Reconcile by Nicole Dykes

I’m still reelingfrom Sawyer’s entrance back into my life and his threats. But I feel deep in my bones that he isn’t going anywhere this time. I know I need to deal with it.

I take a deep breath and exit my car, looking at the large beachside estate that’s now Sawyer’s residence. It looks pretty much like the houses we grew up in, but with a California beachy feel.

I’m startled when I see a pretty brunette beat me to the front door. She’s petite, and her hand is occupied with a little boy who’s humming a song happily as they approach the door.

Her eyes meet mine first, and then the little boy notices me. “Who are you?”

“Baz . . .” his mom shushes him and then looks up at me with some sort of recognition. “Piper?”

That’s when it clicks. “Vivienne Crenshaw?”

Her smile is bright as she sweeps her bangs that are blowing around in the breeze out of her eyes, and my eyes catch the glistening rock on her finger. “Sterling now, but yes. How are you?”

“I um . . .” My eyes shift around, looking at the front door and then back at Vivienne. “I’m okay.”

She gives me a knowing smile and then ruffles her son’s hair. “Well, this is Sebastian, or Baz as we call him. Sawyer is supposed to be watching him this evening, but he doesn’t appear to be home yet.”

“Shocker.” I know I sound hostile, but she doesn’t flinch. “You let him watch your child?”

The little boy looks up at me with bright, happy eyes. “Swearer is the bestest!”

I stare at him in surprise because there’s no doubt from his tone that what he said is true. Vivienne wraps her arms around him. “He and Baz connected quickly. Sawyer’s really great with him.”

I don’t know what to say. The Sawyer I knew was a child, and the one I’ve had a glimpse of lately is still a spoiled child. “So, he’s not home?”

She shakes her head. “More than likely, he got held up at work. Linc likes to run him ragged, but I’m sure he’ll be home soon.”

I look at my cellphone for the time. I asked Angela to stay a little later with Audrey tonight, but I don’t want to be too late. “Damn.” I look at the little boy. “Oh, sorry. Darn.”

He giggles. “She swears too!”

Vivienne shakes her head, smiling and clearly full of love for her little boy. Who knew the super serious Vivienne Crenshaw would grow up to be a great mother so full of joy? I haven’t seen even a glimmer of a frown on her face.

Of course, kids have a way of making things seem brighter, until some asshole comes swooping in and threatens to take them away from you.

“Do you want to wait at our house? It’s right down there.” She points down the street, and as much as part of me craves adult conversation that isn’t about real estate, I’m reluctant.

“Oh. No, thank you. I really need to get home.”

“I’m sure he’ll be here very soon,” she adds, and I relent.

“Okay, sure. Thank you.”

I walk with her and her son to their home, and we go in the front door. I smile when I look around, having expected a sterile, fancy home from what I saw on the outside. But when we go inside, it’s readily apparent a child lives here.

The home is kept up, but there are toys spread out and lots of artwork. “Come on in.” Viv directs me toward the sofa in the living room, and I take a seat. She turns to her son. “Why don’t you go back to drawing some pretty pictures, Baz? I’m going to talk to Piper for a few minutes.”

“Not pretty, Mom!” Baz whines in an adorable way with his little hand on his hip. “Cool.”

Vivienne holds up her hands in mock surrender. “I’m sorry. You’re right. Cool pictures.”

He’s satisfied with that and heads to a small table in the corner of the living room that’s covered in paper and crayons.

“So, Sawyer told us what he did.” That grabs my attention as I stare at her, trying to decipher what exactly she’s talking about. She adds, “The ultimatum.”

“Oh.” I feel the frown lines forming around my mouth. “Yeah.”

I wait for her to defend him. I know they had a thing before Asher and she married, and clearly she’s fond of him. “He’s such a dick.”

I gape at her. “What?”

She laughs and shakes her head in disbelief. “I mean, I know why he did it, but Jesus.” She shakes her head again. “He’s an idiot.”

I’m not sure if this is a trap or not. “He is.”

She laughs effortlessly. “I know it came from a good place, Piper. Which I’m sure you don’t want to hear right now.” I don’t, but I don’t interrupt her. “He wants to be a good dad.”

“By threatening me?”

“Yeah. But don’t worry, I reamed him out for that and told him that’s not the way to go about it. I think he’s scared and horrified he wasn’t around.”

“I didn’t want him around.”

She nods knowingly. “I can’t blame you.” She can’t? I thought she would hate me for keeping this from him. Her hand touches my shoulder gently. “But aren’t you kind of tired of doing it all alone?”

I’ll never admit that out loud. “I’ve been fine. I can handle it.”

