Until Tia by K.L. Humphreys
Tia
"So, don't leave me hanging, Tia!" Gabby sighs as she flops down onto the couch beside me. "Did you get the job or not?"
"I'm waiting to hear back," I hate the waiting, but I understand they've interviewed a lot of applicants today. "There were fifteen people in the lobby waiting to be interviewed when I was called in."
Gabby pouts, "But I want you to work there."
I giggle at her childish behavior, "Gabs, I don't think it works like that."
Although, I'll never admit it to her, the interviewers seemed pretty impressed by my knowledge of HarMar and the products they sell. Gabby spent four hours with me last night telling me every single piece of information that she has ever heard about Christopher. Including all the rich businessmen that he’s friends with. But the more that Gabby talked about Christopher, the more I liked, from what she’s told me he’s down to earth and keeps out of the spotlight. For someone so rich, it’s a nice change that not every single thing about him is advertised in the media.
"So, did you meet him? Is he as gorgeous in real life as he is in the media?"
"No, he wasn't at the interview. It was the vice president as well as the head of human resources," I inform her as I tuck my feet beneath my legs. "I feel as though it went well, but I guess we'll just have to wait and see."
Gabby crosses her fingers as she closes her eyes. I see her lips moving but no sound is coming out and I’ve known her long enough to know that she's saying a silent prayer that I'll get the job. She loves HarMar products. She's a huge gamer. Every night she's on her console, talking to her friends, and playing games.
"You're such a child," I tell her as I poke her side knowing that I've hit her ticklish spot. She doesn't disappoint me; she begins to giggle and I continue to tickle her until she cries for mercy.
"I hate you," she huffs at me as she tries to regain her breath. Her eyes wet from her laughter and her cheeks flushed. "But I'm so proud of you, T. It couldn't have been easy going there today and interviewing but you did it and you kicked ass!"
I roll my eyes at her dramatics. "Proud of what?"
She tsks at me, "Don't, T. Just don't put yourself down. Since that asshole..." she snarls, we never mention his name anymore. "You've finally started to flourish, you've grown stronger, and you're finally able to start living again. I'm so proud of you. Do you know that there's some women that have been in your situation that are unable to leave the house."
I blink. How does she know that?
"They're unable to even meet with a man as they're so scared that he'll hurt her. They're paralyzed by fear and I've prayed so hard that it wouldn't happen to you. That you'd be able to rebuild your life. And you have." Tears slowly spill from her eyes.
My heart aches at seeing her cry, "I owe so much to you. Without having you in my corner, being here day in and day out, pushing me, I doubt I'd be where I am today." I wholeheartedly believe that, without Gab being my unwavering support, I'm not sure I'd have healed as much as I have.
"When you were first in the hospital, a nurse spoke to me about this support group that's to help families of abused women and men. It's to help them come to terms with what's happened and then for us to help our loved one to heal." She shakes her head, "I learned so much from that group, I heard so many horror stories of what other women and men had gone through at the hands of people that they believed had loved them." She swallows hard as she swipes away at the tears. "We haven't really spoken about what you went through and I have a feeling that you've not told anyone just how bad it got between the two of you."
She's right. I haven't and I don't think I ever will. I know that there are some people out there that have been abused to the point where they've contemplated suicide to escape what's happening to them. I never reached that point but the things that Jamie did to me will haunt me for the rest of my life. I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to trust another man again or that I'd be able to get close to one. But Gabby's right, I have come a long way since I've been here and I have finally started to rebuild my life. I just wish that Jamie would be arrested and that I wouldn't have to worry about him anymore. I'm constantly looking over my shoulder, wondering when he's going to strike again.
The thing about abusers is that they view their victim as their property. That's exactly how Jamie views me. To him, I'm a possession, one that he's lost and he'll do everything that he can to get me back. He told me enough times that if I ever managed to get away from him, that he'd find me. That if a man ever looked at me they'd live to regret it. That I would too. I believe him. I've seen what he can do and I'm scared that it's just a matter of time before he finally gets his hands on me again.
My heart races as fear grips a hold of me, my palms begin to sweat and I'm back in that same mindset trying to figure out what to do next before he strikes at me.
"Tia." The softness of her voice breaks through the fear. "That's it, breathe."
I blink at Gabby's voice as relief washes through me. I'm not with Jamie, I'm safe. I'm here with my sister.
"I'm sorry, God, I'm so sorry." She's sobbing and I'm still coming back from the panic that I'm unable to do anything but stare at her. Her eyes wide, her mouth opened slightly, and her hands shaking as she wrings them together.
I lick my lips, unsure what to say or do right now. This hasn't happened before. "What happened?"
She swipes away the tears with the back of her hand, sniffing as she does. "We were talking and then you just seemed to drift off, you were in your own world. I reached out and touched your hand and you began to shake, you were panting, and you were making this awful noise in the back of your throat." She sobs once again and I hate that I've done this to her. "You were terrified. I shouldn't have touched you, I'm so sorry."
"It's not your fault," I whisper. "I was thinking about what you said, I was lost in thought. I'm sorry." I thought I was over what happened, but obviously not. I thought I was stronger than this.
"I shouldn't have touched you. I should have known better. Have you thought about talking to someone?"
I tense, hell no. I don't want to talk to anyone. I can't. I don't want anyone to know just how bad things were between Jamie and I or how weak I was to let it continue for as long as it did. "I'm okay," I promise her, but even to my own ears my words fall flat.
She gives me a look of disbelief but thankfully swiftly changes the subject. "What would you like for dinner?"
