Dark Devotions by Nichole Greene

4

SAWYER

Seething.I am so furious I’m seeing spots. I knew she had been beaten and abused by that piece of shit West Coast fucker, but seeing evidence of it all over her body has me almost over the edge. We all decided after she fell asleep on the couch to be careful with her, not to push too hard for answers. I hope I didn’t scare her with the intensity of my anger.

Dr. Lawson walks out of the room and down the hall to me, a stern look on her face. “You.” She points at me. “Have to be gentle with her, emotionally and physically. Do not push that girl.”

“Did she tell you anything about what happened to her?”

“HIPPA laws prevent me from disclosing that information.”

I snort derisively. She breaks laws all the time for us. “As if you care about that.”

“I do when it comes to an abused woman who clearly doesn’t understand that she might have escaped an abusive relationship, but jumped right into the snake pit.” She walks to the front door. “I love you and the rest of the boys. I’ve been your doctor since you were a newborn, but the lives you lead are dangerous. She needs complete honesty from you if you are dragging her into it.”

I nod because she’s right. “What are her orders?”

“I gave her pain meds that she needs to take every four hours. I think she has a few broken ribs. Make sure she’s not lifting anything heavy or running. She needs to gain at least twenty-five pounds but do it slowly, don’t push food. I also recommend therapy as soon as she’s willing.”

“We can do all that.”

“Good. Call me if you think she’s in increasing pain or if anything seems worse.”

“Will do. Thank you.”

Closing the door behind my doctor, I wait patiently for Liv to shuffle into the living room. Her beautiful brown eyes are cast down to the floor, and it's clear she doesn't want to talk about the full extent of her trauma. I want to protect her. We need to know what happened, so we can form a plan, delivering justice in the only way we know how. We will destroy him. Slowly. Painfully. We will ruin him with as much bloodshed as possible if the truth is what I fear it to be.

“Liv,” I call her over quietly but firmly. As soon as she’s standing in front of me, I slowly lift my hands to her waist, tugging on the hoodie she’s wearing. “I’d like you to lift this and show me your stomach.”

After a slight hesitation, she pulls it up to where it just covers her breasts. I see the darkest bruising still coloring her side, right along her rib cage. Parts of the bruise are fading, but I can make out darker spots that I imagine are from knuckles. I try to breathe as quietly as possible because the longer I look at her emaciated, battered body, the more I want to call up the jet and fly to LA right now. I’ve never wanted to hurt another human the way I want to hurt Tripp.

I gently trace her older, yellowed bruises with my fingertips. I hold her hips and urge her to turn around for me, pushing the hoodie all the way up to her shoulders. Her back is just as bad, if not worse. Every ridge of her spine protrudes, and her ribs are clearly visible. I take a quick photo with my phone, but I’m glad I’m the only one here to see this. Nolan honestly might cry. Lake would have trouble keeping a lid on his temper. Grant would... I don’t even know what he’d do. He’s been off since the first text he sent me back yesterday.

“Liv,” I say softly as she turns back around. “I’m so sorry.”

“You didn’t do it,” she replies just as quietly. She lifts her hand to my hair and runs her fingers through it like she used to when we were kids. I forgot how much I love this feeling.

I lean forward and press a light kiss to her shoulder. My intention was to give her a comforting touch, but with the press of my lips to her delicate skin, something stirs within me. A feeling that I shoved deep down the day she came to us and said she was getting married.

All four of us had wanted her. From the first night she hung out with us. There was never any doubt that she fit in so well, her huge heart balancing out the darkness within us that we always shielded her from. That was part of why we decided to let her go. We had thought she’d be better off not being intertwined in our lives and the shady underbelly of the white-collar crime syndicate we are part of.

The amount of corruption, money, power, and greed that we deal with on a daily basis is beyond what anyone outside the organization can imagine. We own politicians. We bankroll judges. We have enough money to buy entire countries if we wanted to, with plenty to spare. The four of us work by our own moral code, one that exists in the murkiest depths of the gray area.

