The Boyfriend Rivalry by Milana Spencer

25

Curtis: Term Two

I stare at the red traffic lights, tapping my fingers against the wheel. Turn green, turn green, turn green.

Usually, I arrive at school early, but halfway on the way to my siblings' primary school, Harriet realised she forgot her school bag. So I had to turn around and drive back home to get it. Max, Andrew and Dylan complained, and I was annoyed, of course, but I couldn't get too mad because I did the same thing all the time when I was young.

Since I got my driver's licence, I've started driving my siblings to school to help my parents. And maybe Harriet forgetting her school bag today and making me late for the first day of term two is a blessing in disguise. Maybe I'll be so late that it'll put off me seeing Kennedy. Or Liam. The only class I share with either of them is English, which we all have together, and English class isn't on Mondays.

The traffic lights turn green, and I drive down the familiar road that leads me to the outskirts of Easton. I've been in town for a couple of days now, and I tried to convince myself that returning early wasn't the worst thing in the world. On the bus, I called my parents to let them know I'd be home early and explained that Kennedy and I broke up. It was good to see my siblings again, and my first dinner back with my family was a good distraction from everything that happened. My phone kept buzzing with messages from the Lonsdale Bay group chat, though. I don't think Bonnie and Erin knew what happened, or didn't realise I was still in the chat, because I got messages like Will be back in an hour or they've run out of vegan ice cream sorry :(.

Those messages coupled with my brain which wouldn't stop replaying memories from the holiday made it impossible to distract myself from what happened. And going to school will be worse because I'm certain I'll run into Liam and Kennedy at some point today.

Ahead of me, I see the familiar sand-coloured buildings and lush lawns of Easton Grammar. I turn into the school and park my car in the student parking lot at the back of the school. Nearby, a bus pauses and a sea of students wearing shades of blue pour out. Since it's term two, the winter uniform replaces the summer uniform. Guys now wear long navy pants, collared shirts and a tie emblazoned with the Easton Grammar logo. Girls also wear the shirt and tie, but they have the option to wear pants or a plaid kilt. To combat the chilly weather, most students wear their navy blazer as well.

After I take my school bag out and lock my car, I walk over the stone path lined with swaying eucalyptus trees. The bell signalling that homeroom is starting soon rings just as I arrive at the Year 12 lockers. The lockers are between the Year 12 common room and the library. While saying hi to friends and other Year 12s, I grab my books and stationery and enter the library.

The Year 12 homerooms are held in the library's private study rooms. I enter mine — thankfully, I don't have homeroom with Kennedy or Liam — and see that while everyone else is here, our homeroom teacher has yet to arrive. I sit in the middle with Aiden Pate, who's a pretty good friend.

"Curtis," he says, "how were your holidays?"

I pause for half a second, then pull a smile. Everyone is going to ask that question today. "Pretty good. I went to Lonsdale Bay. You?"

He tells me about his camping trip in Tasmania, then nods at something in front of us.

Jasper has arrived, and usually, he'd sit with me and Aidan, but today he's in the front row. When I see who's beside him, I do a double-take. It's a guy in school uniform, and he scowls at Jasper with his arms crossed while Jasper leans in and hisses something that sounds like a lecture.

"New student," I say. Who the hell changes school in Year 12? In the second term, no less?

Aidan nods. "I heard his name is Kieran. He doesn't look very friendly, does he?"

Now, Kieran looks down at his blazer, clean and new and lint-free, and wrinkles his nose. Jasper says something to him and Kieran's face darkens.

"He looks like he's going to throw a punch," I mutter. In fact, Kieran looks like the kind of guy you'd avoid at night because he looks like he'd mug you. Then again, I shouldn't judge him when I don't know him. I judged Liam for far too long.

*

I always think that the first day of a new term will be special in some way, but it doesn't take me long to realise today is ordinary, like every other school day. Everyone falls back into the rhythm of first period, second period, recess, on and on. The news spreads that Kennedy and I broke up. It's not a big deal, just another piece of news in the Year 12 gossip machine, and my friends ask me about it once before moving on.

I see both Kennedy and Liam at lunchtime. In my head, I thought it'd be a dramatic, momentous moment, but when I make eye contact with Kennedy in the canteen line, her eyes slide over me like I'm not there at all. The only way I know she saw me is the way her jaw slightly tightens. I see Liam walking with his friends, but he doesn't see me. There's no awkward climax like I worried about for the past few days. Maybe I've been overthinking this whole thing in my head when in reality we'll all just ignore each other. Part of me feels like that's worse.

