Her Darkest Devils by Ginna Moran
Chapter 18
MICAH
Voice of Reason
ELIAS PARKS THE black Maserati along the curb instead of pulling into the drive leading toward the eight car garage. His hands shake as he clutches the wheel, and I nearly didn’t allow him to drive. But it was on his list of things to do before he succumbs to his cancer. Which will happen soon. I can see it in his soul. Hear it in his heart and lungs. My once-angelic companion and now mortal friend will soon join us by taking his throne in Hell.
Unfortunately, Elias can’t see things the same way I can. He’s fallen into a mortal cycle that has stolen the knowledge he once had, and now he carries fear in his mind. Death has been a part of living beings life cycles since creation. Yet despite knowing what happens after his final breath, he can’t grasp things completely. I just hope I can help him the same as I would’ve as an angel. I’m not sure I’m capable of such things any longer. I can barely control the vile darkness tainting my essence with Raven.
“Are you sure we should be here?” Elias asks after a quiet moment. “Maybe we should stay away a bit longer. I’m feeling fi—” His coughing fit gives away his lie, and he rests his head on the steering wheel.
I reach over and rub my hand over his back, unsure of what to do. “Dante said it was pointless. Lucian knows we have you.”
Elias groans and clutches his chest, his pain obvious on his scrunched features. “I hope the bastard stays the fuck away. I don’t trust him.”
“Then trust me. I made Raven a promise to protect you. I will not let either of you down. Why don’t you stay in my room? I can take the floor. We can share my time with Raven.” I fidget in my seat, messing with the hem of my shirt. “I don’t want you two worrying about anything you don’t have to.”
Elias cranes his neck, meeting my gaze. “Damn. I’m dying soon, aren’t I? Give it to me straight. You’re acting like a damn angel because of it.”
I sigh and lean back in the seat. “Not even I can tell you when for certain, but yes. I think things are wearing on your mortal body and the light that you carry wants to free itself. If you’d—”
“Raven, don’t walk away from me!” Lucian’s holler rumbles through the crack in the window.
Flinging my door open, I rush from the vehicle, missing whatever Raven says to Lucian. He roars and explodes into his true body, charging forward in an attempt to grab her. Raven flips him off and slams the front door in his face. He tries to chase her inside, but Kase materializes in the doorway, blocking his path. They threaten each other in silence, Kase blindly daring Lucian to do something.
Annoyance rushes through me as he stomps closer to the mansion and where Raven wants to only find reprieve from his intolerable behavior.
“Lucian! Lucian, face me! You will leave Raven alone!” I summon my hellish nature and erupt into my devil form. “Face me!”
Kase smirks and closes the door, not bothering to get involved, letting me handle it. I don’t know what happened between Lucian and Raven, but she obviously doesn’t want to be bothered by him.
Snarling, Lucian jerks around and swings his fire chain, trying to lash it at me to keep me back. All he does is push me to move forward. I wasn’t afraid of him when I was an angel and I’m far from fearful now. He thinks he’s above us but now without his tether to Hell, he’s on equal ground. But I have something he doesn’t. I have the need to protect Raven and her beautiful soul. I haven’t gone through everything I have, risked losing her light and affection to ensure I could care for her, or make the decision to be the best devil I can for nothing.
“Stay the fuck out of it and go back to your useless, dying boyfriend, Micah. Leave Raven for those who know how to control her.” Lucian whips his chain in my direction again.
I summon a sword, one glowing with my Hell power, from the depths of my kingdom and swing it. It cracks against Lucian’s whip, sending his chain toward him. The second he spins to regain control of it, I catapult from the ground and slam into him with my weight. In my devil form, I’m taller and broader. He might have horns, but I have tusks, and I will gut him.
I impale the ground on each side of his head, caging him down. He roars and fights beneath me, trying to flip me off his back but it’s no use. We’re matched in power and he struck a nerve deep within me. Seeing him chase after Raven and then trying to tell me to stay out of their fight set me off. He doesn’t have the right to tell me such things. He doesn’t have a mutual claim on Raven like I do. Her fight with him is my fight, and I won’t tolerate it anymore. I only complied to appease him and to keep my name on her contract. That no longer matters. Elias proved his love and loyalty not only as Raven’s soulmate but also as a devil by managing to end the contract with his death. He outsmarted Lucian and Cassius—all of Heaven and Hell for that matter—and I will ensure things continue to go Raven’s way and that her freewill will no longer be compromised by forces that think they’re as mighty as the Higher Power or more so.
