Dark Devotions by Nichole Greene

11

OLIVIA

“Livvy.”I feel two arms pulling me away from Sawyer’s chest. Nolan’s lips press against my forehead. “I see you two had fun last night. In my bed, no less.”

I open one eye with a grumble and look up at him. His auburn hair is windblown, and his cheeks are rosy from the cold. Rays of sun shine against the wall, so it can’t be too late.

“What time is it?” I ask around a yawn.

“A little after eight.”

“Fuck outta here,” Sawyer mumbles with his face burrowed under his arm.

“My room, man. Maybe I want to join you.”

A look passes between them when Sawyer opens one eye. They hold eye contact for a minute before Sawyer sits up, the covers falling to his waist. He’s magnificent in the full light of day with his strong swimmer’s body.

“I’m going to go shower,” Sawyer tells us.

I look over at Nolan as he watches Sawyer get up from bed, completely naked and unashamed by his nudity. Nolan doesn’t look away but instead there’s a lingering look of appreciation.

I’m tempted to ask Nolan what that was about, but part of me says it’s not my business. I can’t lie to myself though, I am very curious. Have they been together? The thought of seeing their bodies come together in passion makes heat flood to my core.

“What’s got you looking all flushed?”

“Have you,” I pause to swallow nervously, “do you and Sawyer…”

“Hook up?” he supplies. “Not just the two of us, but we do have threesomes together, and we’re not afraid of getting close, if that’s where your mind was wandering.” He smirks down at me. “Besides, have you seen that ass? Could bounce a quarter off it.”

A few seconds pass while I let that all settle in, and then I find myself giggling. I’ve missed these types of light-hearted moments. My skin warms, and my eyes prick with a swell of gratitude for Nolan and his antics. He’ll always be there to lean on and ready with a dirty or inappropriate joke to whisper in my ear.

“Are you just going to lay naked in my bed all day, or are we going to get up and have some fun?” His eyes travel the length of my body, barely covered by the sheet. “Not that I mind too much.”

“What kind of fun?”

“You’ll see after breakfast. Dress warm.” With a wiggle of his brows, he’s off the bed and disappearing down the hall.

I look down the hall with a slight smile lifting the corner of my lips before wrapping the sheet around me and heading to the bathroom. I take a quick shower, replaying last night in my mind. Last night with Sawyer was incredible. It felt like we connected in a way I didn’t think still existed. I felt every single one of the emotions that he had, and I’m certain he felt mine. Just like the night before with Lake and how with every drive his hips I felt his desire to protect me.

A part of me recoils with that thought. That I went from Lake’s bed to Sawyer’s in the span of one day. I can hear Tripp in my mind, calling me every single terrible name. He would probably kill me.

When I pull myself from those dark thoughts and focus on the feelings and connections with the guys, I’m put at ease. Never once did they ever make me feel like I needed to choose between them. Even as teenagers, they always just shifted in and out of the role I needed them in. It was so hard to understand and confusing.

Now that I’m back here with them, it feels like everything is slipping back into place like before. With them, there is no shame. Hell, Nolan literally walked in on Sawyer and me in his bed and didn’t even bat an eye at it. I’m confused and sorting through a lot of emotions and thoughts, but my place with Nolan, Sawyer, and Lake is not one of them. Grant is a different story.

I dress in another pair of fleece-lined leggings and one of Nolan’s hoodies. Hopefully this is warm enough for whatever shenanigans he has planned for us today. There’s a box of doughnuts on the table between him and Sawyer when I join them for breakfast. Their conversation comes to an abrupt halt as soon as they see me. I take a seat and Nolan sides a couple of bottles of pills toward me.

“Iron and a multivitamin, orders from the doc,” he says with a smile.

I pop the box of pastries open and choose an apple fritter and take both pills with a gulp of coffee. I bite into the fritter, closing my eyes at the perfect blend of sweet dough, tart apple, and spicy cinnamon. I never would have been allowed such an indulgent treat with Tripp. “What are you two talking about?” I ask after savoring another bite.

“Last night,” Sawyer says after a look passes between them. “One of the cameras on the northeast edge of the property was tampered with. There’s no solid proof of anyone, but we believe you saw someone.”

“Do you think it was Tripp?” I try not to show the fear that seizes me, but I know my hand is trembling.

“No. We think they were probably here trying to find something about one of us. Tripp has eyes on him right now twenty-four seven. He’s not getting within a mile of you without one of us knowing,” Nolan says.

“And you won’t be without one of us at all times anytime soon,” Sawyer adds.

