Frenetic by T. S. Snow
Charisma
“I’m sorry, you did what?” I yelled over the phone at Christian, wishing more than ever that I’d just dreamed the entire conversation. I was standing in the middle of Bast’s living room, where I’d been pacing back and forth since the boss had called me to give me the news.
Sadly, to me, this nightmare was very much my real life, and my boss had just ordered the guy I was pissed at to be my babysitter for the day.
“Honestly, Carter, have you forgotten all your manners?” Christian’s exasperated voice filled my ears, and I knew he was rubbing his eyes right now.
He always did that when he was talking to me.
One would think I frustrated him or something. Clearly, what he needed was another one of my pranks. Once I was allowed back at AMIA, I’d pull the mother of all pranks on him, one that would put his burned eyebrows to shame. He deserved it after assigning Blaze to me yet again.
I was generous that way.
“I’m sorry, boss, but you couldn’t possibly have said what I thought you did,” I replied.
“Did I stutter?” Cue dramatic pause. “Agents Futhark and Illudere will be accompanying you on your outing. You want to go into your apartment and salvage your things? That’s how it’s going to be. If you don’t want to think of them as security, then think of them as extra hands to carry your equipment. I don’t really give a shit. Then they’ll be escorting you to AMIA.” As usual, his barked orders left no room for argument. It wasn’t that I didn’t want Blair’s help. Hell, I was all for it. It was just that…I’d have to face Blaze.
And having learned about the bet after his betrayal with Cara only made things more complicated. All I wanted was to stay in my mailbox and avoid…well, life.
But I supposed I’d have to put on my big girl panties and opossum up. Face the music and all that jazz.
Besides, I’d have Blair with me to act as a buffer, so it wouldn’t be so bad, right? Blair was all tough and scary, but I’d grown kind of close to her during her stint as my babysitter, and she was actually really nice. Underneath the leather and the sarcasm, and the intimidating vibe.
“Wait. I’m going to AMIA?” I asked, excited.
Oh, this was good. I’d finally be able to get back to work and do good. With access to the technology at AMIA, I’d be more than able to track the resistance, as well as programming Andres’ MET.
“Yes, I think we’re in the clear when it comes to the moles, so you can finally come back. Just in case, I’ll be keeping a trusted agent with you whenever you’re here, someone to have your back. I’m not doubting your ability to protect yourself, but I’m also not going to bring you back just to put you in danger, either. Consider it a compromise. Blair said she knew where you were hiding, so they should both be arriving there in an hour. Be ready to leave by then.”
“Aye aye, captain,” I replied, doing an air salute at him.
“Oh and Carter? Please try to stay out of danger. You’ve already made me lose twenty years of my life; I’d appreciate it if I could keep the rest intact.”
“Aww, boss, you big softie. Don’t worry. I’ll stay out of trouble, promise.”
But just in case, I crossed my fingers because while I’d love nothing more than to stay out of trouble, I knew trouble would find me.
It always did.
* * *
An hour later, trouble banged on my doorstep—well, Bast’s doorstep—in the form of a very hot, very stressed-looking Blaze Futhark.
I opened the door and just stared at him, unable to speak. He looked so good, it was physically painful. He’d had his hair cut, and his blond mohawk was shorter than before, edgy, but not too tall—he’d still be able to step in a wedding reception or something else equally as fancy looking hot as hell. The new cut worked well to highlight his incredible bone structure and gorgeous mossy green eyes. If anything, he looked bigger, more dangerous than ever.
Had he gotten more tattoos as well? While he’d had some runes on his neck before, they hadn’t covered it. Now though, the tiny engraved runes gave shape to gorgeous wings that covered the front of his neck, going all the way up to right below his ears. They were so fucking realistic, I could’ve sworn I caught them flapping before settling once again against his skin.
It was breathtaking.
I wanted to ask him why wings and what they meant, but that would be a conversation for friends. Right now, he was just the guy who’d broken my heart, twice.
Maybe one day, I’d be able to ask him. Hell, maybe one day, we would even make it as friends without me feeling like my heart was going through a pressure chamber with multiple video game characters beating the hell out of it. But that wasn’t today.
“Char. Hi.” Blaze smiled when he saw me, and as my brain completely blanked, I did the only thing I could.
Closed the door right in his face.
“Char, was someone at the door?” Bast asked, coming out of the bathroom with nothing but a towel wrapped around his hips.
I salivated at the sight of him, even as I ignored the banging behind me as Blaze knocked on the door again and again.
