Made to Order by Brigham Vaughn

ELEVEN

“This town has more festivals than any place I’ve ever been to,” Donovan said with a groan. The line of customers had slowed enough for him to take a breather for two seconds while Teri, one of the tavern’s servers, took over for him. Donovan dug his fists into his lower back and arched, trying to stretch the tight muscles.

Tyler flashed him a sympathetic look, then glanced at the bartender on his other side. “Can you manage the bar stuff for a bit, Lacey?”

“Pfftt. Course I can.”

“C’mere. You need a break.” Tyler took Donovan’s arm and drew him toward the back of the rectangular booth the tavern had set up. Donovan was too tired to argue about Tyler telling him what to do.

“I hear you on the festivals,” Tyler said. “I mean, I like apples as much as the next guy, but a whole festival for them? What the fuck?”

“Rachael’s going to be thrilled with how well we’re doing, though,” Donovan said with a sigh. He was tired, but the day had gone well. The tavern was one of the big festival sponsors and they had a huge area set up in a food and drink tent.

People wandered from booth to booth, buying whatever food or drinks struck their fancy. The center of the tent held long tables where they could enjoy their meal or relax with friends while they drank. Great smells came from every direction and the air was filled with the sound of people laughing and talking, and music playing in the background. A band was setting up now, and he and Tyler had a few more hours to go before they wrapped all of this up.

“People seem to be going crazy for your apple butter BBQ chicken sandwiches,” Tyler said, leaning against one of the prep tables.

“That’s cause they’re fucking good.”

“I’ll have to take your word for it. I’ve been smelling them all day, but I haven’t gotten a thing to eat.”

Donovan turned to face him, horrified. “What? No, you need to eat.”

“How much have you eaten today?” Tyler teased, though his smile was tired too.

Donovan thought back. “Fuck.”

“A chef who doesn’t even know how to feed himself.” Tyler let out a little tsking noise. “Pretty sad.”

“Watch it,” Donovan said, narrowing his eyes at Tyler.

“Or what?” Tyler licked his lips.

As always, their banter sent a little jolt of energy through Donovan. “Or you’ll find out later what the consequences are.”

Didn’t matter that they’d both be dead from exhaustion after being on their feet all night. Didn’t matter that Donovan’s back hurt like a bitch or that Tyler had dark circles under his eyes. In the three months since things had started with Tyler, Donovan had always managed to find the energy for their encounters.

They were on a pretty good schedule these days, in fact. A couple of times a week, Tyler came to his place after work, they got kinky, then passed out in Donovan’s bed.

Donovan had been a little surprised that Tyler felt comfortable enough with him to fall asleep in his bed on a regular basis, but he had no complaints. Tyler was an up-and-out-of-bed guy, who didn’t like to linger in the mornings, but that was okay too. There were still the occasional slick handjobs in the shower, and more than once, Donovan had bent him over the kitchen table before they headed their separate ways for the day.

It was a good routine, and Donovan was enjoying it, even if Tyler was currently berating him for not eating.

“Fine. I’ll fix two plates and we’ll take a break together,” Donovan suggested. “Lacey and Teri have this covered.”

“Want me to grab some ciders?”

“Yeah, that would be great.”

“I’ll snag us a table over there,” Tyler said, pointing.

“Meet you there.”

As Donovan spoke quietly to Teri, he loaded two plates with food. When he approached the table where Tyler sat, he was greeted with a grateful smile. He felt an urge to lean in and press his lips to Tyler’s but stopped himself just in time. No, that definitely wasn’t something Tyler would be cool with.

In general, Donovan didn’t mind that they were keeping things under wraps, but recently, he’d begun to feel that nagging sense that he was getting more attached to what they were doing than he should be.

In private, things were great but Donovan knew Tyler had no intention of this ever becoming more open and that was beginning to chafe.

“Mmm, this is good.” Tyler shot Donovan a little smile before he took a second bite of the sandwich.

“Don’t sound so surprised,” Donovan teased.

“Fuck, you need to make this again.” Tyler wiped the apple BBQ sauce from his chin. “Seriously. This is amazing.”

“Thanks.” The pork tenderloin and apple skewers with a maple balsamic glaze weren’t too terrible either. Nor were the apple and sausage stuffing bites. The restaurant had been prepping for days to get ready for this event and Donovan was damn proud of what they’d put together.

“I could teach you to make the pulled chicken, you know?” He grabbed another cube of pork from the skewer and popped it into his mouth.

“You could.”

They’d done a handful of cooking lessons at this point and Tyler had become a willing and eager student. The combination of cooking and kink was a heady mix for Donovan. It took all the things he enjoyed and wrapped them up into one amazing package.

