Marked By Rejection by Avery Stone
Worthy Of Survival
Sweet hymns of healing sing to me in my dreams.A deep requiem that one would sing to invite the sadness out of one's heart and let it free into the vast wilderness. The melody was unique, especially when it resonated with a deeper register, but the longer I listened to it, the more I wished to meet its creator.
To find the culprit of the harmony that encouraged me to swim to the surface of consciousness.
Actually, waking up wasn't as hard as I expected it to be, and what surprised me more was the fact that my body was absent of pain. The exhaustion was apparent, my limbs feeling heavy in nature, but the stiffness was far better than the pain I'd experienced prior to my demise.
My vision was greeted with white light. It was obvious even with the slight opening of my eyelids that my right eye was dimmed drastically compared to my left.
I could still acknowledge the light, but its brightness was sullen in comparison. Adjusting to the light allowed me to stare up at the white ceiling, and my ears registered that the melodic hymn was coming from my left side.
Turning my head slowly, I was immediately hit with emotion as the man who I'd lost at the hands of those villainous men now sat next to my bed in all white. His right ankle rested on his left knee, while he held a single white rose, his thumb brushing along the dark green stem.
His eyes were filled with tranquility as he was lost in the melancholy of what surely was the final verse. I listened to its entirety, completely compelled by his very aura that danced around his frame.
I didn't know why, but it was so much easier to see with my damaged right eye - the wondrous hues of gold and green mingling together like the two-colored energies were dancing to the tune.
When he hit the final note, he allowed his eyes to close, and a tiny smile transcended upon his smooth lips. He looked so at peace, and there was no doubt in mind that we were in Heaven. I could get teary-eyed at the mere dream of such an opportunity, but what actually made those tears swarm my eyes was seeing him looking far better than the last sight I’d had of him.
This wouldn't get rid of the fact that he'd died because of me, but it did give me peace of mind that he was in a better place.
"May my song heal you, Wren."
His eyes opened slowly, their twinkling surface slowly looking over to me. It took them a second to widen, acknowledging that I was awake and crying, but I couldn't stop myself from reaching out with my right hand and lightly placing it against his cheek.
"Thank you."
My tears spilled down my cheeks as I broke out in a genuine smile, and his eyes further softened while he lifted his left hand to press it against my right one.
"Welcome back, Freebird."
Freebird...
The newly appointed nickname tugged at my heartstrings, and he began to smile as he moved my hand and pressed his lips to the palm of it.
The touch invited a warmth that spread through my body. Circuits that carried energy with a pinch of happiness fluttered like little birds flapping their wings and flying through a vast sky. It made me giddy, and I actually let out a tiny giggle. He was smiling brilliantly as he lowered my hand before letting go to remove the rose that laid on his leg.
"My magic really enjoys your energy."
"Not tired of healing me yet?" I whispered.
"Nah." He shook his head. "Never."
"If you're here...does that mean Kyle is too?"
"Who's Kyle?" he quietly inquired.
"My little brother," I shyly admitted. "Is...he here?"
"Where's here, Freebird?" he questioned with a quirk of his lips.
"Heaven?" I wasn't sure, but if he was here and I was here then I somehow was worthy enough to enter paradise. "I'm not sure how Heaven would look."
He softly chuckled and grinned delightfully.
"Well, I can understand why Kyle isn't here," he began as he took a deep inhale and let it out. The soft breeze carried tiny orbs of gold, raining down on the white rose petals that glowed brilliantly until the very petals melted away and morphed into doves that fluttered around us before disappearing in a burst of white light. "This isn't Heaven, Wren."
"It's not?" I pouted my lips while trying not to be disappointed at the idea that we didn't make it. "Purgatory?"
"We're not dead, Wren," he revealed as he reached over to place the single stem into the vase of water. Giving me his full attention, he leaned back into his chair. "We're in the medical house. It's not that big, and, frankly, I don't understand why it's all white. That's sketchy to me, but we're definitely alive."
"I...survived," I whispered and tried to get up. He urged me to stop before assisting me after getting some pillows. I could see why with how sore my back felt, but it was a really nice gesture.
Once he reseated himself, he nodded.
