Dark Devotions by Nichole Greene

18

OLIVIA

Grant broughtme back to his place last night and kept his word about fucking every reminder of Tripp out of my system. He clearly has some sort of voyeurism and exhibitionism kink because he loves fucking me against windows and mirrors.

Luckily his bedroom walls also do that opaque thing, so I don’t wake him when I get out of bed and go into the kitchen to make some coffee. I’m puttering around the kitchen trying to find everything when Sawyer lets himself in.

“Good morning,” he says as his blue eyes drink me in. I’m only wearing the shirt that Grant wore out last night and a pair of lacy lavender underwear. I feel the heat of his gaze as it slowly trails up and down my body. A slow grin stretches his lips. “I see things with you and Grant went well.”

My cheeks burn and unease swims inside me. He’s clearly not upset, but should I be doing this? Do I deserve to have four men taking care of me, protecting me, worshipping me? Shame washes over me.

Sawyer crosses the kitchen to me. He cups my face in his hands and tilts my head back until our eyes meet. “Hey.I didn’t mean anything by it. I think it’s great.” He taps my temple. “What’s going on up here?”

“I’m worried I don’t deserve this. That the four of you and everything you’re doing is too much. Who do I think I am to bask in the attention you all give me? Why are you even helping me?” My stomach knots as I feel the blood pumping through my veins.

Grant walks out of the bedroom with a smile on his face that drops as soon as he sees me. He strides across the open space and stops right beside Sawyer.

“What’s wrong?” he asks, worry wrinkling his forehead.

My breathing is becoming shallow as panic seizes my chest.

“Panic attack,” Sawyer answers.

Grant immediately steps up and helps me center my thoughts by going through the five senses. Sawyer has me regulate my breathing with his. Together, the three of us get me back under control, and Sawyer takes over making coffee. Grant pulls me to his chest and wraps his arms around me, kissing my forehead.

“Explain what happened and how that was triggered,” he commands as he leads me to his couch.

I take a shaky breath before answering. “Sawyer came in and mentioned that we clearly had mended everything.” I indicate my clothing as evidence. “Then I was thinking about how selfish it is for me to have all four of you taking care of me and,” I pause unsure of how to say all the fucking, “stuff. My thoughts kind of spiraled.”

“Stuff?” He wiggles his eyebrows. “What stuff?”

“Don’t tease her right now.” Sawyer sets down a cup of coffee in front of me. “I teased her and sent her into a panic attack.” His face is pale when I look up at him.

“It wasn’t your fault. You couldn’t have known my mind would go there. I don’t even know when it’s going to happen.”

“I really think you should give the therapist Dr. Lawson referred you to a call.” Sawyer sets his hand on my thigh and draws absentminded circles with his thumb. “Even just a preliminary appointment.”

“I’ll think about it.” The silence that follows my lie hangs heavy in the air. I won’t think about it, not yet. I don’t think I’m ready to open that wound, especially in front of a stranger. I take a sip of my coffee and lean back on the couch, tucking my legs to the side. “What are you two doing today?”

“I have a meeting with a prospective partner about a new restaurant,” Grant says. “I was actually hoping you could come along, Sawyer. I need your opinion on him. Something feels off about the way he’s pursuing our partnership.”

“If something feels off, maybe you shouldn’t even entertain an offer from him. Surely you don’t need his money to make it work,” I say.

“In our world, diplomacy is important. You don’t want to make unnecessary enemies.”

“But if they’re already an enemy,” Sawyer chimes in. “You want to keep them close.”

“We always take someone else with us into any dicey situation. That’s why Lake and Nolan are together right now. Plus, Sawyer acts as general counsel for my personal businesses. It makes sense for him to join me.”

“Will you be okay here until Lake and Nolan get back in?” Grant stands and stretches beside me, his blue Columbia sweatpants riding dangerously low. I want to reach out and drag my fingertips through his exposed happy trail and over the ridges of his lower abdominals. He’s as trim as Nolan, with similar long, lean muscles.

When I finally drag my eyes up to his face, I see a carnal hunger stamped all over it. He reaches down and drags his thumb across my lower lip before sliding it into my mouth. I smile right before I bite the tip, loving the way his emerald eyes darken with the action. The animalistic side of me is tempted to pull his pants down a bit, exposing his half hard cock, so I can take it between my lips.

He bends down and puts his lips tomy ear. “Naughty girl, I know what you’re thinking. If I didn’t have a meeting to get to, I would let you. This body is yours now.” He kisses my cheek and winks before walking off down to his bedroom.

I look over at Sawyer when I lose sight of Grant and see him with a huge smile. His stupidly perfect face gives me butterflies and makes me want to hide my face simultaneously. He’s already dressed in a light gray suit with a white Oxford shirt. His tie is a gray and blue paisley print that makes his eyes pop.

“Do you want to stay in the glass palace or come back to my place today while we’re gone?” he asks.

I giggle at his name for Grant’s place. It is a fitting description. “I think I’d be a little more comfortable in your place.”

“Less of a fishbowl.”

“Exactly.” I smile at him briefly before becoming serious again. “Are you guys really okay with this arrangement?”

“I can’t speak for everyone, but I know that Nolan and I are happy with it.”

“Do you all,” I pause as I try to find the right words.

“Hook up?” he supplies.

“Yeah,” I look at him out of the corner of my eye. “I know you and Nolan have threesomes but does anyone else join?” My skin burns as the question slips from my lips.

“Look at me, Liv.” He tucks some of my hair behind my ear and waits until I look at him. “You don’t have to hide from me, and there’s nothing off limits to ask, okay?”

I nod.

“Sometimes Lake joins in group activities but generally it’s just Nolan and me.”

