Finding Ronan’s Heart by Melanie Moreland

Chapter Four

Beth

Icame from the kitchen with a full tray, concentrating on the heavy order I was carrying and nothing else. I delivered the full plates, checked on refills, then turned to scan the diner. I had heard the bell ring, so I knew there were more customers to look after. It had been a busy night, and I hoped it would slow down soon so I could start clearing sections for the morning.

I had to stop for a moment and collect my thoughts when I spied the new customer.

Ronan was sitting in the same booth as last week, studying the menu. He was dressed in a tight-fitting Henley, the material stretched over his barrel chest and large arms. His biceps flexed as he turned the pages of the menu, his brow furrowed and his full lips pursed. He squinted in concentration, then huffed and reached into his jacket pocket for a pair of glasses, slipping them on his nose.

I had no idea how a simple pair of glasses made him look even sexier than he had only a moment ago, but they did. I noted there was no gym bag tonight, and I wondered if he had left it at work or was only on a break.

He looked up as I approached, our eyes locking. His brows lifted as he studied me, a smile playing on his lips. He pulled off the glasses, holding them in his large hands.

“Hi,” he said as I got to his table. “I didn’t know if you’d be here.”

I held up my hands. “Here I am.”

He leaned back in the booth, laying his arm along the top of the bench. “There you are,” he replied, his voice pitched low. It made me shiver, and for a moment, we stared. I had to clear my throat before I could speak.

“Do you know what you want?”

He rubbed his bottom lip, looking thoughtful. “Not sure if what I want is on the menu, but I was wondering if the clubhouse is pressed turkey or the real stuff?”

“They roast the turkey daily.”

“Then a clubhouse. And a salad.”

I paused, my pen hovering over the pad, waiting, but he didn’t say anything else. “On a hunger strike today, Ronan?”

He laughed, the sound booming in the restaurant. “Soup any good?”

“It’s vegetable today, and yes. Delicious.”

“I’ll have that too. The sandwich comes with fries?”

“Yes.”

“Great. Add a shake, water, and coffee. And save me a piece of cake.”

“Hummingbird or carrot?”

He frowned, rubbing his chin with the arm of his glasses. “Maybe one of each?”

“Okay.”

“And one other thing.”

“Sure?” I asked, waiting for his order.

“Maybe you could join me for coffee when the place slows down.”

“Oh, ah…”

He reached out, waiting until I placed my hand in his. He wrapped his fingers around my palm firmly, although his touch was gentle. “Is that against the rules? Having coffee with a customer?”

“No.”

“Great.” He beamed.

“I don’t know when it will slow down.”

“I’m not in any hurry.”

“Okay, then.” I waited then tugged. “But I need my hand back to do my work.”

“If I have to.” He relinquished his hold, but not before dropping a fast kiss to my wrist. My heart rate sped up at the touch of his mouth on my skin. I suddenly wondered how his lips would feel on the rest of my body. My mouth. I felt my cheeks heat, and I turned and hurried away.

“Extra pickles,” he called out. “Please.”

“Got it,” I responded over my shoulder.

Amazingly, it no longer mattered if I got the tables cleaned early.

I was having coffee with Ronan.

* * *

I refilled Ronan’s coffee, poured myself a cup, and sat across from him. Luckily, the last few customers had seated themselves in Jane’s area, so she was looking after them. She had looked shocked when I told her I was taking a break. I never took breaks. But when she saw the direction I was heading, I got a subtle thumbs-up from her and a grin. I hoped my cheeks weren’t red when I sat down.

Ronan finished off his dinner, wiping his mouth and pushing away his plate. “That was good.”

“You eat a lot.”

He chuckled. “So I’ve been told.”

“You must have been hard to keep filled up as a teenager.” Evan was only twelve, and it felt as if he was constantly eating.

He poured the last of his shake into the glass and sipped it. “Yeah. I think my mom went grocery shopping at least twice a week. Four boys.”

I lifted my eyebrows. “Four of you?”

“And a sister. Ava never ate as much as we did, though.”

“Big family.”

He nodded, not offering any other information.

“Are you close?” I asked.

He hesitated, but again, nodded. “Too close at times. What about you?”

