Heartless Savage by Ivy Blake

Chapter Thirteen

Megan

Lola had poked and prodded me for information about Austin all the way home from school. I’d rebutted every single one of her questions with a shrug of my shoulders, tired of denying the rumours she’d been told. I resorted to ignoring her instead.

By the time we’d gotten home, Lola had lost interest, allowing me to retreat to the safety of my room. School had been a lot today and I was in dire need of peace and quiet. I couldn’t stand being around people right now, especially people that cared more about potential gossip instead of my actual feelings. As I sat in bed and searched the internet for a new series or movie to watch, I was glad that I hadn’t stuck around for tutoring with Austin. Apart from staring me down at lunch, I was yet to hear anything from him- I’d given up assuming that he’d apologise because he just seemed so far up his own ass and too self-obsessed to worry about my feelings. So screw his scholarship and screw him.

Netflix seemed to be suggesting an overhaul of romantic movies which I couldn’t be less in the mood for. I wanted something to escape into, not something to remind me how fucked up my love life was. My eyes landed on a movie. Love and Other Drugs. It had been the movie that me and my ex-boyfriend, Sam, had watched together a million times when we were dating. Now I couldn’t stand the sight of it, even though I’d once considered it to be my favourite movie.

The movie poster alone was enough to remind me of Sam and our tumultuous relationship, which I hadn’t thought about in a while. He’d been the guy I lost my virginity to, and while he was really nice to me, I couldn’t say I ever loved him, but that wasn’t good enough reason for us to break up according to him. For a year, we’d been on and off and back and forth, I hadn’t been able to stand up for myself or for what I really wanted because he kept shutting me down and guilt tripping me. Luckily, he moved schools and soon grew bored of being long distance, which was the perfect out for me. Being with Sam was the only real experience I had being in a ‘proper’ relationship outside of secret flings and stolen kisses or text exchanges that never led anywhere.

Making out with Austin at Nate’s party had thrown all my previous experiences out of the window. Even though I hated his guts and all the shitty things he did to me, I couldn’t deny how he’d made me feel. I was too ashamed to put it into words and knew that it was best to forget all about that night, but my memory continued to resist me. I needed a distraction, and fast. I put on an old episode of Friends, feeling fatigue from too much choice, putting on my headphones and burrowed myself into my blanket, my back facing away from the window.

Halfway through the episode, I heard a scratching sound that wasn’t coming from my laptop. I slid my headphones off and peered out of the blanket, nearly jumping out of my skin when I realised someone was in my room.

“Oh my god!” I exclaimed, throwing my blankets off of me as I jumped out of bed.

“Relax!” I blinked twice as I realised that it wasn’t a stranger, but Austin Hunter standing in my bedroom, my window wide open. The asshole had climbed up the tree and through my window like a maniac! What if someone had seen him?

“What the fuck?!” I yelled, enraged and simultaneously embarrassed that I wasn’t dressed more appropriately in my old oversized t-shirt while he was still in his school uniform, his blazer and tie looking crisp as ever.

“No one answered the door,” said Austin calmly as he circled my room, examining different things on my desk and my bookshelf. “This is nicer than I thought it would be,” he mused.

“Hello? Do you not understand privacy or I don’t know, the law?” I asked. This guy was not being serious. Austin turned to me, his lips curled up in that familiar smirk, however this time the expression didn’t reach his eyes.

“Oh I understand them alright,” he said flatly. I folded my hands across my chest, concealing the fact that I wasn’t wearing a bra.

“So what do you want now? Were you not the one who stormed out at Nate’s?” I asked, my voice and my face hard. I wanted to yell at him, to scream at the top of my lungs until he understood just how shit he’d made me feel. I wanted him to understand even though it was all his fault. Austin rubbed his temple and clenched his jaw, the muscles working overtime.

“Can we sit down?” he asked, gesturing to my messy bed.

“Since when do you ask for permission?” I shot back indignantly. Austin growled, about to snap back with something else but I watched him stop himself and clear his throat before responding.

“It’s polite,” he said through gritted teeth.

