Finding Ronan’s Heart by Melanie Moreland

Chapter Nineteen

Ronan

Irushed through my shower, pulling on a pair of sweats and a Henley, and hurried back to the living room. Beth wasn’t in the chair, and panicked, I spun on my heel, only to find her standing in the kitchen. I realized I could smell the delicious aroma of breakfast, and I shook my head as I headed toward her.

“You don’t have to cook.”

“Liam says you haven’t been eating. Your face is thin.” She frowned. “I don’t like it.”

I slid onto the seat at the island. “I haven’t been hungry,” I admitted.

“You’re going to eat now. You need to go grocery shopping too,” she admonished.

I captured her hand as she slid a plate my way. “You’ll eat with me?” She looked as if she’d lost weight as well. Her cheeks weren’t as full as they normally were. I preferred them rounded and soft under my touch.

She picked up another plate. “Yes. We’ll eat, then talk.”

She pulled herself up onto the stool beside me, muttering about giants and chairs. I felt the first honest laugh I’d had since that awful day escape my lips. “I’ll get a table and normal-sized chairs.”

She pursed her lips. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.”

It was a sobering reminder that I had a long way to go. Feeling grim, I looked down at my plate, my fleeting appetite gone once again.

She put her hand on my arm and waited until I met her eyes. “It’s fine, Ronan. Eat, please.”

I picked up my fork because she asked me to. I knew right then I would do anything she asked, because it was her. I cut into the omelet and chewed slowly. It was full of cheese and ham, with onions and peppers added to it. I regarded her curiously.

“I had this in my fridge?”

“No. When Liam said you hadn’t been eating, I asked him to stop at a store.”

“It’s delicious.”

“Then eat it before it gets cold.”

I tucked in, watching as she nibbled on toast and pushed a small piece of the omelet around on her plate. I wanted to pull her closer and feed her from my plate, make her eat, but I decided to hold back for now. I finished my breakfast, then took her plate and ate hers.

“I’ll be feeding you later,” I informed her, unable to keep quiet.

She only smiled. She looked exhausted, and I hated that. She already walked a thin line of permanent weariness, and the fact that I had pushed her over the edge didn’t sit well with me.

I drained my coffee and turned to her.

“My name is Ronan Adam Callaghan. I’m one-third of a set of triplets, and I have an older brother and sister.”

“Your poor mother,” she murmured.

I grinned. “That’s not the worst of it. Wait until you meet my dad. He’s the biggest handful.”

“So, the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.”

I lifted her hand and kissed the knuckles, holding her palm to my chest. “Beth, I have so much to tell you, but I’m not sure where to start. I think maybe it might be easier for me if you asked me any questions you want.” I huffed out a long sigh. “Otherwise, I feel as if I’m just going to spit out facts. I have no idea how to do this. What you want.”

“I want to know you, Ronan. All of you. Why did you hide part of yourself?”

I played with her fingers, then lifted my head and met her gaze. “I liked how you looked at me. How you treated me. I was just Ronan. I wasn’t attached to a name or a family. I wasn’t part of a group. I was just me.”

“You don’t like being a triplet?”

“No. I mean, yes, I do. I love my brothers. But people tend to treat us like one person, and we’re not. You only saw me. You made me poached eggs,” I finished, sounding lame, but unsure how to explain it. “You asked me what I wanted, what I liked, and for the first time in a long while, I could tell someone. I didn’t have to defer.”

“I can understand that, but…” She trailed off.

“I also liked the fact that you liked me for me. Not my money, my connections, or who my family was.”

“Why?” she asked. “Tell me.”

I slid from the stool and walked to the window. She didn’t interrupt me as I told her about Loni. How shocked I’d been to discover her betrayal. How much more upset I had been over Dave’s disloyalty. The hateful things Loni had said to me. How shaken I had been.

“It’s not that I compared you to her. Not at all,” I assured her. “You couldn’t be more different. It just—it really shook my self-confidence.”

She stood behind me when I fell quiet and wrapped her arms around me. I could feel her warmth at my back. She was so small that her arms barely reached around my torso, but she gripped me tight.

“I’m sorry,” she whispered. “I understand hurt like that. That fear.”

I turned and slid my arms around her, gazing down at her sad face. “Who did that to you?”

