Voyeur by Candace Wondrak
Chapter Three – Zoey
A thousand fucking dollars, all for barging in the back. All for watching that man, Carter, fuck Crystal and sitting and talking with Roman. A thousand dollars. I mean, I came from a family where a thousand bucks didn’t mean too much, but to me, right now, it was a lot. That could pay my rent next month and for all of my groceries.
I walked home, my mind thinking back to Roman and Carter.
Carter was handsome, his jaw square and his eyes a vibrant, intense green. He had the kind of face I crushed on in high school, big and muscular with a body that could easily pin you down and have its way with you.
Still, even though he’d been a sight to see, all primal and raw as he took Crystal’s mouth and cunt, he was nothing compared to Roman.
Roman was… God, I didn’t even know how to describe him, but I totally understood why anyone and everyone would want to go in the back with him, money aside. In that suit, he was a type of attractive most men just weren’t nowadays. I never was a fan of man buns or long hair on men. A well-groomed man in a suit? My kryptonite, apparently.
Not only that, but he was dangerous. His stares could kill, nail you to your seat, his words dripping venom, even when he wasn’t being overly aggressive.
An assassin. Just, like, what? How was I supposed to take that information? Half of me thought he was kidding when he’d said that, but the more I thought about it, the more I remembered how he’d been in that room, the less I thought he was joking.
Roman killed people. How was anyone supposed to sit in the same room as him and be comfortable? And by sit, I meant a lot more.
I shouldn’t think about him. I should wipe my mind of him and hope that I never saw him again. My gut told me that I would, though, and the worst part was I wanted to be in his presence more. Maybe it was wrong, but I kind of wanted to be in Crystal’s place, the center of his attention, his dark stare trained on me.
The sun was on its early rise as I finally made it back to my apartment building. I was exhausted from staying up all night; soon enough my sleep schedule would adjust, but it wasn’t quite there yet. I planned on promptly passing out the moment I got home.
Home. I hated thinking the tiny studio apartment waiting for me in this dingy building was my home, but it was. I couldn’t be picky, though.
Being alone was such a strange thing for me. Growing up, I always had friends. Friends, crushes, family, but now I had no one except myself, and take it from me, I wasn’t fun company right now.
I got my keys out, punching the up button in front of the elevator, waiting for it to come down, too lost in my own head to realize someone else had come into the building behind me, carrying a large hot coffee and a rolled-up bag that probably held pastries.
“It’s Zoey, right?” The man who stood beside me, also waiting for the elevator, was a face I’d seen a few times since moving in. My neighbor, Lake. A cute guy who I think was going to the community college nearby, maybe a year or two older than me. We’d gotten a small introduction when I’d moved in and realized I had no toilet paper. He was nice enough to give me a roll to get me through my first night.
“Yeah,” I said. “Lake?” I made myself smile even though I really didn’t feel like it. Too tired.
He grinned back at me, boyish dimples on his cheeks. His hair was a light blonde, falling over his forehead, shaggy enough to hide the blueness of his eyes if he wasn’t careful. “You remember,” he said, sounding shocked, as if he didn’t think me capable of remembering his name.
“Of course.” As I spoke, the elevator doors opened, and I stepped in, Lake directly behind me.
The elevator was a small space, and I tried to avoid touching Lake’s arm. To do so, I had to push myself against the dirty wall, acting as nonchalant as I could to avoid suspicion. It wasn’t Lake, it was me. He was so nice, maybe even flirty, but I just couldn’t see myself getting into anything serious right now.
Having Carter bend me over in front of Roman wouldn’t be serious. That’d just be for the money, for the release.
At least, that’s what I thought.
Lake clearly couldn’t take the silence of the elevator ride, for he said, “You’re up early.”
I eyed him up. “So are you.”
“Ah, I’m usually up early,” he shrugged it off.
