Frenetic by T. S. Snow
Charisma
To say the drive to my old place was uncomfortable would’ve been an understatement.
The tension in the car as Blaze drove us there had been so thick, I could’ve cut it with a damn knife, yet neither Blaze nor I were ready to talk about the elephant in the room. Me because denial was my jam, while Blaze was probably being respectful and not wanting to argue in front of Blair.
I’d shamelessly made use of Blaze’s manners because they gave me time to think. Blair had tried to break the silence once or twice, but we weren’t being very cooperative, so she’d eventually kicked her feet up on the passenger’s panel and started scrolling through her phone.
By the time Blaze parked in front of my apartment, we all jumped out of the car like our asses were on fire.
“Are you going to tell him?” Blair whispered to me as we walked ahead to the building, Blaze trailing behind us to cover our backs. We’d fallen seamlessly into formation, our years of training as agents coming into play.
I avoided looking at Blair as I answered, because the illusion she’d picked the same pimpled teenage boy as last time, and it was unnerving. “I do want to explain about Bast, because what kind of bitch would I be if I called him out on not telling me about his relationship with my cousin if I was just basically doing the same and not telling him about Bast? But…at the same time, a big part of it isn’t my secret to tell. I can’t—I won’t put your family in danger. I won’t put Bast in danger. I just need to find a way to be honest with him without endangering someone I love, you know?”
There was a pregnant pause after my statement as the truth, the weight of my words hung between us.
Then Blair ruined it by turning her head when we reached the entrance to my building and asking Blaze, “Hey, Loverboy, how do you feel about polyamory?”
Blaze paused in his tracks. His illusion was pretty much his true self, except without the tattoos and beard. So basically, an eighteen-year-old Blaze without tattoos. He was cute, but it was too weird. Blaze blinked at Blair, taken by surprise by her question, before he shrugged.
“I think love is love no matter who or how many you decide to have in your harem, Blair. Why, you want to introduce me to your boy toys?” He smirked.
Blair opened her mouth to respond, but I stepped on her foot and glared at her.
This was going downhill fast, and we weren’t even truly inside the building yet. Which was really going against our whole training as agents, honestly.
Even though we weren’t technically in danger here, or at least we shouldn’t be. I hoped.
“Hate to break up the chummy buddies moment, but shouldn’t we, like, go inside? We’re just standing in front of a blown-up building, midmorning, attracting a hell lot of attention from passersby.” I gave them my best attempt at a stern look and then turned back to the building. My building. The first time I’d been here, I’d been too caught up on all the things that could’ve gone wrong, in all the rules Blair and I had been breaking, to really process the situation.
And while I’d gotten used to the idea that I no longer had a home… Well, I had Bast’s house, which did feel a hell of a lot like home, but this had been my place. A place I’d bought with my own money, fruit of my own labors, my haven that I’d painstakingly built and decorated exactly how I liked it. All gone, just like that.
All gone because a bunch of dumbasses thought violence would solve all their problems.
I stood frozen in the front foyer while Blair walked past me, headed for the stairs. Blaze stopped when he reached me and touched my arm in comfort. “We can go back if you want, Little Spitfire.”
I tilted my head to look into the depths of his mossy green eyes, marveling at the tiny specks of gold I could see near his iris, like tiny suns in an alien sky. They were kind, earnest, and compassionate, even on his too-young face.
A little piece of the ice I’d built around my heart melted at his show of support with no questions asked.
But I shook my head. “No, it’s okay. It was my idea to do this, and I’m all right. Besides, we’re closer to catching who did this, aren’t we? So it’s all for the best, anyway.”
Blaze smiled and released me, prepared to follow after Blair and head to the stairs so we could reach my floor. Before he made it there, I held his arm, stopping him.
“Blaze, listen. About what happened in the apartment… I didn’t mean to…I mean, I technically did. I almost kissed you, but it wasn’t… It was a mistake, and I’m sorry. I’m with Bast now, you know? I love him, and I won’t give him up.”
Pain flashed in his eyes. His smile faded, and his jaw clenched. He nodded jerkily and turned, but I kept a hold of his arm, pulling to get his attention.
“The problem is, I think I was falling for you too. It may be selfish, but I’m not entirely sure I can give you up either. I don’t actually fucking know what I want. I’m not…propositioning you to be my side piece or whatever. I would never do that to Bast or to you. I’m just… Urgh, this is such a mess! Why are feelings so complicated?”
Blaze walked to me like a tiger who’d just spotted its prey, and in two steps, he had me in his arms, kissing me like he needed me for his next breath.
I clung to him for a second, fisting his shirt, before the reality of the situation came crashing on me like King Dedede’s hammer straight to my head. I let go of his shirt and broke the kiss. “No. We…we can’t. I’m sorry, but we can’t.” I shook my head as I said it, trying to fight against my libido for once and do the right thing.
“You guys are no fun!” Blair called from the sidelines, and it was an even bigger reality check. I took two steps back quickly, tripping over my own feet but somehow managing to not fall backwards to my demise. “I was really enjoying the boy-love show. Although, I’ll admit I never thought I’d see my brother as a teenager kissing a young Blaze. It would’ve been such great spank bank material if not for the fact that Andres is my brother. Now it’s just gross,” she remarked, and I wanted to keel over and die.
Just kill me dead already.
Playing opossum just wouldn’t work. I needed to go full ghost. Maybe an ostrich. Whatever worked. I just wanted to not be here right now.
Blaze and I looked at each other, and he started to laugh when he saw me blushing.
Unable to help myself and half out of desperation, I started to laugh too.
I’d completely forgotten I was wearing someone else’s face in an illusion.
Boy, Blaze must really like me.
We all kind of burst out in awkward laughter, and I shook my head.
“Andres?” I asked, and Blair nodded, still laughing.
Oh man, I couldn’t wait until I told Andres he had kissed Blaze.
He’d probably gloat for days.
Blaze would never hear the end of this, I was sure of it.
Was it bad that a part of me was thrilled that Andres would have something to annoy Blaze about? Andres was a funny guy, and picking on Blaze a little would probably help him get some of the cheerfulness back. Give him a reason to smile, even if just for a bit.
Not that I was willing to forgive him quite yet, but nobody deserved to have their own uncle stage a coup against them while their dad was sick.
But such was the life of the members of an Arcane family.
Being stabbed in the back by someone you thought you could trust was just another ordinary day.
It was no wonder they were all a little paranoid.
I shared one last smile with Blaze before ducking my head and heading in Blair’s direction.
“C’mon, guys, are you two just going to stand there dillydallying all day? We got work to do!”
I swore I could hear Blair and Blaze rolling their eyes at me as I clung to the stair railing and started to slowly make my way up.
I didn’t understand why I was always having to face stairs lately when they were my nemesis, but there was no way I was taking chances.
Blair caught up to me in no time and smirked when she saw me climbing up the stairs like an old lady who’d had her hip replaced.
“Shut up. This is better than falling. Just go scout out the area or do something useful while I catch up,” I suggested, and she shook her head at me but went on ahead.
Blaze reached me next, but he didn’t say anything, he just grabbed me, threw me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes, and climbed the stairs two at a time like this was just something he did every day.
I was too speechless to be snarky about it.
But hey, at least I had a nice view of his butt and I didn’t have to climb the stairs.
That made it a double win in my book.