Someone Exactly Like Me by Debbie Cromack
15
Nicco
The drive along Pacific Coast Highway is magnificent. Though I don’t want to leave early, I’m glad to have these last two days with Destiny.
We check in and go to our suite. The instant we step into it, we both marvel at the luxury surrounding us. Each room we walk into is more lavish than the last.
“This place is bigger than my entire house.” Her excitement is that of a child, making me smile. I’m so happy she came with me.
We both have king-size beds and fireplaces in our rooms, at opposite ends of the suite. Mine even has a sofa in it. The kitchen and living area separate our bedrooms. With all the windows and glass doors, it feels like we’re outside. And the view is spectacular. We go out to the balcony and the ocean spreads for miles below us. The hot tub is deeper than any I’ve ever seen. There’s even a cozy spot for her to sit and write if she wants.
“Are you hungry?” I ask.
“So hungry.”
“Okay. Let’s unpack our things and meet back in the living room. We’ll get a bite to eat and then we can go exploring for a few hours until we’re ready for dinner.”
“Perfect.”
We spend the day enjoying the outdoors and head back to our suite when we’re both hungry again. Being sweaty from our hiking and adventures, we get showers. I’m ready before her and stand on the balcony, smoking a cigarette, soaking in the view.
From behind me, I hear the clicking of heels and turn around. She’s fucking breathtaking. I have to consciously not let my jaw drop open. For a few seconds, I’m speechless, scanning her from head to toe. Her classy black dress hugs her slender frame, accentuating her delicate curves. At the base of her long neck rests a string of diamonds that wraps fully around her neck.
I approach her and stop in front of her. “You’re beautiful.”
“Thank you,” she says quietly, glancing down toward her feet, then back up at me. “You look very handsome.”
“Thank you.” I’ve gone with my signature black suit, black vest, and white shirt. I’m usually told I’m hot. I like the sound of handsome, especially the way she says it.
At the restaurant, we’re seated at a table with another impressive view of the ocean. I order a bottle of Prosecco and we look through the menu. When the waiter comes back with our wine, we place our orders.
I outline the profile of her face as she looks over the water. “Destiny.”
She returns her gaze to me.
“You’re good with words. I’m not as much, especially with English.” I smile. “I don’t know the right words, strong enough words, to thank you. Thank you for everything you’ve done for me. Two weeks ago, I didn’t know you and now, you’ve helped me on the path of making my dreams come true. And you’ve given me so much of your time to show me around. Thank you can’t even begin to express how grateful I am for you.”
The way she smiles at me makes the hairs on the back of my neck stand up. “You’re so welcome, Nicco. I’m happy I could help you.”
I lift my glass toward her, “Sarai sempre nel mio cuore, mia dolce ragazza.”
“I don’t know what that means.”
“It’s okay, I do.” I nod.
Without pressing me for a translation, she raises her glass toward me. “Cheers.” We clink our glasses together. “I hope you get everything you desire.”
Together we sip our wine and take in the view.
As soon as I speak, her gaze returns to me. “The other day at the beach, you asked me what scares me about being in a relationship and I didn’t want to answer your question.” Still not wanting to answer it, I feel like she deserves an answer. An answer she may not want to hear, but an answer that may help her understand. “I’ll answer it for you, but I don’t want it in the book.”
Intently focused on me, she agrees. “Of course.” She shakes her head.
“What scares me is that I know I’ll never be a good husband or a good dad. So, I don’t bother getting involved in relationships and wasting anyone’s time. It’s not fair to the other person to invest their time, their effort, their heart in something that has no chance of becoming anything.”
Sorrow coats her beautiful eyes as they roam my face. “Why would you say that?”
“Why, isn’t important. It doesn’t matter. It’s what’s true and it’s something I thought you should know.” I look out the window and she doesn’t push me for more.
Dinner is delicious. She shares stories about her and Candi growing up together and the adventures they used to have. I tell her about the trouble me and Marco used to get into, and still do sometimes. I don’t usually have these types of conversations with women and I’m thoroughly enjoying getting to know her. I can’t get enough of her.
