Disorder by J.L. Weil

Chapter Sixteen

Dinner was about to get interesting, especially when I leap across the table and tackle a bitch. No one’s life could be this cruel.

Fury licked through my veins as the room fell into a dark void. Mouths were moving, but I heard nothing but the ringing in my ears as I stared at the viper who just slithered into the house.

Bold red curls hung to frame Ava’s pretty face made up to perfection, except for the scratch she tried to cover up on her cheek. A small amount of satisfaction went through me. Other than the barely visible mark, not an eyelash was out of place. No bruises to hide like mine. The black flared skirt was short enough without being slutty and the forest green sweater accentuated the hue of green in her hazel eyes. Angie would love her. This was her idea daughter. Polished. Put together. Worldly.

Anybody who didn’t know the witch in front of me would think she was the cutest, sweetest thing in the world. The bitch was full-on pretending to be somebody else.

At parties, Ava wore a crop top and shorts cut high enough to leave her butt cheeks showing, or she’d wear a tight top with no bra. And always, always enough makeup to practically hide her actual face. The girl was going all-in to impress the parents.

What the fuck for?

To discredit me?

I didn’t have the brain energy to figure it out, not when I had to use all my wits to keep up with their game.

Ava hung on Carter’s arm, her laugh cutting through my ears like glass, and when those unstable eyes met mine, I stiffened. “Hey, Josie. I’m so sorry about what happened.”

I could take that statement two ways. One, she was actually apologizing for what she had done to me. Or two, she was pretending as if she had nothing to do with it.

I honestly didn’t give a flying fuck which one it was.

Don’t let them see what this is doing to you. Don’t give them the satisfaction of seeing you rattled.

That was the entire point of this. To fuck with me. To show me that she’d won. I was beginning to support Brock’s plan to destroy her wholeheartedly. It was so much simpler to give myself a pep talk in my head than it was to carry through with the charade.

No matter what Ava did, no matter what Carter said, I couldn’t let either of them know how their presence affected me.

“What a surprise.” I offered as natural a smile as I could and forced my legs to move, taking my seat across from Ava and Carter.

She had such nerve showing up here. In the hospital, all I thought about was how I’d exact my revenge. That fire kept me going, and here she was, rubbing her fake-ass tits in my face. Had the police talked to her after the attack?

Steven walked into the room and smiled when his eyes landed on me. “Josie, we are so happy to have you home. Your mother has been beside herself with worry.” He gave my shoulder a light squeeze before moving to kiss my mother on the cheek and sit at the head of the table. Still dressed in his shirt and tie, he unbuttoned his cuffs and rolled up his sleeves. “Carter.” He nodded to his douchebag son. “Hello, Ava. It’s so nice for you to join us. It’s been too long since we’ve seen your pretty face around.”

“Thank you for having me, Mr. Patterson.” Ava smiled wide, flashing pearly white teeth. “Everyone’s been so worried about Josie.”

I flipped her off under the table. Someone should have warned me to take an anti-nausea pill before coming downstairs. If this was how the rest of the night would go, I wouldn’t last two minutes. I wondered what would happen if I blurted out that this was the bitch who jumped in the alley. Would everyone just keep on eating?

“I always thought you and Carter made such a power couple.” His choice of words had me scowling. Did he know what the two of them had schemed? That they were behind the attack?

“She has a boyfriend, Dad.” Carter groaned. “Let’s not make this embarrassing.”

I choked on my glass of water.

“We’re better friends,” Ava added, grinning at me.

“I just bet,” I mumbled, earning a round of frowns from the adults. “You’re a pretty friendly girl.”

“Josephine.” Angie said my name with warning as the first course came out.

“Ava is Elmwood’s head cheerleader,” I explained with a grin so wide my cheeks ached while twirling a piece of hair.

“You are?” Angie squealed, as I knew she would. Angie had been a cheerleader in her day before getting knocked up. How weird to look back at the story I’d heard a million times and realize it was not about me. I was not the little girl who derailed her entire life. Now that I thought about it, why hadn’t the loss of her baby been the answer to all her problems? She hadn’t wanted to be a teenage mom.

While Angie gushed cheer with Ava, I dug out my phone to send out a quick text to Brock. Your girlfriend is here.

Just as I hit send, Angie scolded, “Honey, you know the rules. No cellphones at the table.”

