Ryker by Jeneveir Evans

Chapter 43

I’ve put myself in this position where I haven’t set myself up with a Plan B. I don’t have a safety net; it’s all in.

~G-Eazy~

Deb

November 28th, 1999

Every moment of last night replayed on repeat in my mind. Ry had trouble keeping his eyes off me, just like I’d had trouble keeping mine from him. On his face, I’d seen yearning. I knew deep down inside that he still wanted me as much as I wanted him. The question was, could I get over all my pain, could I let go of all my questions and simply be with him? I thought I couldn’t. Now I wasn’t so sure.

I wanted him with a passion I hadn’t felt in years. Twenty-eight years to be exact. It wasn’t only his body I wanted though, it was everything about him. I wanted to be in his presence. He had always been larger than life to me. He’d made me feel so many emotions. He had brought me to life.

He’d told me that was what I did for him. That I had brought the sunshine into his world. Yet, he never knew that he’d opened my eyes to the love a woman felt for a man.

Last night he had offered an olive branch of sorts. He’d brought Dane over to me when Dog called him to the stage. He could have turned and handed him to Trina, or he could have taken him over to Bane and Kenzie, but he hadn’t done either. He’d brought him to me.

What he said echoed in my mind. ‘Think our grandson could use some Sunshine right now.’ Our grandson. Ours. He hadn’t said my grandson or your grandson, he’d said our grandson. He’d made the play on the name he’d always called me. I’d loved hearing him call me Sunshine so very much. It used to send a thrill through me every time he did. I couldn’t lie to myself, it still did.

I needed to do some deep thinking about what I wanted. About what I could accept. I needed to decide if I could let everything else go and be with Ry. I had to figure out if I could let all the questions, all the pain, go. If I couldn’t do that, I wasn’t sure if we had a chance to be together again.

I did know one thing, a big part of me prayed we’d get that chance.

~*~

Ryker

December 3rd, 1999

I was nervous as fuck about tonight’s party.

I’d spent the majority of the week thinking about ways that I could prove to Sunshine how much I still loved her. Ways that I could tell her I was sorry for what happened. Ways in which I could explain some of the shit that had caused that day to happen.

The first part of the week, Trin, the kids and I spent getting our housing situation under control. Tor and Taron were living in the Clubhouse so I didn’t have to worry about them. Bane wanted us to stay with him and I seriously thought about it. I finally decided, in the long run, that his place wasn’t big enough for all of us.

There were only three Brothers’ starter homes. Reb and his crew were in one as they waited for his house to be completed. Doc and Ronin were in the same situation, they were waiting for their house to be finished too. Vision and Jett were in the last one.

That only left the emergency homes available that the Brothers had built. Those homes were intended to be used as a safe haven if the club decided to offer protection to someone in need. Reggie, Taz’s mom, took one, leaving the rest of my family to use one of the remaining two because Brawn and his daughter were going to have to use one of them.

I’d heard Dog mutter something about it being a good thing that they had built Bryn a private clinic, or they would have had to move her office temporarily until either Reb or Doc’s houses were finished in order for all of us to have a house. Then he said something to Vip about needing more houses built.

He’d already told Brawn and me to figure out what house plan we liked. Brawn told him when a Brother’s starter home became available that would be all Little Bit and he would need. Dog told me point blank not to try that shit with him. He said I needed to get my ass in gear and find a plan that we all liked. He said that Hoss’s crew would get on it once we had a plan picked out.

Since the emergency house only had three bedrooms, Trina elected to stay with Bane and Kenzie. She said she wanted to help lighten Kenz’s load. Yeah, whatever. She wasn’t fooling anyone with that request. She was wanting baby Dane love. I had to admit that it worked out for the best with Trin staying at Bane’s. That allowed for the three of us to have our own rooms.

Bronte wasn’t thrilled to have to share a bathroom with Raiden, but I promised her it wouldn’t be for long. She hugged me and said she was fine with the situation and not to worry about her. Damn, I loved my daughter. Now if I could only meet Leigh, I’d be happy. At least I hoped I’d be happy. It would hurt if she decided she really didn’t want to have anything to do with me.

By Wednesday morning, we had the house squared away.

