Kinn by Mina Carter

8

He could feelSerena slipping away with each and every breath. Kinn’s throat thickened, the big warrior healer fighting back the prickle of tears as he held his precious omega wrapped in his arms. He savored the feeling, knowing it was the last time he would hold her as the sun rose. The last time he would wake with her in his embrace. That wasn’t strictly true. The last time he’d woken with her in his arms was yesterday because he hadn’t slept after carrying her to his bed. He hadn’t wanted to lose even a fraction of the time he had left with her to something as mundane as sleep.

So he’d held her. Parthed. Told her she was beautiful and that if she remembered nothing else, he wanted her to remember him with kindness.

It was all arranged. She could return to her people. To her sister. The Mother Superior would see to it. There was a letter for her, a declaration that she was under the Lord Overseer’s personal protection as well as his own. It should safeguard both her and their child.

A child he would never see.

Everything he was screamed in protest at what he was about to do, but he had no other choice. If he kept her close so he could protect her, she’d die. His beautiful, stubborn xarthing little star would let go of this life rather than accept her new role.

He had to let her go.

The sun rose, the golden light streaming through the window announcing his time was up. “Serena. It’s time to wake.” He kissed her cheek, allowing himself one last moment of tenderness when no one was there to witness it. Not even his omega. She hadn’t truly been aware of anything for a day now.

“You’re going to see your family soon. You want that. Don’t you?”

She didn’t answer him, no life in her eyes when she opened them. He smiled, the expression bittersweet as he reached out and brushed her cheek with the back of his knuckles. It was almost bearable if he told himself it was a visit. That she would be back in a few days. And in his mind, in another time or parallel universe, that’s what would happen. She would come back to him, happy and filled with sass and they would live out their lives together.

“Come on, little star,” he murmured, helping her up out of bed so she could get dressed. He locked each moment away in his memory and cherished the seconds until they were gone.

He opened the door to find Mother Superior waiting in the corridor outside. Her expression was different. Surprised. Sympathetic. Approving. He didn’t even rail at the last one. He didn’t need anyone’s approval, much less some beta human’s. But… he couldn’t bring himself to snarl at her and remind her of her place.

“Thank you,” the priestess said in a low voice. “I really didn’t think you would do it.”

He nodded, the movement sharp. “I am alpha. The wellbeing and happiness of my omega is all.”

She nodded. “I’m beginning to see that.”

“I don’t want to know where you’re taking her or when she will leave. I am trusting you to protect her.” He ground his teeth. “I may ask you that later. If things…” He shook his head. “Don’t tell me. In fact, I suggest you stay far away until I am gone.”

The beta nodded. “She will be safe. You have my word.”

“Then go before I change my mind.” He placed Serena’s hand in Ariadne’s and walked away. He barely managed to get the door closed before the change took him.

He embraced it. The door wouldn’t open again until Tane himself unlocked it. He needed to be alone. And if he destroyed everything he owned, it likely wouldn’t matter soon. He had never felt like this in his life. He never would again. She was his truly bonded omega, and without her, his mind would crack.

It had already started.

* * *

Hours later his memory returned in scattered patches. Lord Tane unlocked the door, no expression on his face as he recovered Kinn from the destroyed apartment. He drank with the lord and his brother warriors as they toured all of the bars in the citadel, downing pint after pint of ja’tyr. He drank so much that his body, usually able to metabolize any alcohol within minutes, couldn’t keep up. He was drunk, dead drunk, and… singing?

Each time he came to, he was in a different bar but with an awareness of the inexorable march of time. The night faded into the early morning and he took a deep breath as the last sweaty, smoke-filled bar faded into an alley and finally under the rising sun at the edge of the ritual arena at the center of the citadel.

He sighed, the breath leaving his lungs as he tilted his head up so the sunlight fell on his face. His last sunrise. The slight breeze washed over his cheeks. They were wet. It wasn’t raining.

Lord Tane stood in front of him. The overseer was dressed in full court regalia.

It was time. The Iratzi Tarn hadn’t been performed in… Kinn couldn’t recall the information. He’d known it once. Had even looked it up while he was making preparations, but it was gone now. His mind was unraveling. Facts and memories were vanishing like mist in the morning sun. If he didn’t do this today, nothing would be left of him by sundown. T’kinn the healer would be gone, consumed by the rage that boiled within him. Soon he’d become untethered. Later, he’d be unstoppable—a wild animal that would have to be put down.

