Chalk by Lily J. Adams
Chapter Twelve: Unfinished Business
Lucinda
“You used to love these pizzas. We ate way too many of them back then. I thought I was going to explode and turn into an Oompa Loompa.” I groaned, reaching out for another slice even though I was definitely already full.
Easy laughter filled the kitchen.
Chalk and I were back on the sentimental path. His presence felt like walking down a tree-lined street into the past. “You force fed me! What could I do? We hadn’t been dating that long. I didn’t want you to feel bad if I didn’t eat the pizza,” Chalk protested.
Now we were eating pizza at his house and kicking back with beer.
I held up a floppy piece as the cheese dripped down from it. “Look at this now? We’re right back here.” I stretched out the cheese with my teeth, grinning like a kid.
Chalk’s short, blonde hair looked good on him, he was so damn cute. Every time I saw him, the more my heart skipped a beat. I still didn’t know where I stood with him, but we were past the timid stages. It was hard to admit it hurt my heart to see him with Angie. I saw her flirting, I saw her touch his arm with the tips of her fingers. It made it feel like a knife went through my gut. “We are right back here. Together again,” I repeated. Oops. That part slipped out wrong and I couldn’t retrieve it.
Dimples near the curve of his lips released me from the feeling being unrequited.
“Together again,” he intoned, as his crystal blue eyes locked on mine.
So many words unspoken, delicate threads of our history that were begging to be woven back together again.
“Can I ask you a personal question, Chalk?” This was it. I would never know if I didn’t ask.
“Sure. Please.” His eyes were trained on me.
I placed my pizza delicately back into the box. “Are you with Angie Carmichael?” I asked softly. “I know it’s technically none of my business, so you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.” I placed my finger over a grease spot on the pizza box, trying to distract myself from any painful truth that he was about to deliver.
“No, I umm. I was never dating her.” Chalk’s voice had a husk to it as his piercing blue eyes met mine. “You came back in and shook things up, and if I’m being totally honest I – umm, I’ve been confused about things. How everything between us is fitting together. You know.” His eyes wouldn’t let me go.
The feeling of exposure grew as I gave him a sympathetic look. “Me too. There are feelings still inside of me – I mean towards you. I’m, ah – finding it difficult not to tell you that,” I stammered.
Chalk threw his head back, and when it fell forward, there was a look of amusement on his face. “Ahhhh, we are – we are, I don’t know…a little bit of a mess, huh?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know…maybe we are, but I think we are discovering some beautiful things about one another. I’m sorry I abandoned the family, Chalk. I am. I want to tell you that.” My fingers floated over and he locked his into mine. They fit like a glove. Like we belonged together.
Chalk looked down at my fingers stroking the back of his hand, then his eyes rested on my lips. “I forgive you. I’m sorry if I made you feel any less than perfect when you were with me. You were as beautiful then as you are now, Lucy. We got back here so hey…that’s something.”
“You never did that, Chalk. It was all me. My issues. They are long gone now.”
Leaning close, we rested our foreheads together.
Chalk pulled his lean frame back from me while inhaling. “We used to have fun together. We went bowling, I took you on rides. We were freer…” He scrubbed his hand over his face and looked into my eyes.
I popped a mushroom into my mouth as I reminisced. “The ferris wheel. You were so scared to go on there. Who knew that big, bad Chalk was afraid of an amusement ride?”
Chalk shook his head from side to side. “Hey! That thing sitting up in the air and not looking like we could get down would scare anyone. That guy running the ride didn’t even look like he knew what the hell he was doing. You can’t blame me for that one.”
“Still funny. We’ve got so many memories. So many.” A deep smile crept onto my lips.
“I’ve never found anyone like you, Lucy,” Chalk professed as he leaned forward on his seat bending his head to mine. His knee was locked in between mine and his hands ran over the back of my hand, sending light electrical pulses through it.
The words I wanted to hear. Needed to hear. They were coming. I could feel it. Sense it. Taste it between us.