I nod slowly. If I were being fully honest, I’d tell them that level of protection feels overwhelming. I didn’t escape one cage to step into another, no matter how well intentioned. I bring the fritter up to my lips, and this time it isn’t sweet, it tastes like ash on my tongue.

“Why is someone breaking into your remote estate? What are they looking for?” I ask.

“Who knows?” Nolan says with a shrug.

“Don’t worry about it,” Sawyer says as he takes a bite of his doughnut.

I look back and forth between them, my irritation at their blow off growing. They either don’t think I can handle whatever they have going on in their lives, or they don’t trust me. The latter stings the most.

I know for a fact I have never done a thing to make them question my loyalty or trust. I don’t understand why they feel the need for such secrecy. The old Olivia, their Olivia, would be calling them out on this bullshit. But maybe I am wrong for wanting to be included. I did marry someone else. I did leave them all behind. Maybe they do have a legit reason not to trust me.

“Livvy?”

I look up at Nolan’s concerned hazel eyes.

“What’s wrong? You went quiet on us.”

“Nothing.” I force a smile I don’t feel. “I’m just tired. What are we doing today?” I figure a subject change is order.

“Oh,” his eyes light up, “we have a full snow day of fun planned. Drink that coffee, and we’ll go outside to start.”

* * *

“Sawyer, over there.” Nolan points to one pile of snowballs. “Livvy over here.” He points in the opposite direction to another pile of snowballs. “I’ll take the pile in the middle. Whoever stays the driest wins.”

“What do we win?” Sawyer asks.

“Hmmm.” Nolan scratches his chin and looks at each of us. “That’s a great question.”

“How about whoever wins chooses everything for the rest of the day? What we do. What we eat. What we watch.”

“Yeah.” Nolan’s grin is slow and devious. “I like it.”

“I’ll like it even more when I win.” Sawyer’s smile is just as mischievous. “Sorry Liv, you’re going down.”

“We’ll see about that.” I smile back at them in challenge as I walk to my pile of snowballs. “I might surprise you.”

“I don’t know, Lake told me you can’t aim for shit. Actually,” Nolan says, turning to Sawyer. “Neither can you.”

“Snowballs and bullets are two totally different things.” Sawyer stands tossing a snowball up and down in his gloved palm. “You’re going down, Thorne.”

“That’s the plan,” Nolan says with a heated look at me.

I’m so glad that the wind has already turned my exposed skin rosy because I can feel the blush from my forehead down to my toes. I’ve forgotten how blatant and crass Nolan can be when it comes to his flirtation and desire for me. I’ve also forgotten how much I love it.

“On three,” Sawyer says and starts counting down.

I shriek and cover my face when the countdown ends and they both take aim at me. Their laughter fills the air as they continue to pelt me with snowballs. I finally reach down and grab some of my supply and start throwing. Unfortunately for me, Nolan was correct, I have awful aim and need to dart closer to land any.

They’re currently focused on each other, so I run up to Nolan while his back is turned and shove two snowballs down the collar of his shirt. His yelp of surprise has me laughing like I haven’t laughed in years. It also sends me running to hide behind Sawyer.

He clearly underestimates my level of sneakiness because he doesn’t notice when I reach down and grab two of his snowballs. Nolan notices me going straight for Sawyer’s back and distracts him with an assault from the front. Sawyer also yells with surprise as the cold snow falls down his shirt, but he’s able to grab me around the waist before I can run away.

I burst into laughter as he takes a snowball from the ground and shoves it down the front of my shirt. The snow settles inside my bra sending goosebumps across my body. I can’t stop laughing though, even when Nolan grabs the back of my leggings and drops a snowball inside. He follows it up with smack, smashing the ball against my ass and making me gasp in between laughter.

“No fair!” I squeal when I see Nolan coming back for another round. “You can’t team up against me.”

“We like tag teaming,” Sawyer whispers against my neck as Nolan pushes into me from the back.

I still at the rasp in his voice and the feeling of being pressed between the two of them. Heat seeps through my body, and it’s not from their proximity. Then just as soon as I feel like I might overheat, they both crush snowballs over my head. With that, I effectively lose the fight, but in the end I think I might win. Especially as I watch them throw snowballs at each other until there are none left.

Nolan launches himself at Sawyer, taking him to the ground. They wrestle around like a couple of kids in a playground fight. Sawyer is stronger, but Nolan is faster, and in the end, speed wins out over strength. I walk over to help them up, and they pull me down to the ground between them where we make snow angels.

