The Destruction You Desire by Tracy Lorraine
Chapter Ten
Peyton
My cell buzzes in my back pocket as I sit and listen to Professor Lincoln. My fingers itch to get it. No one ever calls me unless it's important.
My heart pounds as I think about something being wrong with Kayden. I don't remember seeing a doctor's appointment on the calendar for him this morning but then it's not like I've really been on top of things the past few weeks, I wouldn't be surprised if I've missed something.
Glancing at the clock, I notice there are only ten minutes until the end of class. I convince myself to wait. That it's probably only a sales call.
I tap my pen against my notebook as I count down the seconds as the hands on the clock continue to tick around. I totally miss whatever Professor Lincoln says as my panic begins to build. There’s something in my gut telling me that whoever is calling, bears bad news.
The second the class draws to a close, I run out of the auditorium like my ass is on fire, pulling my cell from my back pocket as I go.
I find two missed calls from an out-of-state number I don't recognize and a voicemail.
I'm about to hit play on the voicemail when it rings again.
"H-hello?" I ask, my heart in my throat.
"Hello, is this Miss Banks?"
"Y-yeah. W-who’s this?"
"My name is Dr. Willis from St. Thomas Hospital in Atlanta. I believe I've been treating your sister."
Oh my God.
I stumble back against the wall as if the rug has just been ripped out from beneath me.
"L-Liberty?"
"Yes."
"Is she okay?" I ask in a rush, but the knot in my stomach from the tone in the lady's voice on the other end already tells me that she's not.
"Your sister was brought in following a drug overdose, Miss Banks. I highly suggest you find a way to get here if you'd like to see her."
Tears spill from my eyes at her unspoken words.
"S-she's n-not going to m-make it?"
"Her condition is critical, Miss Banks."
"O-okay. I'll get there as soon as I can," I promise before hanging up, not able to hear anything else. I stare at my blank screen for a few seconds as I try to process what I just heard. But the only words that repeat over and over in my head are that my sister might possibly die.
A sob rips from my throat as I push from the wall and all but run down the hallway, needing to get home and find a way to get my ass to Atlanta.
I don't realize there's anyone in front of me until I slam into what feels like a brick wall.
"Shit, I'm—Peyton?"
A large, warm pair of hands land on my shoulders and moves me back before his stare burns into the top of my head.
I suck in a shaky breath, wondering why it had to be right now that I run into him.
"What's wrong, P?"
The genuine concern I hear in his voice forces a sob up my throat and in seconds, I’m gathered in his arms, my face pressed firmly against his chest as his scent fills my nose.
Unable to keep myself under control, I let it all out and cried into him for everything I've already lost and everything I could be about to lose.
I don't realize we've moved until he lifts me onto his lap.
Lifting my head from his chest, I look around and find that we're still in the hallway but sitting on the chairs a little further down from the auditorium I was just in. Thankfully, the entire hallway is empty. It's bad enough that Luca just witnessed my meltdown, I don't need anyone else to see the mess I've been reduced to.
"Tell me what's wrong, baby." His voice is soft, and for a few seconds I forget all about the past few weeks, the past few years and I want nothing more than to confide in him and allow him to do what he can to support me.
But that's not who we are now.
His giant hands engulf my face when he cups my cheeks and wipes away my tears with his thumbs.
"Talk to me," he breathes, his eyes begging me to open up.
"I-it’s Libby. She's—" A sob cuts my words off, but I find some strength from him and suck in a deep breath. "She's in the hospital. I think… I think I'm going to lose her, too."
"Shit." He pulls me into him once again but this time, I refuse to fall apart.
I can't because I need to get to Libby. I need to be there for her no matter what happens. I need her to know that she's not alone. That no matter what has happened in the past, I'll always be there.
I fight to get out of his hold and stand on weak legs.
"What are you doing?" he asks, taking in the determined look on my face.
"I need to figure out a way to get to Atlanta."
"Okay, let's go."
"W-what?"
Pushing from the chair, he stands before me, taking both of my hands in his despite the fact I try to fight him.
"We're going to Atlanta."
"No, Luc. You can't—"
"Watch me." Closing the space between us, he once again cups my cheek. "Let me be what you need, Peyton."
I open my mouth to tell him that what I need is for him to leave but I can't force the words out because as much as I might not want him to be here with me right now, I also don't want to be alone.
Wrapping his arm around my waist, he guides me out of the building, successfully ignoring everyone who tried to engage him in conversation. It's the first time I've been around him on campus and it's my first insight into just how much of a celebrity he is.
