Heart of My Monster (Monster Trilogy #3) by Rina Kent

Maybe her ghost is haunting me because I failed to protect her. Though there’s no particular haunting. Just a shake of the head here and a fucking hug there as if she’s putting my pieces back together again so I can survive one more day.

I wish I were as unfeeling as Karina and Rai think. While I generally am, that’s not the case when it comes to Sasha.

Living without her is similar to falling back into that weak, aimless, and absolutely pathetic version of myself.

No. I had a purpose then.

Now, I have fucking nothing.

I snatch a bottle of vodka on my way out. While I don’t like the stuff, Sasha did.

It was her favorite drink on the rare occasion she consumed alcohol. She was a stereotypical Russian who loved her vodka.

Now, it’s my poison of choice.

All the cars that crowded my driveway are now gone, letting my guards breathe a little. I don’t want to seem biased—though I am—but I have the best men.

Adrian and some of his men served time there, too, but there were only a few of them. I was the only one with enough power to take all of my men with me when I left this house. I lost many of them, but the ones who remain are the most disciplined, loyal men any leader could have.

Despite their general depression at losing Sasha, Maksim, and Yuri all at the same time, they’ve been giving one thousand percent under Viktor’s command.

They might be the only reason I’m still hanging on here and not buried six feet under with Sasha. She considered them friends, and I’ll never forgive myself if I let anything happen to them.

If she learned about Maksim, she’d hate me forever.

And Yuri…I don’t know what the fuck happened to him. It’s like the earth split open and swallowed him without leaving a trace.

I thought maybe he went after Maksim, but it’s not his style to disappear without informing me.

He could’ve defected or…I don’t know.

I don’t fucking care at this point.

“Boss!” Viktor comes running in my direction as I head to the car.

I ignore him and open the door. “Not now. I’m done for the day.”

“This is an emergency.”

“I still have no fucks to give.”

He rips my hand from the handle and slams the door shut.

“What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“You need to see this.”

“I swear to fuck—” I halt in my tracks when a very familiar face walks toward us, wearing cargo pants and a disheveled T-shirt. “Maksim.”

He offers a strained smile. “Long time no see, Boss.”

I approach him slowly, as if I’m witnessing another ghost other than Sasha’s persistent one. Short of some healing bruises on his face, he looks exactly like the Maksim I know.

“He got out of a cab in front of the mansion,” Viktor offers. “The guards at the front called to tell me about his arrival.”

“What the fuck happened?” I ask. “Why did you disappear?”

“I was captured after I sent you that initial text, and then they got rid of my communication outlet.”

I narrow my eyes. “How did you get free?”

“One of them helped me.”

“Who are they and them, Maksim?”

“Anton Ivanov and Sasha. Though you probably know Anton as Yuri. He was fucking lying all these years, Boss. Actually, he killed Yuri five years ago, faked that accident and took his place, then—”

“Wait. Go back.” My throat grows dry with every word. “Did you just say Sasha?”

“Yeah. She said, and I quote, ‘I’m alive. Though you probably know by now that the body was a ploy. Next time I see you, I’m going to kill you.’”

“She…is alive?” The words strangle me on their way out.

“Yeah. She managed to escape the bombing, but that’s not the point right now. She helped me leave Russia because her family wants to kill everyone in this house, including your family. She said she wants to set up a meeting for just the two of you so no one else gets killed in this war. She’s doing this behind their backs, so they can’t find out…”

Maksim trails off when I drop the bottle of vodka. It crashes against the ground as I throw my head back and bark out a long, deep laugh.

Life rushes through my limbs all at once, washing away all emptiness and the hell that came with it.

I’m breathing. No.

I’m alive.

Fuck.

Fucking fuck.

She actually got me. She nearly drove me insane, but all this time, she was in Russia doing fuck knows what.

She wants to kill me the next time she sees me?

By all means.

Anything for my beautiful wife.





9





SASHA





“Sasha!”

I straighten on the makeshift stool I made from some boxes as Anton barges into the garage. I let my rifle rest on my knees, my fingers strangling the cloth I’ve been using to clean it. I prefer to do it here so Mike doesn’t see this side of me—or his family.

He’s just a kid who loves his cartoons and candy, and I want to preserve that innocence for as long as possible.

Cold air penetrates my bones and the blizzard slips inside before my brother slams the door.

His coat is covered with snow and his face is so white, it could compete with the harsh natural elements. His eyes blaze worse than the storm outside, terrifying in their depths.