Reconcile by Nicole Dykes
I’m gutted. Yet again. And I’m angry.I can’t sleep, no matter how hard I try. I’m not sure why this bothers me more than him just being a horny teenager and sleeping with my sister, but it’s eating away at me.
I throw back the covers and climb out of bed, checking on Audrey and finding her out cold in her bed before going downstairs. I search for Sawyer on the main floor, but he’s nowhere to be found. I go into the basement, which is where I find him.
Shirtless and in a pair of shorts, he’s pummeling a punching bag over and over with bare fists. Sweat is pouring from him, and my eyes are fixed on the tattoo on his muscular chest. “Sawyer.”
He continues his assault, ignoring me. I see the anger in his eyes. But I also see the drain of the past on him. The same I feel.
“Sawyer,” I say louder, and this time, he hears me and stops but doesn’t move. I approach him slowly, my hands trembling. “Is that really why you slept with her?”
He scoffs coldly as he lands another angry punch on the bag. “I didn’t.”
“What?”
He turns to face me. “I didn’t fuck her.”
Now it’s my turn to get angry. I fold my arms over my stomach and glare at him. “I saw you.”
“No. You saw her on me. Naked. And yeah . . . that’s just as bad, but I didn’t actually fuck her, and I was going to stop it. Everything got out of control.”
“What? Your plan to send Spencer a picture of you fucking Paisley?”
“What are you talking about?” He looks confused. But maybe it’s an act.
“Spencer said you sent him a picture.”
“Mother. Fucker.” He slides down to the floor, his back against the wall and his knees up. “She sent him that picture.”
“Paisley?” I slide down to the floor too, ignoring that my sleep shorts are pretty damn short and they slide up when I do.
“Yeah. She took a picture. I thought it was weird. I deleted it, but I guess she sent it before I did.”
My eyes flutter closed as I fight tears. “But . . . you were naked with her. It sure looked like sex.”
“It didn’t go that far. But it was just as bad. I can’t make excuses for it, Piper. It was fucked up. I wanted to push you away. I knew you were too good for me.”
“That’s stupid.”
He laughs humorlessly, dragging fingers through his hair. “Clearly, I wasn’t wrong.” His tortured eyes meet mine. “When you told me you loved me, I fucking panicked. All of a sudden, I saw your future go up in flames.”
“You weren’t that bad, Sawyer.”
“I wanted to fight against everything we knew. I wanted to burn that fucking notion of becoming my father to the ground. But I didn’t want you to go up in flames too.”
“So, you pretended to sleep with my sister.” It’s not a question. It’s a fucking mess, though, and too much for my muddled brain to wrap around at the moment.
“I ran into her at that party. She was upset. I was upset after a really shitty week where my father reminded me nonstop of how worthless I was and how he wanted Spencer with Paisley.”
I know his father was hard on him, as was Spencer. “You could have talked to me.”
He laughs again and brushes it off. “Now, that would have been the mature, smart thing to do, Piper. That never would have occurred to me.”
“Don’t do that.”
“What?” His eyes are locked on mine, and he looks so damn vulnerable.
“Put yourself down. That was your father and Spence. I saw more.”
“You loved me.”
My heart clenches tightly in my chest, and a single tear escapes and slides down my cheek. “I did.”
“You were young and naïve.”
“Fuck you, Sawyer.” My words have no malice behind them. He’s already beaten down, and I don’t really want to knock him down further.
“You shouldn’t have.” He looks nearly distraught as he reaches for my hand, and I let him take it. “I’m sorry. I’m so fucking sorry for so many things.”
He is. I can feel it.
I don’t think it’s an act. I think Spencer is an ass.
“We can be friends.”
A small laugh escapes his mouth. “Okay.”
“Okay.” I shake his hand in agreement, and he smiles, shaking back.
Friends.