Tor and Taron had started working in the garage on Monday. They were both stoked at how well outfitted the shop was. Around noon on Wednesday, I went over and checked out the setup. I was still trying to decide if I wanted to work there or open my own shop. I seriously didn’t think I wanted to have to go through the hassle of setting up my own place. Yet at the same time, I required adequate space for my breakdown of bikes, the space I needed to bend and weld new frames, and a superior paint booth. If ARMC’s shop lived up to Tor and Taron’s description, I figured I knew what my decision would be.

When I walked into the building, I knew the boys hadn’t given me very good information. This place wasn’t just adequate, it was the best garage facility I had ever entered. I don’t know why I had any doubts when everything else at ARMC had blown away every expectation I had. Viper gave me the tour and it was easy to see that there was plenty of space for me to work on my custom bikes. Hell, they had some of the equipment that I’d wanted for a long time but hadn’t wanted to spend that kind of money. I let Vip know how impressed I was.

“Brother, you ever think you are dreaming when you look around you?” I asked as my gaze continued to roam around the garage.

“Yeah, it took me a while to become adjusted to it all. The club doesn’t believe in doing anything half-assed. I had to learn to keep my mouth shut around Dog concerning the garage.”

“Why’s that?”

“We were talking about the garage one day and I mentioned a couple pieces of equipment that I’d love to have. A week later, both of the pieces showed up in the shop.”

“Damn.”

“Yeah, my thought exactly. You think you can work here?”

I laughed. “Yeah, Vip. There’s no reason I can’t. Hell, my hands are already itching to get started on a new build. Although my first two builds won’t be for sale. I promised Draven a custom Harley when we knew he wouldn’t be able to save his. Brawn lost his main one too. He has his show bike, but he doesn’t like to ride it full-time.”

“You’re welcome to start anytime. Let me know what bikes you’re hunting for and I’ll help you find them. If you’re wanting to do a custom frame, I’d like to help with that too.

“Ranger has a shit ton of connections and can find just about any bike you want found. I’ve had to force myself to not buy every old bike we’ve looked at. There are definitely a lot more classics down here and the frames are usually in a lot better shape than I ever found them in Kentucky and the surrounding area.”

“What you’re telling me is that I’m in trouble.”

He laughed. “Yeah, Ry. You’ll be in a shit ton of trouble as hard as it is for you to pass up an old Shovelhead or Panhead.”

“Great,” I muttered.

He only laughed harder.

“Hey, I have something I was wondering if you could help me out with,” I stated.

“What’s that?”

“Who puts the music on the jukebox? I searched it last night for a couple of songs and they’re not on there. I’d like to see if I can get them installed before Friday’s party.”

“Beau usually handles that,” he responded as he studied my face. “You finally decide you’re going after her?”

“Yeah, I did. I’m scared as fuck she’ll never forgive me, but I won’t know until I give it my best shot.”

“True that, Brother. I hope it all works out.”

It was my turn to study him. He looked in deep thought.

“Whatcha thinking about, Vip?”

“What songs do you want, Ry?”

“ ‘Ain’t No Sunshine,’ by Bill Withers and ‘Lost Without Your Love,’ by Bread. Yeah, I know they’re sappy as shit.”

“You won’t get any judgement from me, Brother. Jennie likes dancing to those types of songs and I try to give it to her.”

I jerked my chin in his direction.

“Hmm,” he pondered out loud.

I watched as he pulled his phone out of its case and hit a number.

“Hogan, Vip here. Need some help.”

I listened to his one-sided conversation.

“Brother, think it’s time to get Slade and Brenna to play for us again.”

He was silent for a moment.

“I’ve tried to get her to play and sing. Think she’ll only do it if you ask.”

More silence.

“Yeah, see if you can get them to play Friday after Church. Tell them you want to hear Bill Withers' song, ‘Ain’t No Sunshine,’ and ‘Lost Without Your Love,’ by Bread.”

He listened for a minute then said, “I’d appreciate it, Hogan. You’ll be helping a Brother out.”

“What was that all about?” I questioned.

He sighed.

“I’m sure Bane’s told you what happened to Doom. My daughter Brenna hasn’t sung since the night he was killed. She’s still working out her guilt over feeling responsible for his death. Slade has only sung once since then and that was at Doom’s funeral. Hogan is Doom’s dad. If anyone can get them to play and sing it will be him and his Old Lady Sammi.”

