SEAL Daddy by Sofia T Summers
Nicole - Two Years Later
March thawed into a mild spring, leading up to a favorable spring for Easter Sunday. I didn’t consider myself a particularly religious person, but my mother had always loved Easter. She enjoyed the abundance of flowers and the promise of hope.
I still remembered all the elaborate egg hunts she would orchestrate for me and my cousins. We were all grown up now, but I could still enjoy Easter lunch with my father.
“How’s the honey-baked ham looking?” He called from across the patio.
Stepping out onto the covered patio, I wiped my hands on the cheerful floral apron he’d picked out for me years ago, back when I got into baking as one of my hobbies. My parents had smiled their way through my first terrible attempts at sconces and baguettes, but I quickly caught onto the science of it all. I’d been pretty handy in the kitchen ever since, and most holiday meals fell under my jurisdiction.
“Good,” I answered. “It should be done in a few minutes. How’s little Lottie looking?”
“Cute as ever,” my dad remarked with his dimpled grin.
Sprawled across her play mat, my father was up to one of his old jokes. The little girl, just seventeen months old, watched him with eager brown eyes. Dad made the sound of an old phone ringing before holding up her foot to his ear.
With all the theatrics of a bad actor, Dad called out, “Hello?”
A squeal of laughter pealed from Charlotte’s grin. The foot-phone trick was one of her favorite jokes. In her pink smock dress and fuzzy white cardigan, she was a happy little vision of springtime hope. There was nothing in the world I loved more than her smile and bubbling giggles. From the moment I held her in my arms, nothing in the world ever felt as precious as her.
Dad had been wary when I told him about my pregnancy. It only got worse when I claimed I didn’t know who the father was, but he eventually came around. Holding Charlotte in the hospital, it was the first time I’d ever seen my father cry tears of joy.
It was one of the few times in my life I’d ever seen him cry, period.
I sat on the nearby sofa as I watched him play with his granddaughter. Since Charlotte was easily amused, my dad turned into a real comedian when they were together. He laughed along as Charlotte sat up to play with her avocado rattle and admired the other farmed-themed toys scattered around her.
“By the way,” my dad remarked. “I was wondering if you two were free to come back here next Saturday.”
“Why?”
“Because the weather’s going to be nice enough that I can host a cookout for Jason,” he replied, his blue eyes still on Charlotte. “He’s due back home in a couple of days, and his birthday was just last week. He deserves a party.”
“Jason?” I repeated like a moron. “Jason… Miller?”
Scratching his Roman nose, Dad chuckled, “Yeah, who else?”
My pulse raced as I forced my smile to stay in place. Fussing with my fishtail braid, I hadn’t seen him since we’d fallen asleep by the dwindling firelight. I was only dozing when I realized Jason was asleep, and some part of me said I should run away while I could. I didn’t know how I was supposed to say goodbye. It wasn’t like I could kiss him on the front step and promise to call him the next day.
I’d felt hollow, and Jason was the only person making me feel… lighter. There had been so many people who wanted to comfort me for their own self-gratification. They offered their apologies, ate some food, and felt good about themselves. I knew they meant well, but it only made me want to hide. I longed to wrap myself around Jason’s broad chest and hide forever.
“Nicole?”
Snapping to attention, I realized I’d been sitting there without giving Dad an answer. I ran my hands over my marigold-yellow dress, while I attempted to think of anything worthwhile to say. Just then, the oven timer went off.
“Oh, there’s the ham!” I chimed in a too-chipper voice. “Let me go get everything ready for lunch.”
I jumped up, quickly making my way back into the apple-green kitchen. The big room hadn’t changed in the last seventeen years. The walls were still the same tart shade they’d always been, and the cabinets were the same dark wood that adorned the living room fireplace, the stair railings, and trimmed all the walls of the house. A dining table big enough for four was tucked in a bay window.
It wasn’t exactly in fashion, but my father liked it. He picked out the paint with my mother the same day their offer on the place was accepted. He’d hung my Christmas stocking on the living room mantle every holiday season since I was eight years old, and now Charlotte’s hung beside it.
That December after my mom died, I was still supposed to have two more weeks in my pregnancy, but there had been complications. Charlotte was already two months old. She was seven pounds with a tuft of my blonde hair and his golden-brown eyes, but Jason himself wasn’t there.
Dad told me he had gone to visit his extended family in California, and he’d been flying out for another mission from there. From that day onward, I decided it was safer to keep my secrets. Charlotte and I could get along just fine like two peas in our own little pod. I worked hard to create this life, and I worried it might be ruined if Jason ever saw her.
