To Have & to Hurt by Morgan Bridges

Tristano

“I’m in love with you, Tristano.”

The whispered confession, said through lips made rosier and swollen by my brutal kisses, is like a knife in my chest, stabbing my heart. I can’t fucking breathe. Jumbled emotions spread from where Violetta pierced me with her words and I freeze, trying to fully comprehend what she said, trying to confirm it’s what I actually heard.

“Say it again,” I say, my voice harsh and demanding.

She slowly lifts her wet lashes and blinks up at me. In the darkness it’s hard to make out the bright hues of her eyes, but there’s something shining in them that’s more vibrant than the turquoise and green which captivate me.

“What?” Her chest swells with each ragged breath and speaking is only making it that much harder for her to breathe. But I want to hear the words.

I need to hear them.

“Say you love—”

She diverts my attention when her legs give out. I’m quick to grab her hips and then pin her to the balusters with the length of my body. After snaking an arm around her waist, I take her chin in hand so she can’t look away. I want to see what’s in her gaze when she tells me of her love again.

Because hearing it once is not enough.

Maybe not ever.

And there’s also a part of me that fears I imagined it, that I’m so fucking weak for Violetta I’m creating visions of her saying what I want to hear most.

Fuck me.

I’m quick to slam down mental shields on that line of thinking and redirect my focus to her. The only problem is when she repeats it.

“I do love you.” The words transfer from her to me on a defeated sigh, instead of a passionate moan like before. This does not please me.

Violetta tries to jerk her chin from my hold and I clamp down, preventing her from escaping. She does it anyway by closing her eyes and hiding the emotion in the depths of her gaze.

Il mio piccolo ribelle.¹

“I wish I didn’t,” she whispers.

Whether that’s meant for her or me, I’m not sure. But one thing I do know is I won’t let Violetta change her mind now that I know. Because that simple confession means more to me than I thought possible.

And it changes everything.

Violetta’s love is like her, something I want to be the first and only to have.

I caress her bottom lip with my thumb in slow and gentle sweeps until she takes a deep breath. With her mouth slightly open, I’m able to dip my finger inside and press my thumb on her tongue, before making small circles. The saltiness of Violetta’s orgasm transfers from my skin to her taste buds and her eyes pop open.

“Do you see how good you taste?” I ask. Her breath hitches, her pebbled nipples rubbing my chest and making me inwardly groan. “This is why I want to devour you at all times, but that is not what I want to talk about right now.”

She turns her head, freeing her mouth, and says, “Please let me go. I’ve told you everything, even things I wasn’t supposed to. You’ve gotten what you wanted, so we’re done.”

Despite the threads of anguish in her voice, I’m not going to consider her plea. I’ve learned too much, heard too much, and experienced too much of Violetta to ever walk away. Knowing she loves me is all that matters.

It’s all that I want, the thing I’ve been missing in my life.

“And where will you go, hmm?” I tilt my head and my brows lift. “Back to your room?”

“Yes.”

“To do what exactly?”

Her frustration reemerges and her eyes flash with an impending attack. “I’m fucking Beni and I’m going to fuck him some mor—”

She makes a choking sound the second my fingers wrap around her throat. My cock springs free when I shove my pants down, and using the arm around Violetta’s waist, I lift her so that her cunt skims the head of my cock. Then I thrust into her with every ounce of strength in my body. Her scream would’ve echoed throughout the entire mansion if I wasn’t squeezing her airways.

Watching her mouth part, her eyes slide closed, and her face take on a contorted expression of pleasure is enough to make me come. But I don’t because I want this to last. The need to be inside her has been driving me insane. It’s all I’ve been able to think about and I lied to myself that if I had her just one more time I’d be able to leave her alone.

What a fucking joke.

As I slam into her luscious body and her cunt fists my cock, her arousal sliding down the length of it, I know I’m fucked. Violetta wraps her legs around me and grips the iron baluster as I fuck her ruthlessly and without remorse. This is what I need. The beast within craves more, hungers for more of her, and the damn thing is insatiable.

But so is Violetta.

She arches her back and digs her heels into my spine every time I thrust into her, timing the gyration of her hips to mine. She grinds down on my cock as I drive into her and squeezes me when I withdraw. I fuck her until I think I’ll fall to my knees, and she’s there with me, giving me as much as I’m forcing on her. When my cock swells and my balls lift, my cum about to spill into her, Violetta mouths the word harder.

My beast takes control and I thrust in-between her thighs, using every muscle available to maintain my stamina. But also to give her what she needs.

“You better come for me,” I pant in her ear. “And I mean right fucking now.”

