Joker by Andi Rhodes

Chapter Seventeen

^{From where I’m sitting, it looks like I’ve got you pinned.}

Riley

Fuck, I’m tired.

Not my after-a-fight tired. More like an emotional kind of exhaustion. Like the constant flow of adrenaline and cortisol-induced anxiety has ceased and my body doesn’t know how to handle it.

I rest my head on the bathroom mirror with my eyes closed while Joker tends to my hand. His touch is rough as I’m sure it’s the only way he knows how to be.

Not that it’s his fault.

I take a deep breath to calm myself when I begin to get worked up again. I’m amazed Joker wasn’t pissed at what I did, and I’m equally surprised I’m not pissed at myself. That was the uncontrolled rage I was just criticizing Joker for having. But I feel like it was justified, and I feel like his is justified too.

He makes complete sense now.

My heart squeezes, and I swallow emotion that clogs my throat. It’s strange going from rage to heartbreak.

I open my eyes and watch as he finishes diligently wrapping my hand. His eyes are narrowed in concentration and his fingers work deftly.

He finishes up and stands, and I lift his handy work to my face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome,” he says, his voice gruff. “I uh… I owe you one.”

“You don’t owe me anything.” I let out a short laugh. “Pretty sure I’m the one who owes you. Remember?”

“We’ll call it even then.” His tone is serious but warm. It makes me want to kiss him. He’s a foot away and I could do it, but I’m too big of a chicken shit.

What if he rejects me? What if all I am to him is another conquest?

“You know, I really thought you’d be pissed at me,” I say.

He raises a brow until I continue.

“I mean, she’s your mom… for better or worse, right?”

“Womb provider. And I wish she wasn’t anything… but yeah.”

He shakes his head and puts his hands on my hips. My breath catches, but he doesn’t appear to register the contact. He lifts me off the sink and stands me in front of him.

“The weird thing is,” he goes on, “I truly wish she was dead. I want her to suffer. I want her to be sorry. But I can’t do it myself.” He sighs and looks over my shoulder. “I just can’t.”

“That’s not weird.”

He meets my eyes and I shrug. “It makes sense. You make sense.” I place a hand on his arm and rub the hard muscle. “I’m sorry that happened to you.”

“Me too,” he says, letting out a breath. “Let’s drop it, okay? I’ve had all the shit I can take for one night.”

“Sure,” I say with a compassionate smile.

He takes my hand and leads me from the room. He lets go and I stand in the living room while he walks to the kitchen. A cabinet door bangs and the clinking of glass sounds.

I walk to the couch and sit. I could close my eyes right now and probably sleep sitting up but I don’t want to. I want to stay up with Joker.

How the hell did we get here?

Joker’s heavy footsteps come toward me and he hands me a glass of brown liquid. I take it and he goes back to the kitchen to retrieve his own glass and a bottle. He slumps on the couch, setting the bottle on the coffee table. It’s filled halfway and doesn’t have a label, so I’m guessing it’s expensive.

Joker throws back his drink and immediately goes to pour another.

I take a drink of mine and hiss as it burns my throat. But it’s some good fucking gin. I drink the rest and grit my teeth as I slam my glass on the table.

“More?” he asks. I nod.

He pours me another, and this time I drink it slowly. Little sips that are like acid in my throat.

I watch him staring off into space, his mind a thousand miles away.

“What are you thinking about?”

He blinks and turns my way, piercing me with dark eyes. “Actually, you.”

I sit up and scoot toward him until our thighs touch. “What about me?”

“You’re nothing like I thought you were.”

My heart stops for a moment at his familiar words. I’m nothing like my stalker thought either. I don’t even know who the fuck I am.

“You’re brave,” he says. “You don’t know it, but you’re a warrior, Black Bird. You shouldn’t be running from some loser who makes a few threats.”

My jaw ticks. “A few threats?” I huff. “He hurt my friend, Joker. You read that note today, do you think he was kidding?”

“You were afraid of him long before you left L.A., and you know it.”

I look away from him, my teeth gritted. It annoys me how much he knows about me now, with a quick google search. He never even needed my last name to find out where I lived or who I was.

I have the urge to tell him to fuck himself, but I stay silent. Part of me knows he’s right.

“Why are you letting him do this to you?”

“Because I don’t know who he is. How can I fight something I can’t see?”

“So fucking find him.”

I turn toward Joker, my jaw locked and eyes squinted. “If it was that easy, it would be done.”

He takes a pull of his drink and brings the glass to his lap, his eyes never leaving mine. “Keep telling yourself that.”

