Waste My Time by Kelsey Clayton
The casino is filledwith people all making bad decisions. We sit at the blackjack table with our stacks of chips and topped-off glasses of beer, feeling like kings. It's been hell since I found out Kennedy plans on moving to Texas with our kid, so tonight is exactly what I need. Just one night to take my mind off everything.
“I have to admit, I'm surprised there are no strippers,” Zayn says as he looks around.
Knox snorts. “Have you met my fiancée? She'll sick her sister on me, and I don't think I could survive the wrath of Tessa. It's just booze and blackjack for you, bud.”
“Not to mention, my tolerance for watching you get a lap dance expired the second you started dating my sister,” I add.
Zayn chuckles but then his brows furrow. “Speak of the devil.”
Knox groans as Amelia storms over to our table. “Listen, Princess. It's adorable how much you miss him and all, but this is guys’ night.”
“Knox, shut it,” she demands.
His bottom lip juts out in a pout. “Oh, come on. It's bad enough you're stealing him from me for the rest of his life. Can't I at least have tonight? Goddamn.”
She flips him off before her other hand winds back and smacks me so hard in the head that I see stars. “Are you out of your fucking mind?”
I wince at the pain. “No, but I might not have one if you hit me that hard again.”
“Kennedy is moving, Easton!”
And there goes my one night.”I know.”
My sister narrows her eyes at me. “And you're just okay with it? E, she's moving practically across the damn country!”
Knox looks around and leans toward Amelia. “Maybe keep your voice down a little bit. The whole casino is staring, and you're making a bit of a scene.”
“Do I look like I give a shit?”
“Okay,” I say, getting up and grabbing Amelia by the wrist.
I pull her down a long hallway and into an unoccupied room. Thankfully, she comes without putting up too much of a fight. But her mouth? That keeps on going the whole time.
“I can't believe you're just fine with this,” she rants. “That's your son. The girl you're fucking crazy about. You're really going to let the shit that happened with Alec ruin that for you two?”
At the mention of his name, a chill goes down my spine and the memories from that day play in my head. “You don't know what you're talking about.”
She scoffs. “Then why are you letting her go? She said you didn't even ask her to stay. Why are you so fucking okay with her just taking your son and leaving?”
I lean against the wall and don't meet her eyes. “She's better off without me. Honestly, they both are, but I won't leave my son without a dad.”
“That's bullshit and you know it,” she counters. “There isn't a thing you can say that would convince me that's true. Look at everything you've done for them. Everything you still continue to do. Stop with the poor pitiful me, I'm-the-villain act. Between you and Zayn, I want to pull all my hair out!”
“I am the villain, Amelia.”
“No, you're not! Look at what you did at that house. You literally saved her life and Kayn's when you took on Alec yourself.”
“I killed Alec!” I snap.
Her brows furrow and she shakes her head. “It was an accident.”
“No,” I say firmly. “I made them believe it was an accident, but it definitely wasn't. There was no threatening me after Kennedy left that room. There was no wrestling for the gun. I shot him in the chest with aim and accuracy, expelling the life from his body the same way he threatened to do to Kennedy.”
She takes a second to compose herself. At first she looks scared, but then I watch as her expression settles. She comes over to me and puts a hand on my arm.
“You did what anyone who wants to protect their family would do,” she tells me. “If Zayn killed Blade that day, would you have blamed him?”
“No.”
“So, how is that any different than this?”
I throw my hands in the air. “Because, Mila. I listened as he choked on his own blood, and it was like music to my fucking ears.”
“He tried to take your family from you,” she reasons. “If someone put a gun in my hands and gave me the chance, I would've done exactly what you did.”
“She deserves someone better than me,” I whisper.
Running her fingers through her hair, she switches tactics. “Okay, let's say that's true. You two have a kid together. What was your plan if she didn't decide to move to Texas?”
With a half-hearted shrug, I frown. “I'd be there to help her and protect her until she found someone else, and then I'd let her be happy.”
“And what if the person she would be happiest with is you?”
“It's not.”
Pinching the bridge of her nose, she groans. “You two are the densest people I've ever met. I don't know how I'm related to you.”
I grunt. “And now you're back to insulting me. Great.”
“She's still in love with you, moron!” she shouts. “She is in love with you, and you're about to let her leave. If you want to stay with this I'm not worthy attitude, that's on you. But just know that if you let her go, there's a good chance you might lose her forever.”
The thought of never getting to hold her in my arms again hits me right in the chest. When it comes down to it, I'm crazy about her. It was one thing when I thought she didn't want me too, when I could convince myself that being a co-parent and a friend to her was enough. But hearing that she still returns the same feelings for me, from the person that knows her the best, makes me realize what I could be throwing away. And it’s not okay.
