You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly

Chapter Twenty-Three

This can’t be happening.

Pacing the length of the police station, Stella watched the officers release the last two kids to their parents. Now, it was just her and Austin. And they wouldn’t let her take him home.

Because she wasn’t his guardian.

The Pilsons were. And they were on their way.

This is so bad.

Never in a million years could she have anticipated kids breaking in through a basement window. She hadn’t even known the Music Box had a basement. But the teens had come flooding in. And when the fire marshal had shut down the party, the police found alcohol, so the parents had to come pick up their kids.

The kids who couldn’t get ahold of their parents were brought to the station.

When a cop emerged from a room, she rushed towards him. “Hey, I’m Griffin James’s fiancée and Austin’s staying with us, so I really wish you’d let me take him home.”

“I’m afraid we can’t release him to anyone but a legal guardian.”

“I’m the guardian’s fiancée.” She flashed her ring.

“Yeah, I know. But to be honest, even if Griffin were here, I’d still have to release him to his grandparents.” Given his expression, the officer knew what it meant for Austin to go home with them.

“Please, that can’t happen. He lives with us.”

“Ma’am, I’m sorry. This is all over social media. That’s how they found out. Judge Pilson called us.”

“We didn’t do anything wrong. It was a good, nice party. None of the kids we invited drink. Austin doesn’t drink. We did everything—”

“I’m here.” A gust of cold air swirled around her ankles, rising like a wind tunnel until she was fully enveloped in it. Griffin stalked over to them. “Where is he?”

They looked behind him where Austin sat on a bench playing on his phone. Shoulders hunched, body slouched, he’d turned into himself. Griffin strode over there. “Hey, man. Happy birthday.” When the boy ignored him, Griffin turned back to the officer. “He’s staying with me while his dad’s deployed. I’m taking him home.”

“I’m afraid it’s not that simple. I have to release him to his grandparents.”

“No, he’s staying with me. He’s been with me since his dad left in October.”

“I’m sorry, Griffin. They’re his family, so you can resolve this with them when they get here. If they let you take him home, it’s fine with me.”

“He’s not drunk. He didn’t take drugs. And now I’m here, so why can’t I take him home? He didn’t do anything wrong. He lives with me.”

“They’re on their way,” the officer said. “Hang tight.” He went behind the desk to do some paperwork.

Griffin brushed past her to sit beside Austin. “This isn’t your fault. You know that, right?”

Austin lowered his phone. “I don’t want to go with them.”

“I know that. I’m going to take care of it.”

“You can’t. If my grandfather comes in and says he’s taking me home, he’s taking me home. And he’s going to be pissed at me.”

“They won’t hurt you, right?” Stella sat on the other side of him. “They’ve never physically hurt you?”

“No, it’s worse. My grandfather will ignore me and take my phone away. He’ll ground me, and I won’t be able to train anymore.”

“But you didn’t do anything wrong,” Stella said. “There’s no reason to do any of that.”

“I’ll talk to them when they get here,” Griffin said.

“If I go with them, I can’t have guitar lessons with Gigi.”

“You’ll still have your lessons when you come visit us,” Stella said.

“If he lives with the Pilsons, he’ll follow their rules.” Griffin didn’t look at her when he spoke. “We’re not going to have him sneak around and lie to them. It’ll just make things worse.”

“I’m not going home with them.” Austin sat up. “I don’t want to.”

“And you’ll tell them that,” Griffin said. “You’ll look them in the eyes and tell them you’re fifteen years old and you want to stay with me.”

Austin let out a huff of breath. “You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I can tell them that Peyton wants you with me. I can tell them that I want you with me, but I can’t tell them you’re better off with me. That has to come from you.”

“They don’t listen to me.” He lurched forward, elbows on his knees, pulling on the short strands of his hair.

Stella had never felt worse in her life. The one thing Griffin had tried to avoid—the reason he’d lied to his own family—was now on the verge of happening.