With that, I lose it. I turn my body toward him and bare my teeth. “I’m not a fucking coward,” I snarl.

“Prove it.”

His lips aren’t curved with a smirk. They’re a flat line on his hardened face. He isn’t mocking me. He’s challenging me.

My blood bubbles, but it doesn’t have much to do with him. It’s the fact that he’s right. I’ve known it this entire time, but it’s too humiliating to admit, even to myself.

My bravery exists only in the ring.

As soon as the outside threat appeared, I wilted like a flower in the fall. I’ve been looking over my shoulder when I should’ve been looking ahead, chin up and shoulders squared.

I have been a coward.

My fear is real and it’s justified. But running… I shouldn’t have ever done that.

“How?” I ask. “How am I supposed to prove that I’m not a coward?”

To you and to myself.

He leans back on the couch and rests the drink lazily on his lap. “He’s not going to come get you on Soulless Kings’ property. It wouldn’t be possible, and as pathetic as I think the guy is, he isn’t stupid. So… if you want to find him, you need to draw him out.”

I tilt my head to the side. “You’re telling me I should leave?”

“I’m telling you there is more we could be doing than sitting here waiting for him to show up.”

We. So he does still plan on helping me.

It dawns on me what’s going through his mind, and I suck in a breath. “You want to use me as bait.”

He shrugs. “I think you should start playing offense. That’s all I’m saying.”

My shoulders sag into the couch and I rub my forehead while I think about it. It sounds idiotic to run off and give the stalker the shot he’s waiting for. Reckless.

But what happens if I don’t? Will I just spend the rest of my life on this property, waiting for some asshole to go away?

“Maybe,” I say, already knowing I’ll agree to whatever Joker has planned. I fucking have to.

I can’t run anymore. And frankly, I’m tired of hiding, too.

Joker presses a hand to my cheek and turns me his way. I meet his eyes and drown in them. “I’m in your corner, all right? I’m here. I’ve got you. You don’t need me to protect you. You don’t need me to save you.” His eyes drop to my lips. “But if you want an uncontrolled ball of rage at your side, you’ve got it.”

I drop my eyes to his lips, my body saying do it but my mind saying wait. Not because I don’t want to or even because I’m still hanging on to a distaste for this man. It’s saying no because I’m scared. Scared of this being one-sided. Of waking up to an empty bed in the morning.

Of falling in love.

But Jesus fucking Christ, it’s time to be brave.

I lean into him, pressing my lips to his. He tenses like I’ve shocked him, but he quickly recovers and threads his hands through my hair. I cup his face and part my lips when he urges his tongue between them.

I glide my tongue along his and my hips arch with the need quickly blooming in my core. It’s back with a vengeance, and soon I’m lost in lust. My senses overwhelm with a woody scent tinted with motor oil. It brings about images of him with his motorcycle, and as weird as this world was when I first arrived, I want every part of it.

His beard scratches my chin and his hands lower to my waist. With a forceful yank, I’m on his lap, shifting my knees to straddle him.

I moan into his mouth as my hips rock back and forth, craving something. Everything. His cock. His mouth. His fingers. All of the above. I’ve never felt this needed before. I’ve never felt this wanted before.

Joker’s hands tug at my shirt, and we break the kiss for a moment to get it over my head. He yanks his shirt off next, and I hungrily find his mouth as soon as the cloth hits the floor.

My bra unclips, and my nipples harden when Joker tugs it free from my body and tosses it with our shirts.

He palms both my breasts and then squeezes, and I pause kissing for a moment to moan. I nip his bottom lip, and a wide grin spreads on his face.

I place my hands on his shoulder and lean my weight into him, my breasts lifting and grazing his beard. He grasps my hips and jerks me against his bulge.

“You still think you can take me, Black Bird?”

I smile deviously. “From where I’m sitting, it looks like I’ve got you pinned.”

He returns my smile and trails his tongue from the bottom of my breast over my nipple. He stands without warning, and I wrap my legs around his waist and dig my hands into his back.

He kisses me as he carries me to his bedroom and then tosses me onto the bed. I bounce a few times and then push myself onto my elbows.

I’m wrapped so tightly with tension, it’s starting to hurt. I never knew how badly I needed this until a lifetime of need puts its hand inside my core and squeezes.

Joker grabs my ankles and drags me to the end of the bed. He unbuttons my jeans and drags them down, taking my panties with them.

My pussy clenches, and when he pries my legs apart to get a better look, I gasp.