After a few minutes, Nolan leads us over to a hill with some sleds. I almost don’t want to go down the hill, it’s so stark white and sparkly in the sun. I can’t believe how great the weather has been for us up here. Snow overnight but bright blue skies during the day.

There are only two sleds, so sometimes I ride with Sawyer and sometimes with Nolan. It’s actually not too bad when I don’t have to haul the sled back up the hill. I’m starting to feel the effects of the wind and snow, especially the snow that’s dampened my clothes under the coat and winter gear I’m wearing.

Nolan looks at me at the bottom of the hill after our last ride and does a double take.

“Your lips are turning blue, Livvy. Let’s go in.”

“Sounds good.” I shiver.

“Sawyer can make us some hot chocolate while you change clothes.” Nolan smirks at Sawyer, clearly on a power trip having won the snowball fight. “Or you can take a bath or shower and warm that way first.”

“I’ll be fine just changing into something dry.”

We trudge back to the house, each of the guys carrying a sled under his arm that they prop against the side of the garage. I start to open the patio door, but I remember the fear from last night and stop just shy of it.

“I’ll go first,” Sawyer murmurs as he opens the door. “Wait for Nolan, just in case.”

“What’s up?” Nolan comes around the corner just in time to see the end of our exchange.

“I just got spooked remembering last night, nothing is wrong.”

“Understood.” He nods and wraps an arm around my shoulders before leading me inside. “We’ll all be together the rest of the day. How does leftover pizza sound for lunch?”

“It sounds perfect.”

He guides me back to his bedroom and starts stripping down as soon as he closes the door. I watch him out of the corner of my eye as he grabs the back of his collar and lifts the shirt over his head. I’ve always been mesmerized watching him do that, but now,all lean muscles and colorful ink, it’s even more fun to watch.

“Keep looking at me like that, and the only thing on the lunch menu is going to be you.” His eyes almost look golden in the light streaming through his bedroom window. He looks at me as I watch him unbutton his jeans and push them down his long legs. He has a tattoo on his thigh that I somehow missed in the past week.

“I love all your new tattoos,” I say sincerely.

“Just the new ones?” He winks.

“All of them.” I roll my eyes. “But I want to see the new ones up close.”

“We’ll take you on a tattoo tour tonight, then.”

“I’m down.”

“Do you have any new tattoos? New piercings?” he asks, watching me change now.

“Nope. Just the one you know about.” I have a little infinity design on my foot broken into four parts. I had it put on in college. One part for each of my guys. “I wanted to get one for my parents, but Tripp wouldn’t let me. He said they look too trashy. He actually wanted to get the one I do have lasered off.”

“Fuck him,” Nolan scoffs. “He’s such a pretentious asshole. I never liked him. I wish I would have been honest about that. It might have saved you.”

I walk over to him and grab his hands. “There is literally nothing you could have done to change the outcome of my life. I made my choices, right or wrong, but all the blame rests squarely on my shoulders.”

“None of the blame rests with you.” He all but growls the words. “You didn’t choose, nor did you deserve, what happened to you.”

I can only manage to nod my head. I don’t agree, but I don’t want to fight or talk about this when we’ve had such a fun day so far.

“I was told there would be hot chocolate,” I say as I pull one of his hoodies over my head.

“Subject change, eh?” He looks at me with an inscrutable expression on his face. “I’ll allow it this time.”

The next thing I know, I’m being slung over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry down the hall. He sets me down on the counter and starts preparing everything for the hot chocolate. We’re talking about what movies to watch when Sawyer joins us. We take our hot chocolate and leftover pizza to the media room.

Nolan picks a movie and starts it. We settle back to watch, me nestled between the two of them. Throughout the film, the guys take turns caressing me in different places, holding my hand or pulling me over to cuddle for a while. They seem to have no problem sharing me.

As the credits start to roll, Nolan looks over at me and then Sawyer. “Did you know Livvy was wondering if we ever shared women?”

“Not at all what I asked.” Pink stings my cheeks.

“Oh yeah? She seemed curious with me, too.”

“I was thinking we should show her how we like it.”

“Definitely show her how we’ve grown.”

“Exactly.” Nolan points at Sawyer. “Our skills have definitely improved.”

They advance like predators. Part of me wants to run. Who am I? All the times Tripp called me a whore or a slut for wearing something without his approval or smiling too long at another man come rushing back to me. As his words begin rolling on their endless loop inside my brain, I decide I have two options. To give in, hide myself away, and let him win. Or, I can take what I want like I used to. I can begin to live life on my terms again, starting with the men who would do anything for me.

“What do you think, Liv?” Sawyer asks.

I swallow. “What did you have in mind?”