Denied Mate by Roxie Ray
Cal
“Nah, man, I need a new one. You gave me the weak shit!” The suit leaned over the bar, way too close to my face, earthy musk of wolf shifter all over him, and his espresso martini more than half gone. “I know you know what I mean.” The man raised his well-manicured brows in an attempt to give me what he probably thought was an intimidating look. He swirled the drink meaningfully and kept blathering. “It’s so weak I can tell you burnt my espresso, too!”
My wolf bristled at the obvious disrespect. I shrugged it off. Only men (or wolves) with something to prove came across that heavy-handed.
“Oh, wow, you can taste the nuances of the roast over the double vodka?” I shouted over the heavy bass of the live band and waved him off, then turned my attention to the next customer.
I was a bouncer, not a barman, but I was happy to step in for my friend Danny when he was running late. Much to the chagrin of the rich boys who came from old money Central Bridgehaven to the outskirts just to rub up against the rest of us—there was something thrilling about mingling with rogue wolves, I guess. Maybe they thought the rumors were true and they’d be able to pick up a witch or a fae while they were here. Bridgehaven was an old-money town, wolf shifters with a smattering of humans who didn’t know of our existence, a handful of problematic witches, and some rumors said that fae mingled there too, but it’d be out of character for them; they kept to themselves for the most part, and rightfully so—wolves could be fiercely jealous of a fae’s ability to seduce anyone, including even the wisest shifter.
I didn’t have time for some rich asshole’s shit. The Lair was dark, loud, and sticky; it acted like a magnet for anyone looking for a little danger or a dingy place to conduct business in the shadows.
“What can I get you?” I asked a twenty-something kid with dreads and a glazed-over expression. I subtly checked my phone while the guy stared at the rack of liquor behind me and waited for his brain to catch up with the question.
Still no text from my ma. Worry nipped at my guts. It wasn’t like her to leave me hanging on whether we were having dinner the next night. She always wanted double or even triple confirmation I was coming.
Stoner guy smoothed a hand over his dreads and leaned forward. “Whiskey sour—”
“Hey, buddy, I’m not fucking around.” The suit was back. Mr. Big Business knocked my other patron aside with his shoulder and shoved his glass toward me. “You’re going to make me a new one or—”
“Sure.” I snatched his glass before my wolf could express his displeasure with being called buddy. I twisted back towards the shelf with the intention of sloshing together another overpriced cocktail when a hint of Chanel No. 5 caught in my throat. Perfumes and colognes had stopped giving my headaches after being inundated with them as soon as I joined the human workforce, but they never ceased to catch my attention. It was a shining beacon for any shifter, really. Hello, I’m human, and I have to drench myself to smell anything at all!
The scent dragged my gaze over the suit’s shoulder to the redhead with the pierced lip and a beyond-mini dress hovering on the edge of the crowd. Brittany fanned her fingers out in a sultry wave and rolled her hips to the music, grinding her pelvis on an invisible saddle as she winked at me. And that was why I’d even starting liking the smell of Chanel, powerful or otherwise.
Shit. A lusty growl escaped from my throat, but I hesitated. We’d been hooking up for a few weeks, but Brittany was all human—an easy conquest. There was something about humans which made them easy for a wolf to seduce. Our pheromones maybe. Or maybe the way we fucked like wild beasts. It was almost too easy. The thrill of casual sex used to get me off easily, but lately my emotions were getting in the way. I was missing something. Or someone. My wolf huffed in frustration; he knew what we were missing. Who.
Fuck no. I shut my wolf down before we wandered any farther down memory lane. The past wasn’t going to tie me down. I was my own damn person. I chucked the glass behind me, jumped the bar, and ignored the shouts of the spoiled rich boy as I stormed over to my latest hookup.
It wasn’t the first time I’d ducked out of work to make out with her and lead her to the staff bathroom. That I still had a job probably said more about the staffing problems at The Lair than it said about my prodigal abilities as a club bouncer. Brittany clung to me with her arms around my neck and kissed me hard. I lifted her onto the counter, kicked the door shut, and took her mouth with my tongue. Long, pink painted nails dug into my neck, just deep enough to make me stiff. With a strong grip on her hip, I slammed forward and pressed my hard cock between her legs. She gasped into my mouth then moaned and rolled her hips like she’d finally found something worth grinding on.
“I missed you.” She sounded breathless as I held the back of her neck, her red curls falling down over her shoulders and the tiny half-moon amulet resting between her luscious, round breasts.
Shit, I’d seen a necklace like that before.
Nope. Absolutely not going there.