After dinner we go back to the suite. The sun is beginning its descent into the ocean.
“What do you say we get changed and meet at the hot tub?” I’m thirsting to see her in a bikini again. I’d rather see her naked, but I’ll take what I can get.
“Sounds good.”
Destiny
Candi texted while we were at dinner. I give her a quick call.
“Hey, did I text at a bad time?”
“Hi. No. We were at dinner. We’re about to go in the hot tub.”
“Hot tub? How romantic.”
“Ugh, I know. And I’m enjoying myself more than I should.” I slump my shoulders.
“Des, why do you punish yourself?”
“Because —”
“Because what?” I can see her now, shaking her hands in frustration at me.
“Because. Because he leaves Friday. He leaves and that’s it. Even if we stay friends, we won’t see each other like we have these last few weeks. And, he’s — he’s on his way to stardom. And I’m —” I sigh. “I’m me and I’m here.”
“You can’t predict the future, Des, so, please, stop trying to and just be open. Be open to whatever, to possibility, to a chance at who knows what. You keep closing yourself off with him and shutting down, not even giving things a fair chance.”
“That’s just it. In slightly different words, he flat out told me he doesn’t get into relationships, period. Tonight, he answered the one question he didn’t answer on the beach. Basically, he said he’s not good enough so he doesn’t even bother. Someone really hurt him. I swear I felt my heart sting when he said it.”
“Okay, let that go for a minute, that’s guy-crap. Strip away all this bullshit about what you think and what you shouldn’t be thinking or feeling. Just,” she blows an exhale. “tell me what you feel.”
“I — I don’t know. I mean, I’m going to miss him when he leaves. Spending all this time together, he’s not at all what I thought he’d be like. He’s charming and funny and playful. He’s kind and protective. He’s very diligent about his work, whether he’s getting into the mind of his characters or writing lyrics for his songs, he commits, goes all in.” I blow a huff of air. “He’s open-minded, humble, affectionate. And I’ve never seen a man communicate the way he does, it’s refreshing and, unexpected.” I pause. “Can, my body fucking melts with how passionate he is. Arm’s length away from him, I can remain feisty and fierce, but when he invades my personal space, I lose all control of myself. I can’t think straight. I feel like I’ve downed ten shots of whiskey. Speaking of which, I’m supposed to be half naked in a hot tub with him right now.” I pause. “I should probably go.”
“Okay.” She sighs. “Let go of the shoulds and the shouldn’ts and just be. Be in the moment and let yourself feel what you feel. Stop judging and condemning it.”
“I’ll try. I love you.”
“Love you. Bye.”
I change into my bikini, twist my hair up into a clip, and go out to the hot tub. Nicco isn’t there yet. I thought he would be since I took a while talking with Candi. He’s probably having a cigarette. He went our entire dinner without one.
I turn on the hot tub, tap my Yoga Music playlist on my phone, and step into the hot, bubbling water. It’s pretty deep. The scenery is truly heavenly. I cross my arms on the wall overlooking the ocean, my toes barely touching the bottom. Closing my eyes, I rest my head on my folded hands. Candi’s words are in my head, be in the moment. I focus on my breathing, inhaling, exhaling, inhaling, exhaling. Be in the moment.
He’s behind me, barely touching his chest to my back. My breathing quickens. He must be squatting down because his mouth is at my ear.
“I can’t get over how beautiful it is here.”
Opening my eyes, I see his arms, spread wide, on either side of me. “It really is.” I turn my face up toward him. “Thank you for bringing me here. I don’t come to places like this. It’s quite a treat.”
“You’re welcome. Thank you for coming with me. Do you want more wine? I had some sent up.”
“Oh no. I had two glasses at dinner.” That’s just what I need, to be tipsy in a hot tub, half naked with this scorching-hot man I’m falling for and shouldn’t be.
“You’re not driving.”
Candi’s voice pops into my head, be in the moment. “True. Okay, I’ll have a glass.”