Though the romantic relationship aspect was missing from what they did, in the bedroom, things with Tyler were substantially better than they’d been with his ex, Jude. Sure, Tyler still enjoyed a good rough play session where Donovan tackled him and restrained him, but Tyler was actually far more submissive than Jude had ever been.

Not that Tyler would admit that. He still got prickly if Donovan suggested that. But he seemed to have no desire to switch. Tyler wanted to submit, he just had to be convinced to do it sometimes.

Jude had constantly chafed at the idea of never being the one in charge. Intellectually, Donovan understood the idea of being a switch. It was as innate as his dominance was.

He’d tried to explain that to Jude, to make him understand it was like being gay. Yet Jude had stubbornly clung to the idea that if Donovan would just try harder, he’d get there. That Donovan could somehow make himself become something he wasn’t. That was what had set off their last ugly fight.

Now, Donovan sighed and took a long pull from his cider, enjoying the dry crisp tartness after the richness of the food. To hell with the past. To hell with the future. What he was doing now was good. That was all that mattered.

Donovan glanced over at Tyler to see he’d demolished half his plate of food already. A combination of military service and constantly being on the run in the restaurant meant Tyler wolfed his food down.

Donovan idly wondered if he could train that out of Tyler. Force him to eat slowly and either reward him for obeying or punish him for not. Tie him up maybe and hand feed him.

Donovan smiled at that thought. Oh, that could be fun. Being forced to allow Donovan to feed him would be a huge struggle for Tyler. Maybe Donovan could blindfold him. Restrain him. Donovan brought another cider-glazed meatball to his lips. He’d have to plan that for a day they both had off.

“What are you smirking about?” Tyler asked, narrowing his eyes.

Donovan’s grin widened. “Oh, just making some plans.”

“For?”

“Something we don’t discuss in public.”

Tyler blinked. “Oh.”

Donovan hid a wince behind another sip of cider. That had come out a little more barbed than he’d intended. He’d meant it as a joke, but it hadn’t really come out that way at all.

Tyler straightened, squaring his shoulders. “Something good though, right?”

“I’ll enjoy it.” Donovan smirk widened. “We’ll see if you do.”

“Oh.” Tyler’s cheeks turned a little pink. “That sounds interesting.”

“It should be.”

Donovan reached out to touch Tyler’s arm, then disguised it by grabbing his napkin. He felt another little stab of frustration. Outside of the safety of Donovan’s apartment, he missed the casual touches he’d grown used to in private.

But Tyler was pretty stubbornly sure that what they were doing was just an aberration. And maybe it was. Maybe Tyler was flexible sexually but not at all romantically. There was a difference.

The problem with that was Donovan wasn’t sure that Tyler’s upbringing—especially his military background—didn’t play into that. What if Tyler were hardwired to be interested in dating men but had blocked himself from the idea of a relationship with a man because he’d been socially conditioned to think women were his only option?

Donovan knew Tyler was still friends with a lot of the guys he’d served with. What if he were too afraid of what they—or his family—would say about him dating a guy to ever consider the idea?

Then I’m going to be hugely disappointed. Possibly even heartbroken.The thought was grim, but Donovan had to be realistic. What they had now was good, but would he be content with that forever? He’d gone into this thinking he didn’t need romance—why bother with the hassle after the mess with Jude?—but sometimes he got flashes of what it could be like with Tyler if he were willing to give it a chance. And the thought was beginning to become more seductive than he could have imagined.

And damn it, there he went again. Worrying about the past and the future instead of enjoying the present.

“Donovan!” His name rang out over the murmur of the crowd enjoying their meals and listening to music play. He raised his head, glancing around.

He spotted the bright red glasses first and rose to his feet. “Grandma June.”

She beamed at him as she strode toward him, no hesitation in her step. He would swear the woman had sold her soul to the devil to be as healthy and active as she was at her age. Or, knowing her, she’d charmed the devil into it free of charge. “I’m so glad I caught you. I hardly see you anymore.”

“I know.” He hugged her, breathing in the familiar warm, spicy-sweet floral scent of her perfume. It was the same one she’d worn all her life, the one his grandfather had bought her for their first anniversary. “I’m sorry. I’ve been busy.”

Her gaze darted toward Tyler. “Can’t say as I blame you.”

“Ahh, no.” Donovan rubbed the back of his neck. “Gram, Tyler and I work together at the tavern. He’s the bar manager there.”

“Oh.” Grandma June smiled over at him. “Nice to meet you, young man.”

Tyler scrambled to his feet. “Tyler Hewitt. Nice to meet you too, ma’am.”

“Ma’am?” She let out a peel of laughter. “Oh no. Call me Grandma June. Everyone does. Or just June, if you’d prefer.”

