Joker by Andi Rhodes
Chapter Twenty
All of them love me, whether I deserve it or not. Unconditionally, unequivocally, and without fail.
Joker
“Ineed everyone to sit down and shut the hell up.”
I lift my eyes from the table and look at Piston. He’s doing what he always does, calling church to order, but it feels different. Maybe it’s only because this is a meeting about me, about my girl, but it’s a little unsettling.
When the room finally goes quiet, Fender begins.
“I know we’ve got a lot to talk about today, with the tournament next week, but we’re going to start with whatever the fuck is going on with Riley. She’s waiting outside and I don’t feel like having her hover by the door all day.” He focuses his attention on me. “You ready to bring her in or do you have anything you want to discuss first?”
“I’m ready.” I glance around the room at my brothers. “Is everyone okay with her coming in?” I ask, knowing I’ve already pushed the limit with them when it comes to Riley.
They all nod. Some grumble but not loudly and I’m grateful. I really need her in here for this.
I walk to the door and pull it open to usher her in. Tension rolls off of her in waves and I flatten my hand on the small of her back to guide her to the empty seat next to my own. Neither of us sit.
“Welcome, Riley,” Fender says with a smile, although it doesn’t quite reach his eyes. “As you know, we don’t normally allow outsiders into church but we’re making an exception for you.”
Riley nods. “I know you are and I appreciate it.”
“There are a few rules we have in this room,” Piston says. “I’m sure Joker’s already gone over them with you but I want to reiterate them.”
“Okay.”
“The first rule is whatever is said in this room stays in this room. You do not talk to anyone about it. Not Widow, not Charlie… no one. Got it?”
“Of course.”
“The second rule is voting. We vote on everything and we’ll likely vote on stuff while you’re present. You don’t get a vote,” Piston says. “When it’s time to vote you will sit down and be quiet. We follow the majority vote, unless Fender says otherwise. He has final say in everything.”
Riley half-heartedly chuckles. “Yeah, I’ve got that rule down pat. Joker explained how voting works.”
“Did he now?” Fender snarls.
Riley lifts her eyes to me, worried, and then rushes to clarify. “Well, yeah. I know you all voted to let me stay and he wanted me gone.”
My stomach drops. That’s not exactly what I said but apparently it’s how she interpreted it. Every set of eyes in the room, other than Riley’s, glare at me.
“I hate to break it to you,” Fender begins. “But that’s not what happened. We voted you out. Joker wanted you in. He made a good case so I overruled the majority vote.”
“Oh,” she says breathlessly before lifting her eyes to me again. “Why wouldn’t you tell me that?”
“I don’t—”
“And that brings me to rule number three,” Piston says as if I hadn’t even spoken. “Personal shit stays outside the door. Church is for club business. You two can work out your crap later.”
“Do you understand the rules?” Fender asks.
“Yes.”
“Good.” He turns his attention to everyone else. “With Riley’s understanding of the rules, let’s vote. All in favor of her staying in church, thump twice.”
Everyone thumps twice and I release the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
“Joker, it’s all yours,” Fender says.
“Thanks,” I respond. “As you all know, Riley lied to us.” Riley’s sharp intake of breath reaches my ears and it’s almost enough to have me apologizing… almost. I rest a hand on her shoulder and squeeze, silently reassuring her, but her tense muscles don’t relax. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I don’t hold that against her. Not anymore. I know I was the first person to sling accusations when she arrived but I’ve gotten to know her and…” I shrug. “I trust her.”
Riker snorts. “You don’t trust any woman,” he reminds me. “Pussy whipped, that’s what you are.”
Before I can respond, Riley’s shoulders bunch and she shakes my hand off of her. “Is that seriously what you believe?” she snarls. “After everything he’s been thr—”
She snaps her mouth shut, her eyes wide. Greaser’s face is comical in its surprised expression and Fender’s eyes are narrowed.
Well, fuck. This was not how I wanted to do this. But I’m not sure I’m going to have a choice now.
