Denied Mate by Roxie Ray
Liv
“What the fuck is wrong with you?” I snapped at Ben as I threw the soggy burrito back into the freezer. No longer fit for consumption, but I wasn’t going to chuck it in the trash—it was the best ice pack I had.
Cal had left in a hurry without saying goodbye. I felt like shit, but he had to know Ben was the one to blame, right? I winced. Even I wasn’t sure Ben was entirely to blame, even if I wasn’t exactly willing to examine my warring feelings any further than that.
My brother laughed and helped himself to my meager liquor cabinet. “What’s wrong with me? Jesus. Nothing. I’m perfect,” he snorted, pouring himself a shot of tequila. He didn’t even bother asking if I wanted any.
“You’ve been a real asshole lately, you know that?” I snatched the bottle and poured one for myself. The kitchen was still a mess, but he hadn’t given it a second look. Hadn’t asked anything else about my bruises, either.
“Yeah. Imagine that.” He threw back the liquor and grimaced at the burn. “Trying to live up to Dad’s legacy is, uh, kind of stressful. Not that you’d know what responsibility is like.”
I took the shot and slammed the glass onto the counter. The anger I thought I’d worn off began bubbling back under the surface.
He didn’t notice. “I mean, you were always Dad’s favorite. Never had any real reason to worry about anything. Just his perfect little princess”
“Did you come here to make me feel like shit?” I demanded. I crossed my arms over my chest, like I could protect my heart from the insults. I couldn’t. It fucking stung.
He softened and topped up my glass. I didn’t pick it back up. When he spoke, he was a bit quieter this time. “Sorry, Liv. I’m just having a hard time with all this alpha shit. The pack isn’t really respecting me yet.”
“Yeah. Well, you’re looking the part at least.” I motioned to his muscles on the edge of ripping his shirt sleeves open. “Why don’t you go visit the elder? He’ll give you advice on how to win the pack over.” Or on how to stop being such a raging asshole, I didn’t add. My wolf huffed her agreement.
Ben snorted and side-eyed me. “He’s been missing since Dad died. Mountain time, I guess.” Ben shrugged and tipped back another shot.
The pack elder was a notorious recluse who only spent a few months of the year in town. The rest of the time, he hid himself away in the nearby mountains so he could live in his wolf form and stay deeply rooted with his intuition. Even though the old man had spun a wise-ass tale about Cal and me being ‘fated’, he had been right about a lot of things and our dad had always relied on his counsel. If nothing else, the man wasn’t afraid to speak his mind, and that was a rarer thing than it should be.
“I actually came to check on you. Heard you were at a seedy bar and thought you’d hit rock bottom or something.” Ben waved a finger around my face. “Guess I was right. What happened?”
“Someone attacked me here.” I took the extra shot he’d poured me, happy for the anesthetic. “I was going to call to tell you, but I just… Cal was taking care of me.”
Ben glared at me with something approximating the compelling authority of our father. “You need to stay away from him and the rest of his family. All right?”
The rest of his family? Was that his goon spying on me in the hospital, or was he just still pissy I’d asked for protection for Christine?
“Liv.” His voice had a snap to it and made me jump.
“What the hell, Ben. Why do you hate him so much? He never did anything to you or any of us.” I rubbed my neck and remembered Cal’s fingers there, as gentle as the attacker’s had been harsh.
“I don’t hate him. Just stay away from him.” He pointed at me. “That’s an order.” He stood up a little straighter, trying to stare me down.
I couldn’t help scoffing. Maybe the tequila was making me brave. “And if I don’t?”
He slammed his palm down on the kitchen counter, making the utensils jump. “Fuck, Liv! Then Mom will finally cut you off and I’ll have to excommunicate you from the pack.”
My breath snagged and I leaned back like his words had pushed me. “You wouldn’t.”
“Yes. I fucking would, Liv. I would have to.” His lips pinched tight and stared into my eyes, almost pleading. The overprotective big brother who’d fought off all my bullies was still under there, but he was buried under the weight of alpha leadership. I almost didn’t recognize him sometimes, like he was wearing a dark shroud; this was definitely one of those times.
