Merciless Union by Faith Summers

24

Aria

Iwoke up a while ago long before Yuliana came in with a tray of breakfast which I haven’t touched yet.

It’s nearly lunchtime which means Dr. Belmont will be here again. I just don’t have the energy to get up properly.

I didn’t even get dressed when Yuliana came in; I just pulled the sheet over myself and laid down again when she left.

I’m tired, but I probably shouldn’t be because I’ve had enough sleep. What’s draining me is Lucca.

Last night was another night that took everything out of me, then as I found myself talking about the past, something inside snapped. It was brought on by the look he gave me when he came back from the bathroom with the towel.

He looked at me like he loved me. That look in his eyes only grew stronger as he looked at the reflection of us lying side by side in the mirror.

When you’re with a volatile man like him who is so impulsive, you have to take note of everything they do.

It’s what I’ve done since I’ve been with him and how I’ve managed to survive.

I observe, and that’s what I did last night. I probably saw too much because it was the first time that he’d dropped that iron-clad control over the guard to his soul that I was able to look inside and see.

It made me cast my thoughts back to what I must have felt like when he disappeared from my life.

What I don’t know is how I reacted when he came back three years ago, and I realized it was him. Was I so happy that he saved me from being a sex slave that the years before no longer mattered?

He didn’t say anything. Somehow, I want to know, and even though I said it was a good thing I didn’t remember, I do want to remember.

The reason why I keep feeling this part of me that yearns for him is because it’s there, and I can’t get rid of it.

It’s making me question everything.

I glance at the clock and see it’s eleven-thirty. I need to get up now if I’m going to be in time for Dr. Belmont. As bad as I feel, I don’t want to keep him waiting or cancel. Canceling would only harm me and slow my recovery.

I shower and change quickly into a summer dress.

I decide to keep my hair down, but as I don’t have time to blow-dry and style it, I open the drawer to get some of the leave-in conditioner Marylin got me on one of our shopping trips. It’s supposed to keep your hair from getting frizzy.

I pick it up, but when the little pillbox behind it falls forward, my eyes glue to it, and my mouth goes drier than the Sahara. Chills ripples down my limbs, and my brain becomes a scattered mess of chaos when realization truly dawns on me.

Those are my pills!

My… contraceptive pills.

The pills I haven’t taken since Jon kidnapped me. That was over twenty days ago.

Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

The bolt of panic that shakes me makes me drop the bottle of conditioner and push to my feet as I scan over the box like it’s an alien.

My God in heaven, no. I can’t have forgotten to take them.

But when would I have taken them or remembered?

Jesus Christ, I was kidnapped. And then I was with Dad and Pasha for fifteen days. Fifteen days of hell where I was told I was only going to be kept alive so Dad could get the company.

I’ve been here for a week. In that week, I should have remembered.

I can blame my fucking mistake on the bomb Lucca dropped on me about his plan to kill me and that fucking Damien, but I know from the moment I decided I was going to be having sex, I should have remembered to take the pill.

How the hell did I forget something so damn important?

Lucca and I had sex the second night we stayed in this house, and then there was last night.

Frantically, I grab the box of pills and look at the information sheet.

The first thing I see that sinks my heart deeper into the chasm of fear is that the damn pill is a progesterone-only one, which means if you miss one full day and have unprotected sex, chances are you’re pregnant.

My hands shake as I bring them to my lips.

I’m so panicked I reach for the phone to call Sienna but drop it straight away when I remember it’s not safe to talk to her.

I’m breathing so hard I can’t control myself.

My period is due in two weeks. If it doesn’t come, then I’ll know I’m pregnant. So, what do I do?

Wait for two weeks? Two full weeks with all the unstable shit already happening here.

I need a pregnancy test.

That is what I need, and I need one today. If I’m lucky, then maybe this is just a scare I can write off.

If I’m not, then what?

I have an exit plan I still want to stick to. How the hell am I supposed to do that when I could be carrying Lucca’s child?

My God, I could be pregnant.

Me.

As if things aren’t bad enough with me already.

Thinking on my feet, I mull over how I’m going to get a pregnancy test. I’d have to go to the drugstore, but I’m not allowed off the premises unless accompanied by the guards. I don’t exactly think I can just waltz into the store anyway with people looking for me.

But I need it.

When I pick up the phone now, it’s with desperation, and I call the one man who will be able to authorize someone to take me to the store.

Lucca answers on the first ring, and my heart squeezes.

If I am pregnant, how would he react?

He sent me to the gynecologist my first week here to get the pill. That tells me he didn’t want children. But then there was that day when he was talking about us having them, and he did it so effortlessly like he’d been thinking about it.

Things have changed between us a lot, though.

“Aria, are you okay?” he says like he was talking before. If he was, I couldn’t hear him past the drumming of my heart in my ears.

“Yes, I’m sorry. It must be the connection. I need to go to the drug store. Can one of the guards go with me?”

“I’m near there now. I can get you whatever you need.”

Oh God, that would be the worst thing ever. “No. It’s some personal stuff I need. I’d prefer to get it myself.”

“Aria, I can’t just let you go out for something trivial. I have to go, send me a list of what you need. Nothing is that personal that you can’t tell me. Send it, okay?”

I can’t ask him, so I have to find another way. “Okay.”

“Call me if you need me to come back soon. It’s going to be a late night.”

“Be careful.”

“Thanks.”

He hangs up, and I stare at the phone in my hand.

Waiting two weeks will drive me insane, and it’s not like I don’t know I won’t be sleeping with Lucca between now and then.

I can’t take those pills until I know if I’m pregnant or not.

Someone knocks on the door.

It’s Yuliana.

“Dr. Belmont is here, Mrs. Dyshekov,” she says.

“Thank you. I’ll be down in a second.”

I stand up and wobble like I’m going to fall over. By the time I reach Dr. Belmont in the living room, I feel like I’m going to be sick.

“Hi, Aria, are you okay? You look a little pale.”

“I’m just shaken,” I confess.

“Is there anything I can do?”

As the question falls from his lips, I think of who can help me. He’s a doctor, and everything I do with him is supposed to be confidential.

He won’t tell Lucca anything if I ask him not to. Not yet, anyway.

“Yes, yes, there is.”