"I'm pretty low on healing magic and Alpha hasn't gotten back yet, so you have to make do with the pain for now. I don't think the scratches along your back will scar, but if they do, I'll figure something out."
"I'm not really in pain," I confessed. "Without movement, I'm okay. Sitting up is a little bit with my back. It's sore...but better than what I experienced."
"Are you okay, Wren?" he inquired, and I shrugged.
"Ya?" To be honest, I wasn't sure. I was trying to comprehend how I'd survived...that.
Yael gently tapped my left hand that rested in my lap, his eyes meeting mine as he whispered, "Wren, are you seriously okay?"
His repeated question was forcing me to acknowledge what occurred, and, frankly, my brain didn't want to delve into the madness of the past.
Yet, it crept right into my mind - slowly, like a predator - ready to bite me when I least expected it.
"Have...you ever felt like your life has been a constant cycle?" I questioned.
He smiled as if he understood exactly what was coming. He nodded his head, and I couldn't help but continue, letting everything out.
"When I was a child, my older brother took advantage of me. My younger brother was kidnapped and killed. My mom disappeared shortly after, and, well, my dad had to go into hiding because my older brother did something wrong. Before I really realized it, I was alone...so I moved from the city down to a small town. I worked and kept to myself, but then I met my boyfriend. I was fascinated by his flirtatious nature, and he gave me the attention that I craved, but it wasn't long before he, too, took advantage. Four years went by, and everyone walked over me: at work, in my own studio apartment. Everywhere I went, someone saw me and thought, 'Wow. This girl is easy prey.' It was something that followed me everywhere, even when my brother and boyfriend decided to kidnap me."
His eyes darkened at the truth, but I closed my eyes and carried on.
"From waking up in the dungeon to finding myself being slashed at, kicked, shoved, and laughed at by women I'd never met or gotten the chance to learn about, I was abused as though my life meant absolutely nothing. Every time I'd be in those situations, I'd beg for Death to take me, but he never did. I managed to live...again and again, but the next instance landed me in a forest."
I lowered my eyes to stare at my hand that Yael held in support.
"A man was there, bigger than any man I've seen, with some person in black who took vials of blood from me. That wasn't what appalled me, honestly. It was the fact that he was fucking some woman, and after he finished the deed, he blew her brains out."
His hand squeezed mine as I fought the lump in my throat, swallowing it down and gathering the courage to finish.
"There was something about this man that lit me up in an odd way, but seeing him with that woman I'd never met...was like a bitch slap to my face. I felt so angry...and jealous, like I'd been dumped, only this man was a stranger in this whole...world. I moved before I could think, and I slapped him."
"You slapped him?" Yael sounded breathless.
I slowly nodded. "I did...and all he could do was smile before he tried to choke me to death. He waited for my reaction, and I almost fell into it because I was afraid to die, even though I've begged for death so many times. Only this time, I was tired of once again falling into that same cycle. That spinning circle of being a victim of circumstance and becoming someone's joke of the day. I gave up on trying, and it angered him...but he did something I wasn't expecting."
Lifting my head, I turned my gaze in Yael's direction and his eyes widened when tears spilled down my cheeks.
"He...rejected me." The words were spoken so softly, but I was sure Yael could feel the weight of them. "A man I just met...rejected me. It's like...a new experience." I couldn't help but laugh, even though the sound wasn't close to anything merry.
"Wren."
"Why should I care if a stranger rejects me?" I tossed out. "They're a stranger. They mean nothing to me. Yet...those words did something to me, Yael."
His eyes expressed his empathy for me, and it only made me smile as more tears escaped my tear ducts.
"It made me feel inadequate...hopeless...lost, but that didn't even trigger me."
I lifted my other hand to my chest and closed my eyes.
"Deep inside me, there was a chained girl. She was a child, one with orange-blue locks like mine and who carried the same blue eyes. I'd vowed to release her from those chains, even though I wasn't sure why she was in them, but there she stood, captive and in shock at those very words. Those words of rejection that were spoken in a sense of relief were like a whip of pain that hit her dead on. Her eyes welled up, growing glassier with every second, and then she began to cry."
Opening my eyes, I once again met those spheres of vibrant gold, only my eyes lost the surface of sadness and were replaced with anger.
