Waste My Time by Kelsey Clayton

Music fillsthe room and vibrates the walls. A Happy Birthday Carter banner hangs on the wall with streamers all over the place. Hypnotic, the local club, is completely decked out—the work of Tye—Carter's girlfriend for all intents and purposes. Kennedy and Amelia came in to help, and since all three of them work here, they're now behind the bar serving drinks while still getting to enjoy the party.

Kennedy comes over with a big smile on her face, for once looking like she's in a good mood. After the week that we've had, I honestly will take any twitch of her lips that she's willing to give me, even if it is mainly because we're in front of all our friends.

“Hey, you,” I greet her, kissing her forehead.

She smiles up at me and hands me a beer. “I grabbed you the last one. After this, you'll have to drink something else.”

I cock a brow and turn to my closest friends. “Which one of you fuckers drank all my beer?”

Zayn raises his own beer up, showing he had nothing to do with it. Carter is next and shakes his head. Good, because even if he had, I can't necessarily yell at him on his birthday. I look over at Jace. He's Carter's best friend and roommate, but he only snickers at me.

“Sober life problems,” he tells me.

That leaves only one other person—Knox. Knox Vaughn has been best friends with Zayn and me for as long as I can remember. When we were younger, the three of us could always be found together. There was even a point where I thought we would end up brothers-in-law, being as he's dating Tessa's sister, Delaney, but that obviously isn’t going to happen.

“What?” he asks incredulously. “You can't expect me to drink the other shit they have here.”

“I know,” I answer. “That's why Kennedy has Paul order my craft beer just for me.”

He raises his glass that obviously contains my beer. “Well, cheers.”

I'm about to make some smart-ass remark, to tell him the secret ingredient is giraffe piss or something, but a familiar brunette walks into the room and every thought dissipates in an instant. Seeing the smile on Tessa's face sends a calmness through me that I could get high on.

I focus on every one of her features.

Her healthy complexion.

Her eyes filled with life.

The happiness that radiates from her like sunlight.

The need to know she’s okay is primal. After all, she left my house with no pulse. The fact that they were able to get her back is a miracle in itself. To know I didn’t fuck her up permanently feels like coming up for air after almost drowning. And still, knowing what I did is a regret I will live with for the rest of my life.

Delaney runs across the room and jumps into her arms. Tess stumbles but laughs as she holds onto her sister just as tight. The two of them spent their entire adolescent lives together until Laney moved across the country for college. Needless to say, they miss each other constantly.

A sudden smack to the back of the head snaps me out of it, and I turn to the only possible culprit.

“Ouch. What was that for?” I ask Knox.

“Being an idiot,” he answers, like it's nothing new. “Go fix that.”

It's then that I notice Kennedy walking away, and my heart drops. Shit. Tessa being here was the absolute last thing we needed, and by letting myself get so wrapped up in how well she's doing, I fucked up again. I sigh heavily and run after my girlfriend.

“Kennedy, wait,” I call out, but she keeps walking.

Neither one of us stop until we're alone and hidden away in the kitchen. Kennedy immediately grips onto the steel countertop and takes a deep breath.

“Baby, it's not what you think.”

She scoffs. “It's not? So, you weren't just blatantly checking out your ex right in front of me?”

“No,” I answer, but change course when she rolls her eyes. “Okay, kind of, but not for the reasons you're thinking. I was—”

“Why are you even with me?” she interrupts.

The question catches me off guard and trips me up. “What?”

“Why are you with me? I mean, clearly you'd rather be with her.”

“That's not true.”

She scoffs as she takes a few steps away from me. “Bullshit. I just watched you stare at her like she hung the goddamn moon!”

“Because I...” The truth almost slips out, but I bite my tongue and reign it in. “I was surprised to see her here. That's all.”

“What were you going to say?” she presses. “You started saying something else. What was it?”

I shake my head. “It's nothing.”

“Coward. Just say it.” She leans back against the counter on the other side of the room. “You love her, right? You're in love with her? Just fucking say it, Easton! It's completely obvious, so stop wasting my time and say it!”

With every second that she gets louder, my anger builds. And by the end of it, she's screaming at me and my restraint snaps.

“Enough!” I demand, making her flinch at my tone. “You want to fucking scream at me, fine, but do it at home! Don't ruin Carter's birthday because you can't seem to accept that I made a mistake!”

“A mistake?” she sneers. “You didn't drunk-dial your ex-girlfriend and share all your darkest thoughts and feelings. You lied to me for God knows how long and hid that you were hanging out with her behind my fucking back!”

“Yeah, I did! And then you agreed to stay with me and let me fix it. But if you're just going to hold it over my head like a damn guillotine, maybe leaving was the right choice.”

As soon as the words leave my mouth, I feel the regret and watch as her face drops. Pain and despair take over her perfect features as she drops her head and nods. Without saying another word, she goes to leave. I should let her, give her the space she obviously needs, but I can't.

“Wait,” I beg, wrapping my fingers around her wrist. “I didn't mean it.”

“No, I think you did.”

She tries to pull herself from my grasp, but I won't let go. “Baby, I'm sorry. Just stay here and talk to me.”

“Let go,” she pleads. “Easton, let go!”

Using all her strength, she yanks herself away from me at the same time I loosen my grip. She stumbles backward and, before I can catch her, falls and crashes into the counter. The sound of metal hitting metal echoes through the room, but all my attention is on Kennedy.