I remember what it was like in high school always being in his shadow while he ruled the school, but here it's on an entirely different level. It is literally like he's God. I can understand why the pressure might be getting to him, especially after a less than successful season.
"In you go." I don't realize that we've made it to the parking lot until his words make me look up and I find his Audi in front of me.
"Uh… I have my own car. You don't need—"
"I said, get in."
He closes the space between us as if he's about to throw me inside if I don't do as he said.
"Luc, you don't need—"
"Let me do this, P. Please." His eyes plead with me, and as much as I want to say no, I know I'm not in any place right now to drive myself.
"But my car—"
"I'll get Leon and the guys to sort it out."
I nod, already too exhausted and too focused on just getting to Atlanta to care, I fold myself into the passenger seat and allow him to close the door behind me.
I watch him, feeling completely numb as he pulls his cell out and taps away on the screen for a few minutes.
I wait with my heart in my throat and my impatience growing with every second that passes.
By the time he pulls the door open, I've totally spaced out.
"There's a flight from Orlando in two hours. I managed to get us seats."
My eyes remain locked on a trash can across the parking lot, his words not really registering.
"Peyton," he says softly, reaching over and holding my hand that's resting on my lap. "Did you hear me? We're flying to Atlanta in two hours."
In a daze, I turn to him.
"T-two hours?"
"Yeah. I've booked us seats."
"You've… you're coming to Atlanta?"
He threads his fingers through mine and gently pulls me over the center console so he can press his lips to my forehead.
"Yeah, baby. I'm not letting you do this alone."
I nod, unable to find any words.
After another second, he releases me and starts the engine.
We're outside Aunt Fee's house in only minutes. Luca pulls up out front but hesitates to kill the engine.
Glancing over at him, I find his brow furrowed as he stares at the house.
"Kayden isn't home," I say, knowing that he's at kindergarten this afternoon. "Aunt Fee is though," I add, seeing as her car is in the driveway.
Hitting a button on the dash, the car shuts off and he throws his door open.
"This isn't about me," he mutters as he climbs out.
He opens my door before I've managed to gather my things and he reaches in for my purse.
"Come on. We don’t have much time."
"Okay."
With his hand in the small of my back, he guides me toward the house.
"Peyton, you're home ear—" Aunt Fee's words are cut off when her eyes find Luca standing behind me but they quickly return to me. "What's wrong?"
"It's Libby. She's in a hospital in Atlanta."
"Oh my God, why? What's she done?"
"OD'd."
"Shit."
"I'm taking her to Atlanta. We've got a flight booked and leaving in two hours."
"Y-you are?" Aunt Fee asks, concern covering her face.
"Yeah," I say.
She looks between the two of us, obviously biting back what she really wants to say.
"Why don't you go and pack a bag?" Luca suggests, breaking the awkward tension that crackles around us.
Nodding, I bolt toward the stairs, more than ready to get to the airport so I can at least feel like I'm getting closer to her.
I hear Aunt Fee's soft voice behind me, but I don't hang around to hear whatever she might have to say to Luca. Right now, I don't care. I just want to get to my sister.
I'm shoving some leggings into my overnight bag when a shadow falls over me.
Glancing over my shoulder, I find Aunt Fee watching me with her arms folded across her chest.
"Do you think this is a good idea?"
"Right now, I really don't care. I just need to get there."
"But—"
"I know, Aunt Fee. Trust me, I know. But my priority right now is Libby and I'll take all the help I can get."
She stares at me, disapproval shining bright in her eyes.
"I'm not just going to forgive him because he's booked me a flight. It's going to take more than that."
From the way her brow lifts, I'm not entirely sure she believes me.
"She needs me, Aunt Fee. If she makes it through this, maybe it'll be the wake up call she needs."
Aunt Fee lets out a loud exhale. I know what she's thinking, and maybe she's right. Maybe Libby is a lost cause, but I refuse to give up hope on her. Kayden needs her. I need her. Addicts recover all the time, I can't lose hope that she could be one of them who does. I've already lost too much. I have to believe that there is a chance.
"You need to be careful," she warns. "I know you still love him, but you can't—"
"Is everything okay?" Luca's booming voice cuts through Aunt Fee's warning as he comes to stand behind her.
"Y-yeah. Aunt Fee's just reminding me that I hate you." Folding Elijah's hoodie and placing it at the top of my bag, I throw it over my shoulder. "Let's go."
I push past both of them, already fed up with their meddling in my life.
