My Heart’s Home by Kris Michaels

Chapter 11

Mercy watched as the coroner hauled Dina out of her shelter. She'd asked Dezzy to stay with Dina's kids, Jamal and Shelly, who were sitting on a log opposite of Punt. Punt, bless him, was trying to keep them occupied and put himself between the kids and the coroner. A plainclothes officer stepped up to the crowd of women, and she stepped back, dropping her eyes.

"Does anyone know her name?"

"Dina." One of the others said her name.

"Last name?"

The guy looked up, and Mercy averted her eyes but spoke, "Think it was Johnson."

"Okay, thanks." The man flipped his notebook shut and started to turn away.

"Mister, she has kids."

The man turned back and glanced at the shanty. "How many and where are they?"

Another woman answered. "Two. A boy and a girl.” She pointed to where Punt was telling a growing crowd of children a story, his hands and face animated as he spoke.

"I'll take them into the hospital and get social services to come get them. Any idea if there are relatives?"

Mercy snorted to herself. If there were relatives, maybe Dina wouldn't have been here, and perhaps she wouldn't be dead. No one spoke.

The cop sighed. "Yeah, that was a pretty stupid question, wasn't it?"

Several women chuckled quietly. "All right." He pulled out his cell phone and made a call using numbers to talk. She'd heard Ian and his friends use that type of language when they were bullshitting over beers. The cop's voice changed. "Yeah, two kids. I'll transport to Baptist General. Call the social workers in." There was a pause, and the man snapped, "I don't give a shit if it is Thanksgiving. These kids lost their mom. The least those social workers can do is get them into a home so they don't freeze to death. The conditions here are worse than deplorable."

He turned and gazed at the women standing near him. Like Mercy, they all dropped their heads. She spun and headed back to pick up Dezzy and go back to the tent. The officer's scorn burned like acid. He'd convicted all of them of being bad parents without knowing their story, without understanding that most of them were doing everything they could to protect their children.

When she drew close, Dezzy glanced in her direction. Mercy nodded to the tent, and Dezzy got up to join her. It was Thanksgiving. How had she not known that? Well, it wasn't like she had a calendar. It was their second Thanksgiving since becoming homeless. She glanced at the sky. Without being able to see the sun, she had no idea what time it was. The lines for the soup kitchens that made Thanksgiving dinner would no doubt be longer than the food could sustain. Mercy had saved a sandwich from their bag lunches yesterday. They would share that. The bread would be stale, but the peanut butter would be good protein.

"Mom, how did Dina die?" Dezzy asked when they were settled in the blankets and sharing the only food they'd have today.

"She took some bad drugs."

"She died in front of them, you know. Jamal said she slept with her eyes open all night." Dezzy chewed slowly, a habit they’d both adopted to make the food last longer. "Why do people use drugs when they know it’s bad for them? I mean, hello, it's stupid."

Mercy sighed. "Drugs and alcohol provide an escape. But, unfortunately, sometimes people assume that the drugs will make things better, even if it is just for a short time." She handed Dezzy a quarter of her half of the sandwich.

Dezzy took it and broke it in half, giving the larger part back to her. "Again, that's stupid. When they aren't high or drunk, the problem is still there."

"Right? Who knows what goes through their minds?” She knew. She knew the desperation and the guilt that piled up on the feelings of uselessness and despair—the overwhelming sense of failure. The sensations played intimately against her nerves, grinding away until her heart bled. Why someone would want to escape even for a short time was all too obvious. Why she wouldn't succumb was even more apparent. Destiny Rene Cahill.

She brushed the crumbs into her hand and flicked them into her mouth before she rummaged through her backpack. Although Destiny wasn't in school, she still needed to read. They'd found a dumpster of books behind one of the big bookstores with the covers torn off and each carried an armful home. Destiny read with her every day. They read about the civil war in a fictional account about brothers who fought on opposite sides of the conflict. When it was this cold, they'd read during the daylight and make up stories about what they'd read at night. Mercy coveted the blank pages. She had a small pencil that she used to draw pictures about what they'd read. It was a way to relieve stress and escape while they passed the time, taking their mind off the cold.

Destiny giggled and flipped the page. "What?"

"Nothing."

The word was far too mischievous to be anything but trouble. Mercy snagged the book and turned the page back. She felt her eyebrows bury themselves in her hairline. "Destiny Rene!"

"What? We've had the birds and bees talk, you know."

Her mouth dropped open. "But this is something you don't need to know about yet."

Destiny laughed. "Mom, you don't think the older kids haven't told us all about sex? What do you think we do when we're just sitting out there? Watching the little ones play games? Pah-lease."

"Dezzy, you're only thirteen!"

"Earth to Mother, most of the older girls around here are sleeping with someone."

"Who?" She wanted to know because there was no way Dezzy was going to be hanging around them anymore.

"Mom." Destiny dragged the word out into at least seven syllables. "Seriously. I can't just pretend not to know what I already know."

"But you shouldn't know any of it!" She dropped the book at the same time she dropped her head into her hands.

Dezzy sat up and nudged her with her shoulder. "Carson said that he found out at school when he was my age."

"Carson?" She lifted her head. Who’s Carson?

"He's a guy from over on the east side. Dina hung out with him sometimes. He talked about it a lot. Then we talked about what he said. He was gross. No teeth and sores all over, but he acted like he was a movie star with all his lies about the women he'd… done it to."

"How did I not know this was happening?" Mercy covered her mouth with her hand.

