You’re Still The One by Erika Kelly

Chapter Twenty-Four

Twenty minutes later,Griffin stood on the Pilson’s front porch in a daze. Before he knocked, he had to get his head on right, transition from the loss of Stella, and focus on bringing his boy home.

Drawing in a breath, he rapped on the door.

“Griffin, now isn’t the best time.” Mrs. Pilson peered out at him. “I wish you’d called. Let me get Leonard—”

Hard leather soles clacked on hardwood, and then the door swung open. Mr. Pilson, dressed formally in slacks and a cardigan sweater over a button-down shirt, gave him a stern look.

“Looks like you’re on your way out.” Griffin had no diplomacy left in him.

Seven years ago, Stella had fought for him with everything she had.

This morning…she’d let him go.

She wasn’t hurt. She was teary. She wasn’t angry.

She was flat.

She didn’t care.

I did that to her.

“We’re having friends over for brunch, so we don’t have time for a visit.” Mr. Pilson didn’t invite him in.

“I won’t be long. I’m just here to pick up Austin.”

The stern man narrowed those reptile eyes on him. He opened his mouth to speak, but Griffin was done walking on eggshells with these people.

“This isn’t a request. We’re not having a conversation about it. I’m responsible for Peyton’s son while he’s deployed, so I’m taking him home with me.”

“Does Peyton know what you did ten years ago?” Mr. Pilson asked.

He was done with intimidation, too. “Ten years ago, five best friends who thought they were invincible acted like dumbass eighteen-year-olds. Since that night, we’ve lived with the guilt of our bad choices. But I’m not that kid anymore, and I’m not going to be judged by a decision I made ten years ago.”

“You never paid the price of your actions, and therefore you never changed,” the man said. “That boy’s family should have pressed charges, and you should have gone to prison.”

“You know what’s really cool?” He grinned because he’d never felt lighter, freer, than in that moment. “Those words don’t make me shit my pants anymore. And it’s because now I know you were wrong about me. You were wrong then, and you’re wrong now. That night, we were all scared about the next phase of my life—Calamity was all we’d ever known, and we were heading off in different directions in a big, scary world—so we did something stupid. But you know what else I was? I was a good brother. I was a good student—good enough to get into USC. I was a good son. And a good friend. Now, step aside and let me get my boy. Because the fact is you’re not a judge anymore, and you’ve got no power in the courts or over me.”

“Do not underestimate my reach, young man.”

“Mr. Pilson, you don’t have any legal authority to keep him. You’re related by blood to a mother who has no legal custody and has never been in his life. If you don’t release him to me right now, I’ll go to the police department and have you charged with kidnapping, and I can assure you, Peyton will back me up because he was very clear that he wanted Austin with me and not you.”

The man took a step forward, features livid. “Don’t you dare threaten me—”

“Stop it.” Austin came out of the dark hallway in his bare feet, a long-sleeve T-shirt, and sweatpants. “Stop fighting.” His chest rose and fell with labored breaths. “I like living with Griffin. And I like Stella.”

“Well, liking them isn’t what’s important here,” the man said. “You need good role models. You need structure.”

“You need family,” Mrs. Pilson said.

“That’s the thing,” Austin said. “You don’t know what I need because you don’t know me. You don’t ask questions, and you don’t do anything with me. And you’re mad at them for lying, but you lie to me all the time. You try to trick me into doing things your way.” He tugged his hair at the roots. “I hate this haircut. You told me I was getting a trim, and you pretended to watch a football game.” He shot a look at his grandfather. “You don’t even watch sports, but you pretended you were into it so I wouldn’t notice that lady cutting my hair. So, you do it, too. You just tell yourself you’re doing it for my own good. But you’re not. You’re doing it because you want me to be like you. But I don’t want to play soccer or join the choir. I want to play my guitar.” His accusing glare toggled between his grandparents.

For a moment, neither responded. Both seemed a little uneasy. And then Mr. Pilson said, “You were playing the guitar deliberately to defy me.” But he’d lost some of his power.

