Until Tia by K.L. Humphreys

5

Tia

"Tell me about your first day!" November says with a bright smile.

I'm seated on my sofa, my feet tucked under my legs eating pizza, Gabby sitting beside me, and November's face is on my laptop screen as we video call. Since November moved to Tennessee all those years ago, this is the only way I'm able to see her face regularly. We're happy talking like this, even though we'd prefer to visit one another more often, it's not feasible.

"It was good, Christopher is..." I pause, unable to form the right word. "Different compared to what I had expected."

That's an understatement if there ever was one. Christopher made me feel things I have no right to feel. I wanted him to wrap his arms around me and hold me tight, to promise me that it'll all be okay. But I know that's never going to be the case while Jamie is still hanging around.

November leans forward, her face even closer to the screen as her brows pinch together. "What do you mean?"

I shrug, "I guess, I thought he'd be an asshole, maybe not that bad, but definitely a jerk. But he wasn't, he was nice and down to earth."

Gabby gasps beside me. "Oh, God. You like him!" she exclaims. "You actually like him."

November has a grin on her face as she nods her head in agreement. "Yep, I've known you a very long time, T, I know you like him."

Gabby claps her hands, "Does he like you too?"

November tuts, "Of course he does, have you seen her?"

"You should go out on a date with him," Gabby concludes and the two of them start talking about the hypothetical date and where we should go.

"I can't..." I choke out, the fear of being that close to another man makes me want to crawl into a corner and cry.

"Tia?" November asks, gone is the happiness that she had mere moments ago. "T, what's going on, talk to me."

"I can't go through it again," I whisper, hating that I'm being vulnerable, I never let them see me like this.

Gabby clutches my hand, giving it a squeeze and holding on tight. "You never talk about what happened with that asshole. We're here for you, Tia, we're not going to judge you, we just want to help you."

"After what happened to me in New York." My stomach flips at her words. Her mom set up her up to be mugged and beaten. She was in a bad way after it happened, so scared that she fled New York and went to her dad in Tennessee. "I told Asher what happened and I felt better afterwards, please, T, let us be here for you. Talk to us."

I lick my lips as bile threatens to rise up my throat. "Where do I start?" I whisper, unable to speak louder.

"From the beginning," November encourages. "We're not here to judge you, Tia, you've done nothing wrong."

I nod. "I never wanted you to know what was happening," I confess.

"Why?" Gabby questions, her hand still clutching mine.

"I didn't want you to think I was weak, or stupid."

"Oh, T," November cries, "I'd have never thought that."

Gabby squeezes my hand, "Go on..."

I take in a deep breath, "I don't really know when or how it started. Things were great between us and then slowly he'd start to comment on the way I looked, the way I dressed, my weight." I bite my lip as my tears threaten to fall. "The first time he hit me, God, it was over something so stupid. I can hardly remember it. He backhanded me, it was quick and hard. It hurt like hell. He immediately apologized to me."

"Oh, Tia," November whispers, her fingers pressing against her mouth.

"I stupidly forgave him. It just kept getting worse. I was alone, and I felt as though I had no one to turn to." Gabby's hand trembles in mine at my words, I never intended to hurt anyone. But it's as though I've sliced open a bleeding wound, everything spills from me.

"If I didn't have dinner ready, he'd punch me. If I was even a minute later than what I had said in coming home, I'd have a broken wrist. Forget calling anyone, he'd monitor it and if he didn't like what I was saying I'd pay for it as soon as I got off the phone call."

"How bad did it get?" Gabby asks.

I shrug, "I don't really know. When I ended up in the hospital it was because he got careless. I pissed him off something terrible that day." I shake my head as I remember the utter anger and hatred that Jamie had on his face. "I didn't sense his mood," I laugh, it sounds so stupid now, but it's something that I have gotten really good at. I can sense moods and I know how to act, if they're pissed, I'd do whatever I can to stay out of their way.

"I should have and I mentioned that I wanted to go to Tennessee when July was born, he lost his shit. He kept screaming at me as he hit me. Telling me that I was his and no one else's."

"What aren't you telling us, T?" November asks quietly.

I forgot just how well she knows me.

"What happened?" Gabby questions. "Was that the worst that happened?"

I wish it were the worst, but it was nowhere near it. He took so much from me and when he shoved me down the stairs, I knew it would be only a matter of time before he killed me. I could endure the beatings. I preferred them to the alternative. I lost count how many times he raped me. They were brutal, soul shattering, and horrific assaults. When you hear about people being raped, you assume that it was from a stranger, you never think that it would be from their partner.

Jamie always told me that no one would ever believe me that he raped me. Because he was my boyfriend and it's what happens between lovers, they have sex. He was taking what was his. It's why I have never told anyone what truly went on with Jamie and I. I'd be devastated if anyone I love thought as Jamie did and that the assaults he inflicted on me were part of the parcel of being in a relationship.

"It's over with now," I tell them hoping that they'll drop it.

"But it's not over with," November implores. "Not every man is like Jamie. Most of them are amazing. You said it yourself, your boss is different, and I get from the look on your face when you spoke about him, that it's a kind of different you're not used to and, girl, I get it. It happened with Asher. I wasn't expecting him at all."

I smile, she's right, he bossed his way into her life and has stayed there ever since. Not that November complained. I mean, who would kick a Mayson out of bed?