I blinked, slipping the phone back into my pocket just as it buzzed with a new message. “Since when?” I replied.

Carter snorted, forking a bed of lettuce drenched in ranch dressing.

I made a face at him. “How’s the football scouting going, Carter? I heard you missed a big opportunity during detention. Penn State, was it?”

My stepbrother no longer found me funny. “And whose fault was that?”

Blinking innocently, I replied, “You can’t possibly think I had anything to do with it.”

“Maybe not directly, but your boys did,” he snapped.

Angie jumped in before things got ugly, steering the conversation back to a more pleasant topic. “We’re so proud of how Carter is playing this season.” Funny, since she had never been to a game, probably because Carter didn’t want her there. “He will be scouted in no time.” She lifted her glass in salute and helped herself to half its contents.

“We’re proud of him too.” Ava turned her shark smile on to me, and it seemed to broaden just a little. “Everybody at school is rooting for Carter to go pro. Right, Josie?”

I wondered if I could throw my knife hard enough that it would lodge between her eyes. Or maybe in her chest, that might be easier. Though the thought of Ava with a beautifully carved knife handle protruding out from between her eyes made me smile back at her, at least. “Oh, sure. He’s Mr. Popularity.”

Steven topped up Angie’s and his glasses with white wine. “Carter has nothing to worry about. He’s already received several promising offers from schools.”

This was the first I’d heard about them. Then again, I’d been absent for the last few weeks. A lot happened while I was away, except… I didn’t give two shits about any of it—any of them.

“Congratulations.” Ava beamed.

“Have you decided where you will be attending college?” Angie asked Ava.

The two of them launched into a discussion about her top two favorite schools and how she’d already applied. I played with my salad, pushing the cherry tomatoes off to the side.

“What about you, Josie? Have you thought about where you will be applying?” Ava asked smugly.

My head snapped up at the sound of my name. I more or less had checked out of the conversation, but Angie was all too eager to respond for me. “Josephine is going to Hamilton University, isn’t that right, honey? She’s been talking about Hamilton since she was five.”

“That’s the plan,” I said, slapping a forced grin on my face.

Salad plates were cleared away as the staff brought in the main course. “Didn’t you and Ava get into a fight a few weeks ago?” Steven asked. “The same week Carter got detention, wasn’t it?” He looked to Angie for confirmation, as if it just occurred to him. Why would he bring that up?

Ava opened her mouth, but I answered before she had the time to say a word. “It was a misunderstanding. Girl stuff.” I speared a stalk of asparagus and bit off the tip while looking at my stepbrother, who rolled his eyes.

Rage flashed behind her eyes, and she lifted a hand to touch her injured cheek, but she recovered quickly. It made me wonder what she had said to the police. If she denied being a part of the attack.

Angie delicately cut into a piece of chicken. “It’s no secret Josie is having a hard time making friends, which is why I’m so glad to have you over for dinner.”

“Mom!” I gasped, reverting to old habits. I couldn’t keep up the farce. Not with Ava. Not with Angie. Not with Carter. Fuck this. Why was I pretending to like this girl? We were enemies, and I no longer would play her games. “Ava and I are not friends. We’ll never be friends.”

Silence fell upon the table, silverware suspended midway to a mouth or a plate, but I didn’t give two shits. Screw decorum.

I didn’t have any.

Ava dabbed at the corner of her mouth with a cloth napkin. “Do you have something you’d like to say to me?”

I stabbed a potato aggressively with my fork. “I don’t even know where to begin. Let’s start with fuck off.”

“Josephine,” Angie hissed. “I will not allow you to speak to our guest so.”

Carter threw his head back and laughed.

I ignored my mother and the deep scowls from Steven, who seemed to be struggling to keep up with my sudden change in attitude. “You have a lot of nerve showing up here.” I pointed my fork at her, spattering sauce all over the pristine white tablecloth.

Ava’s eyes brightened. “I don’t know what you mean.”

“Don’t play coy with me,” I retorted shortly. “You’re not a dumb blonde, Ava. You’re a cunning redhead.”

She angled her head to the side, regarding me with a tight smile. “What does that make you? A dark-haired witch?”

Finally. The bitch emerged. “Yes. You’re going to wish you never met me,” I said bluntly, meaning every word of the threat.