He’s going to lose Austin.

Because of me.

Because a simple pool party hadn’t been enough.

She’d gone over the top. And now Austin was in jeopardy. “Can I talk to you a second?”

Reluctantly, Griffin got up.

At the counter, she got an officer’s attention. “Do you have a room where we can have a little privacy?”

“Yeah, sure.” The officer pointed. “That one right there.”

They entered a plain room that overlooked the parking lot. It had an empty desk and a few chairs. She shut the door behind them. “I’m so sorry it turned out like this. Everything was going so well, we had all the access points covered, but they—”

“I don’t want to hear it. I told you this would happen. I told you to shut it down.”

“I know that, but he was so happy. You should’ve seen him. He was having fun, making friends.”

“Yeah, I get it. You wanted to do something great for Austin but look how it turned out. Exactly how I said it would. If I’d gotten your first message, I would’ve told you it’s not happening. Because if you’d thought about it for one second, you’d have realized that every kid there was going to upload pictures of Gigi Cavanaugh performing at a birthday party. And those videos would go viral just like that.” He snapped his fingers. “So, this was going to happen no matter what.”

How could she argue? He was right.

He pointed to the door. “And now the boy that I’m responsible for has to go live with the grandparents who demoralize him. Because you just can’t stop yourself, I’ve failed the job that matters the most to me: keeping that kid safe until his dad gets back.” He waved her off. “I’m done talking. I have to get out there.”

“Wait, I have an idea.”

He turned furious. “I don’t want any more of your ideas, Stella. It’s your stupid fucking ideas that got me into this ugly mess, that has me lying to my own family. Everything was going fine, and the minute you come back into my life, you turn it into chaos. The first time I see you in seven years, you lie about us being engaged? Jesus fucking Christ, the reason we broke up was your crazy plan to kiss your sister’s fiancé at her rehearsal dinner. It never stops.”

“Lower your voice. I can fix this.”

“With more lies? Because I’m done with them. That boy has had enough upheaval in his life to last a lifetime. The only thing I want for him is stability. And now, because you couldn’t do a simple damn pool party with a couple bags of chips, he might have to go live with the people who strip away everything that makes him happy. Everything that makes him Austin.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean for—”

“You never mean for the bad consequences because you never consider them. You had us engaged and buying a house without knowing anything about the situation. I can’t even keep track of all the lies. I’m sorry, Stella, but I don’t want to live on this razor’s edge with you anymore. This is over. We’re done.” He threw open the door and came to a hard stop.

A dozen people stood stock-still staring at them.

The police officers, her parents, Gigi, Coco and Beckett, Mr. and Mrs. James…and the Pilsons.

Her stomach heaved, and she went boiling hot. In the next instant, her blood went ice cold.

They’d heard everything.

For one brutal moment, she witnessed Griffin’s pain as he looked at his parents.

“We thought it would help if we came,” his dad said.

But then Griffin scrubbed his face clean of emotion and faced the Pilsons. “I’m sorry about tonight. About the lies. I hope you understand we were only trying to keep Austin safe.”

“That’s been our point all along,” Mrs. Pilson said. “He’s not safe with you.”

“You haven’t changed at all,” the judge said with disgust. “We’ll be filing a court order in the morning. You’ve done enough damage to our grandson.” And with that, the Hanging Judge of Calamity gripped Austin’s arm and led him out of the station.

When Griffin made a move to go, the officer blocked him. “He’s been through enough tonight. Let him go. Talk to them tomorrow when everyone’s cooled down.”

Griffin gave a curt nod and approached his parents.

Stella wanted to follow him, to apologize, explain…she really couldn’t take it if he were done with her again. Instead, she reluctantly headed toward her family. Her parents looked at her with nothing but pity, but Gigi and Coco were bristling with anger.

“Are you serious?” Coco asked. “You’ve been lying to us this whole time?”

“You have to hear the whole story. The first day I got here, I was bringing Austin home, and I overheard—”

“Are. You. Engaged. To. Griffin?” Coco asked.

