Fail to Love by Maci Dillon

 

A Dream Come True

 

“A dream you dream alone is only a dream. A dream you dream together is reality.” ~ Yoko Ono

 

 

RAVEN

 

A week later, I unlocked the door to my apartment and was met with a delicious aroma of spices that had my belly rumbling.

Food.

I hadn’t eaten a thing all day and until now, hadn’t even thought about it.

My muscles were so fatigued, and I thought I might collapse as I called out to Miah. With Kassidy overseas, the wing squadron was too quiet.

When I reached the living area, I dumped my things behind the sofa, wide-eyed and dumbfounded by the new setup in my living room. The fire was burning bright, and a small table, just big enough for two, was set up in the middle of the room. A bottle of wine and a white and red rose was placed in the center.

As if in a trance, I came to when the lights dimmed and light piano music filtered from the speakers. “What’s this?” My body felt crippled, my head spun, but my heart calmed at the warmth suddenly surrounding it.

As if on cue, Sean emerged quietly from behind me. He walked straight on by, naked from the waist up except for the sexiest black bowtie a woman had ever seen. Or maybe it was the tanned muscle that came with it. I wasn’t the crying type, though tears welled in my eyes. A mixture of gratitude, surprise, and exhaustion making me more emotional than normal. Sean poured wine smoothly into each of our glasses and lit the candles in the center of the table.

“Sean?” My voice broke, unable to contain my emotions in my exhausted state.

“Welcome home, beautiful.” He walked over to me and kissed my cheek softly. “I hear congratulations are in order.” He grinned excessively, and I mirrored it.

“What? How did you know?” I asked, turning to him.

Today, I received the call from the financial lenders I had been hoping for. My loan was one hundred percent approved, and tomorrow I’d be signing my life away in order to embark on my dream—my own childcare center. The next few months were going to be crazy with building plans, designers, and probably a hundred other things I was trusting my business advisor would bring to my attention as required.

“I may have called the center and spoke with Bernadette,” he answered sheepishly.

I confided in Bernadette once I initially spoke to the bank. My dream had never been a secret, even my boss, Sandy, was rooting for my success.

“You did?” I pulled him into me and locked my tired arms behind his neck. He cradled me against him, taking all my weight as I kicked off my pumps and winced at the pain in my arches.

“I hope you don’t mind. I wanted to do something special for you tonight, and I wasn’t sure when you’d be home.” I couldn’t wait to get home to give him the news tonight, but this was a much better reception. My stomach grumbled in agreement.

“You wanted to surprise me even after I skipped out on you before breakfast this morning?”

He chuckled in my ear as his strong hands caressed my back, massaging away the aches and pains of a busy but productive day. We held a Parents’ Day at Pebbles today, and the place was swarming. We had the kiddie pools set up, a jumping castle, and the older kids prepared their favorite finger foods to share with their moms and dads. It was a huge success, but the center was left in need of a deep clean when I closed up tonight.

“Yes. I knew you had a crazy day scheduled today, and you were stressing about the call from the bank. So, I thought it best if we stayed in. Bernadette called me back this afternoon, as per my request, to advise the outcome. That way, I knew whether you’d want food and wine to celebrate or wine and chocolate to commiserate.”

I laughed with as much energy as I could muster. “You really are amazing, you know that, Dr. Mathers?” I pulled back to look him in the eye as I came close to telling him exactly how I felt.

“I do my best but only for you.” He crushed his lips to mine and held me steady as he satisfied me completely with a kiss from heaven. Our tongues dueled, moving together like a melody.

“I have a tub full of bubbles ready and waiting for you. Why don’t you head into your room, and I’ll check on dinner and bring your wine in for you in a moment?”

“Oooh, bubbles,” I gushed, my body melting at the thought.

In my room, I undressed and stepped into the bath. Fully submerged from the neck down, I felt instant relief. The stress of the day started to fade away.

“OMG, Sean,” my eyes widened as I lurched forward, soap suds spilling over the tub. “Where are Kassidy and Miah? I haven’t even called to let Chloe or Will know. I was so focused on getting home and telling you before I mentioned it to anyone else. That’s why you and Bernadette were the only ones to know I was expecting the big D today.” The excitement of the day, paired with mental and physical exhaustion, bubbled over, my words flying from my mouth at warp speed.

