The Spark by Vi Keeland
CHAPTER 26
Donovan
“This place is beautiful.” Autumn laid her napkin across her lap. “Have you been here before?”
I hesitated before answering that. The lawyer in me always played chess, trying to figure out where the conversation might lead, based on a given response. In this case, if I said yes, that could lead to her asking if I’d taken a date here, and I didn’t want her not to feel special.
Autumn lifted a brow. “Earth to Donovan. Are you there?”
I nodded. “Yeah, sorry. I just got stuck in my head. I have been here before once.”
“What do you mean, stuck in your head? Is something bothering you?”
Again, I took a minute to debate how this conversation might play out, and Autumn noticed.
“Talk to me,” she said. “What’s going on?”
I decided to come clean. “I’m overthinking shit because I don’t want to screw tonight up.”
“But what are you overthinking?”
“You asked me if I’d been here before. I have. But I was trying to figure out whether if I admitted that, you might be put off because I’d been here with someone else.”
“I see. Well, you being honest with me is more important than the fact that you brought another woman here.”
I raked a hand through my hair. “Yeah, of course. I’m sorry. It’s just been a long time since I was nervous on a date.”
Autumn smiled. “I changed ten times before you picked me up. So you’re not alone.”
My eyes dropped to her cleavage. “You picked the right one.”
She laughed. “Thank you. But what are we going to do about it?”
“Your dress?”
“No. Our nerves.”
I could think of a few ways to work out the nerves—none of which were part of her go slow edict. So I kept those thoughts to myself and shrugged. “Wine?”
She nodded. “That sounds perfect.”
The waitress came over to take our drink order, and Autumn picked out a bottle.
“You know,” she said, “when I first started dating again, my nerves were frayed. I canceled my first two dates because I couldn’t take the stress leading up to them. When I told my therapist about it, she suggested I write down a list of all the things I was nervous about and then a list of all the things I’m grateful for. It kind of sounds silly saying it out loud right now, but it worked pretty well for me.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t sound silly. It actually makes sense. Acknowledging a problem takes away its power.”
She nodded. “Want to try it? Since we’re both nervous?”
“Right now?”
“Yeah. We don’t have to write them down. Maybe we can just tell each other.”
“Alright. Ladies first.”
Autumn tapped her finger to her lip. “Okay…well…I’m nervous because I like you. And I’m afraid that if I allow myself to fall, I won’t see things I should see.”
Fuck. It hurt to hear how much that piece of shit had screwed her up. I reached across the table and took her hand. “A good man doesn’t have parts of himself he’s hiding, Autumn.”
She smiled sadly. “I do know that. But what I logically know and how my emotions handle things don’t always reconcile. I’m being honest about the things I’m nervous about.”
I nodded. “I get it.”
The waitress came over and brought the bottle of wine we’d ordered. She poured a small amount into a glass, and I deferred to Autumn to taste test.
She nodded. “It’s delicious. Thank you.”
“Would you like me to put an appetizer in for you while you look over the menu? We have homemade burrata today, and our fried calamari is one of our most popular dishes.”
I looked at Autumn, and she nodded. “I like both. Either is good with me.”
“We’ll take one of each, please.”
After the waitress disappeared, Autumn said, “So what about you? What are you nervous about? You said you were nervous about screwing up. But is there anything in particular that concerns you?”
I drank some of my wine and debated how honest to be. Realizing I was again filtering my thoughts, even when she had been frank with her answer, I decided to say screw it and go with complete honesty.
“I’m nervous because I’m crazy about you, and I’m afraid that if you see the truth about where I am, I’ll scare you away.”
Autumn smiled. “You’re crazy about me?”
“You can’t tell?”
She bit her lip. “Can I make another confession about something that makes me nervous?”
“Of course.”
“I don’t trust my own judgment anymore. So while I did sense how you felt, a part of me has been busy making up other reasons you’re interested in me.”
My brows drew together. “Like what?”
Autumn sipped her wine. “Well, you’re competitive, and sometimes men are attracted to women who don’t show an interest in them.”
“You think I’m playing a game?”
She shook her head. “I don’t… Well, not really. But that’s the thing—when you’ve lost trust in your own judgment, you overanalyze everything until you find something wrong. It’s like a compulsive need to find doubt in myself.”
