Eliezer’s Ange by Eden Auclair

XIV

cassiopeia is twenty

she is a first-year masters in university

—five months later—

Cassiopeia wanted to scream, or cry, she wasn’t sure. She’d just gotten back from Madrid the night before and she’d never felt so detached from herself. She had turned Ansel down twice already so why did she think it was a brilliant idea to go this time? She knew Eliezer would press her with questions as to where she had been for the past four days. She spent them wishing she was him instead. Now, back in her loft, she was a mess and she was late, jet-lagged, and emotionally spent. And surely Eliezer would have her head.

Half an hour later, she stumbled into the office, out of sorts, muttering hellos and clutching her bag hanging on her shoulder with her books and laptop cradled in her arms against her chest. She rushed past Starlie’s desk, who stared at the girl with wide eyes and a dropped jaw as she took in the girl’s chaotic self. Passing Eliezer’s office, he was muttering incoherently into the phone, but almost immediately, his eyes snapped to hers and he stared at her with a fire in his eyes. She grew nervous and shot him a watery smile before running down the hall to her office. Eliezer was tempted and very close to chasing after her and hold her in his arms, but he knew better. He could lose his control and let his jealousy control him in front of her. And the last thing he wanted was to hurt her.

He sighed, tiredly running a hand down his face. His current business deal was a mess, his jealousy was burning alive inside of him. And Christhow he just wanted to hold her, the lovesick voice whined in his mind.

§

Cassiopeia couldn’t focus on the manuscript in her hand for the past hour and she was growing frustrated. With the manuscript, herself, Ansel, and everything in between. Her eyes were moving across the pages but her mind was on everything but and she had no idea where exactly her thoughts were. Eliezer hadn’t even come by and she was certain he was absolutely exasperated with her. It was merely because of that, melancholy mixed and blurred with her other whirlwind of emotions she currently felt. The soft murmur of Lewis Capaldi coming from her sleek rose gold cell pressed her to put down her manuscript and answer the call.

“Cassiopeia!” Slater exclaimed happily.

“Slater, hi.” She smiled bittersweetly.

“Cassiopeia?” He called sadly, immediately picking up on her disheartening tone. “What’s wrong?” She felt tears prick her eyes.

“Nothing,” she uttered under her breath. He scoffed over the phone.

“Cassiopeia,” he said in a tone where she could only see his glaring face “We’re not doing this, tell me what’s wrong.”

“Slater, it’s nothing,” she repeated, except this time, her voice had a slight shake to it.

“Cassiopeia,” he said a bit more harshly.

“You know,” she started quietly as if she were pondering out loud, “I hate crying. I hate it so much,” her voice quivered, “and that’s all I seem to be doing lately.” A tear fell down her face and she shook her head slightly, willing herself to stop.

“Cassiopeia, please talk to me,” he pleaded.

“I’m such a mess, Slater,” she finally broke down, “and I have no idea what I’m doing. My heart hurts and I feel it shattering over and over again and I don’t know why. I just want it to stop.” She covered her mouth to hide her cries.

“Everything lately, it’s so... it’s so unexplainable and I can’t think straight when my heart has fused together with my mind.”

“Start from the beginning, Cassiopeia, tell me everything.” Slater felt his heartache for his sister. It was both a blessing and a curse to feel everything so deeply, especially since she had a weak heart—not only metaphorically, but literally. She had been born with a heart too delicate, one of her heart’s chambers being too stiff and not allowing the blood to get where it needs to be. Too much stress or worrying could lead to her utter downfall and end.

“I don’t knowwhere to start, that’s the problem. I feel at such a loss, Slater, so detached from myself around Ansel. I’m struggling, and it is killing me.” She cried quietly, burying her face in her arms.

“Cassiopeia, he’s hurting you and you’re too blind to realize. You can’t hold onto this, him, he’s slowly breaking you down from the inside out.”

“I know that,” she said pointedly. “It’s over, we’re over, I know, but it’s just… it’s, I don’t know. Can we talk about something else for now?”

“You can’t avoid this forever.”

“I know.”

“The more you let it go on, the more it will hurt in the end.”

“I know. We’ve drifted, I can accept that. We’re worlds apart from each other and I don’t just mean literally. Every time I find myself there, I just wish I was with Eliezer instead. Ansel and I, we don’t… there is nothing for us to talk about anymore, Slater.”