“I’m kind of hungry,” she says, pulling me from my thoughts. “Dr. Lawson also told me to eat with pain meds. Do you have any crackers or something?”

“Yeah, we can find something for you.” I lead her into the kitchen, showing her the pantry and where my housekeeper puts all the snacks.

She grabs a high protein granola bar and walks out to sit on one of the stools at the island. I grab a bottle of water and slide it across the counter to her. While she eats, I shoot a text off to the guys in our group chat.

Sawyer: Liv has a couple broken ribs. She needs to gain weight.

Nolan: I think we all knew that second one.

Sawyer: *sends picture of her back*

Grant: Fuuuuck

Lake: I’m going to fucking kill that cocksucking piece of trash

Nolan: Not if I get to him first

Sawyer: We’re going to need to get her to open up soon

Nolan: We can’t push her too fast though

Lake: She had nightmares last night. She walked into the kitchen for water and I scared her. We talked for a bit and then I dozed in the hall outside her door in case she had another one.

Nolan: I’m not planning on sleeping at my place anytime soon.

Lake: Same

I close the text chain and watch Liv out of the corner of my eye. She’s looking around the apartment as she takes small bites. Her eyes linger on a photo of the guys and I on a trip we took to Machu Picchu.

“We took that trip three years ago.” She turns her head to look at me. “Every year one of us picks a vacation to go on as a group.”

“Who picked that trip?”

“Grant.”

A small smile lifts her lips at that. It fills my chest with a warmth that has been missing so long I forgot what it felt like.

“What’s that little smile for?” I ask.

“He and I used to talk about going there someday. Did you know I lived in Peru for a year with my parents?” She looks over at me, her face totally relaxed.

“No, I didn’t.” A thought crosses my mind about her parents. They were never around. Her dad patented a medical procedure and two of the tools used to perform it. They lived off the money from the latter and volunteered with a traveling medical NGO. “How are your parents?” I’m genuinely curious as to how they didn’t realize what was happening to her.

Her forehead wrinkles in confusion as she looks at me. “They died three months after my wedding.”

“What?” Surprise has me raising my voice.

“Yeah, they were in a car accident outside Aspen. They were on a ski vacation. Tripp told you—” she stops as I shake my head.

“He most certainly did not tell us. Liv, we would have been there for you in a heartbeat.”

Tears fill her eyes as she looks down at her lap. I’m up and pulling her to me as her shoulders start to heave with sobs. She clings to me as she says through hiccups, “I was so hurt and confused about why you didn’t come.”

“I’m sorry. If we had known, we would have been there. We would have been blowing up your phone with calls and texts.”

“Oh God.” She pulls away and looks up at me with huge, haunted brown eyes. “He sent a plant and said it was from you four. It wasn’t even an oversight not telling you. It was deliberate.”

I don’t know what to say to console her. Tripp was always a slimy bastard. The only one who was remotely friendly with him was Grant, and that’s not surprising because they both had family ties in the same line of business.

Liv darts down the hall and into her room. I follow just in time to hear her throwing up into the toilet. I walk in behind her and hold her hair back. Tears stream down her cheeks as she retches. I wish with all my being that I could make this better for her. Unfortunately, we’ll probably continue to discover worse and worse truths as we dig into him.

I lead her to sink when she’s finished and use a warm washcloth to clean her face off. “Go lay down while I clean up here.”

“Oh, I can do it. You’ve already done so much.” Her voice is scratchy, and unshed tears still fill her eyes. But still she protests, slipping into the caretaker role she once had with all of us.

“No. This is nothing. I’ve cleaned up after Nolan on a three-day vacation bender.”

She stays put.

“Seriously, go. This is a five-minute, one-person clean up.”

“Okay,” she agrees after another second of hesitation. “Will you lay with me when you’re finished?” she asks quietly.

“Of course.” I watch her walk away before I go back to cleaning up. When I’m done, I walk out into the bedroom and find her laying on her side staring vacantly out of the window. I grab a blanket from the closet and lay down behind her.