Sean stood, his arms folded with a deliriously handsome grin on his face.

“Babe, slow down. The girls are staying at Chloe’s tonight, their suggestion when I told them what I wanted to do for you…”

“You told them already?”

“Of course not. I told them I wanted to treat you to a relaxing dinner after the Parents’ Day event, knowing you’d be dead on your feet when you arrived home.”

My heart.

Tears welled behind my lids, the happiest of tears. I couldn’t wait to announce the best news of my life to all my family and friends, but tonight, I was going to allow this man to take care of me the way he had planned to.

Sean kneeled behind me on the outside of the bath. “Tomorrow, you can tell the world and scream it from the rooftops when you’re not so exhausted.” Sean scooped warm water over my hair and lathered it with coconut shampoo. My eyes rested shut as he massaged my headache away with his exquisitely strong hands.

“Thank you, that feels amazing.”

“You know, with such a day planned today, I never should’ve kept you awake all night,” he whispered.

“Hey, I’m not complaining one bit.” I smiled.

Once my hair was washed clean, Sean helped me from the bath and patted me dry. I loved how hard he was beneath his pants, but not once did he try to get physical with me. He’s a pure gentleman who deserved much more than I knew how to offer.

“Put on something comfortable and take a seat at the table. I’ll dish up dinner now so we can get you to bed before you turn into a pumpkin.”

Home-cooked Indian food by the fireplace in my short satin pajamas couldn’t have been any more perfect. No, we’re not crazy. The fireplace was for romantic ambiance only. There’s absolutely no need to add heat during our summers. The romantic gesture was perfectly welcomed.

I didn’t have the energy to deny that I was completely falling for him.

No.

I was in love with him.

Then my mind wandered to the card I found in his office—the elite BDSM club. It’s not the first time since I found the card and slipped it into my pocket that I’d pondered what it meant.

I had many questions but was unsure how to address them without exposing myself as a snoop and untrusting girlfriend.

Mainly, I wanted clarification. Did his request for exclusivity work both in and outside of the club?

“Sean, what would you say if I wanted to visit a BDSM club? It’s something I’ve never done before, and I thought maybe one day I’d like to.”

Sean was quite visibly taken back by the question.

He placed his glass of wine down and relaxed his hands together on the table. “Umm… it’s not really my scene, but I’d rather go with you than have you go alone if it’s something you wanted to experience for yourself.”

Okay.

So, he couldn’t have been meeting up with another woman at the club for some kinky play, I hoped.

“Are you talking about watching or participating?”

“Watching… I guess,” I answered nervously, not willing to discount participation completely.

Sean frowned. “Raven, what’s this about exactly?”

“Oh, nothing.” Silence surrounded us as I sipped on my wine, wishing I could shut my mouth for once.

“I’ve never been to a sex club of any kind, and as mentioned previously, I have no interest in sharing you, and that extends to other men watching you.”

“Okay,” I answered too quietly.

He extended his hand to wrap around mine. “I also don’t want to be that boyfriend who keeps you bottled up and afraid to explore who you are. Personally, I think inviting that kind of environment into our relationship so soon could be sexually explosive, sure, but it could also be detrimental. How about we discuss further in a few months?”

“Sure, of course.” I smiled, embarrassed I had brought it up but unable to shake the brewing concern. “Something Chloe said after she met you made me wonder if you enjoyed a lifestyle I wasn’t yet aware of.”

Geez, Raven, way to go making a romantic celebratory dinner awkward as fuck.

Sean’s laughter thwarted any silence that had transcended upon us in the past few minutes. It was deep and oddly contagious. I chuckled at him, and before I knew it, tears of laughter ran down my face.

“Chloe. What can I say… that woman has an overactive imagination.” Sean stood from his chair and rounded the table, pulling me to my feet. “I promise you that was her interpretation only. I believe what I said was, I prefer a certain type of woman in the bedroom, meaning one whom I had no attachments to. Physically or emotionally. And you blew that preference into oblivion.”

“Oh.” I sighed in a long, drawn-out breath and wiped the tears from my face. “I’m an idiot.”

Laughing, Sean added, “Thankfully, you’re my idiot.”