Angie stood from the table, tossing her napkin onto her barely touched plate. “Josephine, I think it is time you went to your room.”

Fury simmered in my blood. “Gladly.” I shoved out of my seat.

Anger tears shined in Angie’s eyes as she shook her head at me. “We couldn’t have one nice dinner as a family. You just had to ruin this, didn’t you?”

“As you’re so keen on reminding me, it’s what I’m good at.” With that parting statement, I stormed from the room. I’d never been so glad to walk away from a meal.

What a shit show. We never made it to dessert; not that I cared. Was anyone surprised about the outburst? Not at all.

As I climbed the stairs, I remembered the text I had received but never checked. Turned out I had a handful of messages and two missed calls, all from the elusive Brock. Quickening my pace, I slammed my door shut, and since it didn’t lock, I bolted myself inside the bathroom to call him back. He answered on the first ring as if he’d had his phone in his hand, waiting for me. “Why is she there?” his deep voice immediately demanded.

It had only been four days since I last heard his voice, but to my ears, it felt like months. My heart flipped in my chest as I leaned against the bathroom sink. “To gloat. To rub it in that she won.”

“Are you okay?” he growled, and when I didn’t answer immediately, he repeated the question.

I sat on the edge of the tub and bit out, “Like you care.”

“Firefly,” he said, a tad tensely.

I sucked in a deep breath, realizing I didn’t want to fight with him. “I’m fine for now. But I can’t stay here much longer.”

“You don’t have to,” he vowed, saying the exact thing I wanted to hear. “I’ll come get you.”

A chasm of pain, hurt, and longing opened up in my chest. “Don’t bother. Besides, your girlfriend is here. Wouldn’t want her to see you sneaking into my room.” I wanted to ask how his fake relationship with Ava was going, but at the same time, I didn’t want to know. Just thinking about her in his lap, running her nails through his hair, or kissing those soft, skillful lips sent me into a dark place. In my head, I knew Brock wasn’t mine. He was free to date or fake date whomever he wanted. But in my heart, Brock was mine. And only mine. Even after I told myself not to fall for the jerk.

* * *

My first night back in the Pattersons’ house of horrors was nightmarish. I slept like shit. The bed had nothing to do with my restless sleep, as it was literally one of the most comfortable things I’d ever lain in. How could I close my eyes with Carter down the hall able to creep into my room at any time?

The winds howled outside, ramming against the house with enough force to rattle the windows. I jumped up out of bed for the twentieth time, staring into the shadowy room, searching for signs of movement or eyes glowing in the corners. Storms didn’t bother me. I rather liked them. It was the shadows that lurked inside that concerned me.

The floor outside my bedroom door creaked, and my head whirled in that direction, intently watching the door handle to see if it moved. It was difficult to tell, given I was sleep deprived, and the shadows were dancing and laughing at me.

On a frustrated groan, I flung back onto the mattress, head hitting the pillow with a soft thump. I gave up on sleep after that. What was the point in trying to force my body to do something it refused to do?

I watched the sunrise from the floor where I sat by the doors that led out to the balcony. Such a beautiful sight; the sky glowed a watercolor of deep reds, pinks, and purples. I skipped breakfast. Shelly, one of the staff, brought me a carafe of hot coffee, and I thanked her profusely. I did my best to ignore the looks I got from the staff, the glimmers of pity or expressions of worry. They never came out and asked about my injuries, but I could see they were curious. How could I blame them? They worked in this household. God fucking knew the shit they saw.

I was sipping my third cup of coffee when the house phone on my desk rang. I stared at it, debating whether to ignore whoever was on the other end. Since mainly only the house staff used this line, I hit the speaker button. “Hello.”

“Ms. James, you have a friend to see you,” Shelly said from the other end of the line, her kind voice echoing through my room.

My brows drew together. “A friend?” I echoed doubtfully.

“Yes, a Ms. Clarke is here to see you,” she explained, a hint of excitement brimming in her tone, like she knew how much I needed a friend right now.

OMG. Mads! “I’ll be right there,” I said, quickly disconnecting and rushing out of the room. Too much time had gone by since I’d seen her. We talked and texted, but it wasn’t the same as hanging out in person.

As I approached the first floor, tendrils of excitement burst inside me. I missed her so much, her no-bullshit attitude. Her ability to make me feel like I belonged. Her friendship, and keeping me sane.