“Is this okay?” I ask as I spoon her.

“Yeah.” Her voice is drowsy.

I cover us both up and curl my body around hers protectively. I can’t go back in time to save her, but I can do everything possible to give her comfort and safety now. I hold her as her breathing deepens and her body fully relaxes back against mine. Feeling her sleep next to me brings back all the memories of the nights she’d come over to study and then we’d end up passing out together in my bedroom.

“Liv, did you figure out the answers for section four?” I ask without looking up from the blurring lines of text in my Calculus textbook. “Why the fuck am I taking this course? I’m going to be an attorney.”

A soft snore mixed with a snort draws my attention away. When I look over at Liv, she’s passed out on her textbook. Her hair is up in a messy bun with pieces sticking out everywhere. I laugh when I notice the tiny puddle of drool beneath her mouth. It’s gross but also kind of cute.

When I check the clock, I see that it’s already two in the morning. It’s late. I’m not going to wake her up and make her walk across the lawns to her uncle’s house. I pull the covers down and walk back over to pick her up and put her in my bed. I get everything closed and turn off the lights before climbing in beside her.

The light from the moon cuts through the dark and illuminates her profile beside me. It’s creepy to stare at her like this while she is sleeping, but I can’t help it. Three years of friendship and love have carved a spot for her in my heart unlike anyone else. She’s so unassumingly beautiful. It’s effortless. She is always kind to everyone, she gives zero fucks about money, and she is so smart.

I can’t resist reaching over and tracing her full bottom lip with my thumb. I just want to know what it feels like. Is it as soft as it looks? My question is answered as I swipe across the soft expanse. Her eyes flutter a few times, like she’s coming awake, but I can’t pull my hand away. Part of me wants her to wake up, wants to taste her.

My dick swells when her eyes flutter again, and she gently kisses my thumb. She lets her head fall to the side, her brown eyes locking onto mine as she nuzzles her cheek against my palm. I swallow nervously as the air charges between us. I’ve kissed plenty of girls, but for some reason I’m incredibly nervous to kiss her.

She scoots toward me until our bodies are pressed face to face against each other and brings her thumb to my lips. I can feel her breathing quickening and bite back a moan when she shifts against me. I beg anyone above who’s listening not to let me come in my pants like I’ve never had a hard on.

“Sawyer,” she whispers as she drags her thumb from my lip and down my chin, “will you kiss me?”

I want to give a victory yell because HELL FUCKING YES I’ll kiss the shit out of her. Instead of that though, I just softly press my lips against hers, moving them slowly. Her lips part, and I take advantage, sweeping my tongue against hers. My dick throbs as we continue to kiss. The press of her body against mine while tasting her mouth is all it takes to make me lose it.

Kissing her is by far the highlight of my seventeen years on this planet, so much so that I don’t even care that there’s a mess in between us. She must not care either because she’s made no move to stop. I just want to kiss her for the rest of my life. Fuck school, fuck following in my dad’s footsteps, I just want this feeling forever.

The dip of the mattress behind me pulls me out of my memory. I know it’s Nolan because Lake would never plop down beside one of us like that and Grant is being weird as fuck about being near Liv. My instinct is confirmed when I look over my shoulder and see Nolan sitting there with a stupid ass grin on his face.

“Cuddle puddle with Livvy? Sign me up,” he whispers.

“Don’t wake her up, she just fell asleep.” I point toward the door and start to extricate my arm from beneath her. I roll off the bed as gently as possible and make sure she’s covered up and tucked in. “Did you get her a phone?”

“Yeah.” He slides it across to me. “I put everything on it. Our contact info, a tracker, a recording device.”

“So it’ll track everything, conversations, locations, what she looks at online, et cetera.”

“Yeah, she won’t be able to hide anything from us,” he says with a nod.

A part of me feels shitty for this, she’s never done anything to make us doubt her, but there are things happening in our world, and we need to make sure she’s not a plant, even unknowingly. Her trauma is clearly real, and we will be keeping her protected at any cost, but our business is important too.