Her Darkest Devils by Ginna Moran
Chapter 20
ZADE
Demonic Bonds
LAUGHTER FILLS THE air, the glow of fire illuminating the patio of the devil’s estate. It looks as if they’re having some sort of gathering, but only among themselves with Raven. She claps her hands and squeals, letting Dante spin her around and into Micah’s arms. I drink in the sight of her brilliant soul, the chains of Hell barely visible. Something has shifted, and I can feel it deep in my essence. I’m nearly entranced by Raven’s swaying hips, how her dark hair sweeps with her sensual movements, and how everyone, including me and Cassius beside me, watches her shine like the star Lucian was intended to be.
“Is it possible for a mortal to steal angelic light even after they’ve abandoned it long ago?” I ask, keeping my voice low. I swing my legs, feeling anxious in my spot on the wall surrounding the property. “Doesn’t Raven remind you of—”
“Blasphemy. Utter, despicable, blasphemy. I don’t understand.” Cassius cuts off my question with his complaint, but he’s not talking to me. He closes his eyes and summons access to Heaven, lighting his palms aglow. “Why didn’t it work? I gave Lucian what he wanted. He could’ve done as I asked and thought of the world for once.”
I fold my hands in my lap and shrug without verbally responding. Cassius is far too upset to think outside of what he believes is his failure. He was so certain that Lucifer would bring Elias to us that he even managed to get the guardians to fall back already. He had used his knowledge of Lucifer to convince them that he had it under control.
Now, he’s at a loss. I can feel his emotions radiating from him as if they’re my own. Instead of trying to encourage him to keep pushing on, I decide to drape my arm over his shoulders. Sometimes, he just needs to feel I’m here and know I won’t abandon him or grace. He’s always felt responsible for Lucifer’s undoing the same way I feel like there should’ve been more I could’ve done for Andre. Maybe if I hadn’t let him make his own decisions and kept reminding him that there is a bigger purpose outside of one soul. Maybe I could’ve gotten more involved and helped him guide her away from Hell instead of letting him follow her down. I... There is no point in holding onto the negativity that burns my chest. It’s too late. All I can do is continue to follow the light of the Higher Power.
Cassius groans and shoots his heavenly light away, letting it fade on the grass below. “Something must be done. Lucifer cannot lose himself in Raven’s light. We’re doomed otherwise.”
“Cass,” I say, squeezing him. “Don’t think like that. Have faith. Hell cannot rise like they intend unless Seven Sinners take their thrones with Raven and Lucian. I’m not going anywhere, and neither are you.”
“Hell doesn’t need us to put Heaven at risk, Zade. Look at the damage it has already caused.” Throwing his arms out, Cassius motions to something invisible I can’t see. “The guardians have followed new paths, leaving many, many souls unprotected. The legions of Hell will start to notice. They will ruin everything.”
“Give humanity credit.” I frown at his words, watching him drop down to his feet. “The Higher Power does.”
“And look what happened because of it. Because of Lucifer. I need to fix this. It is my purpose. Now stay here and call me if they leave.” Without waiting for me to respond, Cassius launches into the air and disappears into the night like a shooting star heading toward the atmosphere.
I bow my head and clasp my hands together. Please give Cassius the strength and the hope he needs. My prayer hums through my body, igniting me aglow, and I savor the connection to home.
Another melody of laughter trickles through the air, and I watch Raven grab Kase’s tail and draw him to her. He scoops her up into his arms and kisses her, blindly heading toward the back door where Elias holds it open. Dante smacks Kase’s behind, getting him to move, and the other devils shove each other and play-fight, fooling around until Raven shouts that the last one to the couch has to act like a footstool for her as she catches up on her show with Elias.
The roars and growls mixed with swears and chuckles draw me from my spot on the branch. I know I shouldn’t abandon my place at this safe distance, but it’s like Raven’s soul pulls me to her like a magnet. Seeing her interact with the devils and how they treat her like a lover and plaything, and also the most important being in the universe...I must find out why. I’ve kissed her lips and felt her soul. She opens something deep and new inside me, but a part of it scares me. I can’t comprehend just giving up my eternity for another moment of her time.
Yet here I am, strolling across the lawn to peek through the window of the entertainment room where Lucian rests on his hands and knees, glowering in humiliation as Raven stayed true to her word and props her bare feet on his shirtless back.
“You shouldn’t be here, Zade.” Andre’s deep voice rumbles behind me. My heart sinks into my stomach, his familiarity cracking open my essence, spilling out the wave of hurt I’ve done my best to suppress.