My lips grew into a broad grin as I caught sight of her hovering near the door. Her jaw worked tiredly over a piece of gum as she turned in my direction at my approach, lips splitting into a smile.

“You’re really here,” I shrieked, giving her a tight hug.

She squeezed me back, smelling faintly of smoke and mint that mixed with her shampoo. Her long hair was straight and sleek, honey highlights gleaming from the sun streaming through the glass windows that framed the door. “They kept me away long enough.”

“They don’t know you’re here, do they?” I guessed, knowing Grayson wouldn’t want her anywhere near this house.

She shrugged, her mouth still curved upward. “What they don’t know what hurt them.”

“God, I love you, bish.” I grabbed her by the hand and pulled her upstairs to my room before she disappeared on me. I was hungry for company, to not be alone in this hellhole, even if it was just for an hour. “I can’t believe you’re here.”

Her eyes scanned over my face, taking note of the bruises, the split lip, and the cut at my temple. “Oh girl, shit. Look what they did to you.”

“You should have seen me a few days ago. This is nothing. An improvement.” It was a sad attempt to make light of my injuries, but I didn’t want Mads’s pity.

Heat flared in silver eyes. “That fucking bitch. I’m gonna cut out her black heart.”

“That seems to be the consensus going around.” My gaze dropped to the floor as I thought about dinner last night and how good it had felt to come unhinged.

She dropped a pile of papers on my desk. “The gall of that bitch. She just made an enemy out of the Elite. Biggest mistake of her miserable life.”

“You shouldn’t be here. It’s not safe.”

She touched my shoulder, drawing my eyes back up. “Probably not, but I had to see you. Besides, with your mom and Carter’s dad here, I doubt he will try anything.”

“I’m sorry about the car.” I had already apologized for her car being stranded at Tommy’s but I felt the need to say it again.

Like before, she replied, “I don’t give a shit about the car. Besides, Grayson and Brock brought it back before my parents even knew it was missing.” Mads sank onto my bed, legs dangling over the edge as she kicked off her shoes. “How are you doing? Really. Don’t bullshit a bullshitter.”

I plopped down on the other side. “Like a caged tiger, clawing, hissing, and scratching to get out of here. She took the lock off my bedroom door. Who the fuck does that?”

She grimaced. “Harsh. And really frightening.”

“Tell me about it.”

“Does Brock know about the lock?” she asked.

“Brock is too busy shoving his tongue down Ava’s throat and fingering her,” I grumbled, salty as fuck.

“That is not true,” she retorted, her delivery half-assed. Even she didn’t believe it.

My brows inched up. “Which part?”

“Well, all of it… mostly.”

I heaved a long sigh and dropped down onto the bed. “I don’t know whether to thank him for distracting Ava with his dick or fucking scream my lungs off.”

Pulling both her legs up and weaving them like a pretzel, a glint came into her eyes. “Why choose? I’d go with both. I find screaming to be a huge stress reliever.”

The corner of my lips twitched. Leave it to Mads to make a joke of this messed up situation.

“He misses you,” she added.

A sarcastic snort blew from my nose.

“I mean it,” Mads emphasized.

“Does it matter?” My words came out flat.

“Maybe not, but it’s clear you’re ridiculously jealous. You care about him, even after I warned you.”

She had warned me. The first day we met. God, that seemed like a lifetime ago rather than just merely months. “What about you and Micah?” I countered, turning the tables around on her. I was done being in the spotlight.

Our gazes met, and I swore I saw something like amusement flicker through them. “There is no Micah and me.”

I pressed my lips together, the smile I tried to hide peeking through. “I see the way you’ve been dancing around each other. The way you look at him.”

She rolled her eyes, fidgeting on the bed. “You need glasses. And I need a cigarette.”

“What are those?” I asked, indicating to the stack of pamphlets she had set on my desk.

Her gaze followed mine, landing on the papers. “College applications. I thought they’d be a good excuse to see you if I needed one and they might help get your mind off, you know…”

“Getting the living shit beat out of me,” I supplied.

“Does it hurt? Because it looks like it hurts like hell.”

My mind flashed back to that alley. “Not so much anymore, but yeah, it fucking hurt.”