The elevator doors slid open on our floor, and I was the first to step out, hoping the conversation was over. With my key in hand, I went towards my door, working on unlocking it. Unfortunately, Lake didn’t get the hint, because he followed me, still watching me a bit too heavily.
“Just so you know, I’m always down for showing you around town,” he said. “Or getting food. You like food, right?”
Brows creasing, I met his blue-eyed stare. Their hue was much darker than mine, a deep, sapphire color that threatened to drown me. Set in such a cute, innocent face, it felt wrong to deny this guy anything.
But I was duped by Bryan. I couldn’t really judge Lake based on the small bits I’d seen of him around here, even if he seemed like a different sort of guy.
“No,” I deadpanned, “I try not to eat food as much as possible.”
He laughed, and even though I shouldn’t, my ears liked the sound. “Well,” Lake paused, “if you ever change your mind, let me know. Have a good one.” He said nothing else, moving past me to head to his own apartment.
I watched him, waiting until he disappeared inside before pushing into my own.
My place was small, the opposite of what I was used to growing up. My bedroom as a child was bigger than the entire studio apartment, including the tiny ass bathroom. I locked the door behind me, heaving a sigh as I kicked off my shoes and moved toward my bed. Just an air mattress on the floor near the small kitchenette area, a thirty-inch TV screen resting on the floor near it. I’d only bought what I’d needed, tried to be as cheap as possible about it since I didn’t know when or if I’d get a job. It wasn’t like I knew I’d work at the Dollhouse and bring in over a thousand dollars my first night, not including my actual paycheck.
I collapsed on my bed, thinking back to last night. No matter what I did, no matter what I tried to force myself to think about, my mind kept going back to Roman. Roman and Carter. How could a man like that exist?
And why couldn’t I stop thinking about him?
Rolling over, I tried to think of something else, but my mind kept replaying the intense expression Roman wore, how his dark eyes seemed to follow you no matter what moves you made.
And I wasn’t even the one on display; Crystal was. I can only imagine how powerful that gaze was when you were bent over before him, getting railed by his bodyguard—or whatever the hell Carter was to him.
God, it was hot. A man like that could make you want to do things, things which you never pictured yourself doing. I’d only been with that two-faced Bryan, but something about Roman made me want to throw in the towel, spread my legs, and let him have at me.
Did he ever go after the girls, or was it always Carter sticking his dick in them? The answer didn’t matter, not really, but just for right now, since I was alone and daydreaming, I’d let myself think that Roman always kept his hands off—and his cock. That he simply watched and got off from it.
That, maybe, he’d felt the bizarre connection between us last night and would make me his first and only.
But that was something out of a fairytale, and my life was nothing like those happy, stupid things.
My next shift at the Dollhouse wasn’t for a few days. They’d started me off slow, just in case I decided I didn’t like working there and quit. I could definitely see how some girls wouldn’t care for it, but I was at the point in my life where I literally couldn’t care less about what I did. I just needed the money, and to have men drooling over me, trying to inconspicuously stroke their boners over their pants because they couldn’t keep it together while watching me… it was nice.
Made me feel all powerful and stuff.
Pink hair up in a bun, I wore sweats as I made something in the oven. Just a cheap frozen pizza, nothing too extravagant. I literally only left my place when I had to either go to work or go to the store, and I still had some things in the freezer to make.
I wasn’t a cook; the very opposite, but I’d make do. I had to, unless I wanted to go crawling back to Mom and Dad, apologize for stressing them out and worrying them by running away. Yes, I’d be the one apologizing, even though they’d known about Bryan and Willow. It was a type of infuriating you could not understand unless you’d been in the same situation, and frankly it was a situation I wouldn’t wish upon anyone.
Except Bryan and Willow, I mean.
With the pizza baking in the oven, I went back to my bed, sitting cross-legged as I watched whatever was on the TV. I hadn’t paid for cable; the apartment had a few channels for free I could hook up to, so that’s what I did. One channel was entirely in Spanish, which didn’t do me any good.