He pours us each a glass at the side of the hot tub. Not speaking, we hang on the wall, side by side, sipping wine, watching the waves crash below us and the sun sink into the ocean. Half an hour must’ve passed as we were mesmerized. The bubbles stopped a little while ago.
“Your music ended. Do you want it back on?”
“Yes, please.”
He goes over to my phone.
“Just hit the button and it should play.”
The music starts again. It’s not my Yoga Music playlist. It’s my Sensual Massage playlist.
“I was curious what you have on this one. Do you mind?” he asks, getting back to his spot on the wall. Oh boy.
“No. It’s fine.”
“Do you listen to this while you write your sex scenes?”
The man is trying to kill me. “Sometimes.”
He dunks under the water, staying down for a few seconds. When he rises, he tucks himself in behind me, spreading his arms on either side of me again. He’s close, closer than before, pressing against me.
“This is nice,” he says, putting his hands on my waist, turning me to face him.
With the depth of the hot tub, I move my arms to rest on the wall again so I can hold myself up. As I adjust my body, I accidentally graze the length of his hardness with my pelvis. I inhale, strangling a moan.
“Sorry about that.” He spreads his legs, submerging his torso into the water, bringing his face level with mine. Those chocolate-brown eyes of his are hypnotic.
“It’s okay, I know any female body will do that to you. I know it has nothing to do with me.” I deadpan, wishing it was me who elicited his body’s reaction. But I know better.
“No.” He heaves a breath as his nostrils flare. “Not every woman has this effect on me.” I can’t decipher if hurt or anger sits behind his dark eyes as they bore into me. He takes a deep inhale and releases it slowly. “So, I have an idea.”
“Yeah? What kind of idea.”
“A way for us to help each other.”
“Another deal?”
“No.”
“Help each other how?”
“You can teach me about the tenderness and sensuality of sex.” Rising above me, he tilts gently into me, pressing himself against me, causing me to gasp. “And I can teach you about the passion and heat.” He pauses, staring into my eyes. “For your research.”
My entire body ignites at the thought as an intense tingle zips between my legs. What is he even saying right now? If this was thirteen days ago, I’d say he’s pulling a playboy trick to get me to sleep with him. But, after everything that’s happened over the last week and a half, the intimate things we’ve shared with each other, and the earnestness brushed across his face, I think this is anything but a sleazy playboy maneuver.
He lowers his voice. “Will you? Teach me to be tender? Teach me how to make love, not just fuck? The way you write about it.”
“Nicco, there’s something you need to understand.”
His gaze searches my face, patiently waiting for my next words.
“You don’t love with your dick. You love with your heart.” I pause. “When you first love with your heart, you don’t have to figure out how to love with your body, it just happens.”
“What if,” he takes a long pause as he stares deep into my eyes, “my heart is empty?”
The ache in my soul consumes my body. The tiniest bit of moisture glosses his eyes. He blinks it away.
I shake my head gently, shifting my gaze between his eyes. Wrapping one arm around his neck, I place my other hand on his heart. “Your heart isn’t empty. You just need someone to help you open it.”
He wraps his arms around me, I curl myself around his body. Never having experienced such a deep and profound moment with a man, I’m shaken to my core.
I’m falling.
Releasing each other, we breathe in the same air that hangs between our mouths.
“We should probably get some sleep,” I say quietly.
“Okay.”
We get out of the hot tub and towel off. I wrap my towel around my body and unclip my hair as we enter the suite. Neither of us had thought to turn on any lights before we went outside. He walks me to the door of my bedroom, adjacent to the living area where the fireplace is lit, casting a glow over the room.
Before going into my room, I turn to face him. “Good night.”
“Buona notte.”
His hands pass my jaw as he snakes his fingers through my hair, imprisoning my head in his grasp. This time, as he moves his lips from my left cheek to my right, he stops, nose to nose, staring into my eyes, exhaling into my parted lips. Unable to stop myself, I heave a breath into his mouth. My heart thrashes around my rib cage.
Kiss me.