Riley Thorn and the Corpse in the Closet by Lucy Score
32
9:24 a.m., Tuesday, August 18
Nick stopped short when he walked into Wander’s yoga studio with his posse of weirdos in tow.
He wasn’t exactly a yoga guy. Sure, he was a fan of the tight, short shorts Riley was wearing for the class. But he didn’t know what the gong at the front of the room was for. And he sure as hell wasn’t expecting to find his mother sitting serenely on a pink mat in the center of the studio.
She glanced in his direction and did a double take.
“Nick?” She looked delighted…and suspicious in gray tights and a high-necked tank. Her hair was pulled back from her face in a bun.
“Mom? I didn’t know you did…” He gestured at the colorful tapestries and collection of incense burners. “This stuff.”
“I’ve been coming here every Tuesday for the past two years. Wander is wonderful. I’ll introduce you when she gets here.”
“Actually, I know her.”
She cringed. “Oh, God. You didn’t sleep with her, did you, Nicky? Because if you did, we’re pretending we don’t know each other. I’m not giving up this class.”
“No, Mom. I didn’t sleep with her,” he scoffed. “But I am sleeping with her sister.”
“Hi, Dr. Santiago.” Riley stepped out from behind Nick and waved.
“Oh. It’s you.” The pre-yoga buzz evaporated from his mother’s face.
“It’s nice to see you too,” Riley said with a fake smile.
His mother turned her back on Riley. “What happened to your face, Nicky? And why are you so sparkly?”
He pushed her hand away as she fussed over him. “Nothing. It’s fine, Mom.”
“Well, come set up next to me. And stay away from that ridiculous couple in the corner. She’s some sort of hippie witch, and her husband is a farmer obsessed with his cow, I believe. Absolutely dreadful people.” She shuddered and pointed.
Blossom and Roger Thorn waved cheerfully from the designated dreadful corner.
“You probably shouldn’t tell her,” Riley suggested.
“Oh, I’m telling her.” Nick blew out a breath. “Mom. Meet Riley’s parents, Blossom and Roger Thorn. Blossom and Roger, this is my mother, Marie.”
Blossom hauled Roger off his mat, and the introductions were made.
“Your son is a lovely human being,” Blossom said to his mother.
“Yes, well,” Marie said.
“What’s with the glitter?” Roger asked, peering at Riley and Nick.
“We got glitter bombed this morning,” Riley explained.
Marie’s well-maintained eyebrows skyrocketed up her forehead. “Glitter bombed? Is that some kind of euphemism?”
“I wish,” Nick said.
“What the hell is the She-Devil doing here?” Roger demanded as Elanora swept through the door and frowned at the room.
“Is that Stevie Nicks’s mother?” Marie wondered.
Nick helped himself to a mat from one of the shelves and gauged the distance from the door. They were on the second floor, so it was less likely that a threat would come for Riley through the windows, but the door was still a problem. “Mom, move your mat.”
“But I always set up here,” she complained.
“Humor me and move it over there. Wander’s a big fan of novelty. Seeing the world from new perspectives,” he said.
“Really?”
“What are you doing?” Riley asked under her breath as he took her mat and spread it out next to his.
“Putting myself between you and the door and my mother and your family.”
“Are you expecting a fist fight to break out in the middle of sun salutations?” she asked.
“I’m not taking any chances.”
Riley looked down at her phone. “Mrs. Penny texted and said they went through the drive-thru on the way here and they’re still waiting on hash browns. They want us to get started without them.”
“Josie went home to have sex with Brian.”
“I’m starting to think we should have taken their lead,” she said.
“Yeah, well, your grandmother scares the shit out of me. And you don’t go to Tuesday morning yoga classes. Breaking up your routine is a good idea in case Glitter Guy is watching you.”
Riley shivered.
Canon strutted into the room like a rooster, surveying the room and its inhabitants. With a twitch of his mustache, he grabbed a mat and set up directly behind Riley as she bent over to stretch her hamstrings.
