Ryker by Jeneveir Evans

Chapter 44

Really showing love requires more than just words.

~Joyce Meyer~

Ryker

December 3rd, 1999

As soon as Church was over, I’d find out if my first set of plans bore fruit. I was a man on a mission. Short of kidnapping Deb, I was going to do everything I could think of to let her know my feelings, to let her know why things had happened the way they did. I wasn’t going to dump it all on her at once. I think giving her bits and pieces to think about was better than trying to tell her everything all at one time. My plan was to give her just enough to ponder over without it being overwhelming. Then I would go to the next step.

I had to mentally force myself to pay attention in Church. Despite being thrilled with my new MC, my thoughts wanted to stay focused on Sunshine. Once Church was over, I followed the rest of my Brothers to the Great Room. I realized as I walked down the hallway that I’d have to get with Tor and have him go over what was said in Church. I hadn’t been very successful in keeping my mind on club matters.

I headed to the bar and grabbed a beer before I looked around to see if Deb was here. I felt some of my tension ease when I saw her at the table with the Originals. ‘Baby steps,’ I thought to myself. ‘I have to do this all in baby steps or I’ll push her too fast and she will run scared.’

As I took a seat at Dog’s table, I noticed that four stools had been set on the stage along with a few guitars resting on stands. That made me hopeful and curious. Hopeful that my songs would be sung and curious who else was going to be with them. Dog left the bar and headed to the stage. He stepped up on it and turned on a mic.

“Got good news for everyone. Slade and Brenna are gonna sing for us tonight.”

I swear the walls shook as a roar of pleasure went up. Dog smiled at the reception his news got and made his way to the table.

“How the fuck you manage that?” he asked Vip as he sat down. The music wasn’t loud enough yet to keep their conversation private.

“I didn’t. Hogan did.”

“Ah. That would do it.”

It wasn’t long before Slade, Brenna, Cas and Zane made their way to the stage. Brenna took her seat first with Slade sitting beside her. Then Cas and Zane hopped up on stage and squeezed Brenna’s shoulder before they took seats on her other side. That answered one question, I knew who all was going to be on stage. Now to find out if they played the songs I requested.

I looked at Boomer and muttered, “You raise a bunch of overachievers?”

He laughed as held Coop in his arms. I had to smile at the headphones he had on the boy. “Music and playing guitars has run in my family for years.”

“I take it you play and sing too?”

“Sometimes.”

I heard the sadness in his answer. I felt for the man. If I’d had Deb in my life then lost her to death, not sure I’d be handling it near as well as Boomer was.

Slade and Brenna adjusted their mics, then Slade spoke, “Got a call from Hogan. Said he heard that Bre and I used to sing on Friday nights. He told me and I quote, ‘Reckon it’s time y’all get back on that stage and play us some music. Sammi wants to hear you and I want to dance with my woman.’ How could we argue with that?

“We have a few songs already lined up to play. If after that, any of you have requests, just let us know.”

Then they all started strumming their guitars and Brenna leaned forward and started singing. It was a good thing they didn’t open up with my songs because I instantly became entranced with her voice. Brenna opened her mouth and pure magic came out. The lyrics of “A Sunday Kind of Love,” floated in the air. All the Originals who had an Old Lady started dancing. In Seer’s and Tater’s case, they grabbed a club girl and swung them onto the dance floor.

“Damn,” I said under my breath.

“She’s good, isn’t she?” Boomer asked.

“Good isn’t the word for it,” I declared as I listened in awe to an undeniable talent.

“Hell, Ry. I think I’m in love,” Brawn muttered from my other side. “Good thing Slade has her locked down or this old boy wouldn’t care how young she is, I’d be doing my damnedest to make her mine.”

Boomer chuckled. “You’d have to get past Vip first, then the long line of others who’ve thought the same thing.”

They went from that song straight into “Can’t Take My Eyes Off of You.” Next, came “When a Man Loves a Woman.” The dance floor steadily increased in the number of couples hitting the floor. The music was definitely not what people would have expected in a bikers’ Clubhouse. However, it was definitely the type of music to get in good with a woman.

I watched Deb the entire time people were dancing. I could see her swaying to the music as a smile graced her face. As I heard the opening bars of “Ain’t No Sunshine,” my feet hit the floor and I was in front of Deb before the first line was sung. She raised her eyes to the hand I was holding out to her before looking at me. I held my breath, praying that she took my hand.