Hell no, Satan.
Hell to the fucking no.
“Oh, it’s nobody.” I waved him off. “You can just—”
“Charisma, I can still hear you, you know? Open the damn door,” Blaze called, punctuating the pounding with his words, and I tried my best not to hyperventilate.
What the fuck was I doing, anyway? I’d known Blaze was coming, Christian had warned me even against my protests. So why was I acting like a teenager?
Because you didn’t expect him to look so good or for it to hurt this damn much.
Oh yeah, that.
Stupid Futhark.
Bast started to walk up to me, but I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. I got this,” I mouthed.
I knew if he came any closer, I’d let him get rid of Blaze for me, and while that might prove satisfying…part of me needed to hear what Blaze had to say. It was just that the biggest, loudest part of me was vehemently against it.
“You sure?” he asked, not bothering to lower his voice.
I loved him for it.
“Yeah, I’m sure,” I lied.
I was not sure. In fact, if there was one thing I was sure of, it was that I wasn’t sure.
Abort mission. Abort mission.
And because Bast was, well, Bast, he nodded before heading towards the bedroom.
Just like that.
He left me to deal with my own problems. How was this fair?
Okay, so, I had like three minutes before he got dressed and came back here to get rid of Blaze for me. Which would be great, except it was about damn time I put my big girl panties on and dealt with it. Him.
Besides, I couldn’t have Bast fight all my battles for me. Not when he trusted me enough to let me fight them myself.
The banging on the door stopped, and Blaze’s voice was softer, his tone gentler when he spoke again. “Please, Char. Please just listen to me. And then if it’s truly what you want, I’ll leave and never bother you again. But I have to at least try.”
Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuckity fuck.
Why did he have to sound so sad, so broken? So… So in love?
I took a deep breath and opened the door again, even as my heart tried to beat right out of my chest.
“Talk,” I said, not letting him into the apartment.
I needed the physical reminder that I could get away from it. It might’ve been cowardly, but it was also comforting, like I had an easy out, a backup plan.
Blaze’s eyes were full of sorrow as he looked at me. He brought up a hand and pulled on his hair before taking a deep breath.
“It was about five years ago, right after I turned eighteen. Classes hadn’t started yet, but there were a lot of parties. You know how it goes.”
I nodded. I did indeed know how much Arcane society liked a party, and right before the Academy started, it seemed like there was one almost every single day. The reasoning they used was it was “a way for us to get to know our peers,” but the events were just excuses to flash status and see which family could throw the best parties. From what I’d heard, a lot of crazy shit happened in these things, like college gone wild or whatever. I did hear about this one particular party where the drunks had organized an escape room on steroids, using a lot of illusion magic. It had been a power move—a test to see who was strong enough to either break through the illusions or to just survive the mental strain.
I’d have killed to try it out, minus all the people and alcohol, that was.
“Well, Cara Silverstorm was a senior, and she took an interest in me. The fact that she belonged to another House just made it all the more thrilling, you know? I was young and stupid, and I thought she saw something in me nobody had before. I don’t know, I thought because she was the heir, she’d understand me in ways others didn’t. That she was interested in me for me, you know? Not…not for the power I had or the things I could do.” He gave a self-deprecating smile and shrugged.
Every word out of his mouth was a fucking dagger to my heart. Hearing him talk about another girl was ripping me up inside. Especially when that girl was Cara...my cousin, the girl who had stolen everything from me. The girl who had been put in place and given the world so she could replace me, even to my own parents. I wanted to flinch, to close the door in his face again. But I said I’d hear him out, and I owed it to him to do it. Even if it hurt like a bitch.
“We kept it a secret because of the taboo over it, but it felt like I had found something meaningful…until our one-year anniversary. My brother called me up to his house so we could discuss something, and I found him balls deep inside of her, while she shouted his name.”
I just stood there, gaping.
What in the name of plot twists? I knew Cara was rotten inside, but that? That was a whole new level of fucked up. Blaze did not deserve to have his own brother and my stupid cousin treat him this way. Fuck. I wouldn’t wish that kind of thing on my worst enemy, let alone...let alone someone I cared about.
I kinda wanted to stab Cara with multiple tiny swords for what she’d done to Blaze.