This way was better. He would still have his honor, and Serena would have her life.

Jaxx and Warr stood on either side of him, supporting him and keeping him upright. He vaguely recalled they’d been doing it for hours, guiding him from bar to bar, leading the songs and toasts that celebrated his life. Every battle. Every honor. Even now, they were being marked in the fireworks being set off around the arena. The story had been told across the city. And now, it was time for it to end.

He straightened, looking Tane in the eyes.

“Are you ready, warrior?” Tane asked.

“I am ready.” Kinn thumped his fist to his bare chest. When had he lost his shirt? “It has been an honor to serve, my Lord Overseer.”

Tane’s expression tightened, a small muscle ticcing in the corner of his jaw. “The honor has been mine, brother,” he said, returning Kinn’s salute. “Go in peace. Enter the halls of Kranov and claim your reward.”

It was all Kinn could do to nod. Then he turned to walk to the stone block in the middle of the sand. Warriors lined the path, fists crashing against their chests as he made the final walk. Time skipped and he found himself kneeling, Jaxx and Warr at either shoulder. They held his blades out, the hilts wrapped in silver ribbon, the Tolathian color of mourning.

“For you, Serena, my love,” he whispered to himself as he reached out to take the blades, his mind clearer than it had been for hours. Just two strokes and he would free his omega.

Give his life so that she might live.

* * *

Serena sat at the window of the ratty little room she’d woken up in and watched the sky start to lighten over the city.

It was the first time in days she had woken willingly. Awareness had poured into her like water into an empty cup. She knew where she was. Who she was. And above all else, she knew she was free. Kinn had let her go.

Kinn.

The alpha who had claimed her, held her prisoner, and then for some reason she didn’t understand, had let her go. She touched a hand to her stomach. He’d let them go—his omega and their child.

The enormity of that stunned her. It didn’t make sense. Didn’t fit with anything she’d ever been told about alphas. They never let omegas go. Yeah, the little voice in the back of her head whispered, and they also passed omegas around between them, knotting them to death.

That hadn’t happened.

She frowned, biting at her lip. In fact, Kinn hadn’t been like any of the horror stories she’d heard. He’d been an arrogant, bossy asshole, sure. But he’d never done any of the things the other omegas whispered about. He’d said he was H’thor. That his clan weren’t like the other alphas. She hadn’t believed him. Now… maybe she’d have to reconsider that. It could be valuable information to share with her sister and the others.

“I still don’t understand why we’re waiting until morning. We could have been gone hours ago,” Max was arguing with Ariadne again.

“The gates are sealed. Do you want to risk your sister’s life trying to get her over the walls when she has documentation that will allow her to walk out the gate later today?” Ariadne’s voice was soft but firm.

Boots scuffed outside the door. “She’s getting better. You said so yourself. The moment she saw me she started coming back. I still can’t believe she’s pregnant. You’re sure?”

“I am.”

Fireworks flew up into the sky, the explosions loud enough to rattle the windows.

“Down!” Max was in the room in a second, racing to drag Serena away from the window. “We’re under attack!”

“Oh for heaven’s sake. Calm down, Max.” Ariadne sighed from the doorway. “It’s just fireworks. That’s all. Not everything is an attack.”

Max paused, her hands still around Serena’s arms and her expression not convinced. “We’re in the middle of enemy territory. Anything could be an attack.”

The priestess joined them at the window. She had always been difficult to read, even when they were children, but her smooth, calm expression held a hint of… something as she looked out of the window.

“Not this time,” she said, and for a moment Serena was sure she sounded sad.

“Good. We should move,” Max ordered, trying to hustle Serena away from the window. “Get you somewhere safe with the other betas. Away from danger.”

“I’m an omeg—”

Max hissed and clamped her hand over Serena’s mouth before she could finish the sentence.

“Never say that word,” she hissed, her face pinched with anger and fear.

Serena shook her head, freeing herself from her sister’s touch. That was one of the rules. She knew that. But… she was pregnant. Claimed. She had an alpha. Those rules didn’t apply to her anymore. Did they?