I tightened my grip, dragged my teeth over her collarbone, and spread her legs farther apart. Goosebumps prickled across her skin and she let her head fall back with another breathy moan as I palmed her clit through her panties.
My cock throbbed as I pushed aside the black lace and slid two fingers against her wetness. She was fucking soaked for me. I sucked in a sharp breath, almost dizzy with the scent of sex and her perfume. She sighed again as I slipped my fingers into her and palmed her clit. Thumb in her mouth, two fingers in her pussy, and a flash of eye contact was all it took to get her over the edge.
Wolf power.
Brittany cried out and squeezed her eyes shut as her pussy spasmed around my fingers. I worked her all the way through her leg-twitching, nail-dragging, muscle-quaking orgasm and only stopped when she grabbed my wrist, panting and whimpering for mercy. I let her ease my fingers out and dragged my soaked palm across the inside of her thigh.
Right about then was when I’d usually break out a condom, slip into her and ride my latest girl to a flash of ecstasy of my own. It was better with another wolf, but a mild orgasm was better than none. Brittany was ready for it—she grabbed my belt and started on my buckle, but I held her hands and shook my head. Something wasn’t right. My wolf was practically dozing; his heart wasn’t in it. I wasn’t sure I could, well…make it to the end. My wolf had never been that interested in my conquests, but he used to at least understand that I still had needs like every other man in this damn town.
She frowned, perfectly groomed brows creasing together, and her well-bitten lips pouted. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
“Nah, it’s nothin’.”
Yeah, right—nothin’ like being plagued with memories of my childhood friend and unrequited love, Liv, every day for the past month. Nothin’ like it.
“Is it your mom? Is she okay?” Brittany dragged her fingers through my hair and looked at me with concern. She was a sweet girl, she knew Ma was the most important thing in my world.
My heart twitched as I remembered I still hadn’t heard from her and reached for my phone. Nothing.
“Yeah, I haven’t heard from her for a few days. Sorry—I shouldn’t have…” I gestured vaguely at the way she was perched on the edge of the sink, dress hitched up to her waist.
She laughed and poked my thigh with the stiletto of her shoe. “Are you kidding me? This was great. It’s fine, babe. Hey, come over to my place after work? After you get in touch with your mom?”
I glanced at my phone and frowned, nodding. “Yeah. Sure thing.”
Brittany slid off the counter and adjusted her dress down over her pert ass, squeezed my jaw, and kissed me firmly. “You’re so fucking hot. I’ll pay you back later, okay? Bring extra condoms, I want you all night.”
I laughed and tipped my head away playfully as she tried to steal another kiss. “I have to get back to work.”
“Whoo! Quick as a flash!”Danny spun a double jigger between his fingers and beamed at me with a cheeky smile. “That was a fast break for you, my man!”
I gave him a puzzled look like he was talking nonsense, and he mirrored it right back as he poured out shots of tequila into a Long Island iced tea for a group of college girls giggling at the far end of the bar.
“Those guys give you shit?” I pointed to the suits who were swaying to the music, holding their phones up like it was an Ed Sheeran concert.
“Yeah, of course they did. My job description is ‘taking shit.’” He slid the iced tea to a blonde and winked as she handed him a hefty tip.
He immediately bounced over to me and shoved the cash in my shirt pocket. “Thanks for covering for me.”
“The boss in?” I glanced around, paranoid I’d be caught covering for Danny or taking patrons to the bathroom.
“Nah, we’re good. How’s it going with Miss Thang anyway?” Danny grabbed his rag and cleaned the bar, like his hands would strangle him if he didn’t keep them busy with something else.
“Brittany?” She was dancing on a podium with her friends, damn hot, and I wondered why the hell I’d just turned down the chance to get nasty in the bathroom. Maybe because we’d done that several times already. I huffed out a breath and shook my head.
“Yeah, Brittany. Who else is there?” Danny paused, and looked at me from under dark brows. “Oh. There is someone else, isn’t there?”
Yeah, right. I blew air from between my lips and stood tall, tough, and scanned the crowd for trouble.
“C’mon, Cal. Don’t pretend like you’re suddenly Mr. Work Ethic.” Danny flicked his towel at me, hard enough it made me hiss. “You know my instincts are on point, every time. Don’t pretend you don’t know what I’m talking about. Who is she? Or he?”
“She is…no one.” I scowled, mildly annoyed I’d landed right into his trap, and pissed as hell that he was right.
“Mm-hm.” He leaned on the bar and pouted. “What’s going on? Love? Lust? Friends with benefits? Or is it a frenemy kind of thing?”