“Turns out, Dean was the reason she hit on me in the first place, and when he deemed it was time for me to know, he set everything up. I never touched her again, never spoke to her again unless we were at some function and it was required.” His face blushed, although whether it was in anger or humiliation, I couldn’t tell. “She never sought me out, either, until that day at the hospital. Little Spitfire, I have no idea what she’s up to, but I assure you, we’re not together and we haven’t been together in a long time. I realize I should’ve told you about it, but…truth is, I was embarrassed. It’s so stupid, the way I fell for their lies.” Blaze grimaced, even as his eyes sought out mine, begging me to understand.
The worst part was, I did. Well, I kind of did, anyway.
I knew Cara. I’d grown up with her, which meant I knew exactly the kind of person she was. While I’d been surprised to learn about her relationship with Blaze, her betrayal and the fact she’d been chummy with his brother did not surprise me one bit.
In fact, I’d caught wind of her messed-up relationship with Dean Futhark, and I’d always thought the two of them deserved each other.
Cara had been in it for the power, and apparently, Dean had been in it to mess with his brother. Or who knew? Maybe his motives were worse, different. But after a couple years, they’d kind of broken things off.
At least if her warning for me to stay away from Logan was any indication, she was on the lookout for a new powerful plaything.
Why she kept going after the men from other families, I had no idea. Cara had to know she couldn’t marry outside of the Elemental mage line. Having affairs was all well and good, but if she married one of them, there would be hell to pay.
Goddess forbid a Head of the family had a hybrid baby with someone and didn’t know what kind of magic they’d have. Oh, the scandal would be enough to keep people up for days.
I felt bad for Blaze and what he’d been through. Really, I did, but two wrongs didn’t make a right. And besides…
“What about the bet?” I asked, and watched Blaze flinch and shift his weight from one foot to the other.
“Do you really want to talk about this here? In the corridor? Blair is about to arrive.” He looked over his shoulder as if to illustrate his point, and I frowned.
“Speaking of, why isn’t she here yet?” We’d scheduled a time but only Blaze had shown up, and it hadn’t occurred to me to find it weird until just now.
Blaze had the decency to look flushed.
“Right. Yeah. Uh, I asked her to. Or not to. I…I convinced her to let me arrive alone so I could try to talk to you. She agreed with the promise that if you told me to get lost, I would.”
Even Blair was on his side? What the hell? She should be on my and Bast’s side.
Oh wait, no. Blair firmly believed I should get a harem of my own, so it probably shouldn’t surprise me she’d agreed to let Blaze arrive alone.
Urgh.
Instead of talking, I stepped to the side to let Blaze in. After closing the door, I walked to the kitchen, knowing he would follow.
The kitchen was the place with less Bast stuff, and while I wasn’t hiding Bast from Blaze—there was no way I could possibly hide the six-foot-something of yummy goodness perfection that was Bast—I didn’t know if Bast had any Necromancer stuff hanging around that would compromise him.
Kitchen was safe, though. I’d spent a lot of time sitting there while I watched him cook.
Ten out of ten, would recommend the view, especially when he was shirtless.
I wasn’t sure if I wanted Bast to get out of that room now or if I’d rather he remain there. On one hand, it would show Blaze I was over him and his stupid bet was pointless.
On the other hand, it was a major bitch move, especially considering what had happened between him and my damn cousin.
Difference being, I wasn’t planning on keeping my relationship with Bast a secret at all.
In my next life, I wanted to come back as a dog—a very spoiled, adorable house dog whose main concern would be whether to sniff my own butt or take another nap.
No more dating, no more having to juggle men and their demands, no more emotional rollercoasters.
It would be just me and my treats. Maybe some belly rubbing too.
Talk about goals.
“Char, will you please at least look at me?” Blaze grabbed my arm lightly right as I was about to pass the kitchen island and head to the fridge. His touch threw off my momentum, though, and I tripped on my own damn feet.
Thankfully, touchy-feely tattooed hottie was already holding me and prevented me from making a complete fool of myself while I was trying to play the badass scorned woman.
Way to make an impression, Char. How are we supposed to pretend to be a strong, independent woman when we can’t keep ourselves from embarrassingly falling around?
Ugh.
I wanted a do-over.
Where were the super-cool powers that would allow me to turn back time so I could try this whole thing again, this time with no mistakes, no pity, and absolutely zero tripping?
All I had was some lame-ass elemental power.
Okay, well, not lame, but still. If I could turn back time as often as I wanted to, or even fast-forward it, my life would be so much easier.
“Little Spitfire, are you okay?” Blaze’s soft question had me blinking at him and realizing my face was waaay too close to his.