A knock on my door caused me to jerk my gaze away from the TV, glancing over my shoulder at the offending door. Holding in a groan, I got up and headed to it, peeking through the peephole before opening it. Thankfully, it wasn’t Lake. Don’t get me wrong, the guy was cute and he seemed really nice—I just wasn’t in the mood for nice. Not now. Not for a while. I’d been conned by a nice guy already and didn’t want to repeat it.
No, the person standing outside my door was, in fact, Crystal.
I opened the door, taking a step back to welcome her in. “Hey,” I said. “What’s up?”
Crystal walked in, leaning her backside on the small kitchen counter as she took in the smell of the pizza in the air. “You know you’re starving when a pizza in a box smells good,” she remarked, staring at the opened box beside her. She wore jeans, along with a thin tank top. Not her work outfit by any stretch. Today must be her day off.
“You could have some, if you want,” I offered. “It’ll be another ten minutes.”
“No, that’s okay. I’ll let you handle that,” she spoke, grinning. She ran a hand through her blonde hair, looking a bit out of sorts. “I did want to talk to you, though.” When I said nothing, only stared at her with confusion on my face, she went on, “About what happened on your first night at the Dollhouse.”
I blinked. “Oh, Crystal, it’s fine.” I tried to wave it off, not really wanting to have this conversation, you know, ever.
“I shouldn’t have left you alone on your first night,” she said, shaking her head, not having any of it. “It’s just, my niece’s birthday is coming up, and there’s this gaming system she wants—” Trying to explain why she was so quick to go in the back with Roman and Carter, but really, she didn’t have to.
Even if money wasn’t involved, I understood. Both those men were fine as hell.
“It’s okay,” I said.
She looked at me with those blue eyes, their color a few shades darker than mine. “Good,” Crystal spoke with a smile.
I wasn’t one to kick people out of my place, but my pizza was almost done. “Is that all?”
Crystal blurted out, “He came looking for you, the next night.”
Inside my chest, my heart skipped a beat. “Who?” I shouldn’t have asked; it was obvious who she meant.
“Roman. He came to the Dollhouse looking for you, and when he found out you weren’t working, he left.” She let out a disbelieving chuckle. “He never just leaves. He always takes someone to the back—”
I honestly didn’t know what to make of that. “Why would he be looking for me?”
Crystal shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe because you’re new? Maybe because he wanted to see if he could get you to go in the backroom with him and Carter? I really don’t know. I’ve never seen him so disappointed before.” She bit her bottom lip, hesitating before she admitted, “He came to me and asked me when you were working next. I hope it’s okay, but I told him.”
I couldn’t blame her for wanting to remain on Roman’s good side. Being on his bad side seemed unhealthy.
“If you’d rather I didn’t, I can always go to Autumn and get your shifts moved around a bit—”
“No,” I cut in with a shake of my head. “No, it’s fine. I’ve actually been thinking about him a lot.” Not something I should’ve admitted, because once I did, Crystal’s gaze narrowed in curiosity. That, or she was preparing herself for a fight, like she was worried I’d steal Roman and the backroom from her.
“You have?” She still sounded civil, even though she gripped the counter behind her so tightly it sounded like her fingernails were dragging on it.
I tried to play it off. “Yeah, you know, I dated someone who was supposed to be a good guy all throughout high school. Found him fucking my sister one day—it wasn’t their first time, and both my parents knew about it before I did. Maybe it’s time for a palate cleanser, you know?”
She sighed. “Damn, that sucks, chick. Just be careful where Roman is concerned. And Carter. They’re both dangerous, not guys you want to get messed up in, unless you’re willing to pay the price.”
“Aren’t you messed up in them?”
“What I do with them is business. I don’t let my heart into the equation when it comes to work. You’re still new at this, but you’ll learn to keep the two separate eventually. I just hope you don’t end up making any mistakes with them.” Crystal pushed off the counter, giving me a sad smile as she reached for me, trailing her long nails down the side of my cheek. “This world swallows up anyone who isn’t ready for it. I’d hate to see that happen to you, Zoey.”