“It’s a ‘haven’t spoken to her for over ten years, don’t know why she’s haunting my thoughts all of the sudden’ kind of thing.” I groaned and rubbed my eyes, trying to get her gorgeous, perfect face out of my mind. She wasn’t someone I wanted to think about, much less discuss.
Danny clicked his tongue. “Hm. Juicy. She got a name?”
“Liv.” Saying it made my stomach flip and my heart smashed against my breastbone.
He gave me an odd look, but before he could shoot follow-up questions at me, I pointed to the backroom. “Hey, listen, I have to call my mom. If the boss—”
“Yeah, man. I got you.” He held up his hand in oath, then quickly turned to serve the stoned guy who was still leaning against the bar exactly where I’d left him.
I hurried back to the relative quiet of the stock room and muffled the noise of the bar with a finger in my ear and tried to hear Ma picking up. Wolf shifters had enhanced hearing compared to humans, but punk metal was loud, no matter your abilities.
There was no mistaking the sound when she answered the phone.
“Cal—” She was cut off by a loud bang.
My pulse roared. “Ma, are you okay—”
She screamed, the sound ripping through my blood.
“Mom!” I shouted.
Something thudded, muffled scuffling... Her phone thumped, probably onto the floor, and everything went quiet.
Fuck.
Adrenaline bolted through my muscles and quick as I could without drawing attention, I stormed back through the bar, shouted something at Danny about covering for me, and pushed through the sweaty crowd into the street. We didn’t live far from the bar—nothing was far from anything in Bridgehaven, especially on the poverty-dense edges—but I raced down the main road at full speed. The pavement felt sticky under my sneakers and I pushed my feet into the ground harder, growling with frustration that I couldn’t go faster, until I slipped into the back alleyways. It was a shortcut to our apartment and even better, it was dark.
I shifted, faster than ever. Normally, I would have at least taken the time to undress—I only have so many shirts left that weren’t fraying on the sleeves or hiding holes where seams should be—but fear and rage pushed my wolf right to the surface. I grimaced as bones rearranged themselves and fur burst from my skin, rippling down my arms. My face twisted and elongated. I was forced down onto all fours as I lost fingers and thumbs, gained paws and claws in their place. The dark alley became bright through my sharp eyes. The stink of rotting garbage and piss exploded through my skull. Rats scampered over the side of a dumpster when they got a whiff of my wolf, and a drunk guy did a double take but kept on walking down the well-lit street.
I bolted at top speed, dashing across the unlit parts of the cross streets before disappearing into another alley. A large portion of the Bridgehaven population was made up of wolves, but we didn’t shift publicly if we could help it. Massachusetts wasn’t known for its urban wolves, and the last thing we needed was a human-led hunt—And that said nothing about the witches or who-knew-what-else hiding amongst the humans.
My instinct to protect my mom was even more intense as a wolf. I couldn’t lose her, not after what had happened to my dad. After we’d been excommunicated, she’d become my entire world. Yeah, we had a makeshift network of outcasts like us in Westend, but really, she was my pack. She was all I had.
On four feet, I quickly covered the mile home and didn’t bother shifting back into human form for the last empty block. Streetlamps flashed past, I careened around the corner; a dog barked when I slammed open the gate of the apartment building. Upstairs, third floor, end of the hall—
The door was hanging on its hinges. White noise roared in my ears and I sniffed hard for any hint of what I might find inside.
Deodorant and sweat, spice and whiskey; human male. Iron and salt; blood. Magnolia and linen; Ma. Something else, something sharp. Adrenaline. Fear.
I burst into the dark apartment to find her cowering on the kitchen floor, shielding her face with battered hands as a man in a torn black hoodie held a knife high above her. There was blood on his face and a gash on his shoulder, bloodying what looked like a hexagon on his skin. He hadn’t even noticed me, intent on seeing whatever this was through.
I advanced and he spun around, shocked. With a snarl, I lunged, but he stepped back and stumbled over the smashed plates littering the laminate floor. I landed just shy of his feet and snapped at his legs. Not fast enough. He leaped over the kitchen counter, kicking dirty silverware back toward me as he went, and before I could spin and chase him, he was gone out of the window. I was halfway to following him—
“Cal…” Mom reached for me and grabbed my scruff before I could jump up, blood catching my fur.
I whimpered, distressed, and searched her for the site of her injuries. My nose brushed over broken skin and I licked her busted knuckles, her bloody palms. She must have broken the plates smashing them over that asshole. When I looked up, I realized her breath was labored and she was gripping her side with shaky fingers. Her dark brown eyes searched mine, and I saw her struggle to stay conscious.
It was bad. Fuck. It was really bad.