“Sorry, m—June. I’ll do my best to remember. You can take the man out of the military, but you can’t always take the military out of the man.”

She eyed him up and down. “I’ll bet you looked nice in uniform. Which branch?”

“Army. Staff sergeant. Light infantry.”

“My husband was in the army as well. Talk about handsome in a uniform.” June fanned herself.

“He was,” Donovan agreed.

She scoffed. “Of course, you say that. Other than the red hair and freckles, you’re the spitting image of him.”

Tyler chuckled. “I can’t quite picture Donovan in the military. I don’t think he’d much like being told what to do.”

“I am used to being in charge,” Donovan agreed.

He caught the moment that thought processed in his grandmother’s head. She glanced between him and Tyler, then nodded as if confirming something.

Crap.

She wasn’t known for her filter either.

“So, what are you doing here, Grandma?” he asked hastily, desperately trying to change the subject.

“Oh, I was at the speed dating event.”

“The what now?”

“Speed dating.” She rested her hand on Donovan’s arm. “I know it’s hard to see me moving on from your grandfather and you know I loved him to bits, but I can’t see myself missing out on love out of some misguided sense of loyalty. He’d have been the first one to encourage me. ‘You gotta get out there again, Junie,’ he would have said. ‘And you better find someone young and hung. You only live once.’”

Tyler went wide-eyed, and Donovan stifled a snort, turning it into a cough. Yeah, those were his grandparents. They weren’t shy about any of that. Donovan and his family were more or less used to it. People who didn’t know them were always taken by surprise.

“Well, Grandma,” Donovan said as seriously as he could manage, “I do hope you’re able to find a new suitor.”

“New suitor?” She grinned. “I’d settle for a good lay.”

Tyler’s eyes widened even farther.

“Well, I wish you everything you desire,” Donovan said, no longer able to contain his amusement. He kissed her cheek. “I hate to run, Grams, but we need to finish our food and get back to the booth.” He gestured toward the banner advertising the Hawk Point Tavern. His chest filled with pride at the sight. Damn, he was proud of the work they’d done, here and at the restaurant.

“Oh yes,” his grandma said, “I’ll let you get back to your date.”

Tyler’s eyes widened again. At this rate, he was going to wind up permanently bug-eyed.

“It’s not a date!” Donovan protested. “Just a working dinner with a friend.”

She glanced between them over the top of her glasses. “Mm-hmm. Well, enjoy. Have good sex. And don’t forget to wrap it up!”

Donovan facepalmed. “Grandma …”

She pecked his cheek, glowing with amusement. “Love you, muffin.”

“Love you too.” He gave her a hug.

“Nice to meet you, Tyler Hewitt.”

“Nice to meet you too, June,” he said with a smile. He was still grinning as she walked off.

“Well. She’s uh …” Tyler took a seat at the table when she was gone, amusement lighting up his face and making his gray eyes dance.

“That’s my grandmother.” Donovan shook his head as he joined him. “No one else like her.”

“She’s fun.” Tyler took a sip of cider. “Muffin, huh?”

“She’s equal parts horrifying and wonderful,” Donovan said with a sigh. He loved her to bits but there was no containing her. He leaned in, dropping his voice. “And you better forget you ever heard her call me muffin. There will be consequences if you repeat my childhood nickname.”

Tyler snickered.

Donovan sobered, thinking about the earlier conversation. “Sorry about what I said. I think she probably figured out we’re … uh … involved.”

“Yeah.” Tyler swallowed. “I mean, she doesn’t know anything about us, right?”

“Oh no. I’ve never said anything to her about us.” Donovan dug his fork into the apple slaw. “But she’s smart. She knows I’m kinky and your comment about taking orders kinda tipped her off. I can ask her to be discreet. She never blabbed about me to anyone outside of the family, so as much as she is a bit of a wild card, I’m confident she’s not going to out you to anyone.”

Tyler’s eyes widened. “Your family knows you’re—”

“Yeah.” Donovan glanced around, but there was no one within immediate earshot. “They do. Not the specifics but that I’m involved in the community.”

“And they don’t give you shit for it?”

“No.”

“Probably helps that you’re”—Tyler lowered his voice—“a Dom.”

Donovan winced. Tyler wasn’t wrong. People seemed to be more understanding of men being in charge. “Probably. But if I were submissive, I wouldn’t hide it either. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. And they wouldn’t think so either.”

“No. I know.” Tyler grimaced. “It’s just …”

“I know. Society is fucked up.” Donovan echoed his expression. “Masculinity has one narrow box that we’re allowed to fit in.”

“Yeah, try joining the military.” Tyler snorted.

