Dark Need by Clarissa Wild

Chapter 24

April

Swim?

Did he just say swim?

My face turns pale. “No … no, we’re not.”

He must be joking, right?

The river below us is huge and very wild, the type you’d hear people talk about when they went kayaking and almost went under. Rocks are everywhere, and water crashes into them, spilling over with great speed.

There’s no way in hell I’m getting in that cold water.

Not to mention the fact that it could kill us.

“Tell me you’re making a cruel joke,” I say.

“We’re swimming,” he answers.

I shake my head. “You can’t be for real right now. You know that’s going to kill us, right? That river is fucking deep.” How is he even considering that? “Look at the size of that thing!”

“We can walk. We’ll make it across,” he says, and he steps forward as if he’s actually contemplating climbing down and getting into the water.

“How?” I scoff. “Can’t we just find a bridge? There must be one somewhere up or downstream.”

“Too much time wasted already,” he retorts. “We go now.”

“What?” I mutter, completely flabbergasted he’s even contemplating this. “No, absolutely not.”

At the water’s edge, he turns to me, throwing me that same menacing look I’ve seen before … when he was about to cut me with his knife. But he wouldn’t do that, would he? I’m his precious cargo. The one thing he’s supposed to keep safe. He wouldn’t hurt me.

“Come. Now,” he barks with that same authoritarian voice he used when he demanded I’d come with him from the comfort of my bed back in the house. It never fails to bring goose bumps to my skin.

I step a little bit closer, but not far enough so that he can grab my hand and tug me in. I’m not dumb. “I’m not getting one bit closer until you tell me what the hell you’re planning. I’m not risking my life by getting in there.”

“You’ll survive,” he says, his voice dark and brooding as he stares me down. “I’m here.”

Like that’s supposed to make me feel better.

“It’s freaking cold in there,” I respond as sprays of water hit my legs. “No way.”

He pulls the rope from his bag again and twists it around his hand like he’s going to tame a horse, and it makes me step back.

“Come here … Now.”

It’s not a question.

Not even remotely.

Either I do what he wants.

Or I run.

Now.

Biting my lip, I glance over my shoulder and back at him, wondering which option is the smarter one to take. He watches me like a hawk. One misstep and I’m done for.

Still, I take the risk.

I spin on my heels as quickly as I can, darting back up the hill.

I squeal when I look over my shoulder, and he’s right there in my footsteps, clawing his way back up like a beast.

“April!” he barks.

But I don’t look back.

Suddenly, his hand is around my ankle, and he tugs me down. I shriek, but my voice is cut short by my face hitting the dirt. Three seconds is all it takes for him to wrap the rope around my belly and secure it tightly behind my back … along with my arms.

He drags me down back toward the river.

“Let go of me!” I yell. “I never said I agreed to crossing a damn river!”

“You are coming with me whether you like it or not,” he growls.

“Are you out of your mind?” I kick around, but it’s no use. He’s much stronger than I am. “You’re going to get us both killed!”

He turns me around on my back and grabs my shoulders, looking me dead in the eyes. But the menacing look on his face has been replaced by candor as though he wishes to instill me with faith. “Stop fighting. We’ll make it.”

I’m panting as he sits on top of me, staring me down like he wants me to admit defeat. Like he wants me to actually … believe in him.

But he is my captor.

My best interests are the last thing on his mind.

So I fight tooth and nail, kicking and screaming. I even try to bite him. That’s how badly I want to avoid getting into the river … because, after all this struggle, I’ll be damned if I let some water kill me.

But he locks me in place with both his legs and arms, firmly holding me down on the ground. “I will not let you die,” he says with such certainty in his voice that it quiets mine. He leans over, gazing at me with darkened eyes hidden underneath thick lashes. “Trust … me.”

Something about how he says it, so full of devotion and confidence, makes me stop fighting him. I relax as he nods and then scoots off me to help me up from the ground.

I don’t know what made me trust him so easily.

If it was the stillness in his body, the softness in his voice, or the sympathy in his face.

Or maybe, just maybe, it was because he understood and recognized the primal need to escape a fate that I didn’t get to decide.

He pulls me along by the rope, closer to the riverbank, where he starts taking off his shirt and shoes and socks, tucking them into the bag. Every inch of skin that becomes visible makes it harder to breathe, and I visibly gulp when he approaches me and unfurls the rope from my body. My shirt and pants go next into the bag and onto his back. All that’s left are my bra and panties, and his eyes never leave my body. The intensity in his actions is so much that I can barely breathe as he ties the rope around both of us, securing it tight.

“If you die … I die,” he says.

The conviction in his voice does not go unnoticed.

