Waste My Time by Kelsey Clayton

Pathetic doesn't even beginto describe me as I sit outside of Zayn and Amelia's bedroom. After trying to talk to Kennedy for two days straight with no success, I am clinging to any ounce of her I can have. And sitting here, knowing she's only a few feet away, hearing her laugh with Amelia, it helps me breathe.

I'll take what I can get, and I won't apologize for it.

Over the last seventy-two hours, the initial shock of the pregnancy has worn off. It may have taken Tessa lecturing me for at least four of those for me to believe that I'm not exactly the devil reincarnated, but I came to terms with it. That's why I've been trying to talk to Kennedy. I wanted to come up with a plan and promise her that I'm here for whatever she needs. The last thing I expected was for her to tell me she doesn't need me involved. To give me an out, as she called it.

Well, I don't fucking want it.

It's half past nine by the time the door opens and they step out. I look up at Kennedy to find she's only mildly surprised at me sitting by the door, but before I can talk to her, she steps around me and runs down the stairs. I call her name but by the time I get up and get to the landing, she's already rushing out the door.

My fingers lace into my hair, and I tug in frustration. “Son of a bitch!”

I grab the closest thing to me—the third remote we've bought for the TV due to the rest going missing—and launch it across the room. It crashes into the wall and shatters while putting a dent in the sheetrock, but it does nothing for my frustration.

Amelia throws her head back and groans. “I just bought that! Now I have to order another one.”

I ignore her whining and bring the conversation back to something that matters. “She wants to raise the baby on her own. Did she tell you that? She told me she doesn't need me.”

She gives me a sympathetic look. “I know. I heard.”

“What the fuck am I supposed to do with that? I can't just...she can't—”

There are no words for what's going through my mind.

The panic.

The fear.

The feeling of no control.

My sister comes over and wraps her arms around me as I break. “Relax. She's just going through a lot right now.”

“She's going to keep shutting me out.”

“She won't.”

I rest my head on her shoulder. “Did she say anything to you? How she's feeling? What she's thinking? Anything at all?”

“No,” she answers sadly. “The only thing she wanted to do is plan the wedding. All conversations regarding you or babies were off-limits. It was wedding only.”

Everything in me freezes as an idea comes to mind. It's crazy, unpredictable, and maybe a little psychotic, but it could work. It will work. I put my hands on Amelia's cheeks and press a hard kiss to her forehead.

“You're a fucking genius,” I tell her.

“Uh, thank you?”

Pulling my keys out of my pocket, I slip past Amelia and break for the door. She watches me like I've lost my mind as she follows me outside.

“Where are you going?”

I can't tell if the shiver that runs through me is because of the cold, or because of what I'm planning on doing. Regardless, nothing is going to change my mind.

“Home.”

She throws her hands in the air. “You are home!”

But I don't stop to explain. Getting into my car, I throw it in reverse and whip out of the driveway.

This is going to work.

I STAND IN THE middle of campus, searching for the only girl who makes me want to be a better person. Students fill the courtyard as they move from one class to another, but when my eyes land on Kennedy, it's like none of them even exist. She's walking with Tye on one side of her and Amelia on the other. One of them must say something funny, because her face lights up as she laughs.

Doing everything I can to keep the nerves at bay, I grip the small velvet box in my hand and walk determinedly over to her. It's now or never. The moment the three girls see me, they stop. Amelia's brows furrow as she notices the look on my face, but I'm too busy paying attention to Kennedy. Because that's what she does when she's around, and I was stupid to ever let anyone else have my attention before.

Kennedy sighs as I stand in front of her, but her eyes widen as I drop down on one knee.

“What the hell are you doing?” Amelia asks.

Tye presses her fist to her mouth in an attempt to conceal her laughter, but she fails miserably. Kennedy glances between them and then back at me.

“Easton, get up,” she tells me.

I shake my head. “No. Not until I do this.”

“Don't,” my sister whispers harshly. Tye reaches out for me, shaking her head, but I shrug her off.