"But you're scared that he's going to hurt you. I wish there was a way we could tell who's going to be an asshole and who isn't, but we can't. T, you just have to take the plunge and hope for the best. Get to know him first before you even think of going to that next step, and see how things go."

I take a steadying breath, grateful that they dropped the previous conversation. "We only met today, he probably doesn't even see me that way; I'm his employee."

November waves her hand in dismissal, "That's bullshit and you know it. If you're feeling the pull then so is he."

"He's my boss?"

Gabby laughs, "And?"

"He's my boss. Anyway, enough about me. Don't think it escaped me that Zeke snuck out of the apartment this morning," I say with a smirk.

"Whoa, who's Zeke and why am I only finding out about this now?" November demands.

Gabby narrows her eyes, "Because I didn't tell you."

Again, November waves her hand in dismissal. "Tia always tells me about your dates."

I choke back a laugh at the look of horror on Gabby's face. "You tell her about my dates?"

I nod, "She's married and I'm..." What am I? "Well, I'm me. We don't date, so we live vicariously through you."

"So, Zeke... He stayed the night?"

Gabby sighs and slumps back into the sofa, "He's amazing." Heat starts to rise in her cheeks. "Like beyond amazing!"

"Tell me more..." November instructs with a smile on her face. "Please tell me he's big..."

Gabby bites her bottom lip but nods. "Huge."

November and I dissolve into giggles at Gabby's shyness.

"What are you laughing at?" I hear Asher's deep voice asking.

"She has a boyfriend," November says through her giggles as she points at the screen.

"What? Tia's dating?" There's a harshness to his voice that has my laughter stopping. "Who is it? I want to meet them."

"Jeez, calm down, it's not Tia, well not yet anyway. Gabby's dating," November explains.

Asher's face comes onto the screen. "You dating?" he asks her and Gabby nods. "I want to meet him."

"Um, Asher, there's no need," Gabs says, quietly, her eyes soft as she looks at him with respect, love, and awe.

"Bullshit, there's every need. We fucked up with Tia, that won't be happening again."

My heart fills with so much warmth. Gabby and I are lucky to have such an amazing family. Not by blood, but through friendship. I'd do anything for the Maysons and they'd do anything for Gabby and me.

"Fine," Gabby relents but she doesn't sound angry. I know that she's happy about it. We love how much they care about us. Asher especially. "I'd actually love it if you'd meet him."

"We'll sort something out and come out to see you," he promises her. Then he turns his gaze to me, "You doing okay?"

God, November is a lucky bitch. Asher Mayson is the best man that I have ever known.

"I'm okay, honestly."

"She's finally moving on..." November tells him and I close my eyes. Damn, she has a big mouth.

"Oh. Nov. Jeez, poke the bear why don't you," Gabby tells her wincing.

"What?" November asks, looking innocent.

"You dating?" he questions and I shake my head. "Good, keep it that way."

I can't help but laugh. "Ash, I'm twenty-eight. I'm old enough to date. I just said my boss was different. I'm not dating him, I only met him today."

Asher doesn't say a word, he just stares at me and I feel as though he's looking straight through me to my soul. He nods and then walks away.

"Okay then, looks like we're coming to see you sooner than we had planned," November tells us with a smile. "July misses you both."

God, I miss her too. It's been too long.

"Be safe," she tells us. "I'll talk to you soon. Love you."

My heart hurts saying goodbye to her, but I know it's not forever. "Love you."

The call ends and the screen goes blank. Gabby pulls me into her arms, "You're amazing, Tia. You're someone that I look up to, someone I go to for strength and love. I can't imagine my life without you. You're more than my sister. You're my best friend."

God, why am I so emotional today? "I love you so much, Gabs. I can't imagine being here without you."

I know for a fact that my life would be different if it weren't for her. She picked me up when I hit rock bottom.

"Love you too."

* * *

I smile at the barista as I hand her the money. I grab the two coffees and turn to leave the coffee shop. Just as I exit the building a low whistle sends chills running down my spine. "Looking good, Tia." Jamie's deep, gravelly voice has my blood turning to ice.

I ignore it and start walking toward the HarMar building. The quicker I'm off the street the better. I need to get away from Jamie, I knew he hadn't disappeared, he's been lurking. It's the only way he knew I'd be here. He's been following me. My pulse skyrockets at that thought. Is he always watching me?

His hand clamps around my arm, the grip he has bruising and painful. I try to scream but no sound comes out. I've been conditioned not to make a sound when he puts his hands on me. "It's not nice to walk away from me, Tia. I thought you knew better than that."

He pulls me along with him into the alleyway and panic starts to rise within me. I try and pull away from him, but his grip is too tight and I'm unable to break free.

"What do you want, Jamie?" I try to keep the tears at bay. It seems whenever I feel as though I'm finally able to escape him, he comes back and shows me that he's still in charge, that I'll never be free from him.

"You. You're mine, Tia, the sooner you remember that, the better. I want you home." His grip tightens as his words get harsher.

"It's not happening, Jamie, now leave me alone." I pull my arm from his grip and reach for my cell, "I'm calling the cops."

He chuckles, "Not going to happen. You'll never get rid of me. I'm watching you, Tia."

He takes a step back from me and I start moving again, needing to get the hell away from him. I don't understand why he's doing this to me. Why is he tormenting me?

"You're mine, Tia Monroe," he yells out after me and I shiver in disgust.

No, I'll never be his again. I'd rather die.