He holds out his hand, and I look down at his fingers, which are steady as a rock, while I’m swaying like the waves in the sea, unsure of myself.

Our eyes connect in a moment of sincerity, and I take the plunge, grabbing his hand.

He pulls us into the river, holding my hand tightly. The frigid cold instantly makes me shiver, fear overtaking my heart as I struggle to fight the waves. A rush of adrenaline swoops over me with every step I take, deeper into the river and down into the water until we’re waist-deep.

Until the cold reminds me of a time I don’t want to remember.

* * *

April

Months ago, the Holy Land

A bucketof ice-cold water makes all the hairs on my body rise and my nipples peak. It never gets easier even though I’ve been to these community showers so many times now. They only do this to me because I refuse to undress in front of them. Because I refuse to shower with everyone here like it’s the most normal thing in the world.

Just as I refuse to let some random man touch me and claim me as his.

Instead, I steel myself for the cold and the shock that comes with the bucket of ice water being thrown at me until I’m drenched.

“You’re still not getting undressed?” the woman in front of me asks with a condescending tone.

I shake my head.

“Fine.” She throws me a towel and shoves me forward toward the door. “Enjoy not dancing and not having fun.” She rolls her eyes. “Typical Initiate.”

Initiate. That’s what they call me.

A derogatory term for women who have not yet been taken by a man.

Whose pussy hasn’t been claimed and owned.

If I’d known it would be like this, I would’ve never signed that damn paper. Their God is a liar. There is no love here.

I’m shoved up the stairs and onto the balcony where I’ve been so many times. But seeing these people dance … and fuck like animals never gets easier.

I swallow hard and hide in a corner so I can pretend I’m not here even though I’m cold and my clothes are soaked through.

I look up over the crowd to see Natalie seated on a chair on the raised plateau, right next to Noah, one of the men who rules this place. She doesn’t even see me, but I see her. I see how she eats the food offered to her, how she lavishes in the attention given to her as one of the “chosen ones.”

And it fills me with disgust, knowing I ever thought she was a friend.

That I thought we could revolt together after sharing a dark, damp cell.

Or maybe I’m just jealous that she is up there with the people who are revered. Safe.

While I am here among the masses, hoping and praying I don’t get picked.

After a while, a man steps toward me, and I inch away against the wall.

“Hey there, I saw you from across the room. You look so pretty,” he says.

“Please don’t,” I say, looking away. “I’m not interested.”

“Oh c’mon, I think we should have a dance first.”

When he grabs my hand, I jerk away. “No.”

He narrows his eyes. “You dare to defy a man?”

Tears well up in my eyes. “I don’t want to.”

“Well, you’re going to have to.” He leans in too close for comfort. “And someone will pick you. You should be happy if it’s me.”

He’s so close, I can smell his breath, and it smells like liquor. Bile rises in my throat.

“Now come dance with me. Your pussy will be mine,” he growls.

My body overflows with rage, and I grab the nearest thing I can find. A pan filled with oysters, and I smack it against his head.

He drops to the floor, unconscious.

A cold draft swoops past and instantly turns my already soaked body into ice.

Everybody turns around and stares at me and then at the man on the floor.

And I know I am in deep, deep trouble.

* * *

Present

My body shakes uncontrollablywhile his is as firm as a boulder parting the water with his muscular arms, swaying back and forth with every step.

I can’t feel my feet even though I know they touch the bottom of the river, but for how long? How deep will this river go? I know he said we could walk, but does he know what the deepest point is? Did he calculate it, or is he just winging it?

The mere thought puts me on edge, so I try not to think about it and focus on the other side instead. The riverbank is up ahead, not far away. We’re almost halfway now. Maybe we can make it if I ignore the cold numbing my limbs.

Suddenly, a rock slips underneath my toes, and I fall.

My body goes first before my face dips under.

And then everything goes dark.

Water rushes over my head, and I stumble but don’t manage to regain my footing. My head tips up as I break the surface and suck in a breath. But the water instantly overflows, gushing into my lungs.

I splutter and go under again, losing my footing entirely.

The water is too strong for me to resist, and it drags me away for a few feet.

Then it comes to a full-on stop. But I still can’t tilt my head and get above the water.

Water swooshes past me everywhere, and it’s so dark that I can’t see a thing.

Where am I? How do I get up? I need air.

Fuck.

I can’t breathe!

I start to panic and flail, but it only makes things worse.

Even though I’m slipping, I still fight the water, desperate not to lose.

Something hard whips up against my belly, the impact making me eject the last bit of air still in my lungs. My vision begins to fade.

But he told me he wouldn’t let me die.

He told me he’d keep me safe.

He told me …to trust him.