“I was playing it because I like it. It makes me feel right in my head. I need to play it.” Austin took a breath, lowering his hands. “You say you want to give me structure but you really just want me to fit in some box. Griffin does all the things you want him to do like make sure I do my homework and eat vegetables and get enough sleep, but he also lets me be me.” He took a few breaths. “I’m going home with Griffin because that’s where I want to be, and that’s where my dad wants me to be. And if you have a problem with it, you can talk to my dad.” He turned and went into his bedroom.

Silence hung in the room. Pride filled him, and Griffin wanted to hug that boy. “I’ve been waiting for that.”

“To get your way?” Mrs. Pilson asked in a bitter tone.

“No, for him to find his voice.” But at the same time, it crushed him, because the only reason Austin had gotten there was because of Stella.

And they’d lost her.

The steak they’d grilled last night lingered in the air, along with the pine from the Christmas tree.

Which meant the house didn’t smell like her anymore.

To make things cheerful, he’d kept the lights on the tree, but it wasn’t working. It wasn’t about decorations or presents or a crackling fire or hot chocolate. It was about people. Relationships. Love.

It was about Stella. She was a star, and he was forever caught in her orbit.

He and Austin sat at the kitchen table, the only sound the clinking of spoons against bowls as they ate their cereal. He needed to talk to the boy like Stella did. “What did your dad say about the chocolate?”

“He said now they have to stay over there longer since there’s no way they can eat everything Coco sent them.”

They’d awakened this morning to an email from Peyton. He couldn’t talk on the phone, but he was okay, and he promised to write the Pilsons and tell them to back off. “Good to know he’s okay.”

“Mm-hm.” Austin spooned more cereal into his mouth.

Why did Stella find conversation with a teenager so easy? Try. “There’s no training this week because of the holiday break.”

“I know.”

“So, I thought we could go snowboarding ourselves every day after school.”

Austin stopped eating, his mouth just above the rim of the bowl. “Can I see if some of my friends want to come?”

“No, it’ll just be us. I don’t want to be responsible for your friends.” The words landed on the table like a dead fish.

I can’t believe I said that.

“You’re not responsible for them. We’re just boarding with them on the same slope.”

“I know. Sorry. Of course, you can invite them.”

“’K.”

Again, silence descended on them. Maybe he should keep those Christmas songs going all day long. That might cheer things up. “Juice?”

“Orange juice tastes gross after milk.”

Griffin grew exasperated. He’d relied on Stella to fill the silence—

No, that’s wrong. She had things to say because she was an interesting person who tried things, who put herself out there. She lived life. And she got Austin living his.

Stella told stories. She shared her thoughts.

What stories did Griffin have? “You want to come with me to the shop one day? I’ll show you this sick Ducati 900 I just finished.”

“Cool.” Austin shook out the last of the cereal into his bowl.

Griffin scraped his chair back. “You want me to make your lunch?”

“Nobody brings lunch. It’s lame.”

What?“You always bring lunch.”

“That’s because Stella made it.”

“Are you saying you didn’t want to hurt her feelings?”

“No, she made cool lunches. Everyone came over to see what I got.”

“So, I’ll make what she makes.”

“You can’t. You’re not like that.”

“Like what?”

“Fun.”

“I’m not fun? I’m taking you snowboarding after school.”

“Yeah, but that’s different. Stella’s always coming up with fun ideas. I never know what I’m going to get when I open my lunch.” He caught Griffin’s eye, obviously picking up on his confusion. “You’re a good person. You make my life good. But Stella makes it fun.” He slurped the rest of the milk out of the bowl. Finished, he dropped the spoon in and pushed his chair back. “It’s boring without her.”

“It really is.” When he was nineteen, he’d had stolen moments with her. It had been thrilling, exciting, and wild.

This time, he’d gotten to play house with her. He’d gotten to live with her, and no question about it, she brought joy and laughter and depth to his life.

He missed her. Only this time it was so much worse.

This was a soul-deep ache.