Her attention was drawn back to the fireworks. There were so many it was almost deafening. It had to have woken up everyone in the citadel. “Why are they doing that? Is it a holiday?”

Ariadne shook her head, and this time her voice was even heavier with what had to be sadness… or maybe even grief? “They are marking the passing of one of their own. This is how they celebrate the life of a valued warrior.”

“Good. One less of them means one less asshole we’ll have to face in our next fight.” Max tugged at Serena’s wrist again. “Come on before that asshole ex of yours changes his mind. If this is a trap, I don’t want to be here when it springs.”

“No… wait. What?” She slapped Max’s hands away to focus on Ariadne. “Which warrior? Did someone die?”

The other woman met her gaze levelly. “Not yet, no, but he will at sunrise.”

She shook her head. “What? That doesn’t make sense. How do you know?”

Ariadne sighed. The sound was weighted. Reluctant.

“They’re marking the Iratzi Tarn. It’s the Tolathian ritual suicide ceremony.”

Max barked a laugh. “One of them is topping himself? Why? Fuck, if we can figure that out maybe we can make the rest of the bastards off themselves and get our planet back!”

Ice rolled down Serena’s spine. “Which warrior?”

Ariadne didn’t answer. Not directly. Instead, she asked a question. “Did you know that with some of the Tolath, the mating bond is so strong that they cannot exist without their omegas? I only learned of it the other day. I gather it’s rare, but when it happens…” She nodded out the window.

“Who is it?” Serena was screaming inside. She suspected, no, she knew who it had to be.

Ariadne gave her a look of sympathy that chilled her down to her soul. “It’s T’kinn. You were fading, Serena. Letting you go was the only way to save you and the baby.”

“So he’ll just find another omega. That’s all. Right? They share all the time.” Her voice was raw and her hands were shaking so hard she had to clamp them into fists to make it stop.

“Not in this case, no.” Ariadne raised her hands in a gesture somewhere between confusion and disbelief. “He’s giving up his life for you, Serena. I didn’t know any of them had that kind of honor.”

“They don’t,” Max spat. “It’s a lie.”

The floor titled under Serena’s feet and she clutched at the window frame for support. Her gaze flew to the lightening predawn sky.

“No… he can’t,” she breathed, pain welling up in the center of her chest from her very soul. “He can’t do that. He’ll find another omega.”

But she knew he wouldn’t. She knew the truth in her heart. She’d read it in Ariadne’s gaze.

“No… No!” She gasped, grabbing at Ariadne’s arm. “I have to get there. Stop him.”

“The fuck you do. We are leaving. Now!” Max snatched for her hand, but this time Serena blocked her with a hard slash of her hand.

“Don’t touch me.”

“Rena! What the fuck are you thinking? They did this to you. Didn’t they? They fucked with your head somehow. Made you want to stay here and live in hell. Forget it. Come with me and we’ll fix you.”

Max glared at the priestess. “This is why you wanted to wait. Isn’t it? Where do your loyalties lie, Ariadne? Because I don’t think you’re on our side anymore.”

“I wanted to give Serena the choice.” Ariadne looked directly at her. “If you want to leave now, we can.”

“Of course she wants to leave,” Max scoffed.

“I don’t.” Serena looked at the fireworks, and the ever-lightening sky. In a heartbeat, she made her decision—the only decision.

“I need to find him. Stop him.”

“Fuck!” Max was furious. “No. This is not happening. You are not going to save one of them. For fuck’s sake, they’re the enemy!”

Serena turned and looked at Max. Her sister. Her twin. The one person she’d always been in sync with… until now. “He saved your life, Max. And now he’s willing to die to save mine. He’s not my enemy.” She went for the door. “He’s my alpha.”

Ariadne joined her. “I know the way, but we must hurry.”

Max slammed her fist into the wall, putting a dent in the aging plaster. “You’re not going anywhere without me. Two human females running around this city unescorted is an invitation for trouble. If you’re doing this stupid fucking thing, I’m coming too.”

Serena flashed her sister a grateful smile. “Thank you.”

Max just grimaced. “Don’t thank me yet. If he’s not dead by the time we get there, I might just kill him myself.”