I understood the psychology behind that, but I didn’t know how to quell the voices in her head. I supposed the only thing I could do would be to talk to them. So I closed my eyes.
“You have a little scar on your right knee. You put cinnamon in your coffee, but if it’s not your normal brand, you run your finger over the top of the shaker and taste test it. You also like to rummage through kitchen cabinets that aren’t yours when you think no one is watching. When you’re thinking about a problem, you tap your pointer to your lip, but when your thoughts are dirty, you bite it instead.”
I opened my eyes to find Autumn’s wide. “How do you know all that?”
“I saw you rummage through my kitchen cabinets the weekend we spent together. You thought I was sleeping, but the bedroom door was open a crack, and I could see you in the kitchen.”
“Why didn’t you say anything?”
I shrugged. “Because I wanted you to rummage through my cabinets if it made you happy.”
“How did you know about the scar on my knee?”
“You took a nap on the couch while we were watching a movie, and I couldn’t stop staring at you. I wanted to memorize every freckle, every curve…”
Autumn’s mouth was agape. She swallowed. “I guess I do tap my lip with my finger, too.”
I smiled. “I know you do. You know why I know?”
“Why?”
“Because I can’t keep my eyes off you, not since the first time we met. And back then, I had no idea you were going to take off. So, no…” I shook my head. “I can’t be interested in you because you’re the girl I can’t have, because I was a damn goner before you even left.”
Autumn’s face softened. “I don’t know what to say, Donovan.”
“You don’t have to say anything. Just give me the chance to show you…”
She looked me in the eyes for a long time before taking a deep breath and nodding. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She smiled.
The waitress delivered our appetizers. It felt like we needed the minute that gave us. Since the evening had gotten off to a heavy start, once the waitress left, I rounded our conversation back to what I thought was the safer part of Autumn’s therapy exercise.
“So what are we up to? Things we’re grateful for?”
“I think so. You want me to go first again?”
“Sure.”
She started to tap her finger to her lip, then smiled when she caught herself. “Okay, let’s see… I’m grateful for my health, good friends, having a job that’s rewarding, good food…” She looked up at me. “And second chances.”
“Nice…”
She sipped her wine and lifted her chin. “Your turn. What are you grateful for?”
“Well, Bud would be near the top of that list. I’m grateful for all the things he’s done for me over the years, and I’m grateful he wasn’t hurt worse than he was when he was attacked.”
“I’m grateful for that, too.” Autumn cut into her burrata.
“I’m also grateful for a career I like, friends who tolerate me, and having a nest egg in the bank—something I definitely didn’t grow up with.”
Autumn slipped a piece of burrata into her mouth, and her eyes shut. A look I could only describe as orgasmic came over her face. My eyes were glued to her lips. Damn. I’m jealous of a piece of cheese. I also started to harden under the table. This woman made me feel like a teenager. We were supposed to be taking things slow, and watching her eat got me worked up? Unfortunately, I sensed a lot of whacking off in my future.
She opened her eyes, and I cleared my throat, still staring at her beautiful lips. “Burrata. I’m extremely grateful for burrata.”
Autumn looked amused, yet truly innocent. “You’re a big fan of burrata?”
“I’m a tremendous fan of the face you make while you eat it.”
“What face do I make?”
I leaned forward. “The same one you made when I went down on you.”
She covered her mouth and blushed. “Oh my God, really?”
I nodded. “Really.”
Luckily the waitress came to check on us and see if we were ready to order dinner. Another minute of this conversation, and the white napkin over my lap would look more like I was trying to wave a flag to surrender.
This time, when we were alone again, I moved the conversation to something way safer.
“So how’s Storm doing?”
“He’s doing great. Though he keeps asking me when he can go work at Bud’s house. He really wants to earn that bicycle Bud promised him. But I wasn’t sure if Bud would feel up to it yet.”
“I stopped over there this morning, and he was rototilling part of the garden with one hand. He’s definitely feeling better.”
She smiled. “I’m glad to hear that. He’s the type of man you worry about if he sits around watching TV for too long.”
“Absolutely.”
“Well, if you think he’s really up for it, I could probably take him over there Sunday.”
“I’ll run it by him when I check in again, but I’m sure it will be fine.”
The rest of the night went by too fast, even though I stalled and dragged out dessert for so long that the waitress was giving us the evil eye. I just wasn’t ready for our first date to be over, and I was certain going slow didn’t include spending the night.