Griffin exhaled. “I blew it.”

“Obviously. So, why you’re just sitting around here? Get her back.”

“She moved to New York. She took a job.”

“No, she didn’t.” Disgusted, he put his bowl in the sink. “She told Diane she’d stay through the holidays because of all the weddings.” He started out of the kitchen but stopped, holding onto the frame of the door. “Ever since I was little, I put myself to sleep at night making up songs in my head. I only got to play them because of Stella. She’d just met me, but she got me better than anybody. You’re a dumbass if you let her go.”

When Griffin entered Calamity Joe’s, he found the three Cavanaugh sisters seated at a round table. He cut across the room and pulled out the fourth chair. “Hey, thanks for meeting me.”

Each had an espresso drink, and there was a basket of baked goods between them.

“I only have a few minutes,” Coco said. “It’s a huge week for us. Everyone buys last-minute chocolates for hostess gifts.”

He nodded. This wouldn’t take long. “I love your sister.”

They all stopped chewing.

“And I’ve lost her again. Last time, she fought for me, but I was too stupid to get out of my own head and be with her. This time, she’s not fighting. She’s done.”

“Well, that’s what she does,” Gigi said. “She runs. At least this time, she’s self-sufficient instead of taking off with my parents’ emergency credit card.”

“She’s taking off because we all kicked her to the curb.”

“Well, she lied to us,” Lulu said. “I can’t even wrap my head around the fact that I trusted her. I let her back into my life, and she…she was just lying to me the whole time.”

“And I’m here to tell you why.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Lulu said. “There are only so many times you can let someone back in.”

“God, I hope not, or else I’ve lost her for good. Let me ask you something.” He spoke to Coco. “Imagine you come home from work, you’ve got Posie with you, and you overhear someone telling Beckett that they just don’t understand why a grown man wanted to spend so much time with a baby girl.”

Coco bristled. “I’d tell them to fuck right off.”

“Okay, but what if the person was trying to take the baby away from Beckett? Because the Pilsons have been escalating their battle from the minute Peyton dropped Austin off with me. They found out before I did that he’d gotten suspended and showed up at my house. Would you tell them to fuck off if you knew they had the legal rights to take your baby away?”

“No.” Coco eased back in her seat.

That took the righteousness out of all three women.

“Right. Well, you know how hard Stella loves. She heard what the Pilsons said, and she was standing right next to Austin. So, she said we were engaged. And I could’ve told them we’re not. Right then and there, I could’ve debunked the whole thing. But…Christ, do you know what it’s like living with that threat every minute of the day? Peyton gave me a big responsibility, and then I’ve got these powerful people working behind the scenes to prove I’m unfit. I was relieved that the lie got them off my back. Trust me. She hated lying to you guys as much as I hated lying to my family. But for Austin?”

“It was worth it,” Lulu said.

“Damn right. And I’m going to bet you feel the same way I do, that having Stella in my corner makes me feel pretty damn invincible. If the ship’s going down, she’s not letting go of my hand and drifting off alone on her raft. She’s not only going to tread freezing water with me, but she’s going to send up flares and get the damn Coast Guard to come rescue us in the next five minutes.” He gave them a look that said, Am I right?

All three sisters cracked a smile, and Gigi nodded. “She’d absolutely do that.”

“You’re right,” Lulu said.

“So, what are you going to do?” Gigi asked “What do you want us to do?”

“I’m glad you asked. I have a plan, and I need all of you to help me pull it off.”

* * *

Stella threw open the door to find her entire family in the living room, waiting for her. “Sorry, I’m late. One of my brides had a total meltdown. After a year of planning, she’s decided she hates the cold, hates the mountains, and wants to get married on a beach.” She rolled her eyes.

Lulu sat stiffly, Gigi smiled, and Coco was changing a diaper, so it was only her mom who responded. “So, how did you talk her down off the ledge?”