“We’ve got unfinished business, you and I. There were a few women like Angie. Just flirtations, and no one ever stuck to me. I kept thinking it was just that I wasn’t ready.” He paused in a lapse of frustration. “But I realize I couldn’t get on with my life because my heart is still with you,” he confessed.
“It is?” My voice came out more as a squeak rather than the calm, serene answer I wanted to provide. Love pours out of you in so many different ways.
“Of course, it is. Every day I look at Sarah and she reminds me of you. I can’t not see you in her. She has your cute nose, and those perfect lips.”
I could tell by his voice he was intensely proud of Sarah. “I want to be with you and share in your life,” I admitted as more hidden confessions came tumbling out.
“Do you think you can get over the Angie thing now? There was never anything there on my side. I have to admit, I did charm her, but it was for the club. I know that sounds lame and like an excuse but damn, I never even kissed her... I’m into you. We got a history that can’t be touched.”
“You’re right about that. I’ve had to battle enough and I don’t want to battle you about a woman.” I gave him the cold, hard truth of how I felt.
Chalk pulled my fingers up to meet his mouth and kissed my hands, closing his eyes as if he was trying to draw in every part of our story to him. “You don’t have to battle. There is no battle. I know we didn’t make it together to fight through things, but I promise you if you get sick again, I’m going to be there for you. I didn’t have a clue what to do back then. I do now.”
His fierce declaration made me feel more secure. “Chalk, you did so much for me. You tried so hard to take care of me. I would think of this while I was away from here. The way you looked back then, when I was sick. So tired and lost. It was all my fault. Well, my illness was at fault. I had to learn that in therapy. It was never you. Let’s not talk about it anymore. I want to move on from it. In fact, I have moved on. For more than a year now, I’ve been renewed. It’s gone forever. We’ve addressed it, there’s no need for you to feel guilty. We did the best we could. Slate clean, okay?”
“Slate clean.” He squeezed my hand.
Both of us sighed, lifting the heavy burdens from the past off our shoulders. The sigh in unison made us both break out in giggles. Then it happened. Chalk’s handsome face drifted towards mine as his large hands slid up the length of my body towards my hips. His eyes smoked with desire.
My lips were wet, waiting for something I’d dreamed about for so long. We were two magnets coming together, his hand on the side of my face as his lips met mine, easing the confusion and the angst of the past. I allowed myself to feel the strength and fire of his kiss.
Slowly, we drew back from one another and I realized that…No matter where he went… I was. No matter where I went…he was.
“Your lips taste even better than they used to,” Chalk confessed as he licked his.
I giggled as I stroked his lips with my finger. “Same. The coming back together kiss is so much sweeter.”
He stroked the side of my face with his knuckle. “Yes, it is. I think my pizza’s cold, but I’m okay with that. Do you want me to reheat yours?”
“Nope. I like cold pizza.” I touched the top of mine with my fingertip. “Besides, mine is still lukewarm, fine by me.”
“I’ll make you a cup of tea to keep you warm.” He sank a hand into the side of my hair and kissed me on the temple, leaving a warmth that seeped into my bones.
Home was here. Home was right here in Holbeck where I belonged with my family. I was so lucky. The man still wanted me. He hadn't taken a wife, hadn’t been serious with anyone. I could pinch myself to believe this was all real.
Chalk came back with a cup of tea for me.
I wrapped my hands around its porcelain edges and blew on the hot liquid.
“How are your parents? I miss them,” Chalk said. He was a favorite, especially to my father for some odd reason. They seemed to be able to sit on the porch and talk about absolutely nothing and feel like they were getting along just fine. My mother was always impressed with the way he took care of me and Sarah, and she never had a bad word to say about him.
“They miss you too, trust me,” I said convincingly. “Dad, especially. I guess they didn’t want to overstep the mark between us as a couple. They felt we needed space to work things out, they didn’t want to put pressure on the situation.”
Chalk chuckled, winking at me. “I believe it. When we visit there and take Sarah, I will have to take him out for a beer. Your father is a good guy.”
My father’s hugs were like sunshine. I missed him immensely, but I knew Holbeck was the right place for me. “He is an extraordinary man, very loving and kind.”