“No.”

“You are unbelievable.” And with that, her sister grabbed Beckett’s hand and walked out of the station.

“Why?” Gigi looked caught between anger and a willingness to understand.

“Because I love them, and I was trying to make things better.”

“Yeah, well, the road to hell is paved with good intentions. God, Stella, when will you finally get that?”

* * *

Griffin paced the length of the pit room.

Cue in hand, Declan perched on the edge of the pool table. “I don’t know why you’re freaking out.”

“Because he’s with them.” Fuck, the way the Pilsons had looked at him...

He’s not safe with you.

You haven’t changed at all.

“Okay, but you said they don’t physically hurt him.”

What have I done?“You know how bad they are.”

“I know it sucks he’s there, but it’s not going to ruin him. At best, he’ll be there a night or two. At worst, he’ll stay until you hear from Peyton. But however long, he’s a good kid. He’s got balls. He’ll be fine.”

Declan was right. It wasn’t the end of the world. I’m overreacting. “I’m just so pissed at her. Even knowing what’s at stake, she still goes ahead and throws a blow-out fucking party.”

“No, that’s not what she did. She threw a party for sixteen kids. And she had her parents, her sisters, and brother-in-law there. She did a good job of covering all the angles. This could have happened to anyone.”

If everything Declan said made sense, why was Griffin so damn agitated? “Whose side are you on?”

“I’m on yours. Always yours. But you’ve got to look at this from a different perspective. You’re pissed at a woman who loves that kid enough to get him guitar lessons, put him in a snowboarding class, and throw him a fuckin’ awesome party.” He huffed out a breath. “You’re an asshole to let her go.”

“I have an obligation to Peyton, and as long as I’m with Stella, I can’t meet it.”

“Right because she’s out of control, that girl. She brought in strippers, had bowls of condoms in the bathrooms. She’s a real menace.” Declan tapped him with the pool cue. “She’s the best thing that ever happened to that kid. Even better than you.”

“Yeah, I’d almost bought into that for a minute there, but you’re wrong. The reason I’m not the ‘fun’ parent is for this exact reason. I’m trying to keep him safe until his dad gets home.”

“And she’s trying to help him grow into a good, strong man.” Leaning over, Declan lined up his shot, slid the cue between his fingers, and…crack. They both watched the ball drop into the pouch.

“The only thing on my mind is getting Austin back home with me.”

“You get him back by picking him up from his grandparents’ house.” Declan gave a chin nod. “So, do it.”

“I’m going to. I’ve got a message in for Peyton. As soon as he makes me legal guardian, I’ll be able to get him.”

“What the fuck’s the matter with you?” Declan tossed the cue onto the table. “We’re not those same kids standing in his courtroom. Look, I get it. What he said to us still haunts me—kidnapped? Prison…wrath of fucking justice?”

Griffin would never forget that terrifying day when he’d stood before the Hanging Judge of Calamity.

“By the facts of the law, you kidnapped a young man who ended up severely injured, cheating him of the life he’d worked so hard for. By the needs of justice, the four of you should go to prison for a long time. However, after taking into account the wishes of the Langstons and the community, the court hereby releases you.” The judge narrowed his eyes on them. “But know that if any of you show up in my court again, I will deliver the wrath of justice upon you.”

“But he said those words in the heat of the moment,” Declan said. “When it was fresh, when we didn’t know if Booker would get better. Everyone was scared and pissed at us. But Booker did get better, and we’re not those assholes anymore, so why’re you letting the judge swing his big dick around and intimidate you? He can’t do anything to you, Griff.”

“But he can do something to Austin.”

“So, get your ass over there, and give no apologies because you did nothing wrong, and get your boy back.” His friend shook his head like he couldn’t believe Griffin was so dense. “And then…you get your woman back.” He gave Griffin an incredulous look. “You dumped Stella. Again.”

