Crown of Thorns by E.M. Snow
22
The driveto school on Tuesday morning is tense and silent. Phoenix hasn’t so much as acknowledged what happened between us last night, and I’m too chicken to bring it up myself. Plus, I’m burning with shame because I tossed and turned all night, fantasizing about him again. I don’t get why he affects me so much. I didn’t even think about that strange text I got; my mind was so occupied imagining what it could’ve been like had he not walked away from me.
God, I’m a mess. A hot, horny, clearly out of my right mind mess.
When we arrive at school, he surprises me further by parking out front and not in the student parking lot in the back. I shoot him a questioning look, but he doesn’t even glance my way as he gets out of the car. I follow suit, thinking his arrogance is probably just on overdrive today and he thinks his car can go wherever he wants it to. We walk in silence up to the school doors, but just as I’m reaching for the door, I notice that he’s stopped and is waiting back.
“Aren’t you coming in?” I ask with a furrowed brow.
He doesn’t even look at me. “I’ve got some business I need to take care of.”
Whatever that means. What kind of business could a teenage boy have outside of school on a Tuesday?
He turns to leave without further explanation.
“When are we going to discuss what happened?” I blurt out, the words escaping my lips before I even comprehend what I’m asking.
He stops and turns toward me, keeping his focus over the top of my head. “Discuss what?” His expression flickers between amusement and irritation.
“You know exactly what I’m talking about. Last night…”
“Careful, Luna. You’re sounding like a desperate virgin.” He turns from me again to walk down to his car, but then, without looking back, yells, “Catch a ride home with Gideon or Reina, I don’t really give a fuck. Just know I won’t be back today.”
I watch him get into his car and speed off, my fury turning my vision red. Whirling around, I yank open the school’s door and storm inside. As I march toward my locker, I spot Reina standing next to Alaric at his. I make a beeline for her.
“Whoa, Josslyn, you okay?” she asks, her perfectly arched brows knitting in concern. “You look ready to stomp on someone’s balls.”
A very apt description for what I’m feeling at present. “Do you think you could give me a ride home today? Phoenix is ditching me.”
A dawning look of comprehension takes over Reina’s face. “Ah, I see. Yeah, no problem. Just meet me in the parking lot when you’re done with class.”
I blow out a breath and manage a small smile. “Thanks. You’re the best.”
She grins and flips her wavy brown hair. “Oh, I know it. Anyway, I have to go. I’m supposed to meet with my art teacher before class to discuss my senior project, and you know how that goes. I might not be at lunch, but I promise I’ll wait around today.”
She turns and struts away, leaving me and Alaric alone.
Before I can say anything to him, though, he snidely remarks, “Saw that Phoenix made a visit to your room last night. Needed to visit his little harem of one?”
I grit my teeth, my anger flaring back to glorious life as I round on him.
“Why do you have to be such a dick?” I snap. “What? Are you jealous or something?”
His expression goes cold, and he hisses, “Why should I be jealous? I tasted you first, remember?”
Why does he have to make it sound like it was so much more than what it was?
“I regret that. More than anything I wish you’d never stepped foot in the store,” I growl, spinning away to storm off.
Instead, I freeze in my tracks.
Margaret is standing right there, watching the two of us with this strange expression on her face. I know she overheard us. I can tell by the way her gaze bounces between me and Alaric.
“Hey,” I breathe, gulping.
“Josslyn,” she says, her tone disinterested and cool.
Dread pools in my stomach I can’t have her going back to Kallista with what she heard. I don’t want the rest of the school to find out, and I especially don’t need Phoenix to hear about how I made out with his cousin at the music shop.
“Margaret,” I begin, feeling awkward and unsure how to word my request. “What you … what you just heard—could you not—”
Channeling Kallista, she waves her hand dismissively. “Don’t even worry about it. I don’t give enough fucks to make it into anything. It’s not worth my time.”
I’m oddly reassured by that as she sweeps past me. I glance back toward Alaric, curious to see if he’s feeling as relieved as I am that our secret appears to be safe for now, but I shouldn’t have bothered.
He’s already gone.
* * *
The restof my morning goes by surprisingly smooth. At first, I was wary that Margaret had lied and went straight to Kallista with what I did with Alaric, but no one makes any snide remarks or teases me, which makes me think she kept her word and her mouth shut. That’s comforting and makes me feel a little bit of hope that my friend might still be in that cold, vicious body yet.
I should have known better, of course. Even after everything I’ve been through, I’m still such a sucker. Still so trusting of people. At lunch, I’m shown just how much of a fucking idiot I am.
As I’m sitting and eating in a corner by myself, out of anybody’s way, a group of boys walk up to my table. Trevor, Margaret’s meathead from Phoenix’s back-to-school party, smirks and says, “We were just wondering if you took appointments, or if we could line up?”
My brow furrows. “What are you talking about?”
“If we want to fuck you,” another boy explains, leering down at me. “I’m sure you’ve got some kind of system so you can keep track of all the dick you get. How do we get on the list?”
I stare up at him in horror, and a chuckle circles the group.