“Neither should you,” I say, keeping my back toward him. If I turn and face him, I’ll have to see him for the devil Hell made him. If I keep my eyes on the window and Raven, I can pretend a moment longer that he’s still my angelic companion. “I’m merely keeping an eye out and ensuring Lucifer doesn’t destroy the world. Someone must do it now that you’ve lost sight.”
Cruel? Perhaps. But I’ve been silent for far too long.
“Don’t you ever regret it? You can’t be happy with the eternity you’ve chosen. Look how the other devils relish in the light of Raven’s soul while you remain tethered and bound like Lucifer himself.” I clench my fingers into fists, the heat of Andre’s fire warming up my wings. If he could stroll through the ring of hellfire caging him, he would. I imagine he’d do more than chastise me. He’d try to blaze my wings and make them look like his. Dark, evil, and as far from light as possible.
“The only thing I regret is not claiming my throne sooner.” Andre’s firelight sets the house aglow. It’s a wonder that none of the other devils come looking. “You think I need pity, but really, I’m the one who pities you. You fight a losing battle. You choose a force that doesn’t even acknowledge anything you accomplish, always silent and judging. Never showing anything other than light. We create our own light and kingdoms, Zade. Our purpose is far better than watching humanity fuck up over and over again. And with Raven? You have no idea what’s to come. I won’t be tethered here forever. I’ll get my time on Earth.”
I try so hard not to react but the darkness of his comment stabs me right in the gut. He should regret abandoning grace and leaving me. I know somewhere inside him the capability to see it is there. I just need to remind him. I need to show him that he’s lost and confused. He has no idea what he’s talking about and in the end, his mortal desire and lust isn’t worth it.
Gathering heavenly light in my hands, I scowl and fly forward, risking the ring of hellfire to launch at Andre. He expects me and opens his arms wide. I chuck my power at him, hitting him in the chest and sending smoke wafting through the air. His back hits the barrier, not letting us slide out of the summoning circle, and I land on top of him, straddling his waist.
“How does it feel being so close to me?” Andre asks, his touch alone doing strange things to my body.
With one breath of the air in his space, my body buzzes.
With two? My pants tighten with my lust, and I jerk back and clutch my erection through my pants, the sensation of my hand alone zinging me with pain and pleasure and an undeniable need to rub myself in prayer, hoping my body returns to normal instead of threatening to bust through my clothes.
“You love it, don’t you? The pleasure? Imagine what comes with it if you just accept where your place should be.” Andre pushes from the ground, his form rippling with the movements. “Imagine what it could be like with Raven. You think you know what Heaven is supposed to feel like but what we’ve known is truly a false deity. The divine lingers between her legs. In her mouth. Everywhere on her body. Just one taste and you’ll be on your knees, Zade. You’ll be begging for her affection and love more so than you ever thought possible.”
I fall on my back and lie frozen with Andre towering over me. He expands his leathery black wings and smiles, his handsome face lighting up with the fire in his eyes. I suck in a few breaths, trying to push away my lust and desire. I’m so unused to these things that it makes me question whether or not Andre speaks the truth. That maybe I’ve been misguided all along.
I shake my head, forcing the strange thoughts from my mind. No. That’s Hell talking and trying to lure me into its dark and fiery depths.
“Maybe if I showed you something Raven might be willing to share with you...if you’re brave enough. I haven’t forgotten our former companionship. I see things clearer. Hotter. You would make a good pool of pleasure for Raven and I. We’d love to explore you.” Andre’s eyes close into half-slits, heavy with his fantasy about...
I clutch myself and squeeze my backside together, the thought both thrilling and exciting.
And completely and utterly impossible.
“Isn’t that right, little hellion?” Andre asks, his voice turning from dark and dangerous to light and teasing. “Don’t you think Zade would have a great time with us? Perhaps in the middle?”
Raven’s soft intake of breath draws my attention to her and away from the throbbing pulse shuddering through my groin. I never even felt such desperation in the Kingdom of Lust when I traveled through Hell with Raven. But something about Andre and Raven’s closeness, his words, her quick breathing and the soft moan...I nearly give in.
“I—No. I must go.” I scramble to my feet and attempt to run out of the summoning circle before Andre tries to capture me and pressure me into something I still struggle to grasp.
Grabbing my leg, he yanks my feet out from under me and I stumble forward, crashing into Raven. We both fall to the ground together with me on top and her legs open and hooked around me. I drop my gaze to her naked body, exposed with her shirt rolled up.
I moan at the heat of her seeping into me and roll off her, but she doesn’t let me go. She matches my movements, getting on top of me, and I gasp and squeeze my eyes shut at the sight of her beautiful body bare and open, her light dimmed by Andre so that I find myself yearning to stare at her.
Raven’s gentle hands touch my chest. “Zade, open your eyes. You don’t have to be ashamed of looking at me. It’s just a body, remember? I find it far more intimate when you prod at my soul.”