“Tell me what you’ve done, Lucian,” I growl, pressing into him with my weight. “Raven has been trying to give you a chance, so if you have ruined it, you will face the consequences.”
“It’s none of your fucking business. This is your last chance to control yourself or you will regret trying to overpower me. I’m not fighting at my full power.” Lucian vibrates with a deep rumble of annoyance, humming from his core. He’s lying and we both know it.
“It is my business as one of Raven’s kings. I will protect her and do anything on her behalf, including dragging you back to your kingdom and figuring out how to keep you there.” I blow out a breath of hellfire, singeing the concrete around his head in a cloud of black residue. “I have tried my best to help you make amends and have encouraged her to give you a chance. All you’ve done is waste my efforts.”
“I never asked for your help, you wannabe angelic bastard.” Lucian breaks his arm free of my restraint and jabs a blade into my side, sending pain exploding through me.
I roar and rip my tusks free from the ground. Lucian doesn’t have the chance to move, roll, or even speak a word as I stomp my hooved hand into his back. He howls in pain, his bones cracking under my force. I swing my arm and turn him over, towering over his wretched form. His black eyes smolder with lava-like light, and I punch him in the face, yearning to see the power fade from his expression completely.
“You will learn your new place!” I shout, swinging my hoof and clobbering him again. “You will accept that Hell will change and grow. You are no longer in complete control. You gave up your incomparable power the moment you handed over the tether to Andre. You will obey our agreement. I will ensure it even if it means taking control and giving up my time here.”
“You wouldn’t.” Lucian heaves a breath, no longer fighting me. We both know that I’m right. He can act like he’s the epitome of Hell power, but the Mortal Realm has in fact weakened him.
“I already plan to. Elias will need my guidance in taking his throne. His descent into power to help Raven rise to her rightful place is all that matters.” I summon a sword once again. He will feel the truth of my words.
Lucian clenches his jaw, his body rippling with his fury. In this moment, I feel his fire burning out. He’s officially realized the consequences of letting his desire to join the Mortal Realm consume him. Without the tether to Hell, he will face the same punishment he dished out before weaseling his way here.
And I can’t wait to hear him scream and beg for mercy.
Pushing up, I stand tall and aim my fiery sword at his chest. He won’t die but he will suffer.
“Micah? Hey, man.” Elias’s voice cuts through the fury pounding in my skull. “Put the sword down. This isn’t what Raven would want. Don’t resort to his level. It’s not worth it.”
I whip my head in Elias’s direction. “You out of everyone should want Lucian to face punishment for his actions. He stole so much time from the remainder of your mortal life.”
Elias steps closer, keeping his hands up in surrender. His eyes flick from me to Lucian, and he remains expressionless under the weight of Lucian’s glower. Reaching up, Elias rests his hand on my elbow, his height as a mortal short in comparison to my devil form. I close my eyes for a second under his touch, the gesture reminding me of our lives together as angels and how strong our companionship used to be.
“My mortal life isn’t important. I’m breaking the cycle I’ve put Raven and me in, and when I do, the only thing that’s going to matter is the rest of eternity. Just let the fuckhead go and be his miserable self. He creates his own torture fine on his own.” Elias grins with his words. “Let us reap the benefits. Enjoy Raven in a way he can’t. She’s probably waiting inside. Let’s not waste another moment on this asshole.”
He’s right.
Releasing a breath, I move off Lucian and kick him in the side, sending him rolling a dozen times with the force of my strength. I shift back into my human form and let Elias grab my elbow and pull me toward the door, not waiting to see what Lucian does. Either he finally gets my point or decides to wait until he gets a chance to sneak-attack me—whatever it is, he doesn’t retaliate.
I close the front door and stand with Elias in the foyer. Silence greets us, which means Kase didn’t immediately take Raven to his room.
“Thanks, Elias,” I murmur, needing for him to know that his interference didn’t piss me off. “You’re absolutely right about Lucian. I just—I cannot grasp why he is the way he is.”
Elias presses his lips together, a frown turning him broodingly handsome—more devil than angel and far from mortal. His expression reminds me of the last moments before he vanished from my existence without a word.
“I can’t remember the extent of it, but I believe he acts as he does because the fuckhead holds a massive grudge that I didn’t jump from grace and instead fell. I think I might have tried to make a deal or something to protect Grace, and I failed to follow through.” He shrugs. Tipping his head up, he stares at the glittering chandelier. “Or maybe it’s all in my fucking head and he’s a dickwad. Who knows? I hope that once I shed mortality and end the cycle, things will come back to me more clearly. I hate only getting tiny glimpses. But whatever. There’s no point in regretting anything...except abandoning you the way I had. That was fucked up, and I’m sorry.”