She nods reassuringly as she places both her hands in her lap. “I have no doubt you can, but for what it’s worth, I do think Sawyer would make an excellent father.” She looks over at her son and smiles. “You should see him with Sebastian.”

“I can’t picture it.”

“That’s because you knew the cocky, young douchebag.” Her eyes meet mine with a grin on her lips. “Not the older cocky, slightly less of a douchebag.”

I actually laugh at that. “You’ve fallen for his charm.”

“And he has a lot of it, but I promise you he’s changed.”

I think about the other day. The threats he made. The way he looked at the apartment where Audrey and I live. “I’m not sure he’s changed for the best.”

“He handled it poorly, but I think you should think about giving him a chance. He’s going to keep messing it up. But I think he’ll try to be a good father, much better than what we all had.”

I look around her extravagant home and try to swallow the sickening bile forming in the back of my throat. “I don’t want Audrey growing up spoiled. And naïve to the world. Searching for love.”

Like I did.

I don’t have to say it, though, and if anyone can understand that, I’m sure it’s the woman sitting next to me. “I get that. I was so worried about that too, but somehow I think Baz gets the best of both worlds.”

“How do you mean?”

She looks almost sheepish. “He has money and everything he could ask for, but he also has love. So much love. And we set boundaries and have expectations, but not ones that are unachievable.”

That part hits home. No matter what I did growing up, it was never enough. Never. I don’t want Audrey to ever feel that way.

“Does he go to a private school like we did?”

She nods, but she’s smiling, “Yes. Asher actually works there. It’s different from what we knew. It’s not cold. It’s bright and encouraging. I can promise you this, if Asher thought for one moment it was damaging Baz instead of benefiting him, he wouldn’t be going to school there, and Asher wouldn’t be working there.”

“But don’t you think a public school would keep him more grounded?”

She looks like she’s thinking that over. “I’m not sure. All I know is I don’t want to punish my child for the sins of my parents. I want him to have the best, and I want him to be a good person. It’s a constant battle, but it’s one I’m willing to fight.”

How can you admire someone you only just met?

I mean, I knew of Vivienne in high school, but I don’t remember ever having a conversation with her before today.

“I’m afraid of screwing it all up.”

She wraps an arm around me and pulls me close. “We all are. Being a parent is terrifying. Some days it feels inevitable that we’re going to screw it all up, but then they look up at you with these big adoring eyes, and you see all the good in the world from that one gaze.”

I smile because I know exactly what she’s talking about.

“I don’t want her tainted by wealth.”

“Don’t let her be. But don’t overcorrect. Wealth isn’t bad. Greed is. Selfishness is. Sawyer isn’t really those things.”

“You didn’t hear him the other day.”

She cringes and shakes her head. “Ugh. Like I said, he’s an idiot. But give him a chance. I think he wants to do the right thing.”

She smiles as the door bursts open, and Sawyer walks inside in a rush. “Fuck, Viv. I’m sorry. I know I said . . .” He freezes as he takes in the scene before him, no doubt shocked to see me sitting next to Vivienne.

Baz jumps up and runs to Sawyer, wrapping his arms around his waist. “Swearer! You said a bad word!”

Sawyer kneels down and hugs the kid affectionately. “Well, I gotta keep earning my nickname, don’t I?”

Baz nods his head excitedly. “Mommy said we’re hanging out tonight.”

Sawyer grins, the smile wide and happy. “We are, buddy. I was thinking some slasher films. Maybe some liquor. Loose women.”

Vivienne stands and places a hand on her hip. “Yeah. No.”

Sawyer winks at Baz as he stands up to face his mother. “Fine. Superhero movies and popcorn. Maybe some soda. Just us boys.”

“Not too much soda, Sawyer. Last time he was up until one in the morning.”

His gaze shifts to me. “What are you doing here?”

There’s no malice in his voice. It’s more like curiosity, but Vivienne walks over to him and smacks his chest. “Be nice. You’re lucky she’s in the same state as you after the sh—” she looks down at Baz and quickly corrects, “stuff you did.”

Baz giggles, and she takes his hand. “Let’s give them a minute to talk, buddy. Asher won’t be home for another half hour anyway.”

“Okay, Mommy.” Baz leaves, and I see Vivienne motion toward me, encouraging Sawyer to talk to me before they exit the room.

I had every intention of telling him to go fuck himself before I ran into Vivienne. But after talking with her and seeing Sawyer with Baz just now, I’m not sure what to do.

His eyes meet mine, and he actually looks marginally nervous, maybe even a little ashamed.

I know I need to guard my heart and be intelligent.

I also know with this man, that’s never been possible for me.