He knew that. And that was the problem. He loved her. He didn’t want to live without her but look what she’d done. “She knew what was at stake, and she still couldn’t help herself. That woman’s nothing but chaos.”

“Nothing?” Declan asked. “She’s not the most positive person you’ve ever known?”

“You don’t have to sell me on her. I’m the one who’s so fucking in love with her I let her back into my life.” He was having a hard time breathing, and his friend just stared at him. “But I can’t live with her—not when I’ve got Austin.”

“Jesus Christ, how do I get through to you? You think if we could go back to that night and shut off our phones, ignore Jamie’s text, that we wouldn’t do it? You think, if any of us had a shot at a do-over, that we wouldn’t take it? This is your do-over. It’s right here, man. She’s here.” Declan exhaled. “I get it. You’re shook. We’re all still shook. But I don’t want to watch you give up your second chance at happiness because you can’t move on from something we did when we were eighteen.”

Griffin had to admit the truth. “I don’t know how to do that.”

“You want to let go of the past? Then start living in the present. And if you can’t tell the difference between the two, check and see if Stella’s in bed next to you. If she’s not, you’ll have your answer. You’re stuck in the past.”

Griffin was going to fix everything.

Last night, he’d barely slept. How could he when the house was so damn silent?

No stairs creaking or guitar strumming, no voices murmuring as Stella and Austin talked downstairs. The energy was gone, making him acutely aware of what he’d done.

He’d handled everything wrong.

Austin was with the Pilsons, and his heart was home with her parents.

Declan’s right. I’m stuck in the past.

That night ten years ago had smashed his sense of safety and immortality. It had shattered his idea of himself and his place in the world, and now it lived in him like a shard of glass pushing its way to the surface. If he rubbed his finger over the spot, he could feel the sharp edge. It was a constant reminder.

It was just…how did he get the image out of his head? Watching Booker’s body hit the ground…

He smacked the steering wheel. Seeing his friend’s crumpled body…Jesus, Griffin had never known terror like that. The heart-pounding, deal-making-with-God fear that Booker had died. The foreverness of it all. The stupidity of their reckless choices.

Heading north on 191, he neared the intersection where he’d turn right to get to the Pilsons.

His gut churned at the thought of confronting the judge. The shame, the remorse…the fucking guilt—

Wait a minute.

Guilt for what? I didn’t do anything wrong.

So, we threw a birthday party for Austin. So what—

And then it hit him.

Emotionally, he was stuck in that courtroom facing a judge who’d ripped his character to shreds.

But I’m not that kid.

I’m a grown man with a business.

I’m a good enough man that Peyton trusted me with his son.

I’m not bad.

I’m not reckless.

I’m not an irresponsible asshole.

Jesus, the revelation was fucking empowering.

It was as if he’d had Judge Pilson’s hands on his shoulders all this time, holding him down, and now he’d finally shrugged them off.

At the stop sign, he turned right because he had to get Austin back. That was the priority.

After, he’d get Stella.

Because he loved her. With everything in him, he loved that woman.

And he’d gone and hurt her again.

She hadn’t done anything wrong. And he didn’t think he could stand to let her think for another second that she had.

His stomach squeezed into a fist because…

This blow could be lethal. She might not forgive him for shutting her out a second time.

Griffin stomped on the brake. Jerking the gearshift, he backed up the truck in someone’s driveway and turned around.

Sorry, Austin. You’re going to have to get through breakfast with those fuckers.

It was time to live his life. Be a whole man.

And for the first time, he felt like one. A man.

And this man is going to get his woman.

Maybe he’d live with the trauma of that night for the rest of his life, but he didn’t have to let it control him anymore.

When he reached the Cavanaugh’s gate, he rolled down his window. Before he could press the intercom button, he heard her mom’s voice. “She’s not here.”

His stomach lurched. “Okay, where is she?”

“At your house.” He’d never heard that tone from Joss before. Cold, detached.

