Someone Exactly Like Me by Debbie Cromack

13

Nicco

We have one more day planned together next week. That’s not enough. I’ve never felt this way about a woman, not even Ana. I don’t know what I’m feeling right now, but it’s intense. I know I want to plunge deep into her, but it’s more than that, so much more. I don’t know how I can feel whatever I’m feeling right now, it’s only been a few days. I have to drown these feelings, but I can’t. She’s more addicting than my fucking cigarettes. She has to come with me next weekend. After next week, whatever is happening between us ends. I don’t want to hurt her. Shit, I don’t want to get hurt.

My thoughts are all over the place.

Back in my hotel room, I go out to the balcony and have a cigarette. I can’t stop thinking about her and the day we just spent together. Her tiny, sexy body, the way she felt in my arms in the ocean, the smell of coconut on her skin when I kissed her cheeks. I’ve seen many female bodies and fucked my share of hot women, but when Destiny took off the dress covering her bikini, it took everything in me to keep from getting hard on the spot. Her skin is unspoiled perfection, I’m dying to touch her. Perky breasts, small waist, tight ass. This is torture.

I finish my cigarette and get in the shower to wash off the salt water. Closing my eyes, I hang my head, letting the water run down my body. Destiny comes to me in my thoughts. Remembering her diamond-hard nipples, visible through her wet bikini top, I’m immediately hard. Fuck, I think I’ve been hard since I first laid eyes on her. I’ve got to do something to relieve the pressure. Lathering up my hands, I close my eyes, wrapping one hand around my myself, wishing my hand was her mouth.

We’re not at the beach, we’re at her house. She takes my hand and leads me to the sofa. Guiding me to sit on the edge, she kneels between my knees. Hair up in her ponytail with pieces falling loosely around her face, she looks up at me with her big, blue eyes and takes me in her hand, stroking me. After a few long strokes, she leans forward and covers my head with her pretty mouth, swirling her tongue around it.

At the end of a rotation around my head, she bends lower, dragging her tongue from my base to the V just below my head, flicking at it. I groan, grabbing the back of her head instinctively as she flicks her tongue at the sensitive skin. One more quick swirl of her tongue around my head and she takes me into her mouth, all of me, sucking me.

Her hand and mouth work me in unison, slowly at first, then faster. I wrap her ponytail around my hand, resting it on her head as she bobs up and down on me, faster and faster. The pressure intensifies as my blood rages through my veins. The heat inside her mouth, her lips gripping me, pumping up and down is too much. I explode, heaving a loud groan. Finally, relief.

Fuck, I have to have her.

Later, as I lie in bed, I remember her description of twilight. She comes to me in my thoughts again. She’s in her leggings and big sweatshirt, looking adorable. I turn on my side and grab a pillow, wrapping it in my arms, wishing it was her, snuggled into me. For the first time in my life, I’m aware of the few blissful seconds between being awake and being asleep, imagining Destiny tucked into me.

Destiny

Candi picks me up at the airport and we head straight to dinner. She tells me all about her photo shoot, both how much fun it was and how exhausted she is.

“How was the flight?” she asks. “Were you okay?”

“I was. I didn’t need my emergency medicine so that was good.” I gasp. With all the activity of getting my luggage and finding Candi, I forgot to text Nicco.

“What is it?”

“I forgot to text Nicco,” I say, getting my phone out of my purse.

“Text Nicco?”

“Yeah, he wanted me to let him know I landed safely and I forgot.”

Me:Hi. I landed safely. The flight went well. I’m with Candi now.

Nicco:Okay. Good. Thanks for letting me know. Have a good time. Tell Candi hi for me.

Me:I will. Have a nice weekend.

“He wanted you to text him when you landed, huh?” She gives me her side-eye as she drives.

“Yes. It’s nothing. I told you I had the panic attack on the Ferris wheel. I told him about the first one I had happening on an airplane so he was just concerned knowing I was flying today. Oh, he says hi.”

“So, how’s that been going, by the way?”

I slump forward and drop my head. “Fuck.”

She snaps her head toward me and I raise my chin from my chest. I fill her in on our day at the beach, his shifting behavior, and my confused feelings.

“Okay, that’s a lot to take in. I do not profess to understand much about men and how their brains work, but that whole hot-cold thing makes me think he’s feeling something, but he’s trying to deny it.”

“Well, I don’t know about that, but there’s something there with him and relationships and women, and I can’t figure it out. When I was asking him my interview questions, he wouldn’t answer my question about what scares him about being in a relationship. He didn’t even go all playboy on me. He just said he didn’t want to answer it and was deadly serious. But there was, something.” I shake my head. “Something behind his eyes, something that felt, painful somehow.”

“Des, you’re pretty intuitive about things like that. There’s probably something he’s scared to share, scared to face. Guys don’t talk about that stuff.”

“I know. And I know I shouldn’t care because nothing can happen anyway. He leaves next week and I shouldn’t even be thinking about feeling any sort of anything for him.”

“Do you?” She glances over at me. “Feel something for him?”

“I don’t know. I don’t know if there’s anything to feel. He’s hard to read, you know? He’s this hot Italian guy who’s just shot to fame because of an erotic movie he starred in and sometimes I feel like I’m misinterpreting that sensuality. Is it because I saw him in the film? Is it because I’m extremely attracted to him? I mean who wouldn’t be? Is it because I’m getting to know the man behind what the world sees? A man who has a depth to him I’ve never seen in a man. I have no idea.”

“What’s the energy you get from him?”