"Because you're too busy making sure I'm fed and safe. Which, by the way, only a few mothers do. Thank you for that."

"Oh, baby. You never have to thank me for taking care of you. I just wish I could do better." Mercy pulled her daughter into a hug and closed her eyes, praying again for a miracle.

The zipper on the tent opened, and Cam dipped into the tent, a wide smile on his face. "Come see."

Destiny beat her out of the tent. A large stack of wood and three large boxes sat outside. "What is it?"

"Well, it isn't Thanksgiving dinner, but I found three cases of FSRs by a dumpster. They aren't expired. That means highly nutritious food and a warm fire." Cam shrugged. "It isn't much."

Mercy spun and hugged him and kissed Cam on the lips. "Thank you! This is fantastic."

Destiny went over to the boxes and picked up a plastic sleeve that held smaller plastic bags. "What is an FSR?"

"A first strike ration," Bull said as he approached the tents. "Not bad tasting and full of nutrients to keep you going. We used them when we were moving fast and couldn't stop to heat up MREs. Where did you get these?" He pinned Cam with a stare.

"Outside the old Army-Navy store on Fifth. I went there to see if I could get something to help me carry the wood.” He nodded to the pile of wood strapped together with pieces of rope that had loops circling the wood.

"You carried all this back?" Mercy looked at the load of wood. "That has to be a hundred pounds of wood."

"I won't lie; I stopped several times." Cam chuckled and pulled out six of the smaller bags from the boxes, handing them to Destiny and her. "I'll get the fire going. Bull, I'm willing to share these. You want to handle that? Kids first?"

"Got it. Enzo!" Bull yelled.

Enzo popped out of one of the huts down the hill. "Yo!"

"Come help."

The man shoved a cap on his head and started the trudge up the hill without question.

Bull turned and nodded to Cam. "Thank you."

"It was a lucky thing, but I was right. There is a dump of wood at that construction site. If we are careful, I don't think they'd mind us gathering the scraps to burn." Cam set a longer piece of wood against a rock and slammed his boot down on the piece, breaking it in half. Mercy flinched at his sudden movement. Cam's brow creased, and he cocked his head, questioning her. She tried to smile, but she'd been so conditioned to duck at Ian's sudden movements that two years later, she still flinched.

"Here, baby, let's get these into the tent." She let Dezzy crawl in, and after her daughter put the three she was carrying away, Mercy handed the other three to her.

Dezzy came back to the flap of the tent. "Mom?" She held one in her hand and looked imploringly at Mercy.

Mercy glanced back to where Cam was working. She held up a finger and walked over to him. "Would it be all right for Dezzy to open one of the bags?"

Cam stopped and smiled. "I'm surprised she hasn't already dug in. Go ahead. I'll be in the tent in just a minute. When this fire catches, we can come out and warm up some of the coffee mix."

"Coffee?" She did a little dance and headed back to the tent.

Destiny laughed at her. "Mom, you really can't dance."

"Who cares?" She dropped down and moved into the tent. They opened one pouch together and took out the contents. "Filled blueberry turnover, beef nacho pocket sandwich, sweet and spicy tuna, turkey snack, two bars… oh look, one is chocolate, the other is apple cinnamon."

Dezzy pulled out more. "Crackers and snack bread. Nuts and fruit. Zapplesauce?" She held the package up, and Mercy read it. "I don't know. Maybe a brand name?"

"Look! Coffee, creamer, and sugar." She lifted her arms and did a little wiggle on her butt.

This time, Destiny did a wiggle dance, too. "This is so great, Momma! Cam takes really good care of us, doesn't he?"

"He does, baby."

She glanced up to see him dipping into the tent. "The barrel will take a good ten minutes to get going."

"Perfect. Look at this bounty!" She motioned to all the packets displayed around them.

"Happy Thanksgiving." Cam picked up a full pack and handed it to her.

"Oh, this is more than enough for both Dezzy and I."

Cam smiled. "Let Dezzy have one, and you and I will take one, too. We have three left to ration out."

Mercy smiled and accepted the package before she asked Destiny, "Do you want what's behind curtain number one…” she motioned to the packets on the blankets, “…or do you want what's behind curtain number two?"

Destiny laughed. "I'll take this! Except for the coffee. You can have the coffee."

"Deal." Mercy opened hers at the same time as Cam opened his. After everything was spread out, they swapped for favorites and made a game of what to open first. She laughed until her sides hurt. Destiny and Cam teased each other and tossed towelette packages like horseshoes. The pack they landed closest to was the one they had to eat first. Destiny cheated, and Cam pulled her back, tickling her until she cried uncle.

They each ate until they were full and carefully put away what was left, which was substantial. Destiny chose to stay in the tent while Mercy and Cam made coffee over the burn barrel. Cam put a stick through the handle of the camp cup they used and hinged the water over the barrel near the fire but not over it. He dropped his arm around her, and she snuggled closer to him.

"Thank you. This was a wonderful day."

Cam squeezed her closer for a moment. "It wasn't nearly enough." There was regret in his voice.

She leaned up and kissed him before she snuggled against him again. "Yet far better than we expected."

A movement along the trail between tents caught her attention. She couldn't see who was walking around, but it didn't matter. She was full, warm, and safe. The combination of those three sensations had been foreign to her before Cam. She stood beside him, having next to nothing to her name, and yet at the moment, the feeling that she had everything she ever needed overwhelmed her. She stared into the flames. She was in love with a man who treated her and her daughter with unmanufactured care and gentle tenderness she'd never expected to find.