“If you’re going to act like a whore, we might as well treat you like one,” Trevor taunts before turning and making his way back across the cafeteria with his goons in tow. I stare after him, completely at a loss. I’m disturbingly used to people thinking I’m a whore, given the fact that most of the school thinks I’m sleeping with Phoenix, or his dad. Still, nobody’s propositioned me since Gideon hit that one guy.
Something’s going on, but I don’t know what it is. Is it just because Phoenix isn’t here that people think they can up their games with me? No, that doesn’t seem right. Even with him absent, no one would dare do anything that would get back to him. So, what’s going on to make people so bold all of a sudden?
I realize then that people are looking in my direction. Some looks are dirty. Some are straight up lewd. I don’t know what’s going on, but fuck if I’m going to stick around to find out. I grab my backpack and tray and head to the conveyor belt that carts the dirty dishes back to the kitchen. I set my tray on top and turn around, ready to get the hell out of there, but I stop short when I find Kallista and her bitches blocking my path.
“What do you want?” I ask, not in the mood for her bullshit. We’re only a month and a half into the school year, and I’ve already seen enough of her to last a lifetime. Or ten.
She snorts. “I always knew you were just a chubby little slut. Poor Phoenix. He must be furious.”
That gets my hackles up, but I don’t take her bait. Whatever this is, they’re just trying to mess with me. I don’t say a word as I push forward, intent on getting through them if they won’t make room for me. Kallista steps aside with a smirk, but her minions don’t. They shove at me, hard, pushing me back and forth as I try to fight my way from their clutches. I’m just about free when someone catches me from behind with a particularly brutal shove and I go flying forward face first to the floor. I catch myself with my hands so I don’t crack my skull open, but I almost wish I had so I could pass out as the girls, and what sounds like the rest of the cafeteria, begin to laugh.
Somewhere in the distance, I hear the teacher on duty shout out Kallista’s name, but I don’t care. It’s too little, too late, and I need to get out of here. This cafeteria, this school, this fucking city. I just need … out.
Climbing to my feet, I take off in a run, not caring if they start to call me a coward or some bullshit like that. I just need to get out of there before I burst into tears. I make my way down the hallway outside the cafeteria, and head straight for the bathroom. Since most everyone is at lunch, the chances of being able to be alone are high. When I reach the room, I throw open the door and walk in without checking to see if there’s anyone inside.
The smell of smoke hits me before I see her. Reina is standing next to a window that she’s got propped open with a science book, lit cigarette dangling from her fingers.
“Hey, I was wondering when I’d run into you,” she says, blowing a puff of smoke out the window. She levels me with a more serious look than I’ve ever seen on her before, and I realize her eyes are red. Puffy. Like she’s been crying. “I thought you said nothing happened between you and Alaric.”
“Wh-what are you talking about? Reina … are you okay?”
She drops her cigarette to the floor and puts it out with her foot, then saunters toward me as she pulls out her phone. Stopping in front of me, she holds up her phone and there’s a TikTok video playing on the screen. It takes me a moment to realize what I’m seeing, and then my stomach drops to the floor.
The video is of a text that I sent Margaret over the summer. The one where I lied to her about losing my virginity to a hot stranger that I met at the music store. The text is rotating with a clip of Alaric and I together this morning. He’s hissing that he tasted me first. I’m telling him I regret that day in the music store. The implication is clear.
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.
“Well?” Reina asks with an arched brow. “Care to explain? You lied to someone. Please tell me it wasn’t me. I don’t care if you fuck my brother, just that you’re honest. The last thing I need is another friend…”
The dark look that passes over her features as she trails off, and I swallow hard and take a tentative step in her direction. “Another friend that what?”
And is that why she’s been crying? Because she thought I was lying to her?
She makes a sour face and shakes her heard. “It doesn’t matter.”
But it does. At least, it does to me. Still, I know that Reina won’t elaborate, no matter how much I press her, so I let out a shaky sigh. “I didn’t lie to you, I lied to her. She wouldn’t get off my back about the whole virginity thing, and I saw it as an out so she’d leave me the hell alone and…”
I’m hyperventilating now, my chest rising and falling rapidly.
To my relief, she gives me a firm nod and lowers her phone. “Okay,” she says. “I believe you, but this is a problem.”
I nod. “No shit. What am I going to do?”
“One thing I know for sure is you need to take care of that bitch or things are only going to get worse for you.”
“You’re right, I guess. It’s just…she was my friend…”
“No, she wasn’t,” Reina says, a hint of pity in her voice. “Trust me, Josslyn. You don’t need an asshole like that in your life because girls like her? They only take and use. Cut her out before she does any more damage.”
With that, she pats me on the shoulder and moves past me and out the door.
* * *
I thinkabout Reina’s words every second of Spanish, and by the time the final bell rings, I decide she’s right. I do need to do something about the bitch.
Marching through the halls, I hunt Margaret down at her locker. Coming up beside her, I slam the door shut, the metal banging loudly, even over the noise of the hallway as everyone gets ready to leave. Margaret jumps, obviously started, and swings her wide gaze to me.
“What the fuck, Joss?” she huffs.