“What is she talking about?” Riker asks.
“Forget it,” Riley says. “I’m sorry. I was just angry.” She sighs and looks at me. “Maybe I should just leave. You don’t need me here to tell them our plan.”
I frame her face in my hands, ignoring the questioning stares. “No, you aren’t leaving. You didn’t do anything wrong.”
“Joker, is there something we should know?” Fender asks.
I take a deep breath. “Yeah, there is.” I twist to glare at Riker. “But first, apologize to her. If you have an issue with how I handle my relationships, take it up with me. Not her.”
Riker is silent for several seconds before giving a curt nod. “Fine.” He shifts his gaze to Riley. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” Riley says.
“No, it’s not,” Riker says on a sigh, genuine regret etched into his expression. “We may be a bunch of hard-asses, but after what happened with Charlie I should know better than to jump to conclusions. You lied, yes, but Joker explained that and I get that you had a good reason. That should have been enough.”
“Riker is right,” Fender agrees. “We already made the decision to trust Joker on this and if he vouches for you, that’s enough for me. For us.”
“Oh.” Riley’s gaze darts to each brother’s eyes as if unsure.
“Joker has clearly claimed you,” Greaser says, grinning. “You’re family now, Riley, whether you like it or not. Whether we like it or not. It might take a little time for all the guys to come around but you need to know that they will. Even if it’s only because they love Joker.”
“I… thank you,” Riley says.
“Now, let’s get back on track,” Fender booms. “Joker, what was she talking about? What have you been through?”
I scrub my hands over my face before turning my attention to Greaser. I can’t force words out of my mouth. I don’t know how. I’m not ready.
“Prez,” Greaser starts. “Can we discuss that later?”
“You know what she’s referring to?” Fender asks Greaser.
“I do,” Greaser confirms. “And respectfully, I’m asking you to put the matter to rest.” When Fender only glares, Greaser adds, “Just for now. Just long enough to figure out Riley’s situation.”
Fender looks at me and the anger leaves his expression. No doubt he’s noticed the way the color has leached out of my skin. He has to have noticed because I can feel it, feel the way my body has weakened as every ounce of blood has dropped to my toes.
“We’ll put it on hold for now,” Fender says. “But Joker, you’ll need to explain before church is adjourned. I’ve noticed something going on with you and I’ve let it slide, but no more. We don’t keep secrets, you know that. And if this is something that is affecting your ability to handle club business, we deserve to know. Besides, we’re your family. You can talk to us.”
I nod, still unable to speak.
“Okay, moving on. Give us an update on Riley’s stalker and fill us in on your plan.”
I sit, afraid my legs are going to give out, and Riley follows suit. I know that we’re moving past the topic of Cheryl but it’s only a temporary reprieve. Somehow, some way, I’m going to have to talk about what happened to me. I’m going to have to relive it all and that thought is terrifying.
“The stalker is a maintenance guy from my old gym,” Riley says, giving me the time I need to compose myself. “I talked to my former trainer and he confirmed that Lucas hasn’t been seen since I left.” Riley pulls a piece of paper from her pocket and slides it down the table to Fender. “Here are all of his details.”
Fender glances at the paper and then hands it to Squirrel. “Find out everything you can about him.”
“You got it, Prez,” Squirrel responds. He’s our resident tech guru so if anyone can track this bastard down, it’s him.
“If you know who the stalker is, what’s the plan?” Piston asks.
“We’re not one hundred percent sure it’s him,” I clarify, finally feeling more like myself. Club business I can handle. Cheryl, not so much. “But, even if it is, we need to draw him out.”
“And I’m going to be the bait,” Riley adds quickly.
Murmurs erupt around the table, some in agreement and others not.
Fender pounds his fist into the table and the room silences. “Let’s hear them out.” He glares at me. “But I’m inclined to think this is gonna be a fucking stupid plan.”