Chalk confirmed with a head nod. “Yup. My parents ask about you too. Teresa – as you know – misses you.”
“I know, I plan to make up lost ground with her when I can. I owe her so much. The help she gave you in raising Sarah.” I had a lot of respect for Teresa. She was helping to raise a child that wasn’t hers and loving Sarah just the same. I’d heard Sarah mention her name often enough to know she had a big influence on her life.
“She’d love that. You girls will be gossiping about me, I’m sure.”
I giggled, keeping the tea I had inside my mouth, just barely. “That goes without saying. It’s what we do.”
The good mood I was in carried me into work the next day. When I got to the nurse’s station, I saw a large bouquet of flowers. “Wow, who got lucky today?” I exclaimed to Robyn on the nurse’s station desk.
“Honey, those are for you. Your fave patient, Lester. He lurved him some Lucinda. He said he would never forget how you helped him.” At 88, Lester was in a bad way from a fall in the kitchen. He came in all distressed and flustered before they sent him in for his hip operation.
“I don’t know if I’m going to make it. I might not. I’ve fallen and I hit my eye. Look.” His socket was bruised with purple and navy blue scars from hitting the sharp edge of his kitchen counter.
“You’re going to be fine. I will be right here when you get out of surgery, don’t you worry. We’re going to get you back up and into gear, I promise you.” I poured my heart into Lester’s recovery. It turned out Lester was tougher than he thought he was. He ended up being released after five weeks of recovery and intensive rehab.
The sweet smell of fresh lilies wafted through the corridors as I searched on my tiptoes for the card on the inside. I held my chest as I read it out to the other nurses, “It says ‘thank you for taking care of an old man. You’ll make a good wife. You made the hospital stay worthwhile.’” I fanned my face as I got sappy over it, and the girl ‘aww’ed with me. “I think I’m gonna cry. He was so sweet, he never complained either when I came to wake him up at 7 a.m. to go to physio. Poor guy.”
“Good for you. You should put those in some water, so they don’t wilt. I heard if you pour some lemonade mixed in with water, your flowers last longer,” Nurse Byers said as she walked off.
“Hmm. Lemonade, huh?” I headed to the staff room.
Chalk called.
I answered with a smile on my lips. “Hi, how are you?”
“I’m good. You sound happy.”
“I am, I just got flowers.”
“I have competition already?” Chalk chuckled over the phone.
“Hmm, if you consider it competition against an 88-year-old with a broken hip, then I guess you do.” I laughed right back.
“Whoa. Ha! Okay, I’m going to give him a pass. He can have you during the day, and I will have you in the evenings.”
“Funny man. What’s up?”
“Nothing. I just called to say good morning is all. Sarah says hi.”
“Hi Mom! I’m going to school,” Sarah yelled in the background.
My grin just got bigger and bigger. “Thank you, you’ve made my day even brighter.” My heart was full and the day was getting better by the minute. “Hey, I wanted to ask…do you think I can take Sarah for the weekend? I want to spend some Mommy-daughter time with her, and I think it might be a good idea to work her into a routine of coming over to my apartment. What do you think?”
“Umm, I think we should just take things one step at a time. Maybe for a few hours? I think we should play things by ear.” He sounded reluctant.
My excitement drooped. He still didn’t trust me completely. I knew it was valid, despite our declarations. I would have to build trust again, with him and my daughter. “Ah sure. I can understand that. Just one night then.” I knew I had a longer road to get back in their good graces.
“Any particular time you want her to come to you?” Chalk asked, breaking through my thoughts.
“Umm, after nine is good. Work for you?” I asked nervously as I played with my stethoscope.
“It does as long as I get to come in for a coffee,” he quipped in a flirty tone.
Not all hope was lost.
“I’ll have one waiting for you. I don’t wanna cut you off, I have my first patient on rounds and they have medicine they need to take on time. See you and Sarah on the weekend.”
“You will, bye and have a great day.”
“You too, Chalk.”
And so it goes…While I work at building my life again.