It takes everything in me to open my eyes and glance into her smiling face. She slides a bit closer until her hair veils the world around me, blocking Andre. I blow a breath at the sudden quiet of the world and how Andre doesn’t try to push me into a lust-filled haze. I honestly don’t think it would be a push in this moment. I’d willingly give in as long as Raven keeps smiling at me like this. As long as she tames Andre’s wild side and helps remind me of him as an angel. Because I miss him as my companion. I miss talking to him and just being in his company. The devil version of him runs hot and cold and everything in between, and I just—I don’t know. I can’t. I won’t. I don’t see the worth in changing my eternity like he has.
“Zade, I just wanted to say thank you for trying your best to bring Elias back to me. I know the task was difficult.” Raven touches my blond hair, twisting the strands in her fingers. Her gentle touch does nothing for the unfortunate state of my body, and I can’t help imagining what it would feel like if she sits on me while I’m naked too. Is Andre right about the feeling? Could a connection with her body truly compare to Heaven?
“You should give him a little reward, little hellion,” Andre murmurs, breaking the heavy silence. “Maybe a little kiss. Tease him. Show him what he’s missing.”
Raven glides her tongue over her bottom lip, drawing my attention to her mouth. “I do love kissing you, Zade. I think it’s the perfect way to show my thanks, especially because you helped us prepare for the attack by the guardians.”
“You like kissing me?” The question sounds breathy coming from my mouth. I never thought I’d want such a confirmation. She’s the only one I’ve kissed, and it felt so sinfully intoxicating yet also heavenly. Nothing about kissing Raven could ever be bad or wrong.
Her smile widens and she hums her agreement. “I do. Can I kiss you now?”
I don’t respond with my voice and instead arch up and pull her close, clutching her cheeks in my hands to guide her mouth to mine. She releases a small breath of a laugh and slides her arms around my neck, risking burning herself on my feathers but teasing me anyway as she maps out the muscles of my shoulders. Her warm lips caress mine lightly at first, testing and teasing me, sending an even greater ache to my pelvis. I drag my hand down her back and pull her into me, feeling the smooth skin of her butt cheeks.
“You taste amazing,” I murmur, easing back only to have her nip my bottom lip between her teeth and tug me close again.
Her desire ignites a passion in my soul, lighting the two of us ablaze, and I glide my tongue into her mouth and kiss her deeper, harder, and with everything incredible in my soul. The weight of her body rubs against my excitement, and she rocks her hips harder, grinding on me like she wants and needs more. I want it too. I want to give her whatever it is she needs from me. Perhaps our affection wasn’t intended to be my undoing. Maybe this is how I bring her back into good grace and away from Hell. This could be why I’m drawn to her.
“You’re so hard,” she whispers, reaching between us.
“For you,” I murmur, breaking away from her mouth and licking her throat.
Andre’s wide smile smacks sense into me, his devil form peeking through as he drinks in breath after breath of our lust. His power is getting to me and twisting my desire for Raven into something dangerous. Something I worry that will leave her broken. She could like me as an angel and show me this attention because our light attracts one another’s. Nothing is certain until I can unhook Andre’s claws from her and have time to see her without his fire shining so brightly with ours.
“Zade? Zade, what’s the matter?” Raven frowns, her breath panting. “Why have you stopped?”
I swallow the burning in my throat. “I...I can’t do this to you. You’re far too beautiful and pure.”
Her mouth twists to the side and she continues to clutch me, hanging on for dear life. If I wasn’t afraid to fly away with her, I would. But I know she hates that. She fears Heaven’s warriors—her worry valid and warranted. The guardians won’t stop. Cassius won’t either. The thought of such a brilliant, hypnotic light getting snuffed out hurts me deeply.
“Me, pure?” Raven’s face brightens with her amusement. “I’ve probably sullied your virgin, sweet angel baby existence by just sharing a breath.”
I might not have the mortal experience of a physical relationship, but I know what one could lead to. I already find myself drawn to Raven. I don’t know if it’s because Andre has a claim on her or if she’s just dug into my light and I can’t imagine a life without her in this realm. Whatever it is, I know that I can’t in good faith give in to Hell. There is no place or throne for me in Hell.
“Raven,” I say softly, petting her hair away from her shoulder. “The condition of my mortal form does not contribute to what I mean. I’m—I’m worried about other things.”
I can’t bring myself to admit why I carry such reluctance apart from knowing that my path is intended to remain in the light of the Higher Power.
“Like what? You’re a tough, buff, intimidating savior. What are you worried about?” She presses her lips together, keeping her stare locked on mine. “Maybe I can help ease your worry.”