I looked down at the table, took a sip of my coffee to stall, then drew in a deep breath. “There’s just my brother and me. My parents died a few years ago.”

He reached across the table and took my hand, the warmth of his encompassing mine. “I’m sorry,” he said sincerely. “That must have been rough.”

I swallowed the thick feeling in my throat I always got when thinking about my parents. “Yeah, it was. Still is.”

“I can’t even imagine.”

I looked up and met his gaze. It was warm and caring. Concerned. Honest.

“I look after my brother now.”

“Big responsibility.”

“He’s my family,” I responded.

“Of course.”

I glanced down to where our hands were entwined on the table. His large thumb traced gentle circles on my skin in comfort. His caress was light, his skin warm, and his touch welcome. I looked up and met his eyes.

“I wasn’t sure you were coming back,” I blurted.

“I wasn’t sure either,” he admitted. Then he inhaled, his eyes never leaving mine as he studied me. His chin dipped slightly as if he had made a decision.

“But I forgot something.”

I frowned in confusion. “I don’t think anything was turned in.”

He chuckled. “No, I forgot something more personal.”

“Oh?” I asked, suddenly feeling breathless.

“I forgot to ask you out.”

I blinked, hoping I had heard him right.

“Ask me out?”

“On a date.” He lifted his shoulders. “Would you let me take you to dinner, Beth?”

Happiness surged through me, and for a moment, I basked in that feeling before reality kicked in. I frowned as I looked down at our hands, surprised to see they were still clasped together.

Ronan stiffened at my hesitancy. “Maybe I’ve overstepped.” He began to pull back his hand. “You probably have a boyfriend.”

I grasped at his fingers. “No. No, I don’t.”

“You don’t want to go out with me?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to…” I trailed off, unsure how to explain.

“Are you hiding from the law?” he asked, leaning forward and talking low.

A smile tugged on my lips. “No.”

“A serial killer?”

“Nope.”

His eyes widened. “Would you prefer it if I were a woman?”

I burst out laughing. “No.”

“I’m so hideous that you won’t be seen with me?”

I tilted my head. “No. It’s just—”

“Just what?”

“My life, Ronan. It’s crazy. I work here four days a week. I go to school. I study. I look after my brother.”

“What about time for yourself?”

I laughed. “That’s rare. My shifts are Wednesday to Friday night. Every Saturday. Sunday is errands, schoolwork, and whatever else I have to catch up on. Monday is usually study group. I’m always running late. Always behind. Always playing catch-up. I would love to go out with you, but it’s not fair. You aren’t the sort of guy someone slots in when they have time.”

“I’m not?” he asked, lifting one eyebrow.

“No.”

“Maybe I’m okay being slotted in.”

“You deserve more than that.”

He looked surprised by my words, and he smiled.

“You didn’t say anything on your schedule about Tuesdays.”

I blinked. “What?”

“It sounds like Tuesday is an open day. Aside from school, your brother, and everything else.”

“Usually, I study or relax if I can.”

He leaned forward, taking my other hand between his and holding them both tightly. “Maybe you could relax with me for dinner?”

“I’m not a fancy girl, Ronan. I don’t have a lot of dressy clothes in my closet.”

“I love tacos,” he announced.

“Um, who doesn’t?” I responded, wondering what tacos had to do with my lack of wardrobe.

“Tuesday is taco night. Tacos don’t require fancy clothing. So, you see, the planets have aligned, and now you must come with me and have tacos.” He nodded decisively. “On Tuesday.”

He looked proud of himself. Boyish. Happy.

And the thought of having tacos with him made me feel the same way.

Happy. And after all, it was just tacos. What could happen over tacos?

“Tuesday, it is.”

He smiled. Widely. Showing me his even, white teeth. Crinkling the skin around his eyes that danced in elation.

“Tuesday.”

* * *

Ronan finished his coffee and approached the cash register. He held out his bill with some twenties and shook his head at the change.

“You gave me too much last week,” I argued. “I know it was you who put the extra into the jar.”

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”

“It’s not necessary.”

“I disagree. I said it before—good service, good tip. My aunt was a waitress. She said there isn’t a more unappreciated job.” He reached over the counter and tucked the money into the jar.