He smirks and flicks his eyes between me and my pussy. “How many guys have you fucked?”

“What?” I ask, self-consciousness breaking through lust. I’m suddenly very aware of how vulnerable I am in this position, and when I try to close my legs, Joker’s vice grip on my knees tightens.

“How. Many. Guys. Have. You. Fucked?”

“Four… why?”

He licks his lips and drops his eyes to my clenching hole. “I bet you're nice and tight.”

Before I have a chance to be embarrassed, he crouches and runs his tongue up my slit. He stops at my nub and sucks it into his mouth, showing no mercy.

“Oh God!” I shout, my hands grasping at the bedspread.

Joker pulls up and runs his hands up my thighs. “Not God,” Joker corrects. He slides his tongue up and down my pussy, and my body convulses. “Say my fucking name, Riley.” He growls it on a command, and my instinct is to resist, but I want his mouth back on me. So I obey.

“Joker,” I whimper.

He licks me again and then stands. He unbuckles his belt, slowly, deliberately.

“Are you trying to torture me?” I snap when he continues taking his time. He laughs and steps out of his jeans. He pumps his hard cock a few times and positions himself between my legs.

My hips are hanging off the bed, and my legs are bent, my feet in the air. He lowers until his lips are just above mine, and he presses my shoulders into the bed.

“Looks like I’m the one who has you pinned.”

My lips part and I try to lift to kiss him, but he evades me.

“Say it, Black Bird.”

He taps his cock against my entrance, his piercing teasing me. He dips the head in what I’m assuming is a fucking lake with the moisture running in the crack of my ass. But he doesn’t enter. I lift my hips to try and do it myself, and he just smirks.

I let my head fall to the bed and let out a breath. “You win.”

All at once, my body rips in half. My mouth bursts open, and my eyes go wide at the intrusion. The delicious, large intrusion. A guttural moan slips out my throat, and it must sound like a dying animal, but my mind is too offline to care. My body has taken full control.

“Yep,” he says with a grunt. “Nice and tight.”

He pushes himself off the bed to stand straight, releasing my shoulders. He grabs both my ankles and brings them to rest on his shoulders.

Then he fucks me.

Hard. Fast. Brutal. Everything I would expect from this man.

My mouth is in a constant ‘o’ as my body rocks on the mattress.

“Yes,” I moan, throwing my head back and closing my eyes. The scent of sex fills the room, my nostrils, my soul.

“You feel sexy yet?” Joker asks, sounding out of breath and especially pleased with himself.

My lungs fill but before I can belt out a laugh, he flips me over and pushes into me from behind. My cheek digs into the mattress, and I splay my hands in front of me.

“You feel so fucking good,” I whine.

“Come for me.”

My body twists tightly, and it’s as if it’s been waiting for his command because when I hear the words, I explode into a million little pieces.

I stop registering the smells, the feel of the mattress, or even Joker’s cock still gliding inside of me. Electricity fires from my core to every cell in my body until I enter nirvana.

My pussy pulses as I come down from my high and Joker stills. He pulls out and cum leaks onto my thigh.

“Fuck,” he says, collapsing on the bed and dragging me onto him. “That was so fucking good.”

A nod is all I can manage as I breathe heavily, my head resting on his chest.

I can feel the exhaustion laying on me like a heavy blanket, and I know it’ll take me soon. I keep my eyes open and prepare to say what I have to before I let this night end.

Because my fear came true. Maybe it’s the ecstasy talking. Maybe I’ll feel differently tomorrow. But right here, right now, I’m falling in love.

“Joker?”

“Yeah?” He runs his fingers through my hair. His breaths are heavy as well, and I can sense his own exhaustion.

“Did this mean nothing to you? I mean, am I like one of those… Bangin’ Betties or whatever you called them?”

His hand stills, and he lifts himself onto his elbows, effectively lifting me off him. I lay on my side and study him. I’d sit but I’m way too tired. My eyes feel heavy and are drooping.

“You’re messing with me, right?” he asks.

My brows knit with confusion and I shake my head.

“Riley,” he says, letting out a breath. “I’ve spent my whole life hating women. Thinking they were all like my mother. Selfish and uncaring. Today, you’re the first woman who’s ever proven me wrong. You’re not some fuckin’ Bangin’ Betty.”

He leans down and plants a kiss on my lips, hard and possessive.

When he pulls back, there’s something in his eyes I can’t quite gauge, but it makes me want to snuggle into his chest and never leave this bedroom.

He pushes back hair that’s fallen over my eye. “As far as I’m concerned… you’re mine.”