His apology touches me deeply in a way I never thought it would. I can’t control the sudden blooming emotions unlike anything I’ve felt in a while, and I grab him and pull him to me, hugging him. He groans and laughs, patting my back as if he’s unused to this sort of affection. I start to lean away, but then cool fingers clasp my biceps. Raven releases a light giggle, sandwiching Elias between us. Her eyes shine with unshed tears, but she’s not sad. Her soul shines brighter than I’ve seen it in weeks. I want to bathe in the beauty of her light from what she finds and loves in this moment.
“You guys are so cute. I just want to cuddle the hell out of you.” Raven laughs again and snuggles her face into the crook of Elias’s neck. “Get used to it, Elias. These devils have a squishy side that will swallow you up and you’ll suffocate happily in their affection. I know I do.”
“You love this too much,” Elias mumbles, trying to turn around to face her.
She doesn’t allow him, tightening her embrace. “You bet I do. It makes me want to show you.”
Rocking her hips, she playfully humps him, making him bellow a laugh. If his exertion of his lungs didn’t cause a coughing fit, she might never show him mercy. I loosen my hold on him, letting him bow forward. She shifts on her feet, smoothing her hand over his back. A frown flashes across her face for a moment, but she pulls herself together, hiding it from Elias as he regains control and straightens up.
“Always fucking ruining shit,” he mutters under his breath.
“Never,” Raven says softly. “I don’t want you to blame yourself for things out of your control now.”
“She’s right.” I smile and touch Raven’s cheek. “It won’t be like this forever.”
I regret saying the words, because Raven’s bottom lip trembles at the thought. I can’t imagine what it’s like being in her position. She must be the one to claim Elias’s life to make him descend. It’s their tether that will push him down.
“Maybe we can go upstairs and get this over with, darlin’? Make me a wicked devil now and put me out of this misery.” Elias’s face hardens with his words. He’s steeling himself against his own fear of death. “We’ll make it a party or some shit.”
Raven doesn’t respond to his comment, her beautiful eyes darkening with her thoughts. It would be the most practical thing to do, especially after everything, and all of us know it. If she took his mortal life this instant and sent him to Hell, we could move forward with our plan. I nearly agree with Elias about it.
But then a tear slips onto Raven’s cheek and crushes all thoughts of reason. Murdering an evil bastard or killing out of self-preservation is one thing. Taking the life of her soulmate? She’s not ready. The idea hurts her on a soul-deep level that burns through my middle. She’s tough—Raven is stronger than she thinks—but it’s the softer side of her that I want to protect. I never want her to let that side go, and not only because it’s the side I’ve fallen madly in love with beyond comprehension. It’s the part of her that will make her an excellent queen in Hell and the force of Purgatory.
She will help return balance to the world and give souls a chance to grow instead of getting lost in their personal Hell forever.
I drape my arm over Elias’s shoulder. “Come on now. I think you’re only saying that because you want to make love to this beautiful woman.”
Elias chuckles, his painful expression smoothing out. “You’re not wrong there.” Shifting on his feet, Elias swings Raven’s arm, smiling. “I’d love to pick up where we were interrupted and do things our way.”
Raven’s face heats with her blush, though she doesn’t rush to give into him. “How about you let me make you something to eat first? Maybe cuddle and catch up on some TV?”
Elias nods his head. “That sounds even better. I’ve missed you more than you know.”
“Then go meet me upstairs. I’ll be up in a few minutes.” She turns to me. “Mind giving me a hand?”
My heart falters at her words, the weight of her gaze digging deeply into me. I now realize why she wasn’t quick to jump into anything with Elias. She wants to talk to me.
“Anything for you, heathen.” I smile at her as she shoos Elias away to go upstairs.
I lick my lips and test the openness of his mind, seeing if he’ll let me in. He does. “I think Raven needs a bit of a distraction. Might I suggest you undress to cuddle with her? She enjoys that.”
Elias peers over his shoulder at me. “You just want to see my naked ass, don’t you? It’s off limits, Mic.”
I try not to react with a laugh, feeling the intensity of Raven’s gaze. It takes her lacing her fingers through mine and tugging my arm to get me to move from my spot to follow her into the kitchen.
