Team Changes by Erin R Flynn
20
“I love you, Inez, and only you,” Cerdic told me two days later when I sat down to hear him out.
I stared out at the pretty sunset and how it reflected off the ocean water, wondering if I would make this into a glass etching because it was something I’d never forget, like that night with Kristof… But this would be the bad kind. I pulled my knees to my chest and hugged myself.
“Please don’t be so upset, love,” he whispered as he moved closer.
“I’ve asked you not call me that,” I muttered, flinching away when he tried to touch me.
“I’m sorry,” he breathed. “I’m so sorry, Inez.”
I shrugged. “For what?”
“All of it.”
Well, that helped. It sounded like he was just saying it so we were okay. I moved my fingers in my hair and scratched my head. “I’m sorry I kept it from you. I know Aether made it clear I should, but I made the choice. I’m sorry I lacked the skills to tell you in a way that wouldn’t have you spin out. And I’m sorry if I made it worse for you by having you hold me those nights before.
“I knew you’d be pissed, and I wanted to spend the time with you before it blew up. I never thought like it did, but I knew you’d be upset. I knew, and I went anyways. I felt guilty when you told me to have a good night because I deserved it, knowing I was going to kill her. I’m sorry all of this hurt you except the fact I killed the bitch who hurt you.”
“It didn’t,” he sighed. “No, it didn’t, Inez. Not one bit. The awkwardness of it made me flinch. It sounds like madness. My first love, who my evil twin was already sworn to, was planning to take over the woman I loved—partially to get me back—and instead, you kill her—and my head explodes somewhere before I even get to that. Then, there’s all this keeping it from us and visions, and I’m done in.”
It made sense. I couldn’t even blame him. However, it was what I wanted to hear so badly, I found myself glancing at Petre who nodded it was the truth.
“You don’t believe me?” Cerdic whispered.
“Like you said, there’s a lot of crazy here, and we can also lie to ourselves,” I muttered, not about to brush that one off.
“True, very true, but I’m pretty fair and make sure not to say things I don’t mean or aren’t sure of.” There was no good reply to that, so I didn’t say anything, and it took him a few moments to realize I wasn’t going to. “I lose my head whenever Ceawlin is involved. I know you would never have cheated on me with him. I know this. I just… And then no one told me about what happened with Father.”
“I don’t want to get into that,” I blurted, hugging myself tighter.
“I know. I know you don’t, and I’m sorry I handled that as I did. I was a git. A foul git, and I’m so sorry. It was done to you and—I’m all mucked up about it. I thought we were close enough to talk about anything, but this wasn’t about that. There were other things we weren’t talking about though, and it pushed me the wrong way. I’m sorry.”
Again, that made sense, and I could even see it, giving a slight nod that I heard him or accepted that. Not the apology yet, but the explanation at least.
“So what now?” I whispered.
“Now I apologize for the rest,” he answered easily. “I want to go through it all and hash it out. I know I fell off, but I wasn’t planning to stay there. I was going to talk to you, but the attack and…”
I bobbed my head. I went off the deep end. Yeah, that messed up a lot of everything. But I wasn’t sure that it had for this, and I didn’t hide that from him.
“The night of the attack, I was sober and thinking of how to approach you. I wanted to ask if we could talk. I missed you. Then the attack happened, and things I was upset about seemed not as important after I thought I would die if you were hurt and I couldn’t get to you. I was beside myself, Inez. I want to fix this.”
“I need to think about it,” I said when he looked like he might ramp up.
He searched my eyes. “What? Which part?”
“All of it. What I want.” I shrugged when pain filled his gaze. “You bailed, Cerdic. Yeah, not like Darius, and over something bigger, but you still did. This was all super complicated, and I understand there were layers I didn’t see in the moment, but I feel like you didn’t see me. I want to think a bit.”
“Can we talk again?”
“Yes.” I pushed to stand and brushed any sand off of me. “But I still don’t want you in my room. For right now, you’re not welcome there.”
“If that’s what you want, I understand,” he rasped, rubbing his hand over his curls. “I’ll be here. I’ll always be here for you and whenever you’re ready. That’s what our love means to me. I never wanted out.”
I muttered something in the way of accepting that and walked over to my security. He sounded like he was going to continue, and I was tired. I didn’t want to keep going right then and needed to get some rest. I wanted to sleep a few weeks still, and just sit with the idea that Cerdic wanted me to forgive him, to be an us again.
Instead, I had another talk with Jaxon two days later. I wanted to groan as I realized it meant that Darius would want one too.
No. No way. We’d already hashed things out, and I hadn’t changed my mind on that. Or that’s what I planned to keep telling myself.
“I love you, Inez,” Jaxon told me.
I bit back a sigh. Did these idiot men just think that solved everything? Fine, with James it sort of did, since it showed he wasn’t playing me, but the rest… Idiots.
“The problem was me,” he whispered as he reached for me. He reacted like I’d slapped him when I pulled my hand away, but I didn’t know what he expected, I really didn’t.
We were sitting at my vacation home, and all I wanted was a quiet night watching the stars from the pool, but I couldn’t push him back anymore given I listened to James and Cerdic. Not if I was going to be fair.
Funny how that would land back on me like that with all they’d done.
“You are still the Inez I fell for,” he tried again as he knelt in front of me. “I lost my way, and my thoughts focused on how we made the coven work and function instead of our relationship. I should have been a better man and done both. I shouldn’t have pushed you to do more and be more like a princess and not helped you stay firm in the Inez you wanted to be.”
“The Inez I wanted to be,” I repeated, thinking he was stepping in it again just from saying that.
He frowned at me. “You’ve said multiple times you weren’t you anymore, or you didn’t recognize yourself. That’s what I mean.”
I blinked at him, waiting for him to give me more.