“I told her she could totally do that, she’d just have a smaller guest list since a lot of people can’t afford the airfare, hotel, and the babysitting costs of a tropical wedding. Of course, she didn’t like that, so I suggested a beach honeymoon instead. And then she was back to the original plan and discussing hors d’oeuvres.” She dropped her purse on a side table. “Okay. Thank you guys for coming. I have something to say, and I’d rather talk to everyone at the same time.”

Finished snapping the onesie, Coco lifted her baby and set her on her lap.

“Number one, I’m staying in Calamity. I like my job—no, I love my job, and I’m damn good at it, so there’s no way I’m going back to running errands for Taji Nash.”

“I’m so happy to hear that.” Her mom started to get up, but Stella raised a hand. Hold on, please.

“Number two, it sucks being the baby of a family like this. I’m not like you guys. I don’t have an amazing singing voice or a passion for…well, anything.”

“You have a passion for life.” Lulu said it quietly but surely.

Startled, Stella took a moment to decide whether Lulu was slamming her or complimenting her. “Thank you. I think you’re right about that. And I think that’s what makes me a good party planner because when I’m pitching a certain menu or stock card, it comes from a place of truth. I really am that excited about finding just the right font. Anyhow, I decided that if I pick up and move every time I screw up, I’ll wind up being a nomad.”

“You didn’t screw up,” Lulu said.

Shocker number two had Stella’s jaw snapping shut. Was her sister seriously defending her right now?

“If I heard anyone insinuating Xander was a pedophile…who’s to say I wouldn’t have done the same thing?” Lulu said. “With Austin standing right next to you, you had a split second to turn the tide. And you said what you said.”

“I just wish you’d trusted us enough to tell us the truth,” Coco said. “There’s a cone of trust with sisters.”

“She would have eventually,” Gigi said.

“Okay, this is not what I was expecting when I walked in here.” But it was damn nice. “What I wanted to say is there’s never a good reason to lie or manipulate to get things done. Instead of telling the Pilsons we were engaged, I could’ve said I’ve known him for years and can verify he’s an amazing man and that my entire family and most of the town would back that up. And then I could’ve stood beside him as he continued to deal with whatever they’d thrown Griffin’s way.”

“Yes, you could’ve done that,” her dad said. “But then you wouldn’t be you. And, Stella, sweetheart, you’ve got big, bright ideas. You shine.”

“Thank you, Dad.” They were making this conversation awfully easy on her. “But the thing is, growing up the daughter of a Hall of Fame quarterback and a supermodel, the sister of a rock star and a world-class chef…you guys were larger than life. You’re all talented and driven and ambitious and…amazing. And I just wasn’t. And I think I learned to rely on my personality. I mean, seriously, you don’t know what dinner conversation was like for me. You guys had such big news to share, and what could I talk about? I got hit in the head by a volleyball. I didn’t get the lead role in the play.”

“Well, I didn’t have big news, either,” Coco said. “I don’t have any particular talent.”

“But you were driven, and you were involved in so many things. In any event, the only thing that worked for me was my ideas. I could just see it in people’s eyes when I’d suggest something, and when you get reinforcement like that…you run with it.”

“You’re so much more than your ideas, sweetheart,” her mom said.

“Well, thank you.” Leaning into her finale, she turned to Lulu. “So, I’m sorry I kissed Trace. Worst idea ever. And I’m sorry I lied to Austin’s grandparents. Second worst idea ever. But I’m not sorry for who I am. So, I’m staying. I’m keeping my job. And you guys can either accept me”—love me—“for who I am, or you can go back to hating me.”

Her mom stood up. “We love you.”

“No one hates you, drama queen.” Coco passed the baby over to her dad, got up, and hugged her. “You’re my sister, and I love you, and you don’t need to run away whenever you do something stupid.”

Tears spilling down her cheeks, Stella choked on a laugh.

“I think you’re pretty badass, and there’s no one I’d rather have in my corner.” Lulu joined the hug.

Stella found herself in the middle of a circle of love and affection, and she let it sink in.

I’m finally home.

Now, she had to figure out what to do about Griffin.