After school, I enter the Year 12 common area to make myself a snack before driving home. Since the busses clog up the main road, I have to wait fifteen or twenty minutes before I can drive out of the student car park.

Today, the common room is empty — usually, a group of friends will lounge on the circle of couches, while people gather around the kitchen bench to boil water for their ramen or use the microwaves or toasters. I'm grateful for it though because I don't want to make small talk. In the peaceful silence, I place a cheese, ham and tomato sandwich in a sandwich press.

The door to the common room opens, and I flinch at the sound. When I see who's come in, my heart kicks up like a motor. His tie is loose and his pants are too short for his long legs and his hair is messy as ever.

"You surprised me," I say.

"Sorry, I scared you," he says at the same time.

"That's okay," I say.

I stare at him until the sandwich press light flicks to green, and I busy myself with sliding the toastie into my plastic sandwich container, burning my fingers.

In my periphery, Liam pushes a container into a microwave, then glance at me and clear his throat. "What are you eating?" he asks.

I show him. "Ham, cheese and tomato."

"Classic," he says.

"You?"

"Pasta. I always pack extra food for after school. My bus ride home takes forty-five minutes, so I can't wait that long to eat." Is he chatting normally, or is he babbling? Does he feel as nervous as I do?

"Won't you be late for your bus?"

He shakes his head. "My bus leaves last, so I have time."

I nod, then take a bite. As I swallow, I make eye contact with Liam. He looks away, scratching the back of his neck.

The microwave beeps, and he takes his container out and opens the lid, a small curl of smoke escaping. I wonder if he's going to leave, but he pulls a fork out of his blazer pocket and starts eating here. Warm relief floods my body.

He raises a brow at me when he catches me staring. "What?"

I say the first thing I can think of. "Do you always keep cutlery in your blazer?"

"Just a fork."

"Doesn't it get dusty?" I ask.

"It's fine. My pockets are clean."

"That's… kind of clever."

His shoulders relax, and he huffs out a small laugh. "I started doing it in Year 8. It's because I kept using plastic forks from the canteen, and Kennedy said…" Liam's face twists at the mention of Kennedy's name. I try to keep my face plain. "… she said that was bad for the environment," he finishes.

We focus on eating, and I don't stare at Liam, letting my eyes check the doors and windows, praying that no one else will enter, praying that Liam doesn't have to leave. Then I can't help but look at him. His cheeks are still a little pink from the wind. He's so cute.

"I continued watching that anime," I say when the silence becomes unbearable.

"You did? What episode are you up to?"

We chat about it for a while, and Liam's surprised with how many episodes I've watched since the day I left. I'm not much of a TV binger, but I needed to do anything over the past few days to stop myself from ruminating or doing something stupid like texting Liam. I don't say that, though.

"We should have kept watching it together." It slips out of Liam's mouth. He looks down, and after a minute, says, "I, um… I told Kennedy. The day after you left."

"Oh," I say, and the hand holding my toastie tightens. "How did she react?"

He shrugs. "It was awful. Obviously. I offered to go home, but she told me to stay because we were leaving the next day. Anyway. She hates me now."

"I'm sorry," I murmur.

He shakes his head. "It's my fault."

"I'm still sorry," I say.

He stabs a piece of his pasta. "I wish we could be friends."

"I know."

"I wish we could hang out."

"I know," I say. "I wish we could…" I never finish the sentence.

"I know," Liam says anyway, before checking the time on his phone. He puts the lid back on his pasta.

"I should have told Kennedy sooner like you did," he says. "And I want to make it up to her."

And to make it up with her, he can't hang out with me. But I don't want him to leave. I want him to ditch the bus and drive with me.

He looks away from me and washes his fork in the sink. "I wish I never kissed you."

Something inside of me twists. Of course, I regret the kiss too. Not because I didn't want Liam's lips against mine, but I regret the circumstances. But in what way does Liam regret it? It's ruined his friendship with Kennedy. It turned the holiday into a disaster.

Even though I'm panicking, when Liam meets my eyes again, I force a plain smile. "Well. See ya."

He forces a smile back, taking a step back. "Bye."

I watch him leave, and when the door slams shut behind him, I exhale, my body a confusing mix of hot and cold.