Reconcile by Nicole Dykes
“No, not like that, Swearer.”I look at Audrey, who has an adorable scrunched up expression on her face while she tries to teach me how to braid her Barbie’s hair.
“What am I doing wrong?”
She laughs at me, covering her face and shaking her head. “You have to use three strands of hair.”
I look down at the doll’s hair, noticing I only have two. But damn it, this is hard. Audrey, however, is a total pro as she takes the doll from me and shows me again. Her little fingers are quick. “You’re really good at this.”
She’s beaming as she looks up at me. “It’s not hard, Swearer.”
I’m gonna have to get Baz for that. My daughter calling me “Swearer.” I’d prefer Dad, but I’m not sure when that’s ever going to happen.
“Try again.” Audrey places the doll on my lap and laughs.
Still, I’m happy that she calls me anything. That I’m here with her, getting to know her.
“Does Mommy really have to go tonight?”
I attempt a braid again, not wanting to answer the question. When Piper told me she wanted to go out on a date, I thought I was going to die. Dramatic, I know, but I didn’t see that coming. I thought maybe we were on our way to some sort of reconciliation, that maybe she’d let me kiss her again and make it right.
But no . . . She’s upstairs in her room right now, getting ready for her date.
I try to swallow my pride and put a smile on my face as I tell Audrey, “Yeah, but we’re going to have so much fun, you won’t even notice she’s gone for a bit.”
She giggles. “Okay. But I don’t want her to go.”
Me either, kiddo.
I hear high heels clicking on the wood floor and look up, stunned when I see Piper. She’s always gorgeous. She doesn’t even have to try, but when she tries . . . Jesus Christ, she’s beyond stunning.
Her long brown hair is down in waves, framing her beautiful face. Her golden eyes are rimmed with black liner and mascara fanning out her already long eyelashes. The red lipstick she’s wearing highlights plump, kissable lips. and her dress . . .
It makes me homicidal that some prick from her office will see her in this dress.
It’s white with subtle gray dots and fluttery sleeves that just barely cover the top of her arms. The deep V of her neckline shows off a hint of cleavage. Her dress is short enough to showcase her long tan legs but is classy and elegant at the same time.
So damn Piper.
Audrey races toward her. “Mommy! You look pretty!”
Piper’s laugh is effortless as she wraps her arms around Audrey and kneels down to her level. “Thank you, sweetie. Are you going to be okay?”
Audrey looks back at me over her little shoulder and shrugs. “I’ll take care of him.”
Piper laughs, and I can’t help my own chuckle as I stand to approach them. “You look nice.”
Piper stands, her face morphing into a stoic expression. “Thank you. Text or call if you need anything. Anything at all.”
“We’ll be fine, Piper.”
She gnaws on her bottom lip as she looks back at Audrey. “It’s silly.” Her eyes meet mine, and her voice grows quiet. “I work. So I have to trust her with others. Most nights, you’re here with her for an hour before I get home, but this . . .”
Her hand lays over her stomach, and I can see the nerves eating at her. I sigh, fucking hating this but knowing she deserves it. She spent many selfless years taking care of our child alone.
I remove her hand from her flat stomach and hold it in my hand. “Piper.” Her eyes meet mine. “It’s okay to do something for yourself for once. Working, that’s for Audrey. To provide. It’s okay to go out and have a good time.”
Yup, I think that’s bile in the back of my throat, but I try to swallow away the bitter taste.
She doesn’t pull away from me. In fact, she moves in closer. “I feel guilty. Like I should be here with her.”
I want that so badly. For her to be here with Audrey. And me.
“It’s just a couple of hours.” I force a smile. “Besides, I have a lot of fun things planned with Audrey.” My fake smile turns into a playful grin. “She’s not going to be thinking about you while we’re drinking soda and eating candy ’til we puke.”
Audrey chooses to listen then and runs over. “No puke!”
Piper laughs as I release her hand. “That’s right, Audrey. Keep him in line.” Her eyes pin me. “No soda.”
“But the candy is fine.”
“Sawyer . . .” she admonishes, but she’s smiling.
“Go have fun, Piper. We’ll be fine.”
She smiles and grabs her purse, pulling her keys out. “Thank you.”
“He isn’t picking you up?”
She moves toward the door, and Audrey and I follow. “No, I thought it would be better if I met him there. That way I don’t have to explain all this . . .” She waves her hand around the house.
“Hmmm . . .” I still think he should pick her up, but I keep quiet. “Have fun.”
She bends down and hugs Audrey. “You guys have fun too.” She squeezes our daughter tightly. “I love you.”
“I love you too, Mommy.”
Piper stands, taking a deep breath and another long look at Audrey before saying to me, “Thank you.”
“No problem.”
She walks out the door, and my heart feels like it might shatter into a hundred pieces, but I focus on hanging out with Audrey.
That’s what I want. More time with my kid. And to earn the right to be called her father.
Even if watching Piper walking away kills me.