“His name was Carson. He told me I was nothing but a fling. I wasn’t the right sort of girl to be part of his real world. I wasn’t good enough, basically.”

Bending, I leaned my forehead to hers. “And you thought I was doing the same thing.” I shook my head, pressing harder. “I’m sorry, little bird. I fucked that up so badly.”

For a moment, we stood, holding each other. “I think we both have suffered in the past. The question is, can we move forward?” I asked, a strange hitch to my voice. I had to swallow before I could speak again. “Can you forgive me?”

“I need you to tell me everything, Ronan. All the things you’ve kept from me.”

I slipped my fingers under her chin, lifting her face to me. “Can I show you, little bird?”

“Show me?”

“Come with me, and I’ll show you my life. You can ask me anything.” Then I frowned. “Or do you have to go home?”

“No, Paige is spending the day with the kids. She wants me to spend the time with you.” She paused. “They all miss you too. Especially Evan.”

“I miss them. Evan the most. I liked spending time with my little bud.”

“He made some Lego things with your kits. He had me take pictures.”

“I want to see them. See him.” I dragged her to my chest, holding her close. “I want to work this out with you.”

She let me hold her, and I felt a sense of peace that had been elusive since she’d walked away from me. For a moment, everything was right with my world. Then she stepped back.

“Show me.”

I smiled down at her.

“You’re standing in my house in the BAM compound.”

She lifted one eyebrow. “Is that like a cult?” she asked, her eyes dancing.

I laughed. “My family—BAM—owns this land. A lot of it. Originally, it was purchased to be made into a resort. But my father and Bentley both loved it here and decided to keep it for themselves. They gradually bought up all the land around it they could, and a lot of the family lives here. I grew up here.” I tugged her to the window. “I will never tire of this view. The water, the clouds.” I pointed to the sky. “Is a storm coming?”

She peered up, cocking her head. “No, those are just cumulus. There are no cumulonimbus clouds forming that I see.”

Unable to help myself, I bent and kissed her neck. “I love it when you talk cloud.”

She laughed, and I felt the shiver that ran through her when I touched my mouth to her skin. It was a good sign.

“So, you live here?” she asked. “Not the condo you showed me?”

“No, the condo is mine. I’ve lived there the past few years. We’re all given a piece of land here for a house if we want one. I love it here—I feel different when I’m out here than in the city. ABC is building its head office here and will open soon. I’ll go between the two for a while, but I do plan on settling here.”

“Oh.” There was a sad sound to the single word, and I felt her stiffen in my arms.

“Not for a bit, Beth. And we’ll work it out, if you want us to. I can commute.” I rested my chin on her shoulder. “I can arrange to commute you to and from school. Port Albany has great schools for Evan.”

She startled. “You’re getting way ahead of yourself.”

“Just wanted you to know I was already thinking it. Making plans.”

“Oh,” she said again. But this time, the word was breathed out in wonder.

I stepped back and held out my hand. “Come with me.”

We walked on the beach, and I showed her the houses. “Bentley and Emmy. She was the waitress.” I indicated the other large house. “That’s my parents’ place. Aiden and Cami.”

“And that one?”

“Nan and Pops. Sandy was the assistant at BAM until she retired. Pops is her second husband. He worked there too.”

“I love how all the houses have a view of the water or the woods.”

“It was designed that way. Bentley and my dad had a whole vision for this place. When everyone is here, the place is hopping. None of us has huge yards—we share the land. There’s a pool and games area in the middle we all have access to.” I pointed to the Hub. “That large building is our gathering place. We celebrate holidays and special occasions there. We all use it the rest of the time like a recreation center. There’s a gym and a small indoor pool. A library. Lots of places to sit and read or visit. Tons of games.” I grinned at her. “Evan and Lucy would have a field day.”

“And your whole family lives here?”

“No. Some use their places like vacation homes. A few, like Bentley’s son, Thomas, or Maddox’s daughter, Shelby, don’t want a place. Thomas lives in BC, and Shelby has a condo in Toronto.” I pointed to a house close to the woods. “That’s the guest house. It has lots of bedrooms, so they can come stay whenever they want. Shelby usually stays with her parents, but Thomas likes his privacy when he visits. It’s used for other guests too.”

“And you all get along?”