Luca's fingers wrap around the strap of the bag over my shoulder and when he lifts it, I allow him to take it.
"I'll call you when I know something," I tell Aunt Fee as they both follow me down the stairs.
"Okay. Give her my love."
"Let's just hope I can, huh?"
"Shit, Peyton." She grabs my forearm and I spin around to her.
The tears shining in her eyes don't help me with my quest to keep it together.
"I'm okay. It's going to be okay."
She pulls me into her arms and holds me tight for two seconds before she releases me and pins Luca with a fierce look that I'm not used to seeing on her.
"You hurt her again and your life won't be worth living. I own a gun and my late husband ensured I knew how to use it."
If the situation weren't so dire, I might laugh at the look on Luca's face as all the blood drains out of it.
"She's joking. Let's go."
"Am I? I wouldn't want to test it if I were you, Dunn," she warns.
"Jesus. Come on."
"Call me as soon as you can."
I agree as I race down toward Luca's car. I don't bother to wait for him to open the door for me this time, I just impatiently drop into the passenger seat as he throws my bag in the trunk.
Aunt Fee watches us from the doorway with her brows pulled together in concern. I understand. I don't particularly want to fly to Atlanta with Luca but if it gets me there faster and safer, then I'm all for it right now.
"We'll swing by my place so I can grab some stuff and then we'll head to the airport."
"Okay," I say, strapping myself in and keeping my eyes looking out of the window.
"I just want to help, Peyton," he says after I ignore him for long, agonizing minutes.
"I know," I say coolly. I might appreciate what he's doing for me right now. But that doesn't mean I'm going to give him a free pass after all the shit he's pulled.
One good deed isn't going to make me forget about all the pain he's caused me. How he's treated Leon lately.
"I'll wait here," I say when he pulls up outside of his house.
His chin drops as if he's about to argue but he must think better of it as he closes it again, nodding his head and climbing from the car.
I watch him as he makes his way toward the house, taking in his confident swagger, my eyes dropping down his body to focus on his ass.
I'm so lost in my thoughts that I don't notice him turning back to look at me until it's way too late.
His smirk when I look up at his face tells me that he caught me red-handed.
Rolling my eyes at him, I drag my gaze away and curl up into a ball on his passenger seat, wishing that I was already on my way to Atlanta, even if it meant driving. I can't cope with sitting still right now knowing that Libby is fighting for her life in a hospital bed.
My sister isn't the kind of person to just give up. She's stronger than that. Or at least… she was. I haven’t known her since she was eighteen, hell probably a few years before that if I'm really being honest with myself.
She fell in with the wrong crowd at an early age, and although Mom refused to accept it, I fear she was using alcohol and drugs a lot earlier than we were even aware of.
I drum my fingers against my thigh, nervous energy racing through me.
I almost get out so I can start pacing to get rid of it, but I want to be ready to go the second Luca emerges.
The front door opens two seconds later, and my heart jumps into my throat but when someone emerges, it's not the twin I'm waiting for.
Leon runs down toward the car and I lower the window.
"Are you okay?" he asks in a rush the second he gets to me.
I shrug because I really have no idea what I am right now. Impatient. Terrified. Totally fucking lost.
"Are you sure this is a good idea, letting Luc take you?"
"I don't know, Lee. But I don't care right now. I just need to get there."
"I can take you."
I shake my head, knowing that even suggesting it to Luc would turn this shit show of a day into a complete fucking disaster.
"No, it's fine. Luc wants to do this and I'm happy to let him."
"But—"
"It's fine, Lee. I promise you that I'm not going to forgive him just because he got me a plane ticket."
"That's not what I'm worried about."
"I'm a big girl, Lee. I can look after myself. But right now, I need to be with her."
"Okay, I know." He reaches into the car and takes my hand. "Everything is going to be okay."
I try to swallow around the lump in my throat that tells me everything is very much not going to be okay and instead nod at him.
"If you need anything, you call me, yeah? I'll make sure that Kayden and Fee are okay without you. But I'm here okay. We're family now, Peyton. We take care of our own."
The tears that were burning my eyes threaten to spill over.
"T-thank you, Lee. You're a good friend."
His lips part to say more but a door slamming behind him stops him. Luca's footsteps race toward us before the trunk pops open.
"Do I need to remind you again to keep your hands off my girl?" Luca growls at his brother.
"Fuck off, Luc." Lee's concerned eyes find mine once more. "Are you really sure? My car is right there and it's faster than his. We could totally outrun him."
I can't help but laugh at the serious expression on his face. It feels good to smile.