Her obedience is swift and the walls of her cunt ripple with the orgasm now consuming her. I release her throat and she sucks in a breath to scream her release, but I’m swallowing it, muffling the never-ending cries. In return, she stifles the roar I emit when I pour into her cunt, still kissing her as though she’s what I need to survive.

And I’m starting to believe that to be true.

Together, with our breaths uneven and labored, our hearts nearly exploding, and our bodies shaking, we come down from the sexual high. She lets her arms fall and wraps them around my neck. I have to lean into her to stay upright, and after shifting her slightly, I lower us to the floor with me still inside her.

She buries her face at the base of my throat and then sighs. It’s the sweetest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. My lungs fill with much needed air and then I release it slowly. Not a sigh, but definitely full of satisfaction, one that’s deep enough to reach the marrow in my bones.

The sound of a door opening and closing on the floor above has me on alert. Violetta stiffens in my arms and then tries to disentangle herself from me, but I hold her down. She meets my gaze with wide, frightened eyes and then looks up. Two pairs of footsteps hit the stairwell at the same time, the bottoms of their feet slapping against the marble.

“Rafael, this is ridiculous.”

Violetta bites her lip when her sister’s voice reaches us in the curved part of the staircase at the bottom. I shoot her a look meant to silence her and she nods, her face now pale.

“Come on, viziata. Whipped cream is fun, not to mention tasty. I’ll grab it and then we can finish what we started.”

Carina exhales on a giggle and the couple turn the corner leading to the kitchen. Violetta’s heart races so quickly I begin to worry.

“You will stop being scared right now,” I say in her ear, my voice low.

She gives me an incredulous look, but her muscles relax a little. It’s enough for me not to be concerned with her blood pressure.

My brother and her sister return seconds later and race up the stairs, clearly not trying to be quiet, and prove they aren’t aware of our presence. Once the door closes upstairs, Violetta goes limp in my arms.

“That was too close,” she says.

I huff out a laugh. “I fucked you on a table in the middle of an open patio where a number of people could’ve watched, but now you want to be shy?”

“It’s my sister!”

“Who’s doing the exact same thing we just were.”

“I need to go.”

“Why?”

Violetta blinks at me until she pulls herself from her stupor. “Because we…and you…this is…” She groans in frustration and then takes a deep breath. “I’m mad at you and don’t want to be around you.”

This is another one of those few times I don’t relish hearing the truth.

“Your pussy is definitely around me, my cock to be exact, and I’d say you’re far from mad at me if the way you came all over me is any indication.”

She shoves me relatively hard considering the differences in our strength and size. “You don’t have the right to treat me like shit and then fuck me whenever you want. It doesn’t work that way.”

My palm is on her ass before she can form another sentence. The slapping of flesh is muffled by her robe and nightgown, but the sound of her strangled cry isn’t. My hand tingles a little, her ass even more so I assume.

“I’ve been meaning to correct you about your language,” I say. “It’s one thing to utter an expletive when you’re scared or hurt, but you’ve developed quite the habit, especially when speaking to me. I won’t allow that type of disrespect, ribelle.”

“You’re the reason I’m using those words, because you frustrate the shit out of me.”

I swat her ass and she starts in my arms, then glares at me.

“That’s enough. Behave yourself.”

“You first,” she mutters.

Inwardly I grin at her petulant behavior because I adore the feisty side of Violetta’s personality. But if she knew that, she’d be impossible to deal with, leaving me vacillating between wanting to punish her and kiss her smart mouth.

I slowly get to my feet with her in my arms and she hugs my neck. “I’m not going to let you fall and get hurt,” I whisper in her hair. She smells like violets, sex, and me. My cock stirs inside her.

She tucks her chin, dropping her gaze. “You’ve already done it once, so why wouldn’t you do it again?”

I halt my climb up the stairs and bring my gaze to hers. “Would you care to repeat that?” She shakes her head, but her eyes are still shimmering with anger. And pain. A sharp twinge slashes through my chest at the sight. “I didn’t think so,” I say.

After returning to her bedroom and shutting the door, I ease her onto the bed and then slowly withdraw from her tight body, already regretting it. Violetta stares up at me and her eyes roam my face, searching for something. I’m about to question her over it, but she’s quick to shimmy up the bed and away from me.

“Don’t move,” I say.

I head to the adjoining bathroom, retrieve a washcloth, and then dampen it. When I’m standing on the side of the bed, looming over Violetta, I glance at her closed legs and then quirk a brow. Her mouth pinches at the corners, but she spreads her thighs for me.

Just like she always will.