It’s my turn to chuckle. “It’s not your job to take on such burdens. They are for only me to bear.”
Andre growls from behind Raven, stealing my attention from her. “If you dare reject my beautiful hellion because of some mundane bullshit, you better get your ass out of here. I’ll not let you steal an ounce of her light with upsetting words. You were only welcome here because Raven desires you.”
I huff a breath. I should go. I really should. But Raven’s soft kiss to my jawline begs me to stay. So I hug her a moment longer, basking in just her presence as she gathers the thoughts on her mind to speak them aloud.
“Don’t let the big dick get you down, Zade. I know you don’t want to reject me,” Raven murmurs, brushing her lips to my ear. “But I want to know, why? Why are you resisting something that will be so perfect and powerful between us? Your companion is here and would enjoy having you around. I don’t even think he thinks you’re rejecting me. I think he feels it.”
I close my eyes and droop my shoulders. “I still care very much for Andre. It pains me in the depths of my being not being able to turn to him whenever I need him...but this life?”
“It’s not evil like you think, Zade. It’s only different. The devils want a way to help humanity as a whole. I mean, look at me. Look at how quickly the Higher Power forced you to reject me. Look how Andre had to abandon grace to save my life. How Micah only wanted to save my soul. Those aren’t acts that should damn someone, but here they are. You have to see what I see, Zade. Andre wasn’t a bad angel. If anything, he was better. Braver.” Raven tickles my ear with her breath. “I need you to help me understand why. Why fight for something so unfair? Why not take your eternity into your own hands and do something that feels good and right, even if it’s unholy?”
Her words stab into me, tightening my chest. A part of me wants to deny the truth she speaks. If I do, I’d just be lying to myself.
“I—I can’t answer your questions, Raven. I’m sorry.” Sliding her off me, I set her gently on the ground. “I need to leave. Please be careful. I think something dangerous is heading your way.”
Raven tries to snatch my leg, but I stumble out of her reach and flap my wings, propelling myself into the air. I soar higher and higher, losing myself to the night and the beauty of the world around me until the midnight sky shifts to azure, and I land on a sparkling, rainbow prism-like pathway leading into my home away from home.
Soft murmurs sound through the tranquil air, the beautiful hum of a melody from long ago strummed on strings of the most precious lines of creativity from some of history’s most talented souls. I stride into my sanctuary and slow, inwardly groaning at the intrusion when I’ve come here to find tranquility. My emotions run far too hot and wild, and I just wanted some peace.
“You ignored my first call, Zade,” Cassius says, tightening his jaw. “Is something the matter?”
I shake my head a little too furiously and slump into a seat made of light and ethereal stone but feels like the sky engulfing me in the lightest clouds. I didn’t ignore his call. I never heard it. My ears still ring with Raven’s laugher. Her breathless moans. I can’t get her out of my mind even with Cassius penetrating me with a nearly painful gaze.
“Nothing is the matter. I’m sorry if I wanted to make sure the devils weren’t causing havoc.” I cringe at the snap of my voice.
“We won’t have to worry about them much longer.” Mikail’s voice strikes me like lightning, and I straighten my back to peer at him. I nearly tuned him out with my arrival, my disconnection to the grace of light taking a bigger toll on me than I had realized.
Cassius plops onto the seat beside me and bumps me with his shoulder. “The time has come, Zade. The devils are far beyond reason. It’s time we take them down by force.”
I blink a few times, the strange feeling of danger hitting me sharply in the gut. How could I have known to warn Raven? I just hope she heeds my warning and doesn’t put all of her faith in the devils.
Because with Cassius’s words, I hear the thundering sound of Heaven’s army gathering. I sense the static of heavenly power crackling in the air.
“It’s time for war, Zade. The devils must be sent to Hell. It must be done. The portals to the Mortal Realms will finally be sealed off and guarded how they always should’ve been. Our universe depends on it.” Cassius stands and unsheathes his dagger. “I’m going to need you by my side. Can I depend on you?”
Does he know? Does he feel my hesitation?
I open my mouth to convince him that there has to be another way, but the sound of Heaven’s army turns deafening. It turns all-consuming and unavoidable. This isn’t just a war. It could be the end. Whether it’s Heaven or Hell? I pray for neither. I pray for the Higher Power to shine a new light over us, to guide our way.
“Zade? Are you with me?” Cassius repeats. “I can’t do this without you.”
I clench my fingers into fists and dip my chin in agreement. “I’m always with you.”
Cassius flaps his wings, launching up, breaking through the ethereal ceiling created out of pure light. Standing in my spot, I look up at his silhouette in the shining world.
Dear God, please have mercy on all of us.
Please have mercy on my fallen brethren’s and Raven’s soul.
