Dark Devotions by Nichole Greene
16
OLIVIA
“Here you go,one glass of prosecco for the lady.” Sammy sets my drink down with a flourish. “Please let me know if you need anything else, although I’m sure Grant will be back down here soon.”
“Thank you,” I say with a warm smile.
I turn my attention back to the stage where a woman with curves for days practices marking her routine. I feel a dash of envy as her body sways with the music. I can already tell her number is going to be my favorite. I’ve never had a curvy body, even when I was at a healthy weight. My body is more athletic and angular even when it’s not half starved and emaciated.
I hear Grant’s voice as he walks back into the lounge. His loud laughter startles me, though it shouldn’t, his laugh was always my favorite. It’s this deep, rumbly, joyous sound only matched in beauty by the masculine perfection of his face. I peek around the corner to see that the source of his laughter is Sammy. Even from across the darkened room, I can see the crinkles of laughter in the corner of Grant’s green eyes. Sammy says something else, and Grant's head tilts all the way back, his Adam’s apple bobbing with each guffaw.
He’s so beautiful it hurts to look at him. He’s dressed in a perfectly tailored Armani suit but with no tie and the top two buttons undone. He’s the only one of the guys who doesn’t have any tattoos or piercings, but his body is a work of art in and of itself. Broad shoulders that taper down to narrow hips, all of it covered in skin with a perpetual tan. Plus, his stupidly handsome face with its sharp jawline and regal nose. If any of my guys were meant to be famous, it’d be Grant.
He’s not one of your guys though. Pussy is pussy, remember.
A bolt of pain stabs me in the chest, piercing the thin shield of protection I’ve built around Grant. He used to be like that with me. He used to hold me in his arms and laugh with me until we were both gasping for air. I didn’t realize how much I missed that until now, seeing him give it to others so freely. His knuckles rap the bar twice before he turns and starts heading my way.
I slide back quickly, so he doesn’t see me watching him. I focus on the bubbles in my prosecco as I blink back unwelcome tears. The last thing I need is for him to look at me and see how sad I am.
He drops a folder on the table and slides into the booth beside me. The smell of his woodsy cologne hits me, and I momentarily let my eyes close as I drag the scent into my nose. He scooted all the way over to me again, I can feel his warmth against my exposed thigh.
Clearly all the sex I’ve had over the past week is going to my head because all I want to do is open my legs wide for him. I still remember the first time he touched me, it was the first time anyone ever had.
“Liv.” Grant holds his hand out for me. “Come dance with me. Lake’s been hogging you all night.”
I look up at him and smile as I take his hand. He leads me out onto the ballroom floor where Prom is being held. A few of the girls shoot me dirty looks as I pass. I can’t blame them. I showed up with the four most popular guys at school, and none of them have any interest in dancing with any other girl.
Grant leads me to the middle of the dance floor, we’re surrounded by other sweaty teenage couples, some are drunk, some are making out, some might even be having sex for all I know. He smiles down at me as he pulls me flush against him. The song is slow, so I wrap my hands around his neck, and his land on my hips, searing me through the sequined fabric of my dress.
“Do you trust me?” he asks me with a rogue smile.
“Yeah, you know I do.” I roll my eyes at his mischievous look.
“Put your head on my shoulder, and if you need to scream,” he winks, “bite my neck instead.” He drags me even closer and moves us to a dark corner on the dance floor, one of his hands trapped between us.
I gasp in surprise as I feel his hot palm at the apex of my thighs. He strokes the crease of my thigh slowly, causing me to drag in ragged breaths. My fingers dive into his silky blonde hair as his finger slides under my panties.
“I didn’t get to be your first kiss. Can I be the first to do this for you?” he whispers in my ear as he teases the soft curls under his finger.
I want to say yes, but we’re in a room full of people. “What if someone sees?”
“No one is going to notice. I’ll always keep you protected, Liv.” He gives me a light kiss, pausing just long enough to run his tongue over the seam of my lips. “Although I don’t really give a fuck if anyone sees.”
He shifts his hips against me, managing to give him more space and me more coverage. I can feel his hardness pressed against my hip. When I look up and meet his green eyes with my brown, I give him a nod of consent. His shoulders shudder as he tightens his hand on my hip briefly.
His eyes hold mine as he slides his finger over my clit. I tug on his hair and bite my lip as he increases the pressure. I rest my forehead in the crook between his shoulder and his neck, gasping at the pressure growing between my legs. I’ve touched myself before, but this is different. I can’t tell if it’s because he’s the one doing it or it’s the danger of getting caught.
He groans as he slides two fingers inside my pussy, and I immediately clench down around him. He murmurs for me to relax, and he starts pumping them in and out of me slowly. Then he finds a spot that makes my knees buckle, his arm locking around my back is the only thing keeping me upright.
I cry out as the orgasm starts to build, and he closes his lips over mine, swallowing my ecstasy. He deepens the kiss as my walls flutter around his constantly moving fingers.