Donovan did some quick math. Tyler was thirty-four and if he’d joined the military right out of high school …

“You were in before the DADT repeal, weren’t you?” he asked, unable to hide the surprise in his voice. Damn, it seemed like a long time ago. Then again, Tyler had been out of the military a while too.

“Yeah. I enlisted in 2005.” He stabbed at a stuffing ball.

“How long was your enlistment?”

“Four years active duty, four reserves.”

“So, you were still in the reserves when it was repealed. It was what … 2011, I think?”

“That sounds about right. And yeah, I was in the reserves at the time. It was interesting.”

“I’d imagine so.”

Tyler grimaced. “It’s weird. It’s a really touchy thing.”

“How so?”

“Well, there was one or two guys in my platoon who we all knew were into guys. They didn’t advertise it but you could just kinda tell, you know? And they’d talk around it without being too blatant. No one really got too wound up about what they did in their free time and it’s not like it impacted their job. But after the repeal? Two came out and announced they’d been together for years and people were pissed.”

“Because it had been a secret?”

“Yeah.” Tyler set down his fork. “Because these guys you’re serving with, you’re as close as brothers, you know? You know everything about them. The name of their dog, their high school mascot, when they got laid for the first time. What scares them shitless. You know all this stuff, but when you find out they’ve left half their life out of conversations or whatever, it causes a shitload of mistrust. Even guys who aren’t homophobic feel kinda betrayed. Hell, I felt betrayed.”

“I can see that.”

“And you’ve gotta trust that your buddies have your back. Without that, people get killed.”

“Sure. That makes sense.”

“And like … it’s kinda fucking intimate living like that. You see one another in the showers. You spoon at night because the desert gets so goddamn cold. You don’t think about the fact that you’re lying nut to butt with a man because you’re freezing your fucking balls off. It’s just body heat you want. And it’s lonely as hell, so you kinda want that touch anyway, you know? No one talks about that part but it’s true. And no one gave a shit about Hayes and Frenchie being gay or bi or whatever. Long as they didn’t grope you while you spooned, who gave a fuck? But knowing Jackson and Hayes had fucking lied about the fact they were together and none of us had suspected it? That felt like betrayal.”

Donovan nodded. “I wouldn’t have considered it that way, but it makes perfect sense.”

“Like I said, it’s weird.”

“And complicated.”

“Yeah. For sure. I get why they lied. I get why they felt like they had no other choice. But I’ll be honest, I was pissed.”

“Did it ever cross your mind then that you”—Donovan dropped his voice—“might be anything but straight?”

Tyler shook his head. “Never once. Even when I got a couple of blowjobs it never made me think I ever wanted anything more than that with a guy.”

“And now?”

Tyler shot him a quizzical look.

“I mean, I’m not trying to push you to label yourself, but if you did, would you say you’re still straight?”

Tyler shrugged. “Less than I thought.”

“And what about a relationship? Can you ever see having that with a man or would that be totally out of the question?”

Tyler hesitated. “Honestly? I don’t know. It feels weird to even think about.”

“I get that.” But Donovan’s heart sank. Because there was a little part of him that had begun to wonder if this could be more but he’d just gotten confirmation that Tyler hadn’t even considered the idea. Fuck.

“We should get back to the booth.” Tyler glanced at his phone. “We’ve been gone awhile.”

“Yeah, you’re right.” Donovan crumpled up his napkin and set it on his empty plate along with his fork. Clearly Tyler wanted a change of subject as well. “Ugh, I’m fucking tired.”

“Same.” Tyler stood with a groan. “I’m fucking old.”

“You’re younger than I am,” Donovan teased. Though only by a few years.

“Yeah, but I’ve got a lot of miles on me.” Tyler’s sigh was weary.

Donovan rose to his feet, but as he turned to leave the table, he spotted something out of the corner of his eye that made him pause. He swiveled to get a better look at the tall man with golden blond hair walking toward the exit of the tent.

Donovan frowned. Is that …?

But no, it couldn’t be Jude. Donovan’s ex never ventured into Pendleton. He’d called it a town with no culture.

Besides, there were plenty of guys who looked like Jude. Tall, fit white men with thick sun-streaked light brown hair weren’t really that rare. Sure, the guy carried himself like Jude too, with an innate confidence that bordered on arrogance, but it couldn’t possibly be him. Donovan had to have imagined it.

Probably because his thoughts had drifted to Jude earlier.

Though why Donovan was thinking about his ex so much tonight was beyond him. Maybe it was because Jude’s birthday was coming up in a few weeks. Late September. Weird either way.

Tyler touched his arm. “Hey, you okay? You just got the strangest look on your face.”

Donovan glanced at him. “Yeah. Just thought I saw someone I knew.”

“Ahh, okay.”

Donovan glanced back at the exit, but the head of golden hair was gone. He had to have imagined it. Right?