Not even close.
“Okay,” I cave. “But her flight’s already booked. What the hell do I do?”
My sister smirks. “I have an idea, but you might think I'm crazy.”
THE WEDDING VENUE ISgorgeous. White flowers line the aisle and a matching canopy covers the arch above us. I stand at the altar, behind Zayn and Knox, and I know I should be paying attention, but I can't. The only thing I can focus on is how beautiful Kennedy looks. People probably think I'm suffering through withdrawals as I try to control my shaking.
Keeping this a secret has been hard. Amelia was right when she said her plan was crazy, but crazy might be exactly what I need. Kennedy plans on leaving in two days so she can get settled and enrolled in school down there, so it's now or never.
I can't just stand by and watch as she walks out of my life.
I WAIT UNTIL JUSTafter all the pictures are taken before I put a hand on the small of Kennedy's back. She tilts her head back to look at me and I move my lips to the shell of her ear with as much calmness as I can muster.
“Can I steal you for a minute?”
She gives me a strange look and starts looking around. “What about Kayn?”
I start to lead her away from the wedding party. “My parents have him.”
Thankfully, she follows me without asking too many questions. We go down a decorated hallway until we stand in front of a closed door. I feel like my heart is in my throat and if I wasn't so mesmerized by the way Kennedy looks in that dress, I might pass out from being so fucking nervous.
“What are we doing?” she asks. “Amelia will kill us both if we don't get back.”
“Just wait a minute,” I tell her.
Taking another few seconds to compose myself, I inhale deeply and then slowly let it out. Kennedy watches me with the same patience she always has. The same patience I really don't deserve but she gives it to me anyway.
“You were right,” I start. “I don't love you in the way I love Tessa.”
She takes a step back like she's been wounded, but I grab her hand and pull her toward me again.
“Just, hear me out,” I beg. “I love her in the way that needs to know she's okay. That she's safe and happy and not dying in a bathroom somewhere from a drug addiction that I caused. But I love you in a way that consumes me. It runs through my veins and claims every inch of me from the inside out.”
Dropping down on one knee, I pull out the same ring I used to propose to her once, when she shot me down in front of the whole school. She throws a hand over her mouth as tears fill her eyes, but she doesn't make a move to leave.
“Now I asked you this once, but this time is different. I'm not asking because I think it's the right thing to do, or because you're the mother of my son. Know that this is purely selfish, because I don't want to live without you. And this time, I'm not just asking you to be my fiancée.”
Her brows furrow in confusion. “Then what are you asking me?”
I glance at the door and then back at her. “The pastor is still here. Right inside that room. Amelia asked him to stick around for a bit. I'm asking you to stay. With me. Here. I'm asking you to marry me, right now, in that room. Spend the rest of your life with me, Kennedy. I can't promise I won't fuck up sometimes, but I promise to always make it up to you. Marry me.”
Kennedy turns into a sobbing mess, crying so hard it's almost hard to make out the yes that leaves her mouth. As if she can read my mind, she nods and puts her hands on my cheeks. I stand up and finally cover her mouth with my own for the first time in way too long.
Breaking the kiss, I interlace our fingers and open the door. The pastor stands there, patiently waiting for us with a smile on his face. Kennedy follows me inside, and as we reach the altar, she turns to me.
“We're seriously doing this?” she asks in complete disbelief.
The smile that appears on my face stretches from ear to ear. “We're seriously doing this.”
I STAND IN THE doorway, watching as Kennedy lays our son down in his crib. Somehow, she has mastered the ability to move him from the car seat to his bed without waking him. I've asked her to teach me how, but the only way I can explain it is magic. She's fucking magical.
“He's still asleep?” I ask quietly.
She nods and gives me one of her teasing smiles. “He is.”
Slipping past me, I close the door behind us. She doesn't get far, however, before I grab her wrist and pull her back to me. She spins around and lands with her left hand on my chest. I look down at the wedding ring that I put on her finger just a few hours ago, and I don't think it's a sight I could ever get sick of.
“It's beautiful,” she says as she realizes what I'm looking at.
I smirk. “You're beautiful, but the ring means you're mine, and that's the part I'm having a hard time believing.”
She chuckles and arches up on her tip-toes to kiss me. “Well, believe it, baby. I'm Kennedy Donovan now.”
She's not. Not technically anyway. But she will be as soon as we go down to the courthouse tomorrow and get a marriage license. I tried to get one before the wedding, but they needed her there to do it. The pastor assured me to just bring it by after we get it and he will fill it out for us.
It's just crossing the Ts and dotting the Is.
As far as I'm concerned, she's my wife.
And as far as I'm concerned, I'm the luckiest mother fucker alive.