People around us stop to watch as I open the box and show Kennedy the ring—a princess-cut diamond encased in white gold that belonged to my grandmother.

“Marry me, Kennedy,” I say firmly. “I want to marry you.”

“Easton,” she breathes, sounding regretful.

I reach forward and grab her hand. “I'm serious. I want to get married.”

She pulls her gaze from mine and looks around for a second. “I'm having a baby. A baby that just days ago you suggested aborting.”

“I know, but I want to marry you anyway.”

“Anyway?” she scoffs. “As if our baby is just some extra feature you'll deal with to get your way?”

Fuck. “No. I didn't mean it like that.”

“How else does it mean?”

As my knee starts to sink into the wet ground, I stand up. I try to take her into my arms, but she backs away before I can get anywhere close.

“Please. Marry me so we can be a family.”

She stays completely still for a second, thinking it over, and my heart drops as she shakes her head and takes another step away from me. “I'm sorry. No.”

Everything inside me feels like it's on fire. Burning and melting and scorching all I had left. Her rejection is a level of pain I've never felt before. And as she leaves me standing there, the ring still safely in the box, I don't know if I'll ever recover from this.

I PACE BACK AND FORTHacross Tessa's oversized living room. With everything running through my head, I honestly didn't know where else to go. I couldn't go home where Amelia would find me and demand to know what on earth I was thinking. I couldn't go to Kennedy's, because I'm clearly the last person she wants to see. So, I texted Tess to find out if she was home or at Safe & Sound, thus ending up here—in the penthouse she shares with Asher.

Tess sits on the couch, watching me, as I practically create track marks into her rug. She's yet to say anything since I got here, but then again, I haven't really given her the chance. I don't know where to start.

Asher comes out of the bedroom wearing a suit and tie. “What's wrong with him?”

Tessa purses her lips and tilts her head, her eyes never leaving me. “I'm not sure. I think he's broken.”

Her boyfriend chuckles and bends down to kiss the top of her head. He never has been my biggest fan. Then again, I can't say I blame him. I tried to steal the woman he loves. Granted, she was mine first, but she was always meant to be with him. And then to top it off, I nearly killed her. I'd hate me, too, if I were him.

“I'll see you when I get home later,” he tells her. “You going to be able to handle him?”

She nods. “He's harmless.”

“My memory says otherwise.”

He sends me a warning glare that barely even registers as he steps into the elevator, and then he's gone, leaving me alone with Tessa. She sighs heavily and gets up. Without missing a beat, she puts her hands on my shoulders and stops me from my continuous pacing.

“Snap out of it!” she demands.

Everything in me feels like it crumbles to the floor. “She said no. I asked her to marry me and she said no.”

“And you thought that would go any other way?”

My head drops. “I want her to marry me.”

“Easton.” Walking me over to the couch, she makes me sit down and she takes the place beside me. “This girl has had her whole life turned upside down in the matter of a month. Just because she's pregnant doesn't change that you destroyed her trust in you by lying to her. And then you made her feel like the baby you two made together was a massive mistake by suggesting she get an abortion. Did you even ask her to marry you, or did you just tell her to?”

As she lists my wrongdoings, the realization of how much I've put her through really settles in. What the fuck is wrong with me? She deserves none of that. Kennedy is heaven-sent. She deserves someone to cater to her every whim, not make her feel like she's anything less than perfect.

I run my hands over my face. “I really fucked up, didn't I?”

“Yeah,” Tess says sadly. “You did. But you can fix this. It'll take a lot of work, but you can do it. Show her she can trust you. That you're responsible and can be the father she needs for this baby. That's the priority. Everything else comes after.”

“Do you think one day she'll marry me?” I ask, my voice laced with hope.

She shrugs with a sympathetic smile. “I don't know, but I do know how hard you fight for something you want. Just make better choices this time.”

She's right. I can fight for her.

I'm going to fight for her.

And I'm going to win.

THE PHONE RINGS IN my ear as I stand next to my car in the middle of downtown North Haven. Traffic drives by me, making cold wind blow through my hair. For a moment, I think she isn't going to answer, but when I'm about to end the call and try again, she picks up.