She shimmed off the bed and went to the desk, gathering the pamphlets. “If it makes you feel better, the whorish trio skipped school the day after. Heard the cops had a nice chat with the three of them. You got a few good swings in. Izzy had a black eye that no amount of makeup could disguise.”

I lifted my hand in the air, pinching my thumb and index finger close so only an inch of space separated between them. “Yeah, it makes me feel a little better.”

“So, college?” she prompted, dropping the stack on top of the bed in front of me, resuming her spot on the other side.

I grabbed one of the flyers. “I missed a few days of school, and everyone seems so college focused suddenly.”

“They had a college fair on Thursday,” Mads explained. “More or less kicked our asses into gear, realizing how close our deadlines are.”

“Oh, great. I missed it. Just another thing I can blame Ava for. That skank is damn determined to ruin my life.”

“Only if you let her. And besides, you have me. I brought you a packet from like every school there.” Her jaw worked tirelessly over a piece of gum.

I thumbed through the information on the University of Westly. “Thanks, Mads. You really are the best. I don’t know what I would have done this year without you.”

She picked up the next pamphlet and held it up. “Where should we start? Dupage College?”

“You don’t have to do this.”

She shrugged. “I’ve got nothing better to do, and I miss my best friend.”

“It’s been like five days.”

“Exactly. So, which school first?”

“None,” I muttered, dropping the flyer back onto the pile. “I’m still hoping to get a scholarship, otherwise I’m not sure college is an option. I won’t take a dime from Angie, for obvious reasons. My dad doesn’t have the money, and then there is the little tidbit that neither of them are my biological parents.”

Mads eyes softened. “Perhaps it is time the truth came out.”

There was nothing I wanted more, but it was the after that worried me—the unknown. “Where would I go then? Back to Brock’s? I can’t stay there forever. Besides, his parents came home this week. I doubt they are looking for an orphan to put up.”

“You could stay with me,” she offered graciously. “My mom would love to have you, cuz.”

A pure grin crossed my lips, not even the tightness from the cut could stop it. “Holy shit. I keep forgetting. We’re fucking related.”

Mads smiled. “Hell yes, we are. Seriously, come stay with me. Get out of here.”

The offer was damn tempting. I’d met her parents, who I absolutely loved, even before I realized they were my aunt and uncle. Mads also had another brother, Jason, who I hadn’t met yet. I had fucking cousins—a family that I could bring into my mess. “And have the cops show up at your house? I can’t do that or put you in danger. Shit, Carter might try to burn down your house next.”

Her gaze shifted to the closed door, twinkles of unease and specks of silver flames mixed in her eyes. “Has he said anything to you?”

I twisted the ends of my hair. “Not, yet. But he is going to want his information on the USB drive.”

She set down the paper in her hand, her eyes turning serious. “If he wanted it bad enough, he should have put a leash on his pet. She fucked up when she took you out of Brock’s house.”

I blew out a breath. “I can’t figure out if that was something they planned together or if Ava went rogue.”

“Jealousy is a powerful tool,” Mads mused.

“Ugh, I don’t want to talk about the losers anymore. It’s giving me PTSD.” The next thing I knew, we were laughing, and God, did it feel good to let loose, release all the tension built up over the last twenty-four hours in my muscles. There was nothing funny in what I said. It was sad but true. Maybe Mads just knew how much I needed a friend and all the benefits that came with it, like laughing for no reason.

“What about you? Did you send in any applications yet?” I asked. Dwelling on my pathetic situation would not make me feel better. I didn’t want to spend my time with Mads depressed and feeling sorry for myself. I could do that when I was alone.

All this talk of college had my thoughts turning to Ainsley. Our plan to go to school together seemed like a dream. A million years ago instead of just months. How sad. My future was sinking before my eyes. I had no choice but to sink or swim, and I was quickly drowning.

Mads picked at her black nail polish. “Yeah, I sent out a lot of applications, actually, to a bunch of schools. I don’t where I want to go and figured I’d pick one from whoever offers an acceptance.”

“Solid plan. You don’t sound excited. Aren’t you looking forward to college?”

“It just so much has changed over the last year. I know you can relate to that. Nothing is how I thought it would be.”

“It’s like you read my mind.” I’d fallen so far behind without even realizing it. Sometimes, it felt like I was forgetting myself, forgetting who I was.

I was really winning at life.