“Yeah, we do.” I held her hand, stroking my fingers over her knuckles. “I grew up with all of them. We’re a huge, blended family. Everyone has their own lives, their own passions and pursuits. Some of us work together. We all have our little circles within the family, but we all also get along.”

“That is amazing. And unusual.”

“I know. I’m incredibly blessed.” I smiled down at her. “I know I am. Despite my actions to the contrary, I know that.”

She shrugged. “I can also see needing your own space.”

I nodded. “We give that to one another as well—at least, most of the time. We’re a family, and we squabble and bicker. But we do love one another.”

I tugged on her hand. “If you’re ready, I’ll show you more.” I met her gaze. “Brace yourself. We’ll be driving around in the golf cart, and we’re bound to run into my family. Are you ready for that?”

“Are you?” she asked.

“Yes,” I said with a smile. “I am so ready.”

“Then let’s go.”

* * *

I pointed out houses as I drove the cart slowly around the property, answering Beth’s questions as they came up. Liam was on his deck, drinking coffee. He waved, and I gave him the finger. Beth slapped my hand, and he laughed, making an obscene gesture back at me. I stopped by Gracie’s house as she came out, holding Kylie. She hugged Beth and met my gaze, her eyebrows lifted. I winked so she knew I wasn’t angry with her. I could never be angry with Gracie. Jaxson followed and shook Beth’s hand.

“Heard a lot about you, Beth. Looking forward to getting to know you more. Ronan says you’re one in a million.”

Beth blushed, which made me smile. She watched me holding Kylie with a strange look on her face. I only got Kylie for a few moments. She was too impatient these days to be held long, and she pointed to the beach, wanting to play on the sand. Laughing, Jaxson took her from me, heading to the sun-filled area. Gracie smiled. “The parents are in the Hub, having coffee.”

“All of them?” I asked.

“Yes. I was there a few moments ago to borrow some cream. They were sitting around, talking about next weekend.” Her gaze flitted to Beth then back to me. “Not sure if you want to avoid that today or not.”

She waved and hurried to join Jaxson and Kylie. Jaxson wrapped an arm around her shoulder, pulling her in close. She looked tiny beside his towering height. Beth watched them with a smile. “What a lovely family.”

“They are.”

We continued our drive. I showed her Ava’s place, not surprised to see the blinds still drawn. “She likes to sleep late on Sundays,” I explained. I showed her the pool and outdoor area, and all the other houses.

“Your house isn’t beside Paul’s and Jeremy’s?” she asked. “I’m a little surprised, given what you told me.”

“That piece of land was always my favorite. I loved the bluff and the unobstructed view.” I paused. “Paul and Jeremy aren’t as big on Port Albany as I am. They each have half of that semi attached over there, by the woods. There was only room there for two houses. My mom knew how much I loved the other spot and that I wanted to live here more than they did.” I was quiet for a moment. “I guess that was the first time I picked what I wanted over what they wanted.”

She slipped her hand into mine and squeezed. We pulled up in front of the Hub, and I looked over at her. “I would like to introduce you to my parents, Beth. Bentley and Maddox are in there as well. Nan and Pops, probably. If you don’t want to meet them today, I’ll take you back to my place and we can do it another time.” I took in a deep breath. “Or not, if that’s what you prefer.”

“You want me to meet your parents?”

“Yes.”

“Are you sure about that, Ronan?”

I turned to her. “I know we have a lot of talking to do. I know I have to earn back your trust. I have a long road ahead of me before you forgive me. But I want to show you everything. Show you who I am.” I shook my head. “I am not ashamed of you. I’m not hiding you. I want you to be clear on that. I am so fucking proud of you—of everything you do. How you look after Evan. All the responsibilities you carry with such grace and fortitude. Your selfless nature. All of it.”

Her eyes widened, tears forming in the corners. “Really?” she whispered.

“Don’t,” I begged. “I hate that I hurt you. I hate knowing I made you cry. That I’m still making you cry.” I wiped at the moisture on her cheeks. “Please give me a chance.”

She sniffed and smiled. “These are good tears, Ronan.” She pulled a tissue from her pocket and dabbed her face. “Yes, I would love to meet your parents.” She glanced down. “I would have dressed up more, though. Maybe brought flowers or a cake if I’d known.”

“You look beautiful. And they would much rather meet you than have flowers,” I assured her. “It’s time.”