“I get it,” I say. “I really do. I’m not exactly crazy about putting her out there for him to find but we don’t have much of a choice. Besides, the underground tournament will be rocking with people. He’s not going to try something in a place that public. But he will show his face. He won’t be able to resist.”
“Okay, let’s say you’re right,” Fender concedes. “How in the hell do you think we’re going to get Riley into the tournament? It’s next fucking week!”
“That’s where Flash comes in.” I shift my attention to the match whiz of the group and the head of all the underground fight betting. “Flash, Riley is a well-known, respected boxer. Black Bird is her—”
“Wait,” Curly says, looking up from his notepad where he documents every meeting. “You’re Black Bird?” he asks Riley. “The Black Bird?”
Riley’s cheeks pinken with embarrassment. “I am.”
“Holy shit, I thought you looked familiar. But I couldn’t quite place you,” Curly says. “I’m… fuck, I’m a fan.”
Riley laughs nervously. “Thank you.”
“Unfortunately, so is her stalker,” I say, trying to regain control of the conversation. I resume my question for Flash. “You run the betting for all these fights and I know once you calculate the odds, in Riley’s favor of course, that you’ll be able to prove that it would be a very lucrative decision to enter her.”
“I can do whatever I have to, even if it means cooking the books,” Flash says before looking to Fender. “Prez, you’ve got a better relationship with Grizzly.” He grins. “He lost a lot of money on the last tournament and blames me.”
“If I’m going to take this to Grizzly, he’s gonna need reassurance that, if something goes down with the stalker, it’s not gonna blow back on Satan’s Legacy MC.” Fender leans forward on the table. “He runs a tight fucking ship with the underground fights and he’s not going to be too thrilled with a last-minute favor.”
“Remind him that we’re the ones who hooked him up with Donovan and the Black Savages so they could combine their weapons distribution efforts. That’s been a very beneficial partnership for both of them.” Riker cracks his knuckles. “He fucking owes us.”
“Maybe so, but he might not see it like that.”
“Flash will make sure the numbers make him see things our way,” I growl. “There is no goddamn plan B so this has to work.”
“What if she doesn’t win the fight?” Piston asks. “Are we prepared to go against Satan’s Legacy if that happens? Because Grizzly won’t let it slide if he doesn’t gain financially like we’re wanting to promise.”
“I won’t lose,” Riley says and stands.
Piston raises a brow. “You don’t know that.”
“Yeah,” Curly says. “She does. She’s the best fucking fighter in her weight class. Other than that last fight with Tori Li, she’s unstoppable.” Curly looks at Riley and gives her an apologetic look. “Sorry, but that was an awful fight. I suspect it was because of all this stalker bullshit but…” He shrugs.
“It’s okay,” Riley assures him. “It wasn’t my best work.” She looks around the room. “But I promise you, I will win this tournament.” She frowns. “There’s no other option.”
The brothers eye her skeptically but then they all grin.
“Okay,” Fender says and then focuses on Flash. “Get me those numbers by the end of the day and I’ll pay a visit to Grizzly.” He then looks to his right. “Piston, you and Riker will go with me.”
“You got it,” they both agree.
“Pony, Craze, and Chaser,” Fender looks to them. “You’ll be in charge of securing as much Patron and Cuban cigars as you can. Those will go a long way to getting in Grizzly’s favor. I’ll need those by five.”
“Done.”
“We’re on it.”
“Whatever you need.”
The three of them speak in unison. They’ll do what they’re told and then some. No doubt all the local bars, liquor stores, and cigar shops will be thrilled with their profits for today.
“Good,” Fender looks to me and Riley. “What’s the rest of the plan? Once we secure her spot in the tournament?”
“We go enjoy the show,” I say and when Fender scowls, I continue. “We’re all gonna be at the fight. Most of us were planning on going anyway. But now, we’ll have a secondary reason for being there. Watch Riley, watch the crowd. We’ll all be armed with a picture of the stalker so we take him down as soon as he shows.”
“And how do you know he’ll show?”