"That sound...ruined me. It made me feel like I'd failed...just like how I failed Kyle. I was his big sister. I'd vowed to protect him throughout the years, and yet I woke up one morning after a long night of being abused and crying for salvation...and he was gone. I'd failed him...and now I'd failed this little girl by allowing this stranger to hurt me. I was done keeping all the anger within, so I let it out and screamed."
He continued to give me his full attention like my story truly mattered to him, and I appreciated it because he was the first person to truly give a damn.
"I'm not sure what happened after that, but I was soaring through the air, like something had exploded between us and I was now a falling comet. During that moment, it finally dawned on me that the little girl was me and the chains represented my inability to forgive myself. I couldn't forgive myself for failing my little brother...and that's why whenever something bad happened to me, I didn't bother fighting against it. I was frightened of failing."
My anger began to flee as the sadness returned. I blinked away my tears as I gave him a sad smile. "The cycle that kept going on and on… It kept happening because I was okay with it. I was allowing the cycle to continue because I was comfortable with the idea of being hurt again and again. It didn't matter if it was being forced to please another with my body or if it was as simple as letting go of my tips at the cafe so everyone else benefitted but me. If I accepted that the misery of life enjoyed my company, then I could just keep living without acknowledging what I feared the most: failure."
My lips trembled, and I bit them hard to try to tame the potential sobs begging to escape. I took the moment to try to calm down before I decided to finish.
"I finally knew what I needed to do to be free...so I forgave...myself," I revealed so quietly, I wasn’t sure he even heard me. "I forgave me."
Yael smiled and nodded in approval, even as he shed his own tears from my fable.
"You did good, Wren," he praised.
"I did?"
"Mhmm," he approved and squeezed my hand tightly.
"So...I'm worthy of forgiveness."
"More than worthy," he assured me.
"There's one problem though," I confessed, and I knew he'd listen intently to me. "There was a beautiful white wolf beneath the illusion of my mind. She was gorgeous, with flames dancing off her body...and she had the scar I have. The one...that man who rejected me delivered as punishment. Her eyes were mesmerizing and she so magnificently charming. She endured all the bad with me...without me really realizing she was right there...waiting."
I struggled to say the next words because they meant I had to admit one of my many flaws. But I took a deep breath and allowed myself to say what needed to be told.
"I can't allow myself to fall into that cycle again, Yael...but...I don't know how," I confessed and looked directly into his eyes. "I've always wanted to be a strong woman. To not be so shy...so frail and worthless. I've allowed the world to mold me this way, and I don't know how to change it. Sometimes...I feel like I'm living a double life. Like I'm supposed to be some confident badass, and yet I'm such a shy pushover who's frightened of confrontations. But this new world...this side of the world...I'm oblivious to it...but I can't escape this."
I hoped he was grasping what I was trying to say.
"I don't know what I am, Yael. I don't know...what I've become because of Travis. He bit my neck...before my brother said I wasn't a wolf. You guys use these terms like Alpha and Beta, or at least that's what I heard in the common showers, and it's obvious those men like Wilfred and Derek aren't normal weightlifters. You use magic, such fascinating energy, and well...I know nothing about any of this," I concluded. "I'm in the worst position, Yael, and I just don't want to fuck this chance up because what if it's my last?"
"Wren," he whispered.
"When I was in the burning car, I had so many regrets. If I'm starting over after ending a cycle...I want to be prepared for what's next. I want to get out of this shell...but I'm also scared because if I fall...there wouldn't be anyone to catch me. I don't want to act like a baby who needs a sitter, but I can't do this alone."
"Say no more," he whispered. "I got you, Wren. I can introduce you to our world."
"Wouldn't...that be a burden?"
"Nah." He shook his head. "I always wanted to be some sort of mentor of sorts. It's a long story, but what I do know is that Alpha will help you as well. He's the leader of our pack. The pack you're now officially a part of."
"A pack?" I whispered.
His smile couldn't be more radiant as he nodded and squeezed my hand tightly.
"Welcome to Outcast Hollows Pack, Wren. From now onward, I'm gonna help you discover all about the paranormal world, and together, we'll make sure you never fall into that cycle again."
Outcast Hollows...please prove all of this was worth surviving.