More specifically, my eyes were level with his mouth, and boy had I missed the taste of him.
No! Bad, Charisma. Heartbreak and fury, remember? Blaze bad. Kissing Blaze even badder.
Or, you know, worse.
I almost rolled my eyes at my internal voice.
Instead, I jumped away from Blaze’s arms a minute too late and stood upright, walking around the island so the counter would be between us.
My move didn’t go unnoticed, and both hurt and resignation flashed in Blaze’s eyes.
“Yeah. I’m okay. I was just doing a random gravity check, you know. It’s totally a thing,” I added when he just smiled at me like I was being cute.
I wasn’t.
I was being a wimp. This had to stop. Right now.
“Blaze, I know about the bet, so I’m sorry if I don’t just forgive and forget and welcome you with open arms. What I do not know, nor can I understand, is why. If Andres is to be believed, you agreed to the bet after we had already broken up. It makes no sense to me why you would agree to something like that when you’d already had me. Was it just…a challenge? Is the bet the reason you want me back?”
Blaze flinched, and I felt awful for all of a second before I steeled my resolve.
No. I would not be made to feel bad for calling out someone who had hurt me.
Never again.
“Fuck that stupid bet, Charisma. I don’t care about it, never did. In fact, I planned on warning you about it, but I couldn’t get you to talk to me.” He ran a frustrated hand through his hair, messing it up completely and ruining the cool edgy look he’d had when he knocked on the door. “I wanted you back. No, I stillwant you back. That damn agreement the other heirs made was just that—an agreement to let you date us all so you would pick your favorite. But I was against it and I said so. I just… It happened right after you ran away from me, and I was barely thinking straight. That Soulbinder fuck, your ex, was being crazy, and I think all of us just kind of…snapped.”
I rubbed my eyes as a headache from hell started to manifest. There was so much wrong in all of it, and yet…yet it kind of made sense.
Theo could be annoying as hell. I knew that firsthand, and I’d loved him despite it. Or because of it, maybe.
When we were kids, he’d always been a bit possessive of his things, be it toys, friends, or…well, me. But when we were kids, I’d thought his possessiveness was charming, a show of affection, a proof of his love.
My mistake was encouraging it, just a little.
But then again, I’d had literally two people in the whole world who cared about me and being wanted by anyone had felt marvelous.
It still did, even if my little group of friends had grown slightly since my childhood.
“Char…did any of them act dishonorably towards you? Because I swear to the Goddess, if they did, I will—”
I shook my head. “No, nobody did anything. That’s not to say I can trust anyone’s motivation from now on, is it? How am I supposed to know if any of you are pursuing me for me, or because I’m yet another conquest to give you guys brownie points in your messed-up rivalry?”
That was the thing bugging me most of all—the fact I’d doubt their reasoning from now on.
Not that I had any reason to even entertain the idea of dating any of them when I was already with Bast, but still.
Part of me wasn’t ready to give them up, and my ego was more than a little bruised.
It wasn’t just my pride, either, but I was throwing that tidbit of information in denial land.
Blaze walked up to me, cupping my cheek and forcing me to lift my head when I refused to look at him. “Little Spitfire, I don’t think you have to worry about that at all,” he murmured softly.
I shook my head, but his grip remained.
“No, you’re the only one who doesn’t see how extraordinary you are, Char. We were all interested in you and wanted to date you, to court you, and I’m pretty fucking sure it isn’t because of your amazing social abilities or even your Magical Engineer skills, though you’re a remarkable engineer. Any guy would be lucky to have you, and it would be enough to leave the rest of us bastards jealous. You’re this amazingly bright, dorky light in our gloomy lives. There’s no denying the effect you’ve had in my life and in their lives too. The Soulbinder might be a creepy, stupid, stubborn fucker, but I can understand his difficulty in letting you go, because I’m pretty damn sure if I were in his shoes, I’d be experiencing much the same. And the Nightshade fooled no one with his fake indifference to you. The minute your name was spoken, he lit up like a kid on Christmas morning. We’ve all been bewitched by you and your fire, Char, and whoever you pick is going to be one lucky fucker. Please stop doubting yourself or your worth. Just because your family was stupid enough not to see it, it doesn’t mean we’re all blind.”
That was the moment something inside of me just burst free, and I almost did the stupidest thing I could ever do.
I grabbed him by the shirt and leaned in close, then closed my eyes and felt his breath hovering over my lips.
That was when the doorbell rang, breaking our moment.
Shit. I was literally just saved by the bell.