I rolled my eyes but didn’t fight him. His tip last week had given Evan a new set of Lego. Evan loved Lego sets and building things.

“You know what else is necessary?” he asked.

“What?”

He held out his phone. “Your number and address where I can pick you up on Tuesday.”

I took the phone, noticing the sleek new version of the iPhone that had only come out a few months ago. Mine was an older, used phone, many generations behind his. I added my phone number and address and sent myself a message so I had his number, then handed it back.

“Six okay on Tuesday?”

“Six is fine.”

“Great.”

I came around the counter and handed him a small box. His face lit up. “Another piece of cake?”

“Yes. The last of the hummingbird.”

“This is awesome.” He leaned down, his hand light on my shoulder. He pressed his mouth to my cheek, his lips lingering, his warm breath drifting across my ear.

“I can hardly wait until Tuesday,” he murmured.

He pulled back with a smile, and I watched him leave, his stride fast. He disappeared around the corner.

It wasn’t until I caught sight of myself in the glass window that I realized I was holding my cheek, the one he had kissed, in my hand. It was as if I were holding his caress to my skin, branding myself with it.

I shook my head as I turned to start clearing tables.

How silly.

* * *

Sunday morning, I was up early as usual. My body was so used to my schedule, I never slept in anymore. When I was younger, it was my favorite thing to do on the weekend, but no longer. I needed every hour of the day I could find to keep up. I sat at the small kitchen table, sipping a cup of coffee, going through the budget. I had been able to work all my hours and my tips were decent, so we were in okay shape as long as there were no major surprises. Using my laptop, I checked my bank account, sent a transfer to Paige for my share of the rent and utilities and signed out.

I looked around the homey kitchen, pulling a leg up to my chest. I was grateful we had a place to live, that Evan had company while I was at work or school, and we were doing all right. It wasn’t the way I had planned my life to be, but the reality of the actual world and the one I had pictured were vastly different. Still, Evan and I were together. That counted for something.

Paige appeared, running a hand through her dark hair and yawning. “Morning.”

“Morning. Coffee is in the pot.”

“Thank God,” she muttered, pouring a mug and taking a sip before sitting down. She indicated the laptop. “What are you working on?”

“Just checking the budget. I sent you rent and utilities.”

“Thanks.”

“I have a favor to ask.”

“Sure. What do you need?”

“Um, I have a date. On Tuesday. Would you be okay with that? Watching Evan again?”

Paige’s eyebrows shot up. “First off, Evan is never a problem. And second—a date?”

“Yeah, remember the guy—the customer—who tried to help me with that asshole? He was in the diner again last night, and he asked me out for tacos.”

She chuckled. “Tacos? Is that what we call it now?”

I laughed. “Apparently tacos are one of his favorite foods. I told him how busy I was, but he insisted on Taco Tuesday and asked me out. I said yes.”

“You must like him a lot. You haven’t said yes in years.”

I thought about Ronan’s warm eyes. His size and strength. His gentle voice and loud laughter. How safe he’d made me feel when he stepped up to protect me.

“He seems like a nice guy. Decent.”

“What does he do?”

“I think he’s a trainer at the gym across the street.”

“A muscle guy? That is not usually your style at all. He must be special.”

“I’m not sure I have a type.” I chuckled. “But Ronan seems really nice. Honest and genuine.” I laughed again. “And his appetite is like nothing I have ever seen.”

“Is he picking you up here?”

“Yeah, as long as that’s okay.”

She grinned. “Sure, I’d love to meet him. He knows about Evan?”

“He knows I have a brother I take care of. That’s all he needs to know. I’m not letting him get involved with us or you until I’m sure he’ll be around long enough.”

She gripped my hand. “Carson was a jerk.”

She was right. I had met Carson at school. He’d seemed great. We dated for a while, and I thought we were getting serious. Until the accident and my responsibilities grew. I remembered the way he looked at me the day we broke up. Cold, removed, and uncaring.

“This wasn’t in my plans, Beth. I didn’t count on a kid who needs help and a girlfriend who isn’t around much. It’s not really worth it. We weren’t forever anyway.” He lifted a shoulder. “You understand.”

“Understand what?”

