Waste My Time by Kelsey Clayton

It'sthree in the morning by the time I get home. An officer drops me off at my house, and I thank him as I get out. Every light in the living room is on, and when I get inside, I see why. All my friends are here, and when they see me walk through the door, they all sigh in relief.

“Thank fuck,” Zayn mutters and stands up to give me a hug.

My gaze meets Kennedy's as she stares back at me with a mix of fear and disbelief. I refuse to look away from her, even as my sister throws herself into my arms. I hug her tightly and press a kiss to the top of her head before moving onto Carter.

“What the hell happened?” he asks me.

Still looking at Kennedy, I exhale. “I'll explain in a minute, but first I have something more important to tend to.”

I walk straight up to my girl and as soon as I'm close enough, she jumps. I catch her with ease and don't let go as she sobs against my neck. Her belly that contains our son makes it difficult to hold her, but there's no way in hell I'm putting her down right now.

“It's okay,” I tell her softly. “We're okay.”

“I thought he shot you,” she croaks out.

Shaking my head, I hold her tighter. “And miss out on everything we have coming up? Not a chance.”

She pulls away from me and uses the sleeve of my hoodie she's sporting to wipe away her tears. I spin around and sit down with her. Zayn comes back into the room, handing me a beer and a new shirt, since they bagged mine as evidence.

“I knew I loved you,” I tell him.

He sits back down next to Amelia and they all watch me intently. I drape my arm around Kennedy and hold her close, not willing to let her get away from me right now. I need her here. Right here.

“Okay, so explain.” Z demands softly.

I take a deep breath and look down at Kennedy, silently questioning if she can handle this, but she just burrows herself closer to me.

“Alec was in a manic episode by the time I got up there,” I begin. “He was screaming, and at one point, he slapped Kennedy. I must have put my foot in the wrong place, because he heard me and threatened to shoot her if I didn't show myself. And when I got in there, it only got worse. There wasn't a question in my mind that he was going to kill us both, and probably himself, too.

“I grabbed a trophy off the top of the dresser, and he shot at me. Thankfully, he missed, and the sound of the gun firing stunned him for a second. I slammed him in the head with the trophy and I thought it knocked him out. I mean, he was laying on the ground and not moving. So, I cut Kennedy free as quickly as I could and pushed her out the door.”

“But you didn't come out with her,” Amelia points out.

I nod. “Because once she was out the door, I heard the gun cock behind me. I knew if I moved another step, Alec would have shot me, and I wasn't counting on him missing for a second time. He wanted me to let Kennedy go, so he played as if he was unconscious, knowing I’d make her the priority.

“I tried to get through to him, to talk him down, but it wasn't happening. He insisted that I ruined his life and that he and Kennedy are soulmates. And when he told me he wasn't going to let anything stand in the way of his fate with her, I knew I had to fight for my life.”

Kennedy's whole body shivers against me, and I kiss the top of her head before continuing. “I managed to get a hold of the gun enough to turn it away from me, and the two of us started to wrestle for it when it went off. At first, I thought he shot me. I felt a warm liquid soaking my arms and my shirt. But when I went to check myself, Alec hit the floor. When the cops rushed in, they tried to save him, but they told me he didn't even make it to the hospital.”

Lifting her head, Kennedy blinks up at me. “H-he's dead?”

I nod once. “He's dead. Are you okay?”

She swallows and cuddles back into my side. “Yeah. I think so.”

Zayn runs his fingers through his hair. “Goddamn, man. So, what took so long at the police station?”

“They had to determine that Alec was shot by accident and in self-defense,” I explain. “Otherwise, I was getting charged with murder.”

“But they cleared you?” Tessa asks, speaking up for the first time since I got home.

“Yeah. It was ruled as an accident,” I answer. “They'll obviously be conducting more of an investigation, but they said I shouldn't worry. That's why they let me come home instead of keeping me in county.”

Carter whistles. “Well, I'm glad you guys are all right. We're going to get out of your hair so we can all get some sleep, but we'll be back tomorrow. Okay?”

“Yeah, sounds good.”

I get up and thank each of them for coming and for being here for Kennedy. It's nice to know that if I can't be here, I have incredible friends who will act as a proxy for her. That's important to me, and I have the best in my corner.

Tessa leaves with Carter, Jace, Tye, and Paige. Tye gets to the door and turns around, looking at Kennedy.

“You coming or are you staying here?” she asks her.

Kennedy looks at me, and as much as I'd love for her to stay, I think for once, I need her to go.

“It's okay,” I tell her. “Go sleep in your bed. I'm just going to shower, and I'll see you in the morning.”

The way she frowns tells me that's not the answer she was looking for, but she does it anyway, after giving me a sweet kiss on my cheek. It lingers, long after she's gone, and I give the best smile I can manage to Zayn and Amelia as I go upstairs.

I walk straight into my bathroom, turning on the water to scolding hot. As I peel my clothes off and let them pile onto the floor, my phone rings, and Knox's name appears on the screen. I answer it and put it on speaker.

“Yo.”

He sighs. “Fuck, E. I just got Zayn's text. Do you need me to come there? I can get on the next flight.”

I tilt my head back and rock it from side to side to crack my neck. “No.”

“Okay,” he replies. “But I've been there. A lot is going to go through your head the next few days you need to be aware of so you can handle it better.”

Putting the phone down on the sink, I don't have to say anything before he continues.

“Don't be surprised if you start obsessing over your victim. His family. His friends. His life before this shit. And you're going to go numb. It's going to feel good at first because you won't feel anything, but you can't keep yourself in that place. You need to keep...”

His voice fades into the background as I get in the shower. The water scorches my skin as it washes away the remainder of Alec's blood. I put my hands on the wall and just let it burn every inch of me, as the last part of me that was alive inside dies.

I've never been more sure.

I'm nothing but a monster.