“You don’t need to do that,” she grumbles. “I can do it myself. It’s my body, you know.”

I smile and continue wiping her inner thighs. “Actually, it’s mine and the sooner you accept that the easier this will be.”

“What will be easier?” She bites her lip when I run the wet material over the entrance of her cunt and her cheeks flush. “You know what? It doesn’t matter because I’m not staying here much longer.”

My hand stills, nestled between her legs, and I jerk my head up. From the stubborn set of her chin to the rebellious glint in her eyes, Violetta is dead serious.

And she’s dead wrong.

“Is that so?” I say slowly. She nods, but some of her bravado diminishes under my withering gaze. “Where are you going? And if you speak Benito’s name even once, I will spank your ass until it burns and then fuck it so you can’t breathe without suffering. Hai capacito?”

“But that’s what you believe, isn’t it?” she asks, her voice laced with caution.

I exhale and then go back to cleaning her off. “I wasn’t sure at first, but I know the truth now.”

I didn’t believe Violetta about Benito earlier, but after hearing her heartfelt confession of love for me—that I felt burrow into the depths of my darkened soul—I knew the truth.

She’s only been with me and has no interest in anyone else.

At least not right now.

It was my paranoia, galvanized by my mother’s actions in the past, which drove me to that conclusion after witnessing Violetta in Benito’s embrace. I don’t know whether or not she sought out his comfort, however, Violetta did accept it when it should’ve been with me. I know I’ve made it difficult for her to want that from me, but there will be other times when things are tense between us and I expect her to come to me. Not find another man to take solace in.

Regardless of whether it’s in his arms or in his bed, both are considered disloyal to me.

“What changed your mind?” she asks. Violetta squints at me, her face scrunching. If this conversation wasn’t so important I’d fuck her for being so adorable. “You seemed very convinced I was a slut.”

After wiping myself down and disposing of the washcloth, I return to the bed. The pulse flickering in her neck picks up speed when I crawl across the mattress. Is it from excitement or apprehension?

I place my knees on either side of her thighs and my palms next to her shoulders, caging her in. Then I lower my face until her tiny breaths fan across my mouth. “I knew you were telling the truth when you said you loved me.”

Her face pales, the flush of embarrassment from earlier gone in the blink of an eye. “That was a mistake.”

“How so?”

Now my pulse is thundering in my ears, almost to the point I can’t hear her answer.

“I…I didn’t mean it.”

That response sets my teeth on edge and a muscle in my jaw twitches from the effort it takes to keep from shouting. And executing my threat to spank and fuck her ass. She clamps her mouth shut, which is very wise of her because if I hear her say that again I don’t know what I’ll do to her.

“I’m not in the mood to play games with you,” I say, after I’m able to employ my self-control. And damn, it’s so hard around her.

“You’re being such an unreasonable assho—” Violetta presses her lips together at the sound of my teeth grinding together. Her voice is less hostile when she speaks again. “You’re being unfair. You can’t sleep with me and then ignore me, but decide the next day you want to have sex with me again because it suits you. And you can’t accuse me of being a whore when you’ve basically turned me into one, but for you.”

“And only for me,” I say. “Along with your fidelity, I want your obedience and for you to always tell the truth, starting with what you said about loving me.”

I swipe my tongue along the seam of her lips and then lick mine to taste the flavor of her. Both  truth and lies can be deceptively sweet and sometimes it’s hard to tell them apart. However, she wasn’t lying when she called me an asshole.

Violetta gasps and then licks her lips, almost as if it’s an uncontrollable reaction. That small thing has my cock hardening. She is sexy and no matter what she does I want her. Even when looking at me like she’d prefer I leave, the way she is right now.

“Please…” She inhales deeply and closes her eyes before releasing the breath. When she lifts her lashes to stare up at me there’s a shadow covering the cerulean hues that wasn’t present before. “You were right when you said I was too young to know what I want, and continuing with that logic leads me to believe I didn’t know what I was saying earlier. I was overwhelmed by what you were doing to me and I…”

“You what?” I bite out.

“I misspoke.”

“I see.”

Violetta flinches when I move, but I have no interest in hurting her. Once my feet are on the floor I run my gaze over her, starting at the arches of her dainty feet. Then I take in her smooth, long legs and supple thighs, the curves of her waist and the fullness of her breasts, and end with the loose, dark curls framing her lovely face. She’s a vision, there’s no disputing that. But none of the things that attract me to her sexually compare to the way Violetta looked at me when she said she loved me.

That is what I want.

And that is what I’ll fucking get.

1  My tiny rebel.