I almost closed my eyes in relief when she put her hand in mine and I led her to the dance floor. I drew her body flush against me and held her in my arms. As we listened to the words, I leaned my head down and murmured into her ear, “Sunshine, the lyrics of this song are how I’ve felt since the last day I saw you. The sun quit shining for me for a very long time and when it started shining again, there was a haze that kept me from feeling the full warmth of its rays.”

She stiffened in my arms and tried to pull back, but I held her firmly, not allowing her to escape, and soon she melted against me. I didn’t say anything else while the song was being sung. Slade went straight into “Lost Without Your Love,” and I felt Deb shudder against me.

As the lyrics of the song drifted around the room, I said quietly, “Deb, since that day, other than for my kids, my heart quit beating. Every single day since I sent you away, I’ve been lost. Before that bitch went into the tent, King had just said some shit to me. He threatened to take my cut and I fucking froze. What he said hit me hard and I wasn’t thinking straight.

“I knew as soon as you rode out that I’d fucked up. I sent Layla away immediately and went into town to find you. I searched for eight days before I finally had to accept you were gone. One day, Sunshine, please let me explain everything to you.”

I vaguely noticed the next song that came on was “Let’s Stay Together.”

“Deb, I fell in love with you the first day I saw you. I’ve been in love with you ever since. I’m asking you to give me a chance, Sunshine. I’m begging you, baby. Give me a chance.”

As the last words of the song faded away, I cupped her face in my hands and tilted her head upward. I slowly leaned down and brushed my lips against hers.

“You’re the only one I’ve ever wanted to call mine. That has never changed, Deb. Never.”

I led her back to her table and kissed her forehead because I didn’t trust myself to attempt a second kiss. I was afraid that if I did, I wouldn’t be able to stop.

I stroked her cheek and whispered. “I love you, Sunshine.”

Then I left the Clubhouse. I had to get out of there. I knew there was no way I could stay without wanting to throw her over my shoulder and take her home with me. I had to be patient. I couldn’t force her. I had to give her time to think about what I said.

But, fuck, it was a hard thing to do.

~*~

Deb

December 6th, 1999

It was early Monday morning. I’d been up since five, that is if I even actually went to sleep. My thoughts wouldn’t shut down. It had been three nights and two days since I’d last seen Ry. I felt like I had been in a fog ever since we’d danced. He’d dropped bomb after bomb of explanations on me. Then he’d left me with the words, ‘I love you, Sunshine,’ ringing in my ears.

I went over everything he said time and time again. I hunted for insincerity in his statements, but couldn’t find any. When he spoke of feeling like the sun had quit shining for him, it felt like he had crawled inside my mind and was reading my thoughts.

How could that be? How could we both have felt the same thing? It seemed that for both of us the only thing that truly brought us out of our mental low was our kids. They had become the bright spots in our world.

Sure, I’d had my family and Gloria that had helped make the days easier. Gloria’s children had kept me distracted too. Yet other than Bane and Leigh, I hadn’t let anyone else completely inside. I had put up a boundary on my emotions and I hadn’t let anyone else cross that line.

Ry had talked about being lost without me. I wondered if he had been as lost as I had? I hadn’t even tried to step back into the real world until Leigh turned three. It had been incredibly difficult to do then, but I knew I couldn’t keep depending on my parents to support us. Had it been as hard on him after I was gone? Had it taken him as long as it had me to rejoin the land of the living?

I found myself wanting to hear more of what Ry’s life had been like before and after our time together. The way he spoke of his Old Lady told me there was more to the story there. Had Bane been right about the woman lying to me? I mentally shook myself. Of course she had. All I had to do was recall the look on Ry’s face as he held Dane to know that was true.

That night when he and his men patched over, when he wasn’t looking at me, I noticed his gaze would find his kids, Bane included. The love and pride he felt for them was written all over his face for the world to see. Trina had told me he was a good dad, that his children loved and respected him immensely. From what little I had seen so far, I could tell that was true.

I thought about that night and realized that Dog and the Brothers were good judges of character. They wouldn’t have patched over reprobates and liars.

Bane’s story had matched Ry’s on another thing, Ry had looked for me after I had been dropped off in town. Trina had mentioned that Ry had stayed drunk for a while after he couldn’t find me. Was it because of me that he had done that? If he had found me, would I have suffered without him all these long lonely years? I had a feeling I wouldn’t have.