“What are you thinking about that has you so flushed?” Grant is looking at me with mild curiosity.
My cheeks flame as I search for some plausible explanation. “I was just thinking about one of the dancers I saw practicing.”
He studies me for a minute, his eyes drilling into me for the truth. “It’s good to see that some things never change. You’re still a terrible liar, Liv.”
“Well, honesty isn’t a negative trait,” I snap. “Despite how underwhelming you find me.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?” His face jerks to mine. “You have no idea how I find you.”
“Oh please,” I scoff and look away, terrified he’ll see the tears beginning to pool in my eyes. “Pussy is pussy. That was pretty fucking clear.”
“Liv.” I feel his entire body deflate beside me. “I shouldn’t have said that. I didn’t mean it.”
“You don’t have to lie, Grant.” I look over him now, letting him see the hurt. “You have been cold since the moment I came back. It’s okay, I didn’t even know what to expect when I sought you guys out. You don’t have to be happy I’m back.”
“No.” He angles his body toward mine. “You really don’t understand. I am happy, I’m fucking ecstatic that you are back with us. There’s just some other stuff.” His warm hand lands on my thigh and squeezes.
I freeze, well aware that my panties are probably still damp with arousal from the memories I was just thinking back on. I can’t help but wish his hand was just a little bit higher, but I also treasure what little dignity I still have. I’m not going to beg for anything from someone determined to push me away.
“It’s fine. I’m not here to ingratiate myself into your life. We’re adults, right? We can be coolly pleasant to one another when we’re together.”
He grabs my hand and drags me from the booth aggressively. I try to shake off his grip, but he turns and looks back at me with fire raging in his eyes.
“Stop fighting me.” His voice is barely controlled, and his eyes are passionately inflamed.
He tugs me through a door that says ‘Staff Only’. We walk down a hallway passing dressing rooms and into a stairwell. He goes up, nodding curtly at a man walking down but not stopping to address him.
Two seconds later, we’re in an office with his name on the door. He slams it closed behind me and locks it. I should be scared as he stalks toward me like a predator. He pursues me across the office until my back hits the cool class of a window.
“I don’t want to be ‘coolly pleasant’ to you. You don’t get it.” He stands in front of me, his control within an inch of breaking. His arms cage me in on either side.
“You’re right. I don’t.” I fling my hands out to the side in frustration. “Why don’t you clue me in instead of treating me like an irritation one minute and looking at me like you could eat me the next? It’s fucking exhausting, Grant, and I don’t have that much energy to expend for games.”
“You’re going to hate me.” He drops his forehead to mine, his chest rising and falling with shallow breaths. “I don’t want you to hate me.”
“Grant,” I bend, so he’s forced to look at me, “I could never. Even at my most confused and hurt and angry, I could never hate you. Just like I couldn’t hate Nolan, Lake, or Sawyer.”
“Yeah.” He pulls away and laughs bitterly as he sits on his desk. “Don’t say that until you hear the truth.”
“Tell me, then,” I say as I wrap my arms around my stomach.
He puts his face in his palms and nods while taking a few deep breaths. “I’m the reason you met Tripp. I brought him over to the apartment and that’s how he found you.”
“Grant.” I step between his knees. “I’m well aware of how I met Tripp. I fail to see how that is some earth-shattering revelation.”
“I pushed you together. I was jealous and insecure of the changing dynamics of the group. I could sense Nolan getting territorial over you. I didn’t want a crack to form in our friendship.”
“I don’t hate you for that.”
“I knew he was a shitty guy, Liv. I grew up spending time at his house in California. He always talked about women in a negative and psychotic way. I shouldn’t have encouraged his interest in you.”
“Did you know he was going to abuse me?” I ask running my hands up and down his firm thighs. “Did you know he was going to rape me?”
“Of course not.” He puts his hands over mine. “But it doesn’t make me any less responsible, does it? Every tear he made fall, every bruise he gave you, every time he,” a tortured sob tears from his chest, “every time he raped you, it might as well have been me. I didn’t protect you. I’m just as bad as he is. Worse even.”
His shoulders jerk up and down as he cries. I put my hand on his cheek and try to wipe a tear away, but he shoos me away.
“Don’t try to comfort me. I don’t deserve it. When I saw those bruises on your body I wanted to die. I wanted to rage. I wanted to murder Tripp. Do you understand? I want to torture him. I want to watch him bleed and cling to life. I want to kill him with my own hands and watch the life drain from him. And I know how to do it. All four of us do. We’ve killed. Did you know that?”
His face is hard when he looks up. “We’re not the good men you think we are. We’re dangerous. We’re criminals. We’re ruthless. Lake kills all the time. Nolan does almost as often. Sawyer and I have stolen money. Sure, we had our reasons—good reasons—but it doesn’t change the fact that we did it. We don’t lose sleep about it either.”
“Okay.”