She said nothing else, and after she pulled away, she walked out, leaving me to my pizza, which I hurriedly had to take out—nearly burning my fingers in the process because I didn’t have anything good to pull it out with.
As I ate, my pizza haphazardly torn into pieces and piled onto a paper plate, I couldn’t help but wonder what that was about. I liked Crystal, I did, but at the end there, she seemed a little miffed that I’d admitted I’d thought about Roman.
Roman wasn’t hers, and it was obvious him and Carter had made the rounds through the Dollhouse. She had no reason to be jealous. None at all.
I wasn’t looking for commitment, for something that would last. All I wanted to do was forget what I was running from, take a blank slate to my past and let it go. Was that too much to ask?
The next time I had to walk to work, I ran into Lake in the hall. Thank goodness I had a jacket zipped up over my shirt. I still wore my pink tennis shoes; I wouldn’t give those up. However, I did take some of my money and buy some new tops.
Lake was taking his trash out, and he visibly brightened when he saw me. Today he wore a blue t-shirt coupled with faded blue jeans. The color brought out his eyes, made him look even brighter-eyed and bushier-tailed than he usually was. His blonde hair was a bit tousled, dimples on his cheeks as he grinned.
“Fancy seeing you again,” he spoke, hitting the elevator’s button before I could. This place didn’t have a trash chute; you had to take your trash down and throw it in the dumpster in the corner of the parking lot yourself.
All I did was smile at him and glance at the glass above the elevator doors to see what floor the elevator was at. It figured I’d leave my apartment the same time Lake did.
“Where are you going on this fine Tuesday night?” he asked, taking a teeny step towards me.
“Work,” I said, hoping he’d leave it at that.
“Really? Isn’t it kind of late—” He stopped when I met those baby blues and asked him my own question.
“Isn’t it late to take out your garbage?”
Lake grinned, clearly unaffected by my glaring. The man couldn’t take a hint, it seemed, because he kept inching closer to me. “I don’t like to procrastinate. I’d rather do it tonight than have it sitting and waiting for me tomorrow morning.”
The elevator doors finally opened, and I hurried inside, wishing I could close him out, stop him from getting on with me. Alas, I wasn’t so fortunate. Lake and I were the only ones on the elevator, so I’d be forced to talk to him more.
“Where do you work?” he asked, trying to pry more information out of me.
Was this what people did? Talked to each other like this? Maybe I was so out of touch with everything I couldn’t focus on the fact that he was just trying to be nice. Maybe. Or maybe Lake was only trying to get in my pants—I was wearing short shorts, after all. A bit of my butt cheeks might be hanging out.
I gave him a smile. “It’s a secret.”
Thankfully, the elevator didn’t stop at any other floors on its way down, so the doors opened moments after that. I was the first to step out, Lake right behind me, carrying his black bag of trash as he tried to catch up to me.
“Are you walking?” he asked, hurrying around me to hold open the building’s door with his back, letting me walk out first. “I could drive you—it’s probably safer than walking, I mean.” Was it just me, or were his cheeks a bit pink at the suggestion that he’d drive me?
“I’ll be fine,” I said, parting ways with him in the parking lot.
“Oh, okay. Well, have fun at work?” It sounded like a question coming from him, and even though I shouldn’t, I found myself smiling softly as I turned away.
I gave him a wave as I headed to the sidewalk near the road. That one… I needed to keep my guard up when it came to him. Just because he seemed nice did not mean he was actually nice, and you know what? I totally meant what I’d said to Crystal the other day: I needed a palate cleanser. No more douches pretending to be good guys.
I wanted a bad one. A dirty one. I wanted a man who wasn’t afraid to take what he wanted and never apologize for it.
I wanted a man like Roman.