Ry had confessed to falling in love with me the first time he’d seen me. Part of me wanted to call bullshit. How do you fall in love with someone until you get to know them? Yet hadn’t I done the same thing?

That day twenty-nine years ago, as soon as my eyes met his across the crowded bar, I’d felt my heart start thumping hard. My synapses had begun firing at a rapid rate. I’d had the wild idea that I had found my mate. And I had, I’d recognized him instantly. Hadn’t I loved him ever since?

So if I believed all that, then couldn’t it have happened for him the same way? Couldn’t he have been in love with me since then too? He claimed that I was the only one he’d ever wanted to be called his. I couldn’t argue with that when he was the only man I wanted to call mine.

Could I turn down his request to give him a chance? Didn’t I owe it to him and to myself to listen to his explanation?

‘He’d begged you, Deb, begged!’ I whispered to myself.

My thoughts were driving me crazy. What do I do, what do I do?

But I knew what to do. I realized that as much as I wanted Ry, and God how I wanted him, if he couldn’t answer all of my questions then there was no way I could be with him. They would always be at the back of my mind. I would always wonder why and I couldn’t do that to myself. The unknown would fester until it finally erupted and the end result could very well be the end of us.

Through all of my rambling thoughts, I had finally realized something. All these years I had looked at what happened as that young twenty-year-old girl. Yes, I had been an adult, but I hadn’t had the maturity then to see past my own small world. I hadn’t ever stopped to think that there was more than one side to our story. I’d just blindly believed there was only my side and I’d been wrong to do that. As a mature woman, I was coming to find out that there had been so much more involved than what I knew. And finally facing the truth, I knew that I owed it to both of us to hear what he had to say.

A knock on the door caused me to jump in my chair. ‘Who in the world can that be?’ I wondered as I headed toward the door. I glanced at the clock to see it was eight. I was surprised that Brax or the kids hadn’t gotten up yet. I yanked the door open, not even worried about who was on the other side. I knew the compound was safe, despite that woman making it into Doc’s house.

Ry stood before me on the porch. I had to hold back a moan. It wasn’t fair that he looked that good. The fleeting thought that Bane was going to age incredibly well floated around in the recess of my mind.

Ry truly was an older, more rugged version of Bane. I knew the life he had survived had caused his features to be harsher but that didn’t distract from his attractiveness, if anything, it enhanced it. His face was almost perfectly symmetrical. The top half of his face was heart-shaped which led down to what I would call a square stubborn chin. His cheekbones were low and his jawline, sharp.

Just like Bane’s, his thick eyebrows had a slight arch that offset his deep gunmetal blue eyes. His long patrician nose hovered over his thinner upper lip. His bottom lip was full and plump. It wasn’t fair, mine had thinned over the years, his looked just the same.

God, how I had loved to suck on his lower lip then drag my teeth across it. Just the thought of doing that now made me wet.

My eyes traced his body which was stockier than Bane’s. It didn’t look like there was an ounce of fat on him anywhere. My palms itched to tug up his long-sleeved shirt and see if his obliques still rippled down his abdomen. He had broad shoulders that tapered down to lean hips.

I knew if I gave in to my desire to rip his shirt off, I’d find the defined muscles of his Adonis belt. I’d had an obsession with licking it and following the path down to his long, thick cock. I’d felt powerful when I took him into my mouth. As my lips and tongue worked him, he’d become putty in my hands.

I saw his jeans tighten as his dick got hard. I had to bite my bottom lip, clench my hands into fists, and lock my legs to keep from dropping to my knees, rip open his jeans, and suck his rod deep into my throat.

He groaned. “Fuck, Sunshine. Quit looking at me like that or I won’t be responsible for what happens.”

I jerked my gaze to his and felt a blush crawl up my chest, neck and face.

He shifted, winced, and adjusted himself.

“Ry, what are you doing here?” my voice came out all breathy. God, what was wrong with me? You’d think I had never seen a man before. Then again, I hadn’t ever seen a man that could compare to Ry.

He cleared his throat and said, “I know today is your day off. I want you to come for a ride with me.”

I opened my mouth to decline but before I could say anything, he pleaded, “Please, Sunshine? It’s just a ride. We won’t stop anywhere until we get back. I just want to feel you on the back of my bike.”