“So you do know what manners are,” I said in a patronising voice as I made my bed, sitting down on it once it was in an acceptable condition. Austin sat down beside me, leaving a gap between us. I wasn’t sure if I was offended or relieved that he wasn’t closer, but I did know that I was much more concerned about what he had to say that was so urgent.

Austin stared at my wall, his knee jumping up and down as he prepared his words. I couldn’t help but stare at him, having never seen him in this state, a state that I could only describe as nervous. I knew that he was human, but ever since the day I’d met him, Austin had shown a very limited range of emotions, so this was new to me. He cleared his throat again, and turned to me.

“You realise I still need a tutor right?”

My eyes nearly rolled into the back of my head. So he risked his life climbing up a tree to ask me this? There weren’t enough words in the dictionary to cuss him out. Heat boiled up in my chest, threatening to bubble over. It was like he was testing me, to see how far he could push me before I murdered him. If that was the case, then Austin was doing a phenomenal job.

“Why the hell would I want to still do that?” I shot at him. “You’re fucking delusional if you think I still want anything to do with you!”

“You seem to be the delusional one here,” he fired back, “have you forgotten these?”

Austin brought the pictures up on his phone once again, swiping through the incriminating evidence. My cheeks were hot and I was starting to see red, my hands shaking with anger as I looked at the pictures. It was a lose-lose situation for me regardless. Even if I did tutor him, there was no way I could guarantee that he’d actually delete those photos or that he didn’t have them backed up somewhere else in his house. Hell, who was to say that he hadn’t already shown them to his friends?

“They’re just pictures,” I said as calmly as I could through gritted teeth. “If that’s what it’s going to take to get you to finally leave me alone, then fine. Send them.” My last sentence came out more wobbly than I intended, but clearly the message still reached Austin who seemed taken aback by my words.

In one sense, it could be seen as giving up, but both of us really knew what this meant. The pictures lost power if I didn’t give a shit about them (or at least I didn’t seem to), therefore making Austin’s bargaining chip obsolete.

“If these get out, you’ll be ruined,” he said, his eyes flashing. I could tell he was desperate to get on my nerves, to make me bend to his will.

“I doubt it’ll be anything I haven’t experienced already, thanks to you,” I spat, and I meant very single word. Austin growled and shoved his phone in his pocket, I was clearly getting underneath his skin.

“I need to get this scholarship!” he yelled, so loudly I was glad that Lola and Mom were both out or they definitely would have heard him.

“Well then you need to find someone else.” I pointed to the door. “I’d prefer if you left that way.” We were done, there was nothing else to say. All he cared about was himself and I had no time for a self-involved jerk who only wanted to use me and toss me aside when it suited him. It didn’t matter how attractive he was.

Austin slammed his fist on my bed which only bounced underneath the weight of his hand. I watched as he breathed heavily and stared at the ceiling before he finally brought himself to look at me.

“Do you want me to show you out?” I asked as I stood up.

“Sit down,” he ordered.

“Fuck off,” I shot back, “you don’t get to tell me what to do.”

“Megan-”

“Stop, I just want you to go!” I cried, my lip quivering threatening tears. I hated how my name sounded in Austin’s mouth, each syllable came out soft and gentle like he cared about me. I’d much rather he call me Virgin again than say my name like that. There was a pause as the gravity of my words permeated the air between us.

“I’m… I’m sorry okay,” he muttered, so quietly I almost missed it. My breath caught in my throat. There was no way this was happening. There was no way that Austin was in my bedroom apologising to me of his own accord. There was no way that this could be anything but a dream.

“You’re sorry?” I said slowly, not even putting any effort in to conceal the disbelief in my voice.

“That’s what I said,” Austin shot back quickly before reverting to his calm voice again.

“I’m sorry about Nate’s and all the shit that happened at school.” He looked up at me, searching my eyes with his own as he tried to gauge my reaction. I kept my face as empty as possible, my tone as flat as possible as I tried to digest his words.

“If you’re so sorry, why did you do it in the first place? Why did you take me upstairs? Why did you spread those rumours, Austin?” His eyes were begging me to stop but now I’d started, the questions kept rolling off my tongue. “Why do you insist on treating me like shit but you won’t leave me alone?” The ice queen gig was up as tears began to fall down my face.