“Yeah?”

“Amelia,” I huff, relieved.

She hums. “What's up? Everything okay?”

“I need you to get Kennedy to our house.”

Her groaning in the distance tells me she pulled the phone away from her ear just to whine. “I told you I really don't want to get involved.”

Shit. This plan completely relies on her being at my house. “Please. I promise this will be the last time. I just need her there.”

She goes quiet, not saying no but not agreeing either. I hold my breath as I wait for her response and mentally beg for this to go my way. If she can just get her there, I can handle the rest. All I need is for her to pull her best friend strings and make it happen.

“Fine,” she caves. “But this is the last time. After this, I'm Switzerland.”

“Deal. Thank you!”

PULLING UP TO MY house, my heart pounds inside of my chest as I spot Kennedy's car parked out front. It's been three days since she shot me down in the middle of a crowded courtyard, but this is going to be different. This will work in my favor.

I walk around the car and grab the medium-sized box from the passenger seat. Heading inside with a pep in my step, I open the door and find most of my friends sitting in my living room. When my eyes meet Tye's, I immediately turn to Zayn.

“Did you hide all the knives?”

He chuckles. “Yes.”

Focusing on Carter, who has his girlfriend planted comfortably on his lap, I give him a look. “Your girlfriend is a psycho. Did you know that?”

Carter smiles and wraps his arms around her, looking up at her in awe. “I know.”

“Match made in hell,” I grumble to myself.

My gaze lands on Kennedy, and everything goes still. She's looking anywhere but at me and clearly uncomfortable, but she's here. She came. That's all that matters.

I carry the box over to her and put it down at her feet. She hesitantly glances over at Amelia and then back at me. I give her a hopeful grin as I lift the lid and pull out the adorable eight-week-old golden retriever puppy.

“This is Baylor,” I say to her.

Amelia and Tye both coo at the sight of the little fluff ball, but Kennedy's response once again isn't what I was hoping for.

“Whose dog is that?” she questions.

My brows furrow. “He's ours. I bought him today, at the pet store downtown.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose in frustration. “You've got to be kidding me right now.”

Amelia comes over and takes Baylor out of my hands. “Excuse me while I just...”

As she carries the puppy over to Tye and they sit on the floor to play with him, Kennedy gets up and storms into the kitchen. I know they said pregnancy hormones are intense, but fuck. I'm starting to think there is literally no pleasing her anymore. Still, I follow her anyway, because I promised myself I would fight for her.

“A puppy?” she sneers as soon as I get in there. “We're having a baby, and you decide that now is the best time to get a fucking puppy?”

“I thought it would make you happy,” I try.

She scoffs. “And why on earth would I be happy about that?”

I grip the island to keep my anger in check. “Because it shows you that I can be responsible!”

“Seriously? You think that being able to take care of a puppy is the same thing as raising a baby?” Her voice gets louder with every word. “They are nothing alike, and the fact that you think that they are speaks volumes to me.”

My restraint starts to slip as I realize everything I do only seems to get thrown back in my face. “I'm just trying to win back your trust! I'm fucking trying here, Kennedy!”

She huffs and closes her eyes for a moment, and when she opens them again, she's more determined than ever. “You want me to take you seriously? To trust you again?”

“Yes!”

“Then tell me what your nightmares are about.” Her words hit their target as she looks at me expectantly. “Explain them to me. Paint me a picture.”

My chest tightens at the request. The memory runs through my mind vividly, crystal clear images I could explain in detail. But as I open my mouth, nothing comes out. I can't. It's not my story to tell.

I shut my eyes and pinch my lips together as I drop my head in defeat.

“That's what I thought,” she says softly. “Enjoy your new puppy.”

She leaves me standing in the kitchen as she walks through the living room and straight out the door. By the time I reach the doorway to the kitchen, she's already gone. I stare out the window and watch as she gets in her car. As she drives away, I look over at my sister and my friends playing with Baylor.

I'm starting to think there is no winning here.