When we got to Autumn’s apartment, I parked.
“Would you want to go for a walk?” I asked. It was a nice enough night.
She pointed down to her shoes. “I normally would, but these aren’t really walking shoes.”
I’d parked under a streetlight so the inside of the car was pretty well lit. I followed her sexy legs down to the strappy, high-heeled sandals she had on.
“I forgot to mention how grateful I am for your shoes earlier.” My eyes trailed their way back up her legs and over the thin material of her dress. “And for that dress. I’m really damn thankful for that dress.”
She giggled. “What about my bra and underwear? Aren’t you grateful for them?”
“I don’t know. Let me see, so I can decide.”
Autumn leaned closer to me and took my hand. The beaming smile on her face made my heart swell in my chest.
“I had a really nice time tonight,” she said.
“Me, too.”
She bit down on her bottom lip. “You could…come up for a little while, if you want.”
Of course there was nothing I wanted more, but I wasn’t sure that was a good idea. As I inwardly debated her invitation, my eyes dropped down, and that’s when I noticed her nipples were hard—sticking out from her dress like the beautiful horns of a devil. There was no way I could go inside and keep my distance. And I couldn’t screw up going slow on our first official night. So I cleared my throat and drew on every ounce of willpower I had in me.
“It’s probably better if I don’t.”
Autumn looked a little disappointed, but she nodded. “You’re right. Thank you.”
We were both quiet as I walked her to the door. Inside the lobby, neither one of us pushed the elevator button. Autumn looked down for a minute before meeting my eyes.
“I think I should clarify that just because I want to take things slow, it doesn’t mean the desire to move faster, especially physically, isn’t there. Because it is…very much so.”
I could seriously get lost in the green of her eyes. I knew when she got worked up they turned almost pale gray, and that’s what they were now.
I cupped her cheeks. “I’ve wanted you since the day we met, even during those months I didn’t know if I’d see you again. What I desire is more than just being inside you, I want to consume you.”
Her eyes jumped between mine for a few seconds before she caught me completely off guard and launched herself at me. Our lips crashed, and I stumbled back a few steps, fighting to keep my balance. When I steadied myself, I wrapped my arms around her and lifted until her feet came off the ground. Autumn threaded her fingers into my hair and tugged, pulling me closer, even though it was physically impossible to find a fraction of an inch of space between us. I wound my hand into the back of her hair and yanked to gain access to her neck. Then sucked down to her collarbone and back up to her ear.
“You’re killing me,” I groaned. “I’m going to get us arrested for indecent exposure in a minute.”
Autumn mumbled through our joined lips. “I know a good lawyer. Don’t worry about it.”
I have no damn idea how long we stayed that way—maybe fifteen or twenty minutes. But when we broke for air, Autumn’s lips were swollen, her hair had that sexy, just fucked look, and both of us were panting.
I used my thumb to wipe away the lipstick smeared beneath her lip. “I’m so hard, I’m not sure I can walk.”
She giggled.
God, I love that sound.
“My lady parts are swollen and tingly.”
I groaned and shut my eyes. “You’re killing me, Red.”
We stood in the lobby for a few more minutes. Eventually, it was me who pushed the elevator button. When it came, I brushed my lips with hers one last time.
“I’ll text you tomorrow? Is that okay?”
She nodded with a smile. “Definitely.”
Autumn stepped into the elevator and said goodnight. As the doors began to slide closed, she put her arm out, causing them to bounce open again.
“Hang on a second…”
She dipped one hand under the hem of her skirt, reached up to her waist, somehow managing not to expose herself, and the next thing I knew she was shimmying panties down her legs.
Fuck me. A black lace thong.
The scrap of material reached the floor, and she stepped out before leaning forward and shoving them in my pocket.
“You said you weren’t sure if you were grateful for my panties since you hadn’t seen them.” Autumn stepped back into the elevator and wiggled her fingers. She had the biggest devilish grin on her face. “Goodnight, Donovan.”
I stood speechless as the doors slid closed, then shook my head.
I was wrong. Her smile wasn’t devilish—she was the devil.
Pulling the lacy thong from my pocket, I looked at it for a minute before closing it into my fist and bolting for the door. Suddenly, I couldn’t get out of there fast enough. The minute I got home, I’d be wearing this thing—around my cock while my hand had a field day.