“Because,” Riley begins. “He won’t be able to help himself. For whatever reason, he’s attached himself to me. He’s obsessed. If—”
“You’re hot as fuck, that’s why,” Greaser barks with teasing in his tone. Jealousy snakes through me and I glare at him. “No disrespect, bro, but you landed a twelve for sure and you’re, at best, a two.”
“Fuck you,” I snap, laughing.
“Anyway,” Riley interrupts, uncomfortable. “He’ll be there. If underground fights are anything like the real deal, the crowd is a little chaotic. It’s easy to fly under the radar and I imagine that’s even more so the case in this instance. He’ll see it as an easy place to get to me.”
“Makes sense,” Fender concedes. “Let’s put it to a vote. All in favor of doing whatever it takes to get Riley entered into the tournament next week, thump twice.”
Gibson, the club’s doc, is the only one who doesn’t vote in favor of the plan.
“Majority rules, Gibson,” Fender reminds him. “We move forward with the plan.”
“I don’t have a problem with the plan, necessarily,” Gibson pipes up. “I’m only hesitant because I’ll be working the tournament and will likely be tied up with injuries and not able to focus on Riley or anything else. Other than that...” He pounds the table twice.
“Understood.” Fender nods. “Let’s nail down the details before we move on.”
We spend the next thirty minutes figuring out the specifics. For the first time since I learned the truth about Riley, I feel like things are finally going in the right direction. One week and it’ll all be over. She’ll be safe, free.
And then she can go back home.
I shove the thought from my mind. One thing at a time. I still have seven days to convince her to stay. Besides, she joined a new gym, signed a fucking contract and everything. Regardless, I’ve got a lifetime’s worth of distrusting women and it’s hard to ignore the little voice in my head that still shouts a warning, no matter what evidence I have to the contrary that I can trust her and her actions.
“Joker!”
I whip my head in Fender’s direction, clearly having been lost in my own head.
“Prez?”
“You ready to dismiss Riley so you can fill us in on whatever the hell she was talking about earlier?” he asks.
“I think she should stay,” Greaser says before I have a chance to respond. He looks at me and gives an almost imperceptible nod before returning his attention to Fender. “Riley should stay, Prez. Joker is going to need her so can we just… Riley needs to stay.”
“Joker?” Fender looks to me.
“I’d like her to stay,” I say and then look down at Riley. “If you want to, I mean. I’d like you to stay if you’re up for it.”
Riley flattens her hand on my chest and I know she has to feel the wild thump of my heartbeat against my ribcage.
“Anything you need.”
“Thanks.”
I rest my hand on hers and look around the room. They’re all waiting, some patiently, others squirming impatiently. I’m not a talker. Hell, I’m not one that lets much get to him. So they know that if something is this hard for me, it’s big. Monumental even.
And it fucking is.
“Cheryl’s back.”
Burly shoots up from his chair so fast that it crashes to the floor behind him. “What the fuck?!”
“When?” Fender snarls.
“A few weeks ago,” I answer. “It started out with texts but she’s shown her face here a few times.”
Fender’s glare intensifies. “Burly, did Margo know?”
Margo and Cheryl were close back in the day, mostly because my father and Burly were best friends so naturally, the two ol’ ladies bonded. But, as far as I know, the second Cheryl left, their friendship died.
“Of course not,” Burly snaps. “She hates the bitch as much as we all do. The way she left and then…” He glances at me. “When she took you, what she did to your dad… Margo’s never forgiven her.”
I tense at the mention of Cheryl kidnapping me. Riley must feel it because her hand drops to my thigh under the table and she rubs circles over it.
“What does she want?” Piston asks, trying to refocus our attention.
“Money,” I say and release a humorless chuckle. “What else?”
“Where is she now?” Fender asks, his face red with rage.
“Well,” I clear my throat and look at my best friend. “Greaser and I handled it and took her to rehab.” I shrug. “She’s clearly let her drug habit get out of control. Way more than it ever was when she was still here. But I called last night to check on her and they said she checked herself out and a friend picked her up.”