“I see. One of you has to put an end to this because holding onto whatever this is, is setting you up for heartbreak that you don’t deserve.”

“I know, Slater.” She sighed tiredly; a foreboding emotion rolled around her stomach. “Can we please talk about something else now?”

“Sure. Tell me about Eliezer.” The sudden grin in his voice made her roll her eyes.

“I- uh, Eliezer...” She breathed his name and a smile stretched across her lips.

“I’m living vicariously through you right now, tell me everything,” he said in a high-pitched squeal, sending her into a fit of giggles for the first time today—the first time in a few days.

“Eliezer is wonderful.” She sighed happily, speaking quietly, for her door was slightly open and she was worried he’d hear her if he passed by.

“You’re so in love, Cass.” The smile in his voice made her blush.

“Slater…” She giggled.

“That nervous giggle just proved me right did it not?” The smugness in his voice was clear.

“So...” She not so subtly changed the topic. “We’ve nearly traveled to every country, and the world is just sobeautiful, Slater.”

“What?”

“What?”

“Greece?”

“Yes.”

“Bulgaria?”

“Yes.”

“Luxembourg?”

“Oh yes.”

“Indonesia?”

“Jakarta and Bali, both.”

“I hate you,” he groaned. “I’m so jealous,” he whined. Cassiopeia only laughed.

§

Eliezer felt his jealousy, possessiveness, and anger controlling him as he let out a string of expletives before he rudely ended the call and slammed his cell on his desk.

Cassiopeia, Cassiopeia, Cassiopeia. The name swirled in his head, haunting him and driving him insane. Since she left last week, his mind had been fixated merely on her and he got absolutely no work done. He had half the mind to call her at every moment to make sure she was okay. Jealousytaunted him in his mind, flaring when the thought crossed his mind of her being with another man. If only he really knew.

“No fucking way,” he sneered under his breath at the thought. And seeing her this morning, he realized he gave her a glimpse of the fire kindling inside his very soul just through his eyes. Hell, I really am miserable without her, he thought to himself, running a hand down his face.

He knew she was probably thinking the worst from the way he looked at her this morning, but he also knew he needed to calm down if he didn’t want her to see the beast slowly consuming him.

Cassiopeia, he began mentally preparing his apology to the girl he loved so dearly, I-

His thoughts were brought to an abrupt stop at the sound of glass shattering.

§

Ending the call, Cassiopeia felt the urge to slam something against the wall. She felt utterly frustrated. Without giving it much of a second thought, she picked up the glass. And threw it at the wall. The glass shattered and shards fell to the ground as she let out a whimper. Not even a second later did Eliezer rush into her office. He took in the sight of her, disheveled, tired, and broken.

Their eyes locked together and for Cassiopeia, that was the end of her. She broke down into sobs, feeling wholly and utterly lost and heart shattered and fell to her knees. Eliezer ran to her, dropping to his own knees and cradling her head in his lap.

“Cassiopeia? Talk to me, what’s wrong?” He asked, his voice cracking as he held her. His heart shattered seeing hisangeso broken.

In his arms, she fell apart, she felt herself let go. She was a sobbing wreck, her words just spilling out as a jumbled and stuttered mess as she told him she missed her family and Eliezer only listened as his fingers raked through her hair.

“Darling, go home for me,” he said softly once she calmed, looking at the girl he felt so much for through pained eyes. The past four days with her sudden disappearance was too much for Eliezer—he worried incessantly, he was streaked with jealousy. But he saw the pain and hurt in her eyes and he knew the only way to fix it was to send her home.

“What?”

“You heard me, ange,” he said softly, “take off for the week and go be with your family.”

“I know where your loft is, obviously.” He chuckled nervously. “If you’ll allow me, I’ll even stop by and water your little plants and succulents,” he said teasingly yet his striking blue irises held only sincerity.

“What about class?” She murmured softly, sitting up slightly and nuzzling her face in his chest. His arms were tightly wrapped around her small frame, keeping her in place. Her eyes fluttered closed and she reveled in the feeling of his fingers combing through her hair as they sat on the ground.

“Forget school, for one week, Cassiopeia,” he growled, “you work too hard and I’m more than sure you have assignments finished that aren’t even due until two weeks from now.” She giggled at her habit. Lifting her head slowly and cupping her jaw with both his palms softly, he placed a tender kiss on her forehead.

“Just take the week off, please,” Eliezer sighed tiredly, pleadingly.