He laughed, the sound unpleasant. “You were a great distraction for now. But not the girl I’d bring home to my parents. Not the one I’ll spend my life with. I need…a little more than you can offer. Someone worthwhile.”

And he had walked away as if I meant nothing. As if we’d meant nothing.

Even now, I felt a flash of pain as I recalled his dismissive voice and attitude. His painful words. It didn’t matter I had just lost my parents. That my brother was injured and needed help. The fact that my whole word had just been turned upside down meant nothing to him aside from an inconvenience. Add in the fact that he showed me his true colors that day, proving he wasn’t the person I thought him to be. And he had been wrong. He was the one not worthwhile. Still, it hurt, and it took me a while to recover.

He was the last man I had dated. He’d shattered my trust and self-confidence completely.

Paige frowned. “It was him, not you. You know that, right?”

“Yes.” I sighed. “Ronan is different. Or at least, he seems different.”

“Ronan. Unusual name. I like it.”

“I like him,” I confessed.

“I look forward to meeting him.”

I heard the patter of tiny feet, and we both grinned as Lucy shuffled into the kitchen. Her hair was a dark cloud around her face, and her pajamas were covered in daises. She loved flowers of any kind, but daisies were her favorite. And kittens. Puppies. Anything soft. Anything sweet. She was a real girlie little girl. She was affectionate, bright, and adorable. She looked like Paige with her dark hair, small stature, and sunny disposition. She had wide, hazel eyes, the irises a rich mixture of green and brown. She inherited those from her father, with one big difference. Lucy’s shone with warmth and happiness. She was impossible not to love, unless you were Paige’s ex.

The fact that she was born with only one fully developed arm had proven to be too much for the man Paige described as exacting, cold, and indifferent. “He hid it well,” she stated sadly. “I fell for the outward charm and didn’t see what lurked underneath.”

Unable to accept his daughter could be less than perfect, he had walked away the day she was born, abandoning them. He divorced Paige, signed away any parental rights, and she never saw him again. His lawyer was nasty and underhanded, and Paige had neither the money nor desire to fight him.

“Once he was gone, I realized how horrible he was. How badly he treated me,” she confessed. “I never want Lucy to be treated that way. We’re both better off without him.”

I had met her one day in a support group, and we bonded. I was dealing with the aftermath of the accident that claimed my parents and left my brother injured, and she was struggling with a toddler with special needs, on her own with no family. Both of us recognized a kindred soul, and we became close. When we needed a place to live, we pooled our resources and rented a small house together. Paige worked from home as an insurance adjuster, so she was there with Lucy and Evan during the day when I was at school or work. The days I was home, I took over to give her a break. We relied on each other, and we were our own little family.

Lucy scrambled onto her mom’s lap, holding a stuffed animal tight under her arm. She amazed me the way she coped with only one working hand. Paige explained because she’d never known any different, Lucy adapted easier than someone who lost it later in life. I knew Evan was struggling with his disability, although I hoped in time it became easier. I hoped one day a treatment could be found that would work on improving his life.

Lucy held up her stuffed animal. “We hungry!”

I grinned at her, still shocked anyone couldn’t love that little face. She was pure sunshine.

“What are you hungry for?” I asked, already knowing the answer.

“Pandcakes!”

I laughed. We had “pandcakes” every Sunday. They were a favorite for all of us.

The sound of metal crutches met my ears, and Evan appeared in the doorway. He regarded us with a grin. “Did I hear the word pandcakes?”

I stood. “You did. Come join us, and I’ll start them.”

“Bacon?” he asked hopefully.

Luckily, tips had been good again. “Yep.”

“Awesome.” He sat down beside Lucy. “Hey, Lucy-loo. What’s shaking?”

She giggled, and my heart melted watching them. They were like brother and sister. He taught her video games, ever patient with her disability, and she was getting better all the time. He read to her, watched TV shows he had no interest in because she loved them. He watched over her. She looked at him as if he hung the moon, not caring that he walked with crutches or that outside the house he was so shy he could barely speak. She waited by the window every day for the school bus to drop him off, not caring it took him a long time to get down the steps or hobble up the sidewalk. Here, he was her Evan, and she adored him.

And I adored all of them.

An odd thought jiggled in my head as I gathered the makings of our Sunday morning feast.

How would Ronan react to them?