I shifted back, and immediately lifted her in my arms, oblivious to the fact I was naked. She couldn’t shift like this, I didn’t think she would be able to survive the rearrangement of organs and bones. She wasn’t going to be able to heal herself. We didn’t have the money for an ambulance and even if we did, I wasn’t going to send her to the broke-ass Westend Community Unit—we were going to get the best fucking care from Bridgehaven General, deep in the bowel of the old-money mansions. Like the one Liv had grown up in.
I squeezed my eyes shut as memories smashed through me; sitting in a sterile office as we were stitched after tumbling down the small ravine we were specifically told not to play in. We were young, hadn’t found our wolves yet. Healed like humans, so we had to get treated like humans.
I shook my head and carried Ma back to the bedroom. It wasn’t the fucking time. I needed a shirt, pants, boots. I didn’t even look at the ensemble I’d pulled on before I got another shirt and wadded it up, holding it against my mother’s side. “Hold this, okay?” I instructed her before lifting her back into my arms. In her van, I got my mom as comfortable as I could and cursed the engine to life.
The van barely got from A to B on a good day, but I pushed her for all she was worth anyways. “Stay with me, Mama.” I squeezed her hand so tight and brushed the tears out of my eyes whenever I could safely let go of the wheel.
“Cal. No—” She wheezed and tugged at my wrist as we broke out of Westend and into Central Bridgehaven. “Not this damn neighborhood.”
I laughed, something bordering hysteria, and shook my head at her. “We’ve got to get you the good doctors, Ma. We’ve gotta get the best for you.”
She heaved an unsteady breath and croaked, “Memories, baby. Bad memories.”
“I know.” I swallowed thickly and gritted my jaw. “I know, Ma.”
I ran red lights on empty streets, ignored one-way signs, and got us to the ER while she was still conscious. The minute the emergency unit got her onto a stretcher, she looked at me and dropped her head, passing out.
“Can you tell us what happened, sir?” the voice came from underwater as someone threw a blanket around my shoulders.
I couldn’t. I couldn’t talk. I shook my head. My wolf oscillated between whining and snarling inside me, horrified at the sight of my unconscious mother and desperate to wreak vengeance on who had done it to her.
They wheeled my mom into the ER without wasting a moment and pushed past me, insisting I had to wait. As she disappeared into the hospital, I slowly became aware of my surroundings. No scent of trash and dirty laundry there; the neighborhood smelled like oleander and fresh-cut lawn, and it smacked me like deep nostalgia. Even the hospital must have had an advanced air filtration system because I couldn’t catch even a whiff of death or decay. Maybe they just had the funding to save people, while Westend Community didn’t.
Mom and I never went to the rich side of town anymore. After Dad had died, the pack had harassed us—endless phone calls, notes on the van windshield, our white picket fence graffitied. Enough to tell us we weren’t welcome anymore. We’d been excommunicated, and it was dangerous for us to stay there, but we didn’t move at first—Mom was determined to keep me in a good school. Once I’d dropped out, there was no reason to stay.
The threats stopped when we’d found our place in Westend, like the pack was happy we were out of sight and could finally be out of mind. Like the rest of the ousted wolves who lived on the edges of town, the local pack had left us alone…
Until now.
“Sir? Can you tell us what happened?” A nurse came into focus, a guy as dark as me with a crew cut and a human scent. His cologne was so powerful it almost knocked me off my feet.
“Yeah. I, uh…” A realization nipped at me. My senses sharpened and I focused on every breath I took. I knew what I had to do. “Can you hang on one second? I need to make a call.”
I backed away and dialed the bar. Danny answered, thank fuck. I didn’t know what I’d say if the boss had picked up.
“Cal! Your girl’s looking for you—saw you rushing out of here, and she’s real worried—”
My stomach rolled. “Uh, can you come to Bridgehaven General? I need someone to be here for my mom.”
“Your mom? Shit.” The sound of the band muted as he moved into the back room. “Is everything all right?”
“Yeah. No. It will be.” It had to be. I looked up the hills to the north where the Burns’ mansion was all lit up like it was Christmas every fucking day. “There’s just something I need to do, and I don’t know how long it’ll take. I could really use your help.”
“Hey, those are the magic words. Jeremy just got here; he can handle the bar. I’m on my way, okay?” His keys jingled in the background.
I slumped against the old-ass van, the same one Mom had used to drive me to Liv’s house for sleepovers every weekend, and looked from the hospital parking lot to the new warehouse conversion apartment blocks towering over the downtown area.
There was only one place to get answers. It might mean the end of me, but I didn’t have any other choice.