It doesn’t take her more than ten seconds to turn to me. Her blue-green eyes dart back and forth as she searches my expression.
I sigh and hang my head. “Raven, I’m sorry. I know things have been hectic and a bit strenuous between us after...our act of love.”
Cutting me off with a kiss, Raven stops me from apologizing. She brushes her lips softly, sliding her tongue across mine to ensure I don’t continue. Confusion swirls through my mind, but I don’t question her intentions or need.
Raven pulls away and puffs a breath through her pouty lips. “Micah, I can’t fault you for what you did and how you handled things. I know this whole life is new for you. It’s new for me. I never expected to find myself in this position. I care about you. I care about Kase, Dante, Elias, and Andre too. I might even care a bit about Zade. I can feel his shift. It’s like how it was with you before you abandoned grace. And it’s all so fucking crazy.”
I swallow and play with her hair, pushing it behind her ear. “But is it? I’ve known since the second you begged for help that you were extraordinary. You have so much light and love that I believe deep in my very being that it’s impossible for you to only give it to one person despite my dark desire to keep you all to myself. I know it’s wrong. I know it’s something you don’t want. I just—I can’t stop questioning my worth and being enough.”
Raven drinks me in, taking a moment to gather her thoughts before speaking. My heart pounds, my whole body buzzing in anticipation. Perhaps I was too honest. I know she appreciates the openness, but she’s mortal. She’s been trying to save her soul and I haven’t been helpful for my own selfish reasons, but I’m done with that behavior. Seeing the ring I gave her still glittering on her finger gives me hope.
“I know it’s wrong,” I add, breaking the silence. I can’t help it.
She offers me a whisper of a smile, her nose scrunching. “Oh, Micah. You are absolutely enough and everything I need you to be. And I know this is hard. It’s hard on everyone, but like you told Elias, it won’t be forever. We’re going to learn and adapt to things, and once I can stop worrying about Elias and Heaven, I think things will get better.”
“You mean even better. Because they’re all I can hope for right now. I was concerned that you’d turn away from me because of my actions.” Heat burns through me as I think about how selfish I was to take initiative to change Raven’s contract without her permission. “But even so, I want you to know that I will stand beside you regardless. You’re my purpose and always will be.”
She laughs breathlessly, her surprise over my words obvious. “All right, you sweet, sometimes naïve devil. Listen up. People make mistakes. Devils too. My ability to forgive might be seen as a fault, but I don’t give a fuck. I’m far from the perfect soul you all talk me up to be. If you think that I’m going to give up on you because of the bullshit with my contract, then I should bend you over and spank you with Dante’s spiky paddle. This is more than about me. It’s about all of you and Hell. About humanity and the souls. It’s more than about just saving me.”
“I love you, Raven,” I say, the urge to declare my feelings in this moment all-consuming. “I love you more than anything. It’s unfathomable.”
“And to think I’ve spent who knows how long being afraid of the devil. You are all just a bunch of squishies.” She steps closer and hugs me, resting her head against my chest.
I chuckle. “Don’t let the others hear you. Kase would love to prove you otherwise.”
“It’s impossible. I figured out how to make him purr. He’s lost to my light forever.” She bites her lip between her teeth.
“We all are.” If only she knew the extent of it. “You’ll make the rest of the angels fall in no time.”
She kisses me again. “After I get Lucian to drop to his damn knees.”
“I’ll help you with him, even if I have to break his legs to force him.” I flare my nostrils, trying not to breathe out fire.
Something indecipherable crosses her beautiful features. “You might have to. I’m afraid that if he continues this bullshit, he’ll fight until my very end for control. We need him on our side. I know it’s possible, but damn it. He’s stubborn.”
She has no idea.
I ease away from her and guide her to follow me to the fridge, hearing Elias’s thoughts in my mind as he wonders what’s taking so long. “It’s hard to break something already broken.”
She bobs her head, her eyes suddenly lighting up. “Micah, you’re brilliant. I think I know how to get to Lucian. I’m not supposed to break him and force him to bow. What I need is to pick up his pieces and help him get himself back together. But how?”
I don’t respond. Breaking angels is one thing, but trying to fix a devil who doesn’t see his faults?
Impossible.
“I’ll do what I can,” I say, trying not to giveaway my true thoughts.
Standing on her tiptoes, she kisses me once more. “I’m going to need all of you to work together for me. He’s broken now, but I need him shattered. It might be the only way he’ll ever truly give in to my light.”