Since she was two months early, Jason might presume another man was Charlotte’s father. I’d told everybody else it was some guy I met at a party in February. Maybe Jason would buy that lie too. Maybe he’d forgotten I told him our night together was my first time, or he'd assume I was lying then. I’d happily agree to that lie as long as Charlotte’s life remained intact.
Pulling out the silverware, I set the kitchen table and fixed up Charlotte’s highchair. It didn’t take long for Dad to follow me inside. I refused to meet his gaze as I continued pulling out side dishes and the main course. He set Charlotte into her chair as he called out to me.
“You didn’t give me an answer, Nicole.”
“About what?” I asked with feigned ignorance, focusing on the hot pans in the oven.
“About the party,” Dad furthered. “Can you come?”
“Oh, no,” I lied quickly. “I’m sorry, but I already made plans with Jessica that evening.”
I’d need to call my best friend to make those plans real. Even if I was lying now, it would all be true soon enough.
“That’s a shame,” he sighed. “I wanted to show off our little Lottie.”
“Can I make you some dessert to serve instead?” I offered from across the kitchen. “Jason likes chocolate cake, right? I could make you one for the party, and you could hand it out with my apologies for not being able to come.”
Obviously disappointed, Dad ran a hand through his wheat-blonde hair and relented, “Fine, I’ll take your cake.”
“How many people are you planning for?”
“About twenty,” he replied, coming over to get out glasses for the both of us. “I’d have space for Jessica if she just wanted to come over here. I’m sure she’d enjoy herself.”
“Yes, but I’m looking forward to our sister date,” I pressed, starting to sound a little too defensive.
“You and Jessica haven’t been in that sorority for years.”
I huffed, “We’re alumnae members, and it’s tradition! Jessica was a wonderful Big then and she’s my best friend now. I don’t want to have to share her with your friends.”
Dad quickly held his hands up in surrender. “Alright, honey. I get it. There will be other times, I’m sure.”
“Sure,” I echoed, knowing there wouldn’t be a chance in hell if I could help it.
The rest of our Easter went fairly well from there. Charlotte tried devilled eggs for the first time, and she appeared to enjoy them. She tuckered herself out with the new toys the Easter Bunny brought. By the time we made the thirty-minute drive home, my daughter was passed out in her car seat. It was no trouble carrying her into the little townhouse and putting her down for a nap.
My worries returned when I called up Jessica, praying that my semi-annual visit to church had me in good favor with the watching angels. I desperately needed my friend to be both available and agreeable.
“Happy Easter, Nicole,” she greeted me from the other end. “Hey, watch it!”
I laughed as she yelled at one of her younger cousins. Jessica had gone to her Abuela’s for the holiday weekend, and I could easily bet that house was packed to the brim with every last member of her grandmother’s extensive brood. I could hear some teenage boys shouting as I began to put my leftovers away in the kitchen.
When she finally got to a quiet corner of the house, I asked, “I need you to have dinner with me next Saturday night. I know we’re going out to the beach Sunday, but I desperately need to be busy on Saturday too.”
“Okay,” Jessica agreed slowly. “Can I ask why?”
“It’s… complicated,” I sighed. “Please just let’s have a long leisurely dinner that will keep me busy for hours on end.”
“You’re lucky I love you.”
“And I love you too!” I chimed back, relieved that she agreed. “I love you so much that I’ll take us out to our favorite place in Norfolk, my treat.”
Jessica laughed, “Blatant bribery, I like it.”
We laughed together until another gaggle of children caused more commotion on my friend’s end of the line. Jessica’s laughter quickly dissolved into a groan.
“I wish we could talk more,” she sighed. “But I gotta go.”
“No worries,” I assured her. “I’ll text you about the plans this week.”
“Sounds good,” she agreed.
Saying our goodbyes, I was left to the quiet of my kitchen. Sunlight streamed in from the back patio through the sink window. It cast a bright light on the dirty dishes I’d been avoiding, but I needed the mindless task now.
I couldn’t escape my last memory of Jason Miller. With his dark hair combed away from his chiseled face, he’d looked so debonair in the firelight, while still wearing his suit shirt and slacks. He’d been so kind to me over those two weeks. He let me babble away in the car about mundane topics like school and my despair that print media was dying.
He wasn’t some perfect Prince Charming, but he spoke like a gentleman. The scars on his chest felt like the fresh wounds under my skin, and for a moment I thought that maybe….
It didn’t matter what I thought that night. I was half-drunk and desperate for some feeling other than pity. Those emotions had to be my rearview mirror. For Charlotte’s sake, I needed to look forward, offering my daughter the life she deserved.
Jason Miller couldn’t come back and start messing it all up. I wouldn’t let him.