“I- I don’t know,” said Austin, and I could tell from his voice that while he was frustrated, he was actually being honest. “I can’t explain it, I’m just really sorry about all that shit, okay?”

“That’s not good enough!” I sobbed, I could barely see him through my tears. If only he knew what it was like to be on the other side of his torment, to constantly be looked at with both desire and scorn, the emotional whiplash that he caused me. “You just don’t get it,” I said quietly as I wiped my tears with my hands.

Austin stood up from my bed and walked towards me a light blue handkerchief in his outstretched hand. I looked down at it then back at him, refusing to accept any kindness from him.

“I’m not tutoring you,” I said defiantly.

“Take the damn handkerchief,” Austin growled, pressing it into my hand. I frowned at him so that he knew I was only accepting the gesture begrudgingly before I used it to wipe away the rest of my tears.

“Are you actually sorry or are you just trying to guilt me into tutoring you?” I asked after a moment. Austin closed his eyes and sighed heavily.

“I’m being serious. I’m sorry for being a dick to you.” I blinked up at him unsure of what to say. “You don’t deserve it,” he added quietly, his eyes open again, this time looking more sincere. Up close, I could see how long and delicate his eyelashes were- someone really was God’s favourite.

“Megan?” Austin raised his hand to my cheek, disarming me with his touch once more, like he’d done that night at Nate’s.

“Yeah?” I breathed, my heart beating faster than it had ever beaten before as I melted against his touch. My eyes searched his face for a sign of danger, any sign that he was lying or was going to hurt me again.

“If you do still want to tutor me, I won’t be mad,” whispered Austin playfully, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. His eyes were still serious however.

“I’ll have to think about that one,” I said, knowing that there was no way I could make a rational decision while he was touching me like this.

“Anything I can do to convince you?”

“Nothing at all,” I said coyly, my eyes drawn to his soft pink lips.

“You might be good at English, but you’re a terrible liar,” Austin purred before he pushed himself against me trapping me between the door and his body.

“Takes one to know one.” The words had barely left mouth before we pounced on each other. Our hungry lips searched with ravenous passion as we kissed each other deeply. My hand was in Austin’s hair as he bit my bottom lip, forcing a moan to escape from my mouth. His hand dropped to my thigh which involuntarily wrapped around his back as he grinded into my body generating that familiar heat within me that only he had been able to conjure up.

“Fuck,” he hissed as he trailed kisses down my neck, making me throw my head back in pleasure. All sense and logic had gone out of the window, all I knew was that this felt so fucking amazing and I didn’t want it to stop. He picked me up and threw me on the bed, barely giving me any time to catch my breath before he tore off my pants and began kissing up my thighs. As I lay back, all I could see were stars. Austin played with my clit through my underwear, and by the way he chuckled to himself, I could tell that he felt smug about the fact that I was already dripping wet. He lowered himself on top of me and started kissing me again, running his fingers through my hair and over my body, leaving little fires everywhere his hands touched me. I helped him take off his shirt and pants, almost breathless as I sensed what was going to happen next. It was dangerous territory again.

I peeled off my shirt and sat back on my bed, waiting for Austin to find a condom. Unfortunately for us, we were interrupted by the incessant buzzing of a phone. Austin dropped the condom and reached for his phone, bringing it to his ear just as it cut off.

“Shit!” he cursed as he started gathering up his clothes.

“Is everything okay?” I asked, suddenly thrown off-guard by the change in atmosphere.

“I need to go,” Austin said as he finished buttoning up his shirt. I watched as he tried to call whoever had called him, but when they didn’t answer he swore again.

“Right,” I said, even though I didn’t want him to leave. I couldn’t believe he was doing this again. I couldn’t believe I was letting him. What could be so important? Austin gave me a lazy wave as he stormed out my bedroom. I heard his feet running down my stairs, going quiet after he’d left the house, slamming the front door behind him. Great. Another day with Austin, another sudden exit and frustrated Megan.