“Here’s the thing, that’s confusing too. I know he’s a passionate man by nature, but when he’s close to me, I swear there’s fire between us. And, I know this is going to sound crazy, but it’s more than just the fact that I’ve been fantasizing about him and his hotness. Can, I feel something,” I say, putting my hand on my heart. “I don’t know if it’s just part of his innate heritage or what, but he has this lure about him. He gets so close to me, Can, inches from my face and lingers. I don’t know if that’s just how he is with women or what? I know, it doesn’t make any sense at all.”

“Okay. Take a deep breath and let it out.”

Together, we take a deep breath in and blow it out.

“I’ve known you your entire life. So first.” She looks over at me with her head cocked to the side and her lips pursed together. “Honey, I’ve never heard you talk like this about a guy, not even Shithead-Kevin before he was Shithead-Kevin. And, second, it’s okay to have these kinds of feelings, even if they feel really confusing and uncertain right now. I haven’t known Nicco all that long, but from the interactions we’ve had and the time we’ve spent together, when you take away all the sexy-sexy, he really seems like a good guy. And, by the way, there’s never been any lingering when he kisses my cheeks. All that being said, I don’t know what there could possibly be between you two, but I think it’s worth being open to the possibility of what could be. Your soul mate is out there, looking for you. I don’t know if it’s Nicco. But you know I believe in miracles and I know dreams can come true.”

“I like him, Can. I like him a lot. So much so it scares me.”

“Honey, I know it’s scary to open your heart to someone, especially after what happened with Kevin.”

I shoot her a side glare. “And Paul.”

“Virga?” Her pitch raises an octave.

“Yes,” I say sternly.

“Well, Paul Virga. I mean, come on. He did ask Abby before he asked you. He had no way of knowing her mom was gonna change her mind and let her go to prom with him.”

“I still can’t believe I helped him wash his car before he went to pick her up. Even his mom was mad at him for that one. And then I had to stand there watching them dance in the dry ice smoke while everyone formed a circle around them like it was a scene in a movie. Ugh.” I shake my head. “Okay, Justin Scoggins.”

“You’ve got to be kidding me,” she scoffs and laughs. “That was elementary school.” She bends forward, bellowing in laughter.

“Well, he kissed me and the very next day he kissed Suzie what’s-her-face.”

We both burst into a laughing fit.

Once we’ve composed ourselves, the memory of Kevin pinches my heart. “Seriously though, am I ever going to be enough for anyone?”

A pout sits on her lips. “Des, of course you are. You’re a total catch.”

“I don’t know. I seem to be stuck in a pattern of guys picking someone else over me. And with Niccolo Mancini having his pick of the litter, there’s no way he’d ever pick me.” I shake my head. “I’m so afraid of getting hurt.”

“I know. And that’s the risk. That’s the chance you take. But I think it’s a chance worth taking. Please, just open your heart and let God lead the way.”

After dinner, we go back to her hotel, order room service for desserts, and watch movies until we fall asleep.

Candi and I spend Saturday being tourists, shopping, eating, hiking, and taking in the beauty of the island.

Sunday is a beach day. I read my book under our umbrella and Candi works on making her already-tanned skin more golden.

My phone chimes.

Nicco:Hi. How is your trip going? Having fun?

I wasn’t expecting to hear from him. My heart pumps a little faster.

Me:Hi! It’s great! We did touristy things yesterday and we’re on the beach right now.

Nicco:Don’t get sunburned. The sun is very strong there.

Me:I’m under my umbrella. ☺ What are you keeping busy doing?

Nicco:Right now, I’m reading your book.

I gasp.

Candi rolls to her side and pushes her sunglasses on top of her head, peering at me. “Who is it?”

“It’s Nicco, he’s reading Sunflowers for Sarah.” The words spill out of my mouth as adrenaline spurts through me at the thought of him reading my words.

Me:I hope you enjoy it.

Nicco:I am so far. I picked up a few of them. ;)

I lurch forward in my chair, gasping again. My hand flies to my chest as I stare at the screen.

“What? What’s happening?” Candi’s now sitting on the edge of her lounger.

“Apparently he got several of my books.”

“Hmmm. He wants to learn about you.”

I whip my head toward her. “I don’t want him reading too many of my books.”

“Why?”

“Because, they’re like, glimpses into my soul. You know that.” My stomach twists.

“That might be a good thing.”

“No. That’s not a good thing. I don’t care about strangers reading my books, but I don’t want him knowing that much about what goes on in my head. What if he got one of the more sensual ones? I don’t want him reading my intimate thoughts. What do I say back?”

“Take notes, baby.” She laughs playfully.

I erupt into laughter. “You’re no help.”

“Hey, here’s what I’m getting, he’s thinking about you. He’s reading your books. He’s texting you. You’re on his mind.”

“I think he’s probably just bored.”

My phone chimes.

Nicco:I miss hanging out with you.

My mouth drops open slightly as I stare at the screen.

“What? What’d he say?”

I look at her. “He said he misses hanging out with me.”

She squeals, leaning back in her lounge chair, lifting her knees in the air, and tapping her toes alternately in the sand. “Just sayin’.” She winks at me then takes her sunglasses off her head, puts them back on her face, and lays down again.

Thankfully the flight home is uneventful. I’m so glad I went on the trip. It’s been a while since Candi and I got to hang out together, just the two of us.

Hmm, just the two of us. Tomorrow will be just the two of us. Me and Nicco spending our last day together.

Why did you have to come steaming into my life, Niccolo Mancini, only to walk right back out?