Nick bared his teeth.
Canon grinned at him.
“Yeah. Not happening,” Nick snapped.
He grabbed Riley and her mat and shoved her between her parents. “What the hell, Nick?”
“Humor me.” He returned to his mat and moved it so he was directly behind Riley and his ass was in Canon’s face.
“Is this spot taken?”
Gabe gestured at the spot between Nick and his mother.
Nick shrugged. “Have at it, Goliath.”
His mother’s eyes widened as Gabe unfurled his mat and sat. “Hello,” she said.
“Hello. I am Gabe. It is a pleasure to enjoy this class with you.”
“Hello, Gabe. It’s lovely to meet you. I’m Marie. Are you a fan of Wander’s?”
Nick couldn’t tell if his mother had a bigger crush on the mountain of muscle next to her or Riley’s sister.
“Wander is a most wonderful teacher. I enjoy my time with her.”
Elanora cleared her throat from the hanging egg chair she’d perched in. She looked like a disapproving ostrich in her nest.
“Give the guy a break, lady,” Nick whispered.
Elanora’s eyes narrowed, and he felt a prickling sensation all over his body.
“Mom!” Blossom hissed from the front row at the same time that Riley whispered, “Grandmother!”
Fortunately, Elanora’s voodoo gaze was interrupted by the arrival of the instructor. “Good morning, everyone,” Wander said as she picked her way through the mats to the front of the room. She was wearing cropped tights and an open back tank that said Kindness. Her long braids were pulled back from her face in a high tail.
Gabe sighed forlornly next to Nick.
* * *
Nick wasn’tsure what the fuck chair pose was supposed to feel like, but he was pretty sure it shouldn’t be making his quads and traps shake like he was coming off a three-day bout with the flu. Next to him, Gabe held the pose like a fucking statue. The only sign that there was a living, breathing human beneath all that muscle was the steady drops of sweat raining down on the mat.
“Swan dive back down into your forward fold. Feel your hamstrings lengthening. Feel yourself rooting to the mat.” Wander’s voice soothingly insisted his body do things it wasn’t comfortable doing. His hamstrings felt like they were shredding like a piece of lunch meat.
Nick peered between his feet at Canon, who was also sweating profusely, but he didn’t appear to be shaking like a goddamn leaf.
He was sweating his way through plank pose when Wander’s feet stopped next to his mat.
“Shifting forward into cobra pose,” she instructed, straddling his ass with her feet and pulling his shoulders up and back into a position he didn’t know he was capable of getting into. “Beautiful extension,” she said.
Behind him, Canon snickered. Gabe made moony eyes at her.
In front of him, Riley’s ass tempted him from those short shorts as Wander told them to transition to downward facing dog.
His girlfriend was hot.
He felt the weight of a disapproving stare. This time it wasn’t coming from Elanora. It was coming from his own mother busting him as he checked out his own girlfriend.
He shrugged at her and nearly toppled out of downward dog.
Marie rolled her eyes and then got distracted when Gabe’s unnaturally large biceps rippled as he opened his arms for one of the warrior poses. It was Nick’s turn to shoot a judgmental stare in her direction.
When she shrugged, Wander paused behind her. “Let’s drop these shoulders, Marie,” she said, adjusting his mother’s upper body.
For the rest of the class, Nick kept his attention divided between Riley’s ass, the door, and his manly competition. When Wander announced it was time for corpse pose, he almost broke down and cried. Between spending the night on the fucking floor, finding out his girlfriend was the target of a killer, getting sucker-punched by Ham Hands, and trying to keep up with stupid Canon in sun salutations, he was in desperate need of a beer, a burger, and a nap with Riley glued to his side.
The scent of hash browns and old people reached his nose, and Nick guessed that Mrs. Penny had arrived with the rest of the neighbors in tow.
It had been a long fucking day, and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet. And his gut was telling him his girl was in trouble. Big trouble.