“You’ve gotta be fucking kidding me?” Greaser shouts. “I told her what would happen if she didn’t stay, didn’t finish the full length of treatment.”
“Clearly, she didn’t care,” I say. “It doesn’t matter. She’s gone, in the wind somewhere. As long as she doesn’t show up here or keep begging for money, I don’t give a shit where she is. She could be dead in a fucking gutter for all I care.”
“Joker,” Riley says. “You don’t mean that.”
I heave a sigh. She’s right, I don’t. Cheryl is evil to her very core but she’s also the woman who gave me life. I don’t want her dead. But I don’t want her in my life either.
“No, I don’t,” I agree. “But Cheryl’s presence isn’t what Riley was referring to earlier.”
“Okay.” Fender leans back in his chair and crosses his arms. “What else is there?”
“Greaser, do you have the recording on your phone?” I ask knowing that he had to download it from the security system and also that he’s watched the whole fucking thing.
Greaser nods.
“It’s probably easier if you all watch the security feed from the Nightmare Room.”
I reach out a hand for Greaser’s phone and he hands it to me. I pull up the video and hook up the phone to the projector with a USB cord. When it’s all set up, I hit play.
I try to shut out the voices coming through the speaker. I try to ignore the screen that my brother’s eyes are glued to. But when Riley’s rage is on display, I give in to temptation. I watch as she beats the shit out of Cheryl… for me.
The video ends after Greaser drags her out of the room by her arm. Her body is battered and she’s not helping him at all but he doesn’t let it stop him and I can’t stop the grin that forms. Greaser had my back that day. He had no idea why but without question, he did what I asked. That is something I can never repay him for.
When the screen goes blank and I look at my brothers, the ones I grew up with, the ones who helped raise me, and the ones who are newer. That’s when it hits me.
Every single one of them would have done the same thing as Greaser. They would have had my back, no questions asked. Because they’re family. And they give a shit about me in ways I don’t deserve because I kept something from them.
“Listen,” I say, emotion clogging my throat. “I am sorry that I kept—”
“No!” Fender barks as he stands and then stabs a finger in my direction. “No fucking way is that shit happening.” My brow furrows with confusion. “You don’t have to apologize for a thing, Joker. You hear me? Not a fucking thing.” I nod, my vision now blurry as the emotion that was in my throat seems to have traveled to my eyes. “Cheryl is a fucking cunt who doesn’t deserve you as a son. If anyone is owed an apology, it’s you. I’m sorry that we didn’t help you, that we didn’t recognize what was going on with you.”
A laugh bubbles from my throat and it’s in stark contrast to what I’m actually feeling. “You couldn’t have done anything, you know that, right? I hid this from you… from all of you.”
“Yeah.” Fender nods. “I get that. But you shouldn’t have felt you had to. And for that, I’m sorry.”
I wave away his apology. “It’s fine.” Riley’s fingers dig into my thigh. “Okay, it’s not fine. None of it is fine. Cheryl really did a number on me, probably even more so than what I endured at the hands of her many boyfriends.” I sneer the word. “But I’m good now. As good as I can be. I just want to move on from it, leave it in the past where it belongs.” I look at Riley and smile. “I want to enjoy the present without anything else clouding it. I need that. Hell, I’ve earned that.”
“Yeah, brother, you have,” Greaser says.
“Anyway,” I heave a sigh. “You all needed to know. I couldn’t carry that secret around any longer. Not with her back.”
Fender clears his throat, pulling my focus. His face is still a mask of fury but there’s another emotion, something else mixed in. Sadness? Regret? I don’t know what it is exactly but what I do know is it’s there because he loves me.
All of them love me, whether I deserve it or not. Unconditionally, unequivocally, and without fail. I allow my gaze to land on Riley’s face and I lock eyes with her. I try to find the same emotion in her eyes that I see in theirs. I try to determine if she feels the same, or find even a hint that she could feel the same.
And much to my surprise, it’s there.
She loves me.