The edge of finality chilled him to the bone.

His heart nearly flipped over. “Okay, thanks, I’ll—”

“Packing up.”

“She’s moving out,” Tyler said.

“Is she moving in with you?”

“No, she’s not.” Joss’s tone held an edge of, Thanks a lot, asshole.

“I’ll take care of this. Thank you.” He had to get home before she left. Backing out, he turned onto the highway, hit the accelerator, and gunned it home.

It’s okay. I’ve got this. He finally understood what had been holding him back. He was finally free and clear.

She loved him. She’d hear him out. She’d understand.

There was very little traffic this Saturday morning, so he parked at the curb, cut the engine, and strode across the lawn. Throwing open the door, he shouted, “Stella?” Her scent filled the house.

She’s here.

At the bottom of the stairs, he gripped the banister and propelled himself up. “Stella.”

He burst into the bedroom to find an open suitcase on the bed. No. Adrenaline crashed his system.

It’s okay. I got here in time.

She came out of the closet with an armful of lingerie, saw him, and jerked to a stop. “Hey.” She skimmed around him. “I’ll be out of your hair in twenty minutes.”

“Nope.” He pulled the lingerie out of her arms and tossed it on the bed. “I don’t want you out of anything. I want you in my heart, in my bed, and in my life. I fucked up, and I’m sorry. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“Well, that’s nice.” She went back into the closet and yanked dresses off hangers. “I’d appreciate it if you’d leave. Like I said, I only need about twenty minutes.”

“Stella, I made a mistake. You know where that fear comes from.”

“Sure do.”

“But I see it now, and I don’t want to be like this anymore.”

“I don’t blame you. Shitty way to live. Must be pretty lonely in that little box.”

“I’m done with that. Last night was a knee-jerk reaction.”

She dumped the pile of dresses into the suitcase.

“Stella, listen to me. I only just figured out the impact that night had on me, how the judge affectedme. But I see it now. I’m working on it. Now, I can check it when it rears up.”

“That’s great.” She moved around him to scoop up shoes from the floor of the closet. “I’m happy for you.”

All those crazy high heels, some glittery, some shiny, all expensive and totally Stella.

He grabbed her shoulders and forced her to look at him. “Stella, I love you.” His voice cracked, along with his heart. “I love you so much, and I hate myself for pushing you away last night. I panicked, thinking I’d lost Austin. That I’d failed Peyton.”

Finally, she stopped moving. “Griffin, stop. Your words don’t mean anything to me. I care about your actions. And when we should’ve been a team, figuring out how to fix the problem together, you turned on me. You questioned my integrity and insulted who I am as a person. And I’m done with that. Do you hear me? I’m done feeling bad about myself because I don’t fit into your safe little box. I am always going to be a woman with a big personality and big ideas, and I’m not going to change, not even for you. So, you go back to your cold cereal life, and I’m going to keep on being lemon ricotta pancakes today and cinnamon roll French toast tomorrow.”

“No, that’s not what I want. That’s not what you want. Don’t give up on us.”

“Now, see, I’m not the one who did that. You did. Twice.”

“Where are you going?”

“New York. I’m getting my job back.”

“What? No. You don’t want to work for that woman. You want to run the show here. Diane gave you the job.”

“My sisters aren’t speaking to me, your family thinks I’m awful, and I’m sorry, but I just don’t want to live in a town that thinks of me as the sum of every bad decision I’ve ever made. This is who I am, and I’m obviously not going to change.”

“I don’t want you to change. I’m the one who has to change. And I will. I am.”

“Well, you go on and do it. I wish you the best—for your and Austin’s sake. But I can’t live my life waiting for the next shoe to drop, worrying that I’m going to make another mistake you can’t forgive. Waiting for those two words that break my heart every time. I’m always going to be too much chaos in your small, ordered world. So, this time, it’s my turn to say them.” She straightened her shoulders and tipped her chin.

Looking him right in the eyes, she said, “We’re done.”