“Okay.”

“We will stop if you aren’t comfortable with it. It’s not something any of us need.”

“To be honest,” I swallow nervously, “I liked it. I liked it a lot.”

“Then the three of us will keep doing what feels natural.”

He pulls me onto his lap, positioned so I’m straddling him. “You don’t have to worry about any of us thinking less of you for enjoying sex with us. None of us will ever judge you for seeking pleasure in our arms.”

He pulls me down to his lips for a long, sensual kiss. I groan into his mouth as he slides his hand under my shirt and palms my breasts gently. His soft and teasing touches are a big contrast from the hard and rough touches from Grant last night and this morning. I love everything about both approaches. I don’t know how long we sit like that, making out like we’re teenagers again.

“Okay, break it up.” Grant chuckles as he comes out of the bedroom, he’s got a suit on as well. It’s black on black, with a shoulder holster and two guns. The alarm I’m feeling must show on my face because he stops mid stride. “It’s okay, just a precaution.”

I open Sawyer’s suit jacket and see he’s wearing a single shoulder holster. “Is this normal?” I close his jacket back up and step off his lap.

“Yes.” Grant comes over to hug me. “We always carry protection.”

“I have your gun in my apartment, it’s on the kitchen island.” Sawyer tells me. “You’ll need to have it near, even though our level is secured. Don’t answer the door for anyone either.”

I nod as I walk into the room with my clothes and grab a hoodie and some leggings to put on really quick. I know that I have clothes I can change into over Sawyer’s place when I shower later, so I don’t grab anything else. I don’t particularly like guns. I don’t like having one with me, and I certainly don’t like the thought of the guys having them, but I guess this is the world they live in.

I still don’t fully understand what they do exactly. Obviously, they’re doing illegal and dangerous things. It can’t be the mob or a gang, but there’s something amiss. I walk back out to Sawyer and Grant giving them a closer look with a more critical eye.

I can’t see their guns, even with the slim tailoring of both their suits. If I hadn’t seen the holsters, I never would have known. Sawyer is an inch or two taller than Grant and has a broader build, his attention to every detail makes him look perfectly polished and suave, not at all dangerous. Grant has a bit of a wild, unkempt look about him. His eyes are always hard until he smiles and that smile of his is more dangerous than any gun ever could be.

I follow Sawyer into the hall and over to his door. He unlocks and swings it open for me before pulling me to him for another deep and languid kiss. I melt against him as he lulls me into a feeling of safety. All too soon, he’s pulled away with a snarl.

Grant grabs me by the neck, his fingers firm but gentle as he pushes me back against the wall. His kiss is hard and demanding, taking everything I have within me to give him. The hand that isn’t wrapped around my neck kneads my hip to keep me from grinding my pelvis against his. When he finally gets his fill, he rests his forehead against mine.

“Be smart. Stay inside Sawyer’s apartment and don’t open the door for anyone. Lake and Nolan should be here in a couple hours.”

“I won’t go anywhere,” I promise them both.

“Bye Liv, help yourself to anything.” Sawyer gives me a soft smile as he gets on the elevator.

“Lock the door,” Grant says as the elevator doors close.

I walk into the apartment and flip the deadbolt to lock it. Right after I do, I get a text message from Grant, asking for visual proof that I’m locked away inside Sawyer’s place. I fight the urge to get sassy with him, this is the first time I’ve been alone without one of them in the time I’ve been back. I’m uneasy, and I know they are as well.

I go into the living room and turn the television on to a morning news program to zone out. I haven’t found the courage to google myself and Tripp again to see if he’s said anything more about my disappearance. I wish I didn’t have to think about him ever again, but I know that’s wishful thinking. At the very minimum, I’ll have to deal with him through the divorce proceedings, which I know he won’t make easy.

I lie down on the couch, and before I know it, I’m drifting off to sleep. The quiet sounds of a cooking segment provide a peaceful white noise. I don’t know how long I’m asleep when the sound of the door trying to open wakes me. I immediately run to the kitchen, grab my gun from the island and hold it the way Lake showed me.

After another few seconds of struggle, the deadbolt flips. In my sleep-fogged brain, I’m torn between standing my ground and running. Then I see Nolan step through the door, a look of surprise flits over his face when he sees the gun, but then he grins.

“Good girl,” he says as he pushes the door open for Lake. “Look at that stance, Lake. After only one lesson.”

Lake comes in and looks at me appraisingly. “Most intruders won’t have a key,” he says with a short-lived smirk. “Did something happen to scare you?”

“No, I was just sleeping. You startled me, I think.”

“I’m glad your first instinct was to defend yourself.” Nolan comes over and wraps me in his arms. “I missed you,” he says into my hair.

“I missed you, too.” I want to ask about what happened while they were gone, but part of me doesn’t want to know. I move from Nolan’s arms to Lake’s. “I missed you, too.”

“Same.” He squeezes me in his huge arms and kisses my cheek. “We were successful. Do you want to know what happened or just that justice was delivered?”

“I don’t know.” I lean back against the counter, putting just the slightest distance between us. “On one hand, if you did actually kill him in cold blood, I don’t know if I want to hold that knowledge. On the other, I feel like I need to understand who you guys are and your motivations for doing what you do. Especially when you’re doing illegal things.”

“The only motivation you need to know about, is protecting you.” Nolan steps up beside Lake. “We will avenge you, bringing forth the hammer of retribution on your behalf without giving anything a second thought.”

“I do want you to know that we never target anyone who isn’t doing something wrong.” Lake looks at me intently, his brown eyes a multifaceted molasses brown today.

“Who decides what is wrong?”

“We do,” they both answer at the same time.