I get in her face. “Why would you do that to me? Why would you spread that shit around?”
She has the nerve to look momentarily confused before a slow smirk forms on her face. “Oh, I’m sorry. Was it a secret that you’re a huge slut? My bad.”
“What happened to you?” I demand, my voice breaking. “We were best friends, but the moment you saw Phoenix you went stupid. You decided to obliterate everything that stood between you and a sociopath.”
Margaret’s eyes go wide, and she frantically looks around, as if to see if anyone heard me out her stupid crush on Phoenix. When she turns her gaze back to me, her eyes are burning with fury and embarrassment.
“At least I’m not some pathetic orphan with a shady-ass brother who’s probably in jail or dead too,” she hisses.
Her words are like a slap in the face and my cheeks begin to heat with embarrassment. “I don’t know who you are anymore,” I say softly. “But you’re not the Margaret I know.”
“Tell that to your toilet-scrubbing grandma,” she spits. “Oh, wait, can she even understand you anymore? Why is it that everyone you love ends up dying on you, Joss? Dying or getting fucked over?”
Each syllable is a carefully aimed bullet meant to rip me apart. I can’t let her know that she’s succeeding. I can’t let her see that I’m shattering on the inside, my heart breaking as she betrays my every painful secret to the gathering crowd of onlookers around us. I need to get out of here before I crack. I need to go somewhere where I can be alone and fall apart in peace.
Lifting my chin, I say, “You’re pitiful, and we’re done. So done.”
I don’t wait for her response and turn to walk down the hall. She yells something, but her tone is whiny and desperate, and I don’t actually understand her words. I don’t stop walking until I’m well outside the building and make my way to the bus stop. Grabbing my phone, I shoot a quick text to Reina to tell her not to wait for me. I need to be alone right now, and the Townsend house is the last place in the entire world I want to go.
Instead, I hop on the shuttle van when it arrives and ride it across town to my old neighborhood. When I step off the bus again, I’m surrounded by a world that is familiar to me, and yet somehow foreign. I don’t feel the same as I walk down the block to my grandma’s house. Have I gotten so used to the luxuries living with the Townsends has offered me that the shabby houses and cracked pavement beneath my feet now makes me uncomfortable? I hate that. I hate that they’ve done this to me. That they’ve made my home feel like so much less that it was.
When I get to my grandma’s house, I unlock the door and slip inside. Here, I should feel normal again. Nothing I’ve experienced with the Townsends can make this place feel any less like home.
When I go to turn on the lights, however, they stay dark.
Dejected, I drop my backpack by the door and drag my feet back to my grandma’s room. The space still smells like her, which is a comfort. I don’t want to think anymore. I just want to curl up in a little ball and pretend today never happened.
So, I do just that.
I take my phone from my pocket and turn it off. Crawling into my grandma’s bed, I throw her quilt over me and hug my knees to my chest. A numbness begins to settle over me, which is no doubt my mind taking measure to protect me from the last several weeks. That’s fine. I don’t want to feel anything, anyway. With the numbness comes exhaustion, which I willingly surrender myself to.
* * *
I wake up suddenly.Confused, I gaze around the room, but it’s dark outside, so of course it’s dark in the house. I have this strange feeling that I didn’t wake up on my own. Something woke me up, and then, I hear it.
Someone’s moving through the house. Their footsteps are heavy, like they’re not even trying to be quiet.
My heart races as terror shoots through me. Does whoever is out there know I’m here? Are they just interested in fleecing a supposedly empty house, or are they coming after the unguarded teenager alone in the dark?
Either way, I’m not about to sit there and let myself become prey.
I’m done being prey.
Slipping from the bed, I tiptoe across the room to the door. On the way, I pass my grandma’s dresser with her heavy wooden jewelry box on top. I grab it, just to be safe. When I reach the door, I press myself up against the wall next to it and listen carefully. The intruder is moving through the house quickly. I frown when I realize the person isn’t lingering anywhere. They’re popping in and out of rooms as if looking for something, and they seem to know where they’re going.
My jaw drops and my stomach bursts with anxious butterflies.
Is it Jasper? It could be Jasper. Maybe he came home looking for me. No, wait, that wouldn’t be right. He knows I’ve been with the Townsends. Some of his belongings are still here, though, so maybe he’s looking for something he left behind? That would be logical, right?
Clearing my throat, I hesitantly call out, “Jas-Jasper?”
Whoever’s out there stops moving and a deafening silence fills the house again when they don’t respond.
Shit.
I don’t think it’s Jasper.
Gripping the jewelry box tighter in my hands, I take a step away from the door. The next moment, it bursts open, and I swing the box with a scream. I aim high and connect with a solid form. The person releases a startled shout and then drops to their knees.
“What the fuck?”
I freeze, recognizing the pain-laced growl.
“Phoenix?” I gasp. Then, more frantically, “What the hell are you doing here? Are you trying to give me a heart attack? I thought you were a robber, or a rapist—”
“Would you shut up?” he growls through tightly clenched teeth.
I open my mouth to shoot back a retort, but before I can force any words out, he suddenly slumps forward, his head pressing against my legs as he goes unconscious.