“I take it Slade and Brenna are good?”

“Ry, good isn’t even the word for them. You’ll see Friday night. He’ll get them to play.”

“Appreciate it, Vip.”

“No worries, Ry. Happy to help you out. It’s about damn time you got the girl.”

I’d left the garage and headed to Angel’s Ink. I needed to see if I could get Brax to help me out as well. I entered the shop and studied the place. It was fucking nice.

A hallway separated the shop from front to back. The front area of the shop was open concept with a reception area and cubicles. The individual cubicles, or artist stations as they’re called, only had four-feet tall half walls. This allowed anyone in the front area of the shop to see when people entered the front door.

Down the hallway past the cubicles were enclosed rooms for tattoos that required privacy. The hallway ended in a large open breakroom.

		room	room	cubicle	cubicle	Recep
break	room	hall	hall	hall	hall	tion
		room	room	cubicle	cubicle	area

Just looking at all the pictures of tattoos hanging on the wall made me itch for a new tat. The artists’ skill in the designs of those photos made me regret that I didn’t have a lot of room left on my body. What I did have was mainly on my legs.

A bell had rung when I walked into the shop. One of the Prospects was working in a cubicle. The buzz of his instrument was barely heard because of the rock music that was blaring. It took him several seconds before he glanced toward the door.

“Ryker, what can I do for you?” Blade asked as he paused working.

“Brax around?”

“Yeah, he’s in the breakroom, just follow the hallway all the way back.”

“Thanks, man, I appreciate it.”

He responded with a tilt of his head then went back to work. As I strolled by his station, I looked at the tat he was creating.

“Holy shit,” I muttered. I was stunned. This kid was extremely talented. I recognized right away who he was working on. Reb was stretched out on a table on his stomach. Blade was laying various shades of gray in the massive back piece.

“That’s sick,” I said as I came to a halt to further examine the tat.

Blade was using black and white to create a stunning military montage tattoo. There were various smaller images depicted that blended into a singular huge design.

“You’re fucking talented, Blade,” I told the young man.

“Thanks,” he mumbled as he concentrated on laying ink.

“You like it, Ry?” Reb asked.

“I don’t just like it, Reb. I fucking love it. Makes me wish I had more of my canvas left.”

He chuckled. “At the rate I’m going, I won’t have much left before long.”

“I want to see that when it’s completed,” I informed him.

“Alright, Ry.”

I carried on to the back room having a brief moment of envy. I had some nice ink, but I didn’t have anything as eye-catching and dramatic as what Reb was getting.

When I stepped into the break room, I saw Brax sitting at a long table to the right hand side of the room. It looked like the space played double duty. Brax was in the middle of drawing a tat. He looked up as I entered the room.

“Ryker, what’s going on?”

“Hey, Brax. I came to see if you can help a Brother out.”

He turned around on his swivel chair and gave me his full attention.

“Whatcha need?”

“I’d like a little help with Deb.”

He tilted his head a little and looked at me with a perplexed expression.

“How can I do that?”

“Gonna try my damnedest to win her back. She’s fighting against me for all she’s worth. I don’t blame her. I hurt her badly years ago. I’ve regretted what happened ever since. I’m going to do my best to regain her trust and her love.

“Was wondering if you can get her to the party after Church?”

He sighed. “Hell, you’re going to take away my nanny.”

“I haven’t gotten her yet.”

“I see your determination. I’ll call one of the teens to babysit. I’ll tell Deb she needs a night off and away from the house.”

“Tell her you want her to hear Slade and Brenna sing if she hasn’t before.”

“They’re going to sing?” he asked, surprised.

“Hoping so. Hogan is going to request that they do.”

He nodded. “That’ll do it. Shouldn’t have any problems getting Deb to the Clubhouse then. She loves listening to them.”

“Appreciate it, Brax.”

“It’s all good, Brother. Y’all give me warning before she leaves us.”

I smiled at him. “As much as she seems to love your kids, I have a feeling we’ll find a way to make it work where she still watches the kids the majority of the time.”

“That’d be good. Deb keeps my life sane.”

“I can understand that. Thanks again, Brax.”

As I turned to leave, he remarked, “You decide you want ink, holler at us.”

“Will do, Brother.”

~***~