He let out a slow breath and seemed to realize that, or maybe I wasn’t going to make it easy for him this time. I wasn’t sure if I would have if I had any clue what the hell he was talking about.
“We all change and grow. You have been upset about some of yours since I’ve known you.” He shook his head. “You were upset about all the sex from the blood and just—a lot of things. I should have helped you stay more like you wanted instead of guilt wracking me that I kept pushing you more to be different. I stepped back and saw the differences, and I think guilt made me upset more than I was.”
I listened to him talk in circles and not say anything good for a solid ten minutes before I couldn’t take it anymore. I pushed to my feet and couldn’t hide my upset even if I wanted to.
“Do you have any idea what you’re saying, or are you just rambling in the hopes I tell you we’re fine and this is over?” I demanded, my voice cracking. “You’re forgiving me for not being who I wanted to be while not once saying you like who I am. What the fuck is wrong with you that you thought this conversation would help anything? Where is the kind and understanding Jaxon I fell in love with?”
I ignored his gobsmacked expression and walked towards my security, noting how surprised they were too. I didn’t care. I was done with all this and listening to them. Clearly, I wasn’t ready for it yet.
And they weren’t ready to pull their heads out of their asses.
I wanted to take a nap, but instead, there was a waiting party back at the castle… All with frowns.
That was never good.
“I apologize for demanding an audience when you are recovering, but the situation has changed, and we must speak with you now, Princess,” Joi told me. She was the eldest of the four Sisters of the Earth. I’d seen them in passing again since they’d shown up after the attack and learned their names. Joi, Mozell, Kaci, and Risa were all super old, the youngest of them being Risa, who was just slightly older than Vitor.
So super-duper fucking old.
Oh, and I learned what the Sisters of the Earth was. Basically, when the first non-princess female that was born of a princess popped out, no one knew what to do with her. She was the first female noble and decided to not be a trading card or rare item some court collected, but to help all of the world the gods and goddesses loved.
They were basically protectors of the planet instead of involving themselves with vampires or groups. That’s the way Nora explained it to me, Kristof saying the same. Anytime there was a war that reached their ears, they went and picked off people on the asshole side. If there wasn’t one, they stayed neutral or tried to get innocents out of the way.
Over time, they added members to their ranks, and some retired to simply live their lives, and others died. It was an alternative to being in a court but with protection in a world that is too harsh on women given they take in young ones.
I had asked about that since their youngest was older than Vitor.
Kristof had told me that the last two they took in fell in love and went their own way before the apocalypse. The group had checked on them, and they were fine, so it was a happy story still.
I swallowed a sigh and nodded, noting Kristof looked upset as he moved closer to me. So either he didn’t like what they had to say, or they wouldn’t tell him.
Oh boy. He also wasn’t a fan of not being the oldest and deadliest in any group, so that was always a factor.
We went out onto the terrace, and I was happy at least someone had brought out refreshments. I was hot, and sweet tea made everything better, especially if it was blended with juice.
“I’m sorry we’ve not shown you more hospitality, and it’s taken this long for us to speak,” I said when we were all settled. “Why did you come here, and what is your purpose in your visit?”
Joi looked taken aback by my bluntness, probably used to more of the games and dancing of courts. She recovered fast, meeting my gaze as she ran her fingers over the condensation on her glass. “We wanted to meet and protect Aether’s champion. That is the honest truth. You must be protected, and we all agree it is the ultimate cause to protect the planet and those who survived.”
“But?” I pushed. “There is always a but on those sorts of things. You could have come a while ago. So why now?”
She nodded, giving me an impressed look that I already knew it. “As Mozell had visions of you so we knew to come find you, she has had other visions. She’s had many over her years, and I never doubt them.” She waited until I nodded to continue. “She does not receive as much as you do, and not directly from Aether, so there is some leeway that needs to be given.”
“Yeah, I get that. Please just tell me whatever you need to before all the men around us explode,” I said, the tension rising so high it was about to give me a migraine.
“Erebus’s champion has awakened. As you are the chosen of Aether, nature and life would balance out, and He would have one as well. Mozell has seen her—glimpses only and not her face. Mozell is sure this princess has awakened though and knows she is the champion of Erebus. She is the reason the corrupted have changed. It is her power that cloaks them as they desperately try to kill you before you save us all.”
I stared at her for a few minutes, simply staring and hoping she would tell me that she was fucking joking. Unfortunately, she didn’t. I finally tossed back my tea—wishing it was all the booze in the castle maybe—put my fingers by my head, and flicked them out as I made exploding noises.
And then I left. I wanted to go back to being numb and not dealing with any of this shit or the massive problems that were clearly in my future.
Because I didn’t think I could take on a princess who could control corrupted that wanted to eat me, and Aether didn’t even tell me about it. So the one leg up I had on everything was the Goddess had my back, but She’d let Safie slip through the warning system, and now Erebus’s champion.
In other words, we were fucked. Very, very fucked.
Numb sounded great.
The End
THANK YOU for reading this book!!
Thank you so much for coming on Inez’s journey with me. I woves all of you lots for your continued support and wanting more of my books. If you want more of Inez, please leave a review. It really helps me out to know which series people are looking for more from and it’s encouraging to get back to series when people are excited for more. I appreciate the time it takes and hopefully you guys love Inez as much as I loved writing about her!!
Things are going smoother than before, and I think I’m finally getting a groove with some of the crazy of the world chilling. Hopefully I can keep it going… And a big part of that is my editor. We’ve gelled as a team, but she’s had some life changes going on that’s gonna bring some crazy into her life. Good ones, but it’s stress. But we want her to stay and keep me in line, so I hope you all give some love on the release post after you read the book and see how awesome she did once again.
Hugs and kisses,
Erin & Vader