We stare back at each other, eyes wide in panic and unable to move. It's as if neither one of us knows what to say or do, but that if we make a wrong move, it could be the end of us right here and now. Just as I'm about to ask if she's all right or if I can help her up, the door swings open. Zayn and Amelia rush into the room and take in the scene in front of them.

Kitchen tools scattered across the metal surface.

Kennedy on the floor.

Blood dripping down her arm.

“What the fuck happened?” Amelia asks, going over to kneel next to Kennedy. “Are you okay?”

My girlfriend, if I can still even call her that, keeps her eyes locked with mine. “I'm fine. I just tripped and fell.”

“Ken, you're bleeding.” Amelia sounds concerned as she reaches for the napkin Zayn is handing her and presses it to Kennedy's arm.

Kennedy winces at the sting but then trains her expression to neutral. “I've felt worse.” She looks away from me and gets up with the help of my sister. “Come on. I need a drink.”

“Okay, but first, a Band-Aid.”

As they walk out of the room together, Amelia glances back at me—clearly wondering what is going on between us. The second they're gone, Zayn raises his brows at me, but I'm too busy being consumed by anger.

“Fuck!” I scream, kicking a metal table as hard as I possibly can.

This just went from bad to worse.

KENNEDY SPENDS TWO HOURS avoiding being around me at all costs, not that I can blame her. Hell, I'd avoid me too if I could. I've been trying to fake a smile for Carter's sake, but I don't think anyone is believing it. Especially not anyone who knows me well enough.

By the third time Kennedy walks away to keep no less than ten feet of distance between us, Zayn grabs us each a beer and drags me outside to smoke a cigarette. I lean against the cold brick wall and breathe in, letting the nicotine calm me from the inside out.

“Are you sure you two are doing the right thing?” Z asks.

I exhale and watch as a puff of smoke pours out of me. “What do you mean?”

“Well, don't take this the wrong way. Kennedy is great. But is what's going on between you two really fixable or do you think you're just beating a dead horse?”

It's not something I haven't asked myself once or twice, especially when she hasn't so much as let me hold her hand in private for a week now. But if the choice is to let myself get burned alive by her fiery rage or deal with the hell of losing her, I'll lie down in the middle of the blaze.

“I don't know,” I tell him honestly. “But I'm not willing to give up until I know I've tried everything.”

“Fair enough.”

It goes quiet until I'm halfway through my cigarette and the door opens. Tessa walks outside and when she spots Zayn and me, she smiles.

“I thought I'd find you two out here,” she says. “I'm surprised Knox isn't with you.”

“Your sister holds him hostage,” Z answers.

Tess chuckles and takes the cigarette from his hand. “Aw, you jealous?”

As she takes a puff and holds it in, Zayn snorts. “Still wreaking havoc, I see.”

The smoke flows gently out of her mouth as she exhales. “What do you mean?”

“Stirring up shit between—”

“Z!” I cut him off.

Since everything with Kennedy blew up, I haven't told Tess anything about it. Whether that's because I'm afraid of her reaction to it, or Kennedy's for telling her, I'm not sure. Regardless, the time to not mention it has run out.

Zayn looks at me confused for a second and then chuckles. “I'll see you two inside.”

As he disappears back into the club, Tessa hums. “What was that about?”

I run my fingers through my hair, trying to figure out an excuse. It's useless though, because she knows me too well. Fuck. She's really going to kill me for this.

“Kennedy found out that I've been hanging out with you, and kind of flipped the fuck out.”

The smile drops right off her face. “What do you mean found out? She didn't already know?”

“No,” I answer with a wince.

“E!” she yells and kicks me in the shin. “The fuck is wrong with you?”

“Ow! Heels!”

“Do I look like I give a shit? What the hell were you thinking?”

I lean my head back and look up at the sky. “I don't know. My head is all kinds of screwed up. You know that.”

That seems to calm her down at least a little. She moves to stand beside me and rests back against the wall, not even flinching as the bitter cold hits her skin. She takes another puff of the cigarette she stole from Zayn and lets the information just settle in for a minute.

“Did she lose her shit?”

A short, humorless laugh bubbles out of me at what an understatement that is. “I think she's convinced I cheated on her.”

She winces. “I was afraid of that. I don't blame her. If Asher was sneaking around with his ex, I'd assume the same.”

“You'd cut his balls off,” I point out.

“That, too.” She finishes the cigarette and then puts it out with the bottom of her shoe. “You should be glad you still have yours.”

Pulling her keys out of her purse, she walks over to the Mercedes her boyfriend bought her for her last birthday. Just before she climbs inside, her eyes meet mine and she shakes her head.

“Fix it, Eas,” she says. “Do whatever the hell it takes, but don't give up on her. She's good for you.”

I watch as she drives away and think about how right she is. After everything with Tess, I never thought I'd find another person who seemed to be perfect for me. I might be afraid to say the three words Kennedy is looking for, but that doesn't mean I don't feel them with every fiber of my being. If I lose her because of this, I don't know that I'll ever be able to forgive myself.

After giving myself a few more minutes, I put out my second cigarette and head back inside to rejoin the party. Kennedy spots me from across the room and her brows furrow as she comes toward me. Even with the scowl on her face, she’s heart-stoppingly beautiful. And if I wasn’t so afraid of ruining her the same way I almost did Tess, I’d scream everything she’s been wanting to hear from the rooftops.

“What were you doing?” she hisses. “Kissing Tessa goodbye?”

My shoulders sag in defeat, knowing I caused her to be this way. “How many times do I have to tell you that you're the one I want?”

She holds her head high. “As many times as it takes to make it true.”

And that might just crack my chest wide open.