I shrug, "I don't mind. Want me to cook?"
Before she's able to answer me, my cell phone rings. I glance at the table where it's currently buzzing as it rings. An unknown number flashes on the screen.
"Answer it. It could be the job!" Gabby hisses as I stare at it like it's a grenade about to detonate. "Come on, T, answer it."
Taking a deep breath, I reach for it. "Hello?"
"Ms. Monroe," the caller says, her voice strong and steady. "This is Margaret Little."
My heart rate spikes as she talks. "Oh, hi." I sound like an idiot, I'm not sure what to say.
"Hi. We loved your interview and especially that you had obviously done your research before coming here. We'd love to give you a trial here at HarMar and see how it goes from there."
Buzzing fills my ears. Oh my God. "Really?" I breathe.
She chuckles lightly, "Yes, really. Mr. Harlan is busy, extremely so. It's going to be a tough job."
"I'll be fine," I assure her. The excitement is already building. I'm beyond happy. Finally, something good is happening. "I'm really looking forward to it."
"That's great. Please could you arrive at eight Monday morning? That way we'll be able to get you set up before Mr. Harlan arrives at nine."
"I'll be there." I want to squeal with excitement, but instead I bite my lip and wait.
"Excellent, I'll see you Monday, Ms. Monroe."
When we end the call, I stare at my cell in astonishment.
"Well?" Gabby asks, practically bouncing on her feet. I didn't even see her stand.
"They've offered me a probationary trial period." I can hardly believe it.
"That's fantastic. I know you're going to smash it and get the job on a full time basis." The utter belief she has in me is refreshing.
"Love you," I tell her, needing her to know just how much I appreciate everything that she's done for me.
Her eyes glisten, "Love you too, and to answer your question. You're not cooking, I'm getting us take-out. Something yummy to celebrate your new job." She claps her hands as she bounces up and down on her feet. "I'm so proud of you." She grins at me, the love shining brightly in her eyes.
"Okay, enough mushy stuff," I tell her, exhausted from the emotional whiplash that I've gone through in the last thirty minutes. "What are we having for dinner? I'm hungry." And to back up my statement, my stomach growls as though I've not eaten in a few days.
Gabby laughs, "Okay, okay, I'll order us dinner, you choose a movie." She dances away into the kitchen.
I sit back down on the couch and sigh in relief. This is it. A new start: A new job, a new leaf, a new me.
* * *
Hands grasp my ankles and pull hard. Making me come awake in a gasp. I'm too late, usually I wake when I hear him come in, but tonight I didn't. My fault. I was fast asleep, in a deep sleep, something that doesn't happen often. I flail about, needing to escape, hoping that I'll connect my foot with a part of his body and he'll release me. I know what's going to happen. He's done this too many times before. It's as though he believes it's his God given right to hurt me.
"No, please," I rasp as he pulls me closer to him.
He tuts while shaking his head, his blue eyes that I used to love are dark and filled with anger. "What have I told you about telling me no?"
He moves his hands from my ankles to my hips, within seconds my shorts and panties are ripped from my body.
"Not again, please, Jamie..." I plead with him, I hate when he does this. I feel so dirty and ashamed. My fear is clogging the air, I can't go through this again. The last time he did this he tore me open and I needed stitches. The shame I had when the nurse was stitching me up is something I never want to go through again.
His hand tangles in my hair and he pulls hard, lifting me from the bed. "What did I tell you about telling me no? Hmm, Tia? You're mine and that means your body is mine." He runs his tongue along my jaw bone and it takes everything in me not to shudder, that'll only make things worse.
"You're mine to do as I please, to take whenever I want, however I want. Your only job is to lie there and take it." He pulls harder on my hair and brings me so that we're inches apart. "Are you going to let me do what I want?"
I swallow back the sob that's threatening to escape and nod at him.
His grin is sadistic as he pushes me down onto the bed. The sound of his zipper has my body trembling as I know what's to come.
"Mine, Tia, all fucking mine. Anyone tries to take you, I'll kill them. Then I'll kill you." he warns as he pushes my legs open.
I brace myself for what's about to happen.
"Tia, wake up. You're scaring me."
I open my eyes instantly at the sound of my sister's voice. My entire body is shaking and dripping with sweat. "What?" I ask blinking away the remnants of the nightmare.
"You were screaming, T. Begging someone to stop as you thrashed around in the bed." Once again, my sister is sobbing, her face red and puffy. "You wouldn't wake up." She's sitting on the edge of my bed, her hip against my legs as she looks at me.
I stare at her, trying so hard to stop the panic clawing at me. How much does she know?
"Tia, why didn't you tell me?" Her voice soft and filled with concern.
I swallow back the bile, inwardly pleading that she doesn't know. "Tell you what?" My voice hoarse as though I've been screaming all night.
"The truth, how long was he hurting you? Did he sexually abuse you?” She releases a harsh breath. “I'm going to kill him."
I can't do this. My body's trembling worse than ever, I'm barely able to breathe, my breaths coming out in pants at the mere thought of telling Gabby what really happened.
"I'm sorry for waking you. I'll see you in the morning," I tell her and lie back down, close my eyes, and feign sleep. Praying that she’ll drop it.
I hate that I'm hurting her, but there's just some things I won't talk about and what Jamie did to me is one of those. I want those memories locked in the back of my head and not able to taint anyone else. I won't let them hurt Gabby.
She's silent for a while, not once moving from her spot on the bed. The warmth of her body is seeping into mine and replacing the icy chill that I felt.
I must fall back to sleep because I don't remember hearing Gabby leaving.