I had started trembling, my wolf startled one too many times for one night, and I suddenly needed very badly to be alone in a quiet, dark room.
Ben huffed and ran a hand through his hair. “Just stop seeing Cal, all right? He’s not worth it.” He watched me for a moment and looked away. What the fuck was wrong with him? How could he threaten me like that and just keep talking?
My head was spinning from the threat of being cut off and dumped from my pack. Sure, I’d been making steps to find my independence but I was still almost completely reliant on my stipend from my mom. Shit. I couldn’t even hold down an entry-level job. And now I had some freak trying to murder me—the pack was the only protection I had, aside from Cal, and Ben had probably just scared him off for good. Without anyone looking out for me, I’d be easy prey.
“You’re okay, right?” Ben looked me over, then gently tilted my head to the side and tutted at the marks on my neck. “You want a doctor?”
I stepped back and managed a slight smile. “I’m fine.” I didn’t think he actually cared at all. And if he did? My wolf was still bristling under his threat.
“Get some sleep. I’ll check on you tomorrow.” He screwed the cap back on the bottle and I watched, numb, as he finally left.
The door closed behind him and I let myself get swallowed up in the empty apartment. Grey’s Anatomy hummed from the television, and my wolf nudged me. I wanted to go to bed, but there was something at the edge of my awareness again… I groaned and pressed the heels of my hands into my eyes. I couldn’t handle more flashbacks, more intuition, more of this crazy fucking day. My whole body hurt, but now that the adrenaline Ben’s surprise visit had injected me with was wearing off...I just wanted to sleep.
No chance. My wolf nipped at me, dragged me until I was pacing my apartment, my bare feet cold on the kitchen tiles then warm on the plush carpet. My head spun, and my heart hammered as I remembered the way Cal had kissed me. Or had I kissed him? My lips prickled, demanding more. I frowned; why did I always want what I couldn’t have? He had rejected me. There were no uncertain terms in that declaration, either. Even earlier today, he didn’t apologize, or indicate he’d have done differently.
Do you think we could have been happy?
That was it. That was all it was going to be.
Forbidden. My whole life was built on the security my family afforded me. Louboutins, fancy apartment, top-shelf liquor, beauty treatments, access to everywhere and connections to everyone in town. I didn’t know who I’d be without my lifestyle, or if I’d even survive.
Maybe I’d just have to call Ben’s bluff… A sinking feeling in my gut told me he was serious. Throwing his sister out of the pack for treason would be the kind of swift display of power to win over any pack members who doubted his command, and if they weren’t won over, they’d probably at least be impressed. Or frightened. Cowed. Whatever it was Ben thought made a leader.
Cal… He’d saved me twice. Once from abject humiliation and another from, shit, death. Or at least grievous injury. Who knew what the fuck that creep had been thinking? We weren’t playing make-believe anymore. This was real life, and he’d put himself on the line for me. Even after my family had ruined his life. Even after everything I’d done to him.
Fuck. If I couldn’t be with him, then the least I could do was actually, finally apologize. No matter what he said, I did owe him that much.
I slipped on a pair of white sneakers, yanked my hair back into a messy bun, and grabbed my clutch. Shit. No keys… I thought I’d left them in the kitchen but they were nowhere to be found. I sighed and rubbed my face. I must have left them in my bedroom. I was really losing it. I turned around to head back down the hall. My wolf growled and I tried to shush her; it would just take a few extra moments to—
The front door of my apartment swung back open. I hadn’t even registered someone outside. I didn’t even bother turning around. “Ben! Go home!” Ben didn’t answer; before I could turn around to hear my brother back out, a hand smacked around my mouth from behind and muffled the sound. I struggled for barely a second before my whole body became weak and everything blurred. Where was Ben? Wasn’t he just here? Why would he just leave me—?
Oh. The world was spinning. And just like that, I blacked out…