“Okay?” he parrots.
“Okay.” It’s my turn to cage him in, so I plant one hand on either side of his hips. “Listen to me carefully, Grant. You did not hit me. You did not abuse me. You did not rape me. Tripp did. I want to watch him die. I want to watch you exact revenge for me. I want to see his blood coat the floor and walls like mine did. He killed my parents, and he broke me. I’m not the girl I used to be.
“I’m darker. I’m distrustful of everyone but you four. The goodness in me was killed a long time ago. You aren’t going to taint me with the things you have done or things you plan to do.”
His eyes darken as he looks at me, really looks at me, for the first time since I’ve been back. “You know what I want to do to you? I want to erase every lingering memory of him from your body. I want to lick every slap away. I want to kiss every cut. I want to worship every bruise. I want to fuck you until the only thing your body knows is how to be fucked with love and reverence.”
My thighs rub together as his words electrify me. Then he sets my soul on fire.
“And I want the whole world to know it. Three seconds to put your hands on the window, or I’m going to think you don’t want this.”
I don’t even think as I spin back to the window, placing my hands on the cold glass.
“Remember when I finger fucked you for the first time at Prom our junior year? You were worried about people seeing and knowing?”
“Yes,” I say as I rub my thighs together. “That’s what I was thinking about earlier.”
“I hope you’re over the fear of being seen.” His hands grab my dress and rip it over my head. “Because I’m going to fuck you in front of this window for the whole world to see who you belong to.”
My nipples harden as the cool air kisses my skin. The sound of my hurried breaths and Grant’s shirt falling to the floor are the only sounds in the room. I feel Grant at my back. His hands reach around to cup my breasts, twisting and pulling on my nipples until a shocked gasp escapes my lips. I arch my back, pressing my chest into his hands as I let my head fall back on his shoulder. He trails hot, wet kisses up and down and my neck as one of his hands moves down my belly.
His finger dips into the waistband of my panties and pushes them down, first over one hip and then the other. I whimper when he drops to his knees behind me and pulls apart my feet. His fingers drag through my wet folds as he kisses from the back of my knee, up my thigh, to my ass and back down the other side.
My body seizes in pleasure when his tongue takes the place of his fingers. He circles my clit in slow, meticulous circles until he’s sucking the bundle of nerves into his mouth with a force that makes me cry out his name. I can feel him smile against me as he goes back to the circles.
He breaks away from me with a growl right as my orgasm starts to swell. I feel the heat of his chest against my back as he positions his cock at my entrance. He pauses and tightens his grip on my hips, giving me a chance to say no. Instead, I press my ass against his groin in invitation.
A sound of deep desire rumbles through his chest, and he slams into me, stretching me over his hard length. He sets a punishing pace. His hips pound into my flesh, our skin slapping together, and we both murmur a string of obscenities. He’s the only thing I can think of as my walls tremble around him, milking his cock. A second later, I feel him pulse inside me, filling me with hot ropes of cum.
The only thing holding my limp and boneless body up is the arm he has wrapped around my waist. His heart is pounding in his chest.
“I can feel your heartbeat against my back,” I whisper with a smile.
“I can feel yours around my cock,” he says, rocking his pelvis against me. “Give me five minutes, and we’ll do this again.” He lifts me into his arms and carries me over to his chair where he sits and places me in his lap. “You okay?” he asks quietly. “I was kind of rough.”
“I’m more than okay.” I shift so that I’m straddling him. He’s shirtless, and his pants are still unbuttoned. I run my hands over his chest and up to his shoulders. “I don’t blame you for anything. I need you to know that.” My eyes bounce back and forth between his, willing him to accept that truth.
He nods after a minute, and I blow out the breath I was holding. I lift my hand to his jaw, running my thumb over the corner of his full lips. I startle when he turns quickly and bites it with a playful growl and then I quickly dissolve into giggles. This is my Grant. Playful, silly, warm.
“I never thought I’d get to hear that again.” He pulls me closer, so my core is back over his already hard again cock.
“Hear what?”
“You giggle for me—with me. It’s always been my favorite sound.” His admission is so similar to the thought I had earlier it leaves me breathless. He cups my face in his large palms and pulls my face to his. His lips graze mine tentatively. I open mine with sigh, and he sweeps his tongue along mine. We kiss and explore each other like the reunited lovers we are.
I wrap my hand around his cock and pump slowly. I smile against his lips when he playfully bites mine. He lifts me by my hips and lowers me onto his dick. I move my hands back to his knees and begin undulating my hips, grinding against him while we look into each other’s eyes.
As the tension builds deep in my core, he splays his hand across my pelvis, his thumb rubbing my clit to speed my orgasm. He dips his mouth to my chest, taking one of my small pink buds into his mouth and sucking. The whole time he plays my body like an instrument I keep riding his cock, slowly increasing the pace as he swells inside me. I feel a surge of triumph when he comes first, allowing myself to fall right after him.