Something in his plea made it hard to say no. “Let me get dressed real quick,” I found myself telling him.

The smile that spread across his face caused my heart to throb.

“Dress warm,” he warned me.

I nodded then ran to my room. This was so stupid. I felt like a giddy schoolgirl. For heaven’s sake. I was forty-eight years old. I had no business being this excited to go on a ride.

‘But it’s with Ry,’ whispered a little voice in my head.

I dressed in thermals and thick socks before I put on a pair of jeans and a turtleneck shirt. I dug deep into the bottom of my closet and found my riding boots. After putting them on, I reached to the very back of the closet and found my lined leather jacket. Next to it were my leather chaps. I hurriedly put them on. I had these two clothing items courtesy of Bane. He’d gotten them for me because I liked to ride with him.

I ran into the bathroom, brushed my teeth, and quickly braided my hair. I rarely wore makeup any longer. So I wasn’t worried about messing with that. One thing I had been graced with was long, thick eyelashes. Girls had always envied them while I had envied their C cup breasts. Mine filled out a B cup nicely without overflowing. I remember saying something to Ry once about being small chested. He’d told me my tits were the perfect mouth full.

I made my way out of my room to Brax’s. I knocked on the door and heard him mutter, “Come in.”

“Hey,” I uttered as I opened the door. “I just wanted to let you know I’m going out. You’ve got the kids. They aren’t up yet. Is that okay?”

“Yeah, Deb. That’s fine. It’s your day off. Going for a ride?”

“Yeah,” I confirmed and damned if I didn’t feel a blush crawl up my face again. I was too old for this shit.

Brax smirked at me. “I don’t reckon I need to ask who you're going with.”

“Screw you, Brax,” I mumbled as I pulled the door closed behind me. His laughter followed me down the hall.

As I stepped into view, I realized I hadn’t even asked Ry to come inside. I’d left the door wide open and Ry was still standing in the doorway. His eyes swept me from head to toe and back again. I don’t even think he knew he was licking his bottom lip. When I stopped in front of him, his eyes met mine. His were heavily lidded. I knew his thoughts had again gone to sex.

“Damn, Deb. You’re so fucking sexy,” he growled.

He held his hand out to me and I hesitantly took it. I knew it was stupid, I was about to be plastered to the man’s back. But holding his hand had always been an intimate thing for me.

It was as if the years had never passed. Our hands still fit perfectly together. As soon as contact was made, I felt zings of lightning shoot throughout my body.

He’d backed in his bike, so all we had to do was get on it and go. He handed me a helmet and as I put mine on, he put one on too. He mounted his bike and, like old times, I climbed on behind him. My feet naturally found the foot pegs and, after I sat on the seat, I slid forward until my front was pressed hard against his back. I wrapped my arms around him, put my chin on his shoulder, and held on.

We spent the next couple of hours riding around Beaver Lake. We weren’t riding so fast that it made conversation impossible, but I think we were both content just being together. My mind flirted with the thought of what happened the last time we were around water.

As if he could read my mind, I heard Ry say, “Sunshine, if it wasn’t so damn cold, I believe I’d go skinny-dipping.”

I wiggled on the seat as his words went straight to my pussy and my nipples pebbled. He turned his head and glanced at me. He knew how his words had affected me.

Without any warning, the mischievous girl inside me decided to come out to play.

“What’s wrong, Ry? You getting too old to stand a little cold water?”

He slowed the bike until he came to a complete stop. He put his feet down on the pavement and slowly twisted at the waist until he was looking me square in the face.

“Sunshine, your ass wants to go skinny-dipping, we’ll go. But don’t think that cold water will stop me from getting hard. We get in that water and I’ll be inside your hot little pussy in seconds. And, baby, I promise you will know that I’ve been there.”

I gulped hard. My breasts ached and my core clenched tight in need. As bad as I wanted to say bring it on, I kept my mouth shut.

“That’s what I thought,” he remarked as I squirmed under his gaze. “Your ass couldn’t stand that cold water anymore than mine could.”

As he turned back around and slowly started off again, I mumbled low thinking he couldn’t hear me, “That’s not it, I don’t think I’d want to stop at just once.”

I knew he’d heard me when his entire body shuddered. I smiled as I realized that I affected him just as much as he affected me.

~***~