"I'll be fine. I really appreciate the offer though. We'll call you with news, okay?"
He nods at me as Luca drops into the driver's seat.
"You," Lee spits, his expression instantly morphing into something most people would be scared of. "If you so much as lay a finger on her, I'll drive to Atlanta and kick your fucking ass."
"Whatever," Luca mutters, totally unfazed by his brother's warning.
The car rumbles to life beneath us and Lee has no choice but to pull his head from the car when Luca puts the window up on him.
"Call me if you need me," he mouths at me.
I nod once more before Luca floors the accelerator, sending me flying back into the seat.
"Jesus, a little warning would be nice."
"I don't like him touching you," Luca grits out.
"Fuck off, Luc. He's your brother. My friend."
"I don't care. You're mine."
I scoff. "I haven't been yours for years. It's time you got with the fucking program, Luc. There is no us. And you only have yourself to blame for that."
"I know who is at fault here, Peyton. You really don't need to rub it in my face."
"Really?" I ask, a bitter laugh falling from my lips. "I think you deserve everything I can throw at you. You called me a liar, Luc. After all our years together, everything we'd shared and experienced together. You threw all of that away because of him. Because of a sick fuck who can't keep his…" My words trail off knowing that saying them out loud won't help either of us.
"Don't." he spits.
Folding my arms across my chest, I once again focus my stare out of the window as he flies down Main Street toward the highway that will take us toward the airport.
"Why are you doing this?" I ask after long silent agonizing minutes have passed.
"Because you shouldn't do it alone."
"Leon offered to take your place," I confess.
"Motherfucker." Luca's palm slams down on the wheel.
"I thought about taking him up on his offer. Getting out of your car, climbing into his and turning my back on you. I probably should have done that."
His teeth grind and his jaw pops at my words.
"When I told him everything yesterday, do you know what he said?"
Luca's grip on the wheel tightens, his knuckles turning white with his grip.
"He believed me, Luc. No question."
"Of course he fucking did," he mutters.
I let his words ring around us for a few more minutes as the airport becomes visible on the horizon.
"It ripped him apart, Luc. The look on his face. It took him to a bad place. I don't know what it was, but I'm worried about him."
He lets out a long sigh. "Leon's… complicated."
"That makes both of you. Is it a twin thing or is Shane hard work too?"
"It's a Dunn thing," he deadpans. "We're all related to that cunt. What do you expect?"
I don't answer that because there really is no response needed.
"Leon's… I don't know," he says, scrubbing his hand down his face. "He's hiding some shit. Has been for years. I don't fucking know what it is. I don't think anyone does."
"Shit. You think it has something to do with your dad?"
"I'd put fucking money on him being involved somehow. Long stay?" he asks, his sudden change of subject damn near giving me whiplash.
"Uh…" The sudden realization that I have no idea how long we could be about to leave town for hits me. "You really don't need to do this, Luc. You should be here, living your life not putting it on hold because my sis—" A sob rips up my throat, cutting off my words.
Reaching over, his hot palm squeezes my thigh.
"I wouldn't be anywhere else, P. We do this together, okay? Let me… Let me help you."
I nod, unable to do anything else. I might be conflicted as to whether this is the right thing to do or not, but right now I can't imagine demanding that he's wrong and that I need to do this alone.
"Okay, let's do this."
Luca pulls into the long-term parking lot and after finding a space, we both climb out.
I focus on my breathing as I stand beside his car while he grabs our bags.
I've spent years wishing I could see Libby again. I prayed that she’d found some peace, made herself a new life and was doing okay. I had to, the alternative was too painful to even think about. Luca might have been my ride or die until shit went south, but the relationship I had with Libby was a close second to that.
We fought, of course we did. We're sisters. But she wasn't just my sister, just like our mom wasn't just our mom. The three of us were a team. A unit. And in the blink of an eye, it became just me.
Reaching up, I wipe my tears away with the back of my hand.
With both our bags in one hand, Luca wraps his arm around me, his hand clamping down tightly on my waist as he pulls me into his body. His warmth, his scent, just his presence, calms me. Gives me strength, and I'll take every ounce I can get right now if I'm potentially heading toward a hospital to say goodbye to someone else I love.
"You've got this, baby. And I'm right here. I won't let you fall."
I manage to swallow down my sob this time as his lips press against the top of my head.
Sucking in a deep breath that's tainted with his scent, I pull up my big girl panties and take a step forward.
No matter how badly this is